Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray Man in any way, all credit goes to Katsura Hoshino.

Summary: Forced to leave the Order, Allen comes across a secret hidden in the depths of the Ark. Now, hunted by the Noah Clan and considered an enemy by the place he once called home, he has to search for the truth... The truth about Mana, Neah and himself. Where he came from and who he really is. Uncovering a web of illusions and doubts, Allen still moves forward as he promised to do... But what do you do in a war, when you feel like you don't belong to any side?

"You have got to discover you, what you do, and trust it" – Barbra Streisand.

Act Eleven – Destroy to Save

"C'mon, a little more!" Allen encouraged, his light gray eyes on Raz's hands. "Concentrate, remember that this is part of you." He went on with a cheerful tone. The girl had her eyes on her own hands as well, not blinking, a snake hypnotizing a prey… Or vice versa. Between her fingers, shadows slithered, shreds of mist escaping and fading in the air. Still, the blade of the dagger she had been trying to form seemed to remain solid, almost carved out of stone. As Allen watched, a tendril-like shadow brushed itself against her hand, going around the blade then. Now and there, it assumed an oily shine, as if almost becoming… Whatever it was they became when taking a more solid form.

They had a train's compartment all for themselves and during the conversation, Raz had started to train how to change the state of the shadows she could conjure. For now, they tended to fade far too soon or to become mist again, but she was slowly becoming able to use them as whips and seemed to be having some success with small objects, such as a dagger.

It was also helping her to get more used to it. Allen had to admit it the exposure was helping him as well. It had been… Complicated at first, the brain rebelling against a sight it could not process (or wasn't meant to). The first time he had dared to brush his fingers in that, even as a black mist, he had recoiled his hand almost at once. It shouldn't come as a surprise, really… Road's candles, like everything in the dimension she weaved as she pleased, was not meant to be. The physical pain of his eye being pierced hadn't been the only pain: Whatever that candle was made of, he had felt its essence spreading in his head, playing with his nerve-endings.

As simple as the Noahs' abilities seemed when described, there was more than that involved.

What else, then, could he have expected when touching something that was certainly more than merely a dark shape created by an object standing in front of the light?

Unaware of his thoughts, Raz risked turning the dagger around her fingers, ignoring how it seemed to fit her hand perfectly, more than a case of the power making it so, almost as if that thing had existed before and had been waiting for her. It was a strange thought, but the best way to explain how it felt.

She mumbled in reply as spirals of mist escaped between her fingers, small serpents twisting in the air. She wondered if those shreds would no longer appear once she managed to keep whatever she created solid with no risks of it dissipating suddenly.

"You're getting good at it." Allen commented, back relaxed and one of his elbows leaning in the armrest under the window. Raz just shook her head. Taking into account the fight she had seen between Allen and Tyki and how she hadn't been able to hold her own against him, this was far from "good" in her mind.

Still, she decided to just ask, not taking her eyes out of what she was doing and trying to keep the dagger firm. It was indeed similar to controlling an extra muscle, to the point one didn't feel the workings of the brain when doing so. And there was something, flowing in the veins of her entire body as well. She vaguely wondered if this was similar to how Allen felt when using his Innocence.

"Tell me more about this woman we're going to see?"

Shrugging a little, Allen repeated what he had told her. It wasn't as if there was much to tell, in all honesty.

"She is an acquaintance of my Master. The people of her town call her Mother, since she is always giving advice to those who need it." He smiled, recalling the last time she had visited her and how she had faced the man who had been supplying the Earl with people willing to make a contract with him. "She is tough, but kind."

It had been to her house that Cross had taken him after they had met, to allow Allen to recover from the wound that would become the scar in his eye. Not that Allen remembered much. The memories were blurred images and sounds that didn't make sense. The only element that was clear in them was the pain…

That was perhaps the core of everything.

The days didn't matter.

The words he had heard didn't matter.

What mattered was only the pain. It was always there, always fresh. It was in his eye, in his body, until there was nothing else left to feel. And when the pain wasn't chaining him to reality, he… Just wasn't there anymore. He didn't remember it exactly, but he did remember just staying in bed, not being able to feel anything else nor wanting to.

"Samuel is sure he is alive and I'm starting to think so, too…" Allen carried on, looking through the window to the fields of grass and trees bathing in sunlight. "Maybe she knows something. And if she doesn't, I still have some questions…" Which were the main reason why he wanted to talk to her, even more than any possibility of Cross being alive or not. If that was indeed the case, he doubted his Master would be found if he didn't want to.

God knew the man had experience when it came down to that.

Raz's eyes went up to him, before going back to her training.

"If she knows the Order and supports it, how can we be sure she won't tell them that you're there?" Her voice was as serene as her expression, not denouncing the worry Allen was almost sure she should be feeling. He shook his head in denial, thinking about the Central's Agents they had seen yesterday. It had been the first time since leaving the Order that he had seen someone from there even if he didn't know them personally…

In the end, there was no avoiding feeling bothered by it.

He had left the place weeks ago and had spent some time with the Exiled, but still, that had been different. It had been a real escape.

There was no running away from the facts: He had seen people from the place he had called home, his first home ever, warned the others and ran off. And if this hadn't worked, he knew they would have had to resort to fighting.

This wasn't how you behaved when seeing people from home…

Even trying to face the situation with rationality, Allen couldn't get rid of the feeling. Those were people who, in the past, he would have considered allies, not enemies…

"Will this sensation be gone someday?" And this line of thought, dirty and sticky, called the faces of Lenalee, Miranda and the others.

Lenalee had asked him to not leave since, saying that if he did and they ever met again, they would have to fight… Allen had joked about how she could kick him if she wanted, as people would joke with the inevitable in an attempt of finding some sort of strength to deal with it… Not that it worked. Not for long. Something like that could really happen at some point.

At any point.

He didn't want to fight any of them.

"Maybe you'll have to. If you want to find answers, you have to remain free." A malicious voice mocked him and made Allen take a deep breath. Running away seemed a far better option, but what if he hadn't a choice and had to…

No… He needed to stay calm.

"We wouldn't fight each other, they are my friends."

"What about when you were arrested?"

That had been another matter. They… They hadn't been able to do anything, not against a command from the Central. No reason for him to feel bad, he had to understand their reasons. Surely…

"Allen?" Raz's voice called him back to the present, as he hadn't truly answered.

"Well, she does support the Order…" Allen said, his muscles moving to form an automatic smile. "But she doesn't get in contact with them much and she is Cross' friend. I'm counting on that to keep us safe…" And the fact she knew him, as well. Allen was not blind to the risk at hand. Yes, Mother supported the Order in her own way, at least that was what it had always seemed like to him.

He hoped it was not a misconception of his part.

"She met me some years ago…" He told her, leaning forward as he placed his elbow on his thigh, holding his chin in thought as he wondered, not for the first time, if Cross had taken him in just out of the knowledge that he was the host of the Fourteenth… He wouldn't have been surprised.

A thought started to form in his mind, but it was unpleasant, so Allen pushed it away before it took shape. Case in point, there was a chance that Mother also knew about this and perhaps something about Neah as well.

This last hypothesis sounded weak and may increase the risk, however for now it was the only idea available. He meant to tell Raz that Mother could have information about the Noah just as well, but something kept the words from forming… He had to tell her the truth, he knew it. About why he left the Order, about Neah…

Yet even now, he couldn't find the words or the path to use to even start the subject.

XxX

Time didn't exist anymore. Perhaps it never had to begin with.

The only way to separate his existence between past and present was through the waves in his body. If not for this, all he knew would be a state of half-consciousness, as empty as a forgotten dream.

Such thoughts didn't come to Lavi in a lucid form, limited to sensations just like an infant. Several times, the redhaired man couldn't form a line of coherent images and had feared to be forgetting how to do it… When he started to think about something, his mind would spread as liquid falling in the ground, escaping control.

Then again, maybe this was for the best.

The pain wasn't present all the time. His body both sighed in relief for this blessing and feared in anticipation. He had wished for a sanctuary, even if it came in the shape of madness. He could barely move. Heat and coldness mixed in his blood, going up and down his veins and to his brain. Breathing was stable enough, but it was all his body could do. As useless as it was, even the idea of moving a member made his nerves recoil.

Yet, there was no pain.

He knew when there was pain.

In the beginning, he had managed to distinguish events around him and hear words when spoken. Lately (since when? Was there a "when"?) it had become harder. Maybe the pain never truly left, just went dormant. He knew, instinctively, that the worms of the Noah Fiiroha (Was that his name? He didn't know the sound anymore) were inside him and could kill him easily.

He felt them. He felt them inside his body, slithering over their muscles. They kept him weak and sick, becoming agitated when the Noahs came to demand answers. One of them, whose name Lavi no longer remembered, had stretched his arms without touching him as a child pulling the arms of a doll.

The Noahs wanted information that Bookman had.

For all they could do, they wouldn't kill him yet.

Lavi had started to wish they would.

For how long would his body take it?

The faces of Allen, Lenalee, Krory… The people of the Order… People that he had seen as corpses raising from coffins when Road had tried to break his mind. The Noah girl hadn't managed to do so and Lavi had freed himself… He could barely recall that he had survived, only the corpses, the cries, the smell of blood and ink.

He wasn't sure he wanted to survive anymore…

Even lost in himself, in that mass of meat and blood that was his body, Lavi still existed.

He closed his eye, barely feeling the tired rhythm of his breathing.

Somewhere, he heard a door being open and the voice of a Noah. Which one, he couldn't say.

A known wave of fear swept his body.

And he hoped for the end.

XxX

Sitting in one of the Order's gardens, Miranda had her eyes fixated in the sky without actually seeing it. The news of Chaozii waking up had run through the Order as a wildfire. She was among the ones who had visited him, happy and relieved, hoping he was indeed fine… What had happened, no one knew for sure, but the tests until now didn't pick any abnormality.

Some doctors had concluded that his system, perhaps aided somehow by his connection to his Innocence, had fought and won the Noahs' attack that should have left him in that coma-like state. Others would prefer him to remain in observation for a couple of days (which Chaozii himself had agreed). In a way or another, the exams had had at least positive results until now.

Miranda was happy for him, she truly was, but it wasn't quite enough to help her ignore what was going around or to remain detached from it. Within weeks since Allen's departure, she had noticed how people here and there seemed to have adapted and accepted the idea that he was a traitor. Aware that certain things were better kept to oneself, Miranda didn't seek to partake in those conversations, but her conviction was against it.

But it was sad seeing so many acting as if Allen had never sat with them, laughed and spoke with them. Were the good days so easy to be cast aside?

In her prayers, she always asked God to keep Allen safe and, sometimes when lying down, she tried to imagine where he would be now and if he was okay. Her mind weaved scenarios that went from white to black without her even trying.

And there was nothing she could do. It reanimated the sensation of uselessness that had accompanied her almost all her life, a disease returning after being dormant, strengthened with voices mocking her in her mind. Allen had helped and she had been unable to do the same. Not to him or Lenalee, who usually isolated herself whenever she could, wanting to be left in peace and politely avoiding any attempts at conversation that seemed to approach the subject of Allen, be with Miranda or Krory or those who openly despite Allen now. She carried on with her own personal routine, kept training and serving coffee to her brother and the others, but Miranda could see beyond the everyday actions.

"Miranda?" A voice called her, making her turn her head. The girl nodded in greeting.

"Chief Reever, hi…"

The man looked at her for some seconds before approaching her bank. The courtyard was circular shaped, surrounded by bushes and trees. An enjoyable change if compared to the previous Headquarters, that had been nestled up a hill and with not much space for a garden. Here, the winds carried the aroma of the woods and the rains seemed to wake different scents in the air.

It was relaxing.

"Thought you would be training."

"I'm done for today…" She replied. "Anything new about Chaozii?" She knew the Science Department was as informed as others about the subject.

"The doctors had good results with the late exams and he claims to feel healthy. They don't know if they like this or not, I guess…" It was hard to decide about it, when what had left Chaozii in such a state had been an unknown attack. On another hand, he had displayed a slow recovery, like it would have done with a serious disease, rather than an unexpected, sudden one.

Miranda had no reply to this.

"Well, at least he is awake…" Her attention went back to the garden, the grass and the flowers waving lazily when touched by a breeze. Reever was quiet at her side, merely enjoying the sun and his little break before heading back to work.

"Yeah…" He agreed thoughtful, suddenly asking. "What do you think about Link?"

The woman's eyes went to him, sunlight reflecting in the brown waves of her hair, falling softly on her shoulders.

"You know." She replied in a whisper. Reever almost smiled, it had been a silly question: Like him, Komui, Krory and a few of the others, she didn't believe for a second that Allen was responsible for the man's death. Just the idea of Allen killing someone was ridiculous in itself, unless in a scenario where there were no other options.

He disliked fighting even the Noahs, for crying out loud.

"I'm not sure Chaozii will agree with this argument..." He wondered. At a moment, while passing by the infirmary, he had seen the Exorcist talking with the two Finders who had joined the Order along with him and were currently telling him of everything that had happened during his coma. He didn't know how to interpret the hardness of Chaozii's black eyes, but perhaps it was worry for Lavi and Bookman.

Reever wondered what the hell the Central was doing. They weren't divulgating more than usual and he could only hope they were thinking in a way to investigate their disappearances and how to help them. The Noahs would have left their bodies to be found if they were dead and both were (it seemed) more valuable alive, if the Clan managed to force them into spiting whatever info they wanted regarding the Order.

He, Johnny and Komui had discussed the matter among themselves, but they had no idea of what they could do once they didn't even know where the two could be. The most logical answer would be the Black Ark, and they had no means of reaching there. And if they did, how would they be able to rescue them right in the enemy's territory?

One thing that he did know for sure was that the Central was studying their own Ark almost furiously, seeking a way of controlling it without Allen. If someone asked Reever, they could keep trying until they all died and it wouldn't make a single difference. This was technology beyond what they could understand and the only reason the Order had been able to make use of it had been due to Allen.

"Reever?" Miranda took him out of the river of his thoughts.

"Ah, sorry. I was just thinking here." He chuckled as if it was nothing major, but Miranda just gazed at him and he sighed. "Things have not been quite good around here…"

"No…" She agreed with a sigh of her own. They could wonder and wonder how things had gotten to that point, what exactly had happened and Miranda knew they would just get caught in a circle of their own questions. "They haven't been good at all…"

It seemed she was about to say something else, changing her mind in the last second. They remained as they were for minutes, none of them having anything to say until Reever stood up, checking his pocket watch.

"I better go back, otherwise the Supervisor will run off again." While he stood, his eyes met hers and Reever saw in them something he had seen in the mirror: A particular stand, firm and strong.

And he knew Miranda saw this in him as well.

"Chief Reever… Well… All storms must end." The woman said suddenly, barely realizing when she had started to speak. The words felt weak even to herself, but if they could offer even if just a little comfort, she would try. "No darkness lasts forever…"

He nodded in agreement. While there was truth in what she was saying, there was also another thought: Storms could kill people before they had the chance to see its end.

Not that they had any choice before facing it.

XxX

"When we entered the room, he had a gun." Allen was telling. "And started going on about how a small town could only prosper with a huge hospital and I don't know what else." He shook his head, his expression between one of disgust and certain amusement for what had followed. "Mother arrived right on time, you should have seen it."

"What do you mean, what did she do?"

"She kicked him right in the face." He said with a shrug as if it was the simplest thing ever. One wouldn't expect a small, old woman to be that strong to the point of leaving a larger man like that doctor unconscious. "After that, I don't know what happened, but Mother said he would pay for the things he had done." Both exchanged looks, imagining what the woman would do to that man who had been killing patients to give "akuma material" to the Earl. "Lenalee and I spoke to Liza before leaving… She seemed to be doing better."

Or as good as someone could be, with the reveal that the person she loved had been actually murdered. Liza had proved herself to be a strong girl and the two Exorcists had been sure she would go on, not forgetting Lenny but also not getting lost in her grief. He wondered if perhaps they would get to see her while they were in town…

"And could you find anything about your Master?" That had been the reason why he and that friend had gone there during their search for the General, for what Allen had just told her, along with some details of who Cross was (and his behavior).

Allen palled a little, a corner of his mouth shivering in the same way of a nervous tick.

"Oh, yeah, we did…" He mumbled. "A bunch of debts. His 'trail", per say…" It shouldn't have surprised him that the only clue they could have about Cross' location would be bills. Sadly, this was quite appropriated.

Raz blinked, her fingers suddenly going through the dagger's handle that once again dissolved into shadows before disappearing. The girl stared at him.

She could only imagine how this Cross man was in person.

"Your Master sounds a specialist in disappearing…" She commented, leaving her hands to rest at the side of her body on her seat. "I get why you and Samuel think he's alive… But what happened to him, really?"

Allen stared at her and hesitated for a second. This was close to other subjects. Timcampy, that had been resting on the table as if watching the exchange, placed his tail around his body, his wings closing.

"One day, when I was in the Order, he… He disappeared. There was nothing in the room, besides a broken window. And blood… In the glass, in the ground…" It had been a grotesque and red painting, the mask of his Master fallen in the windowsill… And Timcampy, for days, had continued to go there, giving the impression of being able to smell Cross and have hopes that the Master would come back… Or perhaps he had been going there to mourn. "Later, I found out that he had been attacked by Apocryphos."

More than find out, he had seen it when the creature had grabbed him.

His heart shivered in anger.

"That Innocence hunting you…" Raz nodded. She still wasn't sure she had truly understood but knew that it wanted to absorb Allen, one of the reasons why he had left the Order.

The rest was left up for imagination.

A silence fell over them. Allen could see Raz thinking to herself and this was another pull in his conscience. Still, she didn't ask.

"Raz… I'm sorry."

The Noah raised her eyebrows, his words as intelligible as a foreign language. Of whatever she might have been expected him to say, an apology was not part of the list.

"For what?"

"Well, it's that I'm not telling you everything that I should…" He whispered, sustaining her gaze. "And you know it. I'm sorry."

His left hand distractedly caressed Tim, who had perched on his shoulder. The details Raz knew were just a basic, general picture, a line that lost itself among a web. Anyone would feel that there was far more than what Allen had limited himself to tell.

Raz just kept looking at him until she sighed as well.

"It… It can't be easy for you…" But she had questions, she wanted answers and this didn't need to be said with words. She didn't pressure Allen and was still too focused on her own sensations and learning, what she was able to do and the world around. All this worked as priorities and distractions, but it would be a lie to say there weren't moments she just wished Allen would tell her everything.

"But you haven't told him all about your nightmares either, have you?" That… That was different, wasn't it? She barely remembered those dreams to begin with, all that remained after she would wake up were the emotions crawling inside.

"No, it isn't…" Allen agreed. "The feathers you saw that night…" His eyes went to her hands before he could help it. Like his Exorcist Sword had left scars in Tyki after their fight in the Ark and Apocryphos had pierced his hands when the man fought him, some of the wounds in Raz's hands had left scars that crossed her palms in thin, pale cracks. Despite having healed, according to Raz, they still throbbed from time to time. She just tried to ignore them.

The girl nodded in understanding.

"You know they are part of Apocryphos…"

Even if she knew this already, the disgust was no less than the first time she had heard it. And Allen couldn't say he didn't understand it, he avoided thinking about the time he had spent with those things inside him without his knowledge because it always invited a repulse that made him want to puke.

Raz remained still. Even without ever having laid eyes on that creature, she had no trouble considering it obscene.

"And… In the night he attacked me and this happened, I…"

I was in the Order's dungeon, he meant to tell, to explain all that had happened and the reason.

And he would have done so. If it wasn't for the wave of energy that surged in his eye and spread through his body in a warning.

Raz saw the blood-red gleam and the lens appearing. Both stood at once. The floor trembled as if something was moving the rails around. Screams filled the air, along with the screeching of metal denting. Allen and Raz lost their balance when the train agitated under them, throwing both against the door of their cabin.

"Damn it!" Allen groaned, trying to regain balance when the movement stopped, the compartment in a half-turned position. He knew that at least the wagon they were in, had been taken off the rails. The sounds refused to cease, a cacophony of human cries and denting metal and something that could be shooting or laugher.

Without waiting, Allen went to the window, using it to get out, balancing himself over the train, Raz doing the same.

"Think they knew we would be here?" She leaned in the seat to take impulse out of the window, seeing the akumas around. One of them, whose appearance defied any idea of sanity, attacked another wagon, claws that came out of appendices alike arms with more joints than any known creature opening rips in the metal. A mouth with rows of teeth let out a repetitive sound that could be taken as a scream.

Around, two akumas lifted themselves in the air with bladed wings to then descend as hellish birds, claws aiming for the heads of the people trying to get out of the train and run away. The other was slithering by the ground, chasing humans. With his eye, Allen noticed the presence of two more akumas inside the train.

"No, I don't think so," Allen replied quickly, grabbing his arm and pulling, feeling the wrist hardening and the bones changing shape into a sword. The first akuma turned the protuberance that was his head to him, the voice going over the storm of sounds.

What it was saying, Allen didn't know, but the sound was of recognition and the serpent-shaped akuma stopped changing humans, lunging to Allen, who jumped, avoiding a bite and attacking. The blade pierced easily the side of the creature's head, opening it.

Around, more screams.

"Run, fast!" Allen yelled to the people, taking care to not slip and fall. Even if they were akumas of level Two, he needed to be fast to get rid of them before they killed someone. Luckily, the cry of the first akuma and the sound of death of the other had called the attention of the others. Allen knew they would consider him a far more valuable prey.

The winged akuma attacked. The white cape involved Allen as he spun his sword, but it was three against one (five, counting the akumas whose growls pierced the train under his feet). One of several arms came closer…

Black straps made a cracking sound when wrapping the creature's arms. They didn't reflect the sunlight despite their oily appearance. Standing near Allen, Raz growled as she tried to hold the creature.

The akuma let out that same sound of recognition. Allen meant to scream, but he had to jump to avoid an akuma from inside the train that was piercing the metal, aiming for his feet as the winged ones still came down in intervals.

"RAZ, WAIT!" He cried. The Noah didn't give signals of listening, face hard with concentration, trying to pull the akuma that her shadows had caught in her direction at the same time she jumped, dagger back in hand, the blade of more than fifteen centimeters, sharp end…

The cry of souls fading into nothing tore Allen's brain as he remembered. The akuma Road had told to self-destruct… The akumas destroyed by the Third…

"NO!" He jumped in time, throwing his body against Raz. The girl groaned in pain and surprise as they fell over the train, rolling and hitting the ground.

"What's gotten into you?!" Raz asked, her control shattering. The akuma, free, jumped to their side. Both backed away, avoiding to be grabbed by the claws coming out of his arms.

Allen held Raz's hand and pulled her to trees near the rails, dodging when an akuma came down in their direction. Behind them, there was a sound of metal ripping when one of the akumas forced its way out of the train.

"Stay here! You can't attack them!"

"Are you insan…"

Screams still echoed in his mind, along with a whisper of despair that begged for help before fading in the air forever. No. Not again. Not ever again. Allen grabbed the girl's shoulders.

"YOU CAN'T ATTACK THEM!" Raz stepped back without wanting to, Allen's hold was firm in her flesh. She had never heard him screaming like this, let alone at her. "If destroyed by anything that it's not Innocence, the souls bound to them will be destroyed as well! YOU'LL BE DESTROYING SOULS, DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?"

He pulled her behind a tree, avoiding an attack and released her.

"Stay here!" He said, running back to the akuma that had left the train, a thing full of protuberances that no one could actually tell what were, heads or organs.

Raz was still for a moment… Allen had told her about how akumas were created and from where the energy that moved them came from. Knowing her Clan was responsible for the existence of something like had…

"You'll be destroying souls, don't you understand?" He had screamed… Raz didn't know yet why or how, but she knew he could see the souls caged in those metal things, tortured at each second in an existence they had been forced into after death.

Destroy… A soul? That was what she would be doing if she attacked an akuma?

Allen threw himself against that shape that was beyond the laws of physics. It wasn't even possible to say if it had eyes… One of the bird-akumas attacked. Allen dodged it. The spider-akuma attacked. Allen defended himself with his cape, hitting with the sword. He didn't land a hit, but when the weapon spun in the air, there was a screech of one of the winged creatures. Hurt, it landed at Allen's side with a roar, but ropes of his cape wrapped it and Allen cut it, using it as support to cast himself to the air once the akuma exploded.

He landed on the fallen train. The spider-akuma came to him in confused movements, the winged one attacked with the claws…

Allen got ready…

Pain exploded in his ankle. There was still one akuma inside the train, whose thorn-filled tentacles held him in place. The winged akuma's claws reflected the sunlight in an eye-burning way. The akuma with the protuberances opened itself in fangs and claws over Allen, who just had time to cut it and pierce the sword against where he stood. The akuma let him go…

Allen turned up, to the winged akuma, but too slow…

Darkness appeared over him, a black flower blooming.

The akuma hit that, sending shivers through the shadows and crying in hate and surprise, the impact still forcing it back.

"Raz, I told you…" He saw her there, on the train with him. The girl stepped back, her back against him and Allen felt shivers in her cold skin as she fought for control, watching the akuma's movements.

"You said… I can't kill them." She muttered, her eyes meeting Allen's and he knew there was no way of deterring her. "But I can keep them away."

Allen hesitated, but sighed before jumping against the spider-akuma as Raz wrapped another with her shadows, fighting to keep it in place and to not let her focus falter.

Ana: On Allen's defense, he was really trying to tell her the truth, but the akumas have the worst timing.

Allen: Of all the times, always the worst. Couldn't they wait?

Ana: This chapter for me was a bit boring, but they will reach Mother's house in the next and things will go back to being interesting soon.

Lavi: My first appearance and it was just to say I'm in Hell?

Ana: Yup.

Lavi: Oh, c'mon, will someone give me a hand?

Earl: Oh, be happy you're alive.

Wisely: When we will appear again?

Road: And why I haven't healed yet? I want to see Allen again soon!

Ana: Easy, everyone! We need more "calm" chapters too and...

Lavi: CALM? I'm being tortured!

Allen: CALM? We were attacked by a bunch of akumas!

Ana: What else is new?

Lavi: I think I hate you..

sparklehannah: Indeed, I think sometimes we need more "calm" chapters, per say. More details about their situation in this chapter, though, yeah, far from good. Actually, they are in a pretty screwed up situation.

Lavi: How are we going to get out of this mess?

Wisely: In a coffin. If there is anything left to be buried, of course. You're only alive because we need your old man to talk.

Sheryl: I just would rather have results sooner than later.

Ana: Whew, thanks for that... I really, reaaally want to keep the Noah scary, so I'm doing my best to keep the "creepy" vibe they have, but I find it hard most times.

Earl: Oh dear, why would anyone be afraid of us?

Ana: I so hope you're being sarcastic, because, REALLY? For now, Levelier is leaving them be, but most of the Order is actually believing Allen is a traitor, not good. And... To be honest, Chaozii is not my favorite character either. From my point of view, he needs so much someone to blame for Anita and the other's death that he becomes blind and narrow minded and I hate that. While Allen is an Exorcist out of wanting to help souls and be a savior, Chaozii is out of revenge and not in a good sense (if there IS a good sense). And his hate for Allen pisses me off too. Sorry to say, but I doubt you'll like him here... At all.

Fiidora: At least my worms are still in him, so we'll know what the Order is planning.

Krory: And this is supposed to comfort us somehow?

Fiidora: It isn't.

Allen: I thought using the sword right at the beginning wasn't a good idea. Not only because it could, you know, provoke her genes as because it is too strong since she doesn't even remember how to use her powers. It was best to start small.

Raz: With a little training, we could train with it soon... At least I'm managing to be helpful now.

Ana: I honestly always thought most Noah, if not all (of the previous generation), would know this song. So while it wasn't the one from Raz's dream, she remembered it.

Allen: Maybe she heard Neah playing? Or the Earl?

Ana: Who knows? Not telling it yet. But yes, eventually, she will remember the one from her dream. Glad to see you miss the Exiled! For me it shows they are nice characters!

Lauren: We will be back soon!

Ana: I confess that I split the group exactly because I think this is a conversation Allen and Raz need to have alone. He was going to tell her now about everything, but akumas have the worst time. But he needs to talk to her first, before they confess all this mess to the Exiled... It is a very delicate subject to Allen, after all. They will be at Mother's soon and Allen has questions. About Neah, Mana, Cross and himself... He has been wondering how and why HE is Neah's host. And where he came from and his real parents...

Allen: I need answers. Let's hope we'll find some soon.

Ana: Glad to know things worked out. It sounds like a pretty bad storm, especially being in the road like this. Glad to know nothing bad happened! And I liked to know your favorite pairings! The ones I see the most with Allen are indeed Lenalee or then Road, Tyki or Kanda.

Raz: I agree with Lenalee, Allen sometimes gets a bit too self-sacrificing. Even I can notice that!

Allen: I just want to keep others safe!

Ana: Start a club along with Harry Potter... No, really, nothing wrong with this, but you don't have to carry everything by yourself. I also think this is not only due to what happened to Mana, but because he is was quite alone for a long time. Lavi was really there for Lenalee, too. Also some scenes in the Ark show him caring for her.

Allen: It is hard to imagine my Master with anyone... In a, you know, actually caring relationship.

Ana: That's because it's you. When we watched her in the anime, my mother commented she thought Cross never actually did anything with her because he knew Anita had real feelings for him and he respected those. He was a womanizer, but he wouldn't give her false hope. I don't know, all I know is that though she didn't appear much, I got fond of her. And by Cross' expression, you could see he was actually sad that she had died.

Samuel: Cross is... Well, that way of his, but he cares for others. He just doesn't show it very much.

Ana: I found that Marie/Miranda is a really popular ship! And hey, why not? They actually seem to care for each other and I think they would be cute together. Miranda is also one of my favorite characters, she is really adorable! Hmm... I never thought about Bak and Fou in romantic level, but now that I think about it, it would be cute. I always saw them as more of "always-bickering friends" before reading this, but I don't know if Hoshino will be able to give them screen time, considering how many characters this manga has.

Allen: I remember this... I have no idea why he asked such a thing!

Ana: Because the girl liked you, you're too blind to see it.

Allen: Now I wonder what he would say if he met Raz.

Ana: ... Let's not think about it. I've read about that theory. I'm not sure if they were lovers, the thing with the age bothers me. Well, I have a theory as to why Road seems so young and I'll use it here, but I always thought they were just really close friends. There is no denial that even after what Neah did, she seems to care a lot for him. I'm anxious to see details of what happened between them, hope Hoshino will tell soon! I have my version for this fic, but, c'mon, I want to see the REAL reveal in the manga!