Rey, it's time to get up

"Mhn, five more minutes..." Rey grumbled.

A chuckle from above. "You said that ten minutes ago."

"That's because it's too early to be awake." She still refused to get up, instead moving so that she was in a more comfortable position against him. Yes, she was glad that she had decided last night to forget about being embarrassed and just succumb to the peace and comfort that laying against Ben brought her.

A sigh. "It was your idea to get up this early."

She grumbled again. "I didn't mean this early."

"Any later and it wouldn't be early."

"I changed my mind then, sleep is better."

"Didn't you also say last night to make sure you didn't change your mind?"

She didn't have an argument to use against that, so instead she decided to simply ignore him. It didn't last long, however; as soon enough she felt him place a soft kiss on her cheek.

"It's time to get up, sweetheart."

She grumbled once more before opening her eyes slowly in order to look up at him. "You cheated."

He grinned. "All's fair in love and war."

"Very funny." She sat up finally, yawning and rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "Remind me never to suggest going somewhere early ever again."

He chuckled again before getting up and moving to start getting breakfast ready. He didn't really need her for that, right? Right.

I think I'll just lie back down while I wait...

"Rey."

"Uhn?" She looked back over at him blearily, thoughts of going back to sleep still prevailing.

"Why don't you help me?" He came back over to her and grabbed her hands, pulling her off the bed. "It might help wake you up more."

"But I don't know how to cook."

"You just need a teacher. I can show you the ways of cooking."

"Oh, I see you're being real funny this morning."

He laughed once more at that, and she let him lead her outside to where their makeshift kitchen was set up. She honestly was curious to learn; she just wished that it wasn't morning.

/

Ben honestly wouldn't have minded if they had stayed longer in bed, but after seeing how determined she was last night to do something so hard he had decided to put away whatever he wanted and just help her through. She did, however, look incredibly cute as she sat there half asleep, her hair a mess around her face and her eyes half lidded as she tried not to fall back on the bed. It took every bit of self-control he had not to pull her into him and stay that way the rest of the day.

He got up from the bed before it got the better of him, and in the end, he convinced Rey to help him make breakfast. Partly because he really did think that it would help her wake up, but mostly because he was eager to share it with her. She was the first person that he had ever felt comfortable sharing this with and couldn't wait to show her more.

"You know, since we got back too late last night, we should tell Mercy today that we defeated the droid." Rey mentioned halfway through preparing the food. "And didn't you want to talk to Eir about what happened at the ruins?"

"...You're stalling." He looked over at her, watching as she tensed.

"No, I'm not! I'm being completely reasonable." She nodded firmly as she spoke, yet refused to look at him. "We can't just leave Mercy worrying about a droid attack that's never going to come. And it would be good to talk to Eir if we're going to keep living here."

Ben let out a small sigh, reaching over and gently taking hold of her shoulders, getting her to look at him in the process. He could feel her shaking under his hands and he didn't need their bond to tell him how nervous she was; he could see it on her face. He didn't like seeing her this way, feeling just how uncomfortable she really was. Every part of him wanted to stop, to just acquiesce to her wishes, and just make sure she was happy, but she had asked him before they went to bed last night to make sure that she didn't back out of this, and he was intent on keeping his word.

"We can tell Mercy before we leave and talk to Eir when we get back." He leaned down, placing a soft kiss on her forehead. "It's going to be alright," he said softly, brushing a stray piece of hair out of her face, "I've seen your strength; I know you can do this. And don't forget that I will be with you the entire time."

"I can do this." She whispered softly, leaning against him. He could feel a small part of the tension leave her, feel the ever-present fear that had settled within her. There was a long day ahead of them, but he was determined to make it as easy for her as he possibly could.

/

Rey had wanted to be able to mostly just observe Jakku as they arrived, and had as such suggested that Ben take the Pilot's seat. As they entered the atmosphere it both felt like yesterday and yet at the same time like so long ago that she was desperate to come back here, still fooling herself that her parents were bound to come back for her one day. So much had happened since her fateful rescue of BB-8, met so many people; Finn, Poe, Han, Chewie, Luke, Leia…Ben.

"The belonging you seek is not behind you, it is ahead."

She looked over at Ben, letting a soft smile spread on her face. She was glad that it was him; glad that out of anyone if could have been to help her face her childhood, it was him.

"Well you're certainly in better mood then you were this morning." Ben said after he had caught her staring at him.

"I guess I am. Honestly, I felt worse before we arrived, but now that we're here I feel better about it." That wasn't to say that the fear had gone completely, but rather it had dulled enough that it was a bearable, yet still uncomfortable knot in the pit of her stomach. It was still an improvement over the barely controlled panic that she had felt right before they had left, and she would take any relief she could get.

As her own feelings were beginning to even out slightly, Ben's began to rise as they were passing over the remains of a ruined village. To her it looked like a case of raiders attacking, but she knew it meant something else to Ben. She knew what this feeling meant; the soul deep aching of regret from the actions of Kylo Ren.

"Ben..." she reached over and lightly placed a hand on his arm.

He glanced over at her, pausing the Falcon just past the village remains. "I don't know why I'm so surprised I forgot about this." His voice wavered as he spoke; lips trembling and eyes looking to be on the brink of tears. "But it's not like I..." his voice hitched then, and he swallowed before he continued, "...it's not like he cared."

"This is from when you were looking for the map, isn't it?" She slid her hand down so that she could take hold of his hand. His only answer was a small nod, gripping her hand tightly as he looked out at the wreckage outside.

"After capturing that pilot, he...I..."

"Sir, the Villagers?"

"Kill them all."

She couldn't still any longer after that, getting up from her seat and wrapping her arms around his shoulders tightly, pulling him close to her, forgetting about her own fears for the moment. He held her tightly in return, burying his face into her. She wished that she knew what to say make him feel better; but she couldn't just say 'it's ok' when in reality being the cause for an entire village's demise was the exact opposite of that.

Are you sure I'm not a mons -

I am.

While the things that Kylo Ren did were inexcusable, the fact that Ben Solo felt so badly about it spoke volumes.

"Ben," she began softly, interrupting his self-destructive thoughts, "you are so much better off now. You, Ben Solo, are a good person. The fact that you came for me is proof of that."

She felt him take a deep breath against her, slowly starting to relax. She knew her words wouldn't erase what happened in the past; she just hoped that she could ease the pain, if only a little.

/

Ben loved hearing Rey say his name; there was something grounding about it. After going so long without hearing it, every time she said it was like a subtle reminder of who he was finally becoming. It wasn't an easy thing, spending years pretending to be someone else and then turning around to try and be who you were before. He knew he had forgotten things; forgotten exactly what made Ben Solo, Ben Solo. There were really only a few core things that remained, etched into him so thoroughly that they could never be lost. But even amongst the worst questions about his own identity, Rey was always there, helping to affirm who he was. Idly, he wouldn't be surprised if that was one of the reasons she seemed to go out of her way to use his name so much.

He took a deep breath against her, willing himself to calm down. With her there, he would be able to face anything that came from Kylo Ren's actions.

"We should get going." He pulled away slightly, starting to feel the guilt starting to creep in at having distracted them from their original goal.

"If you're sure you're ok to keep going."

"I'll be alright, this trip isn't supposed to be about me."

"Ben," she began, pressing her forehead against his, "this is about both of us facing everything together. There aren't any rules about what can and can't come up."

"You're too good to me." He said softly, feeling his heart swell and leaning forward just enough so that he could kiss her briefly.

Niima outpost wasn't much to look at, giving the impression from above that it was merely a cobbled together set of stands trying to appear like a functioning bazaar. "Is this really where you want to land?" Ben asked, glancing over at Rey. "It doesn't even look like it has a functioning spaceport."

"It does right over there, sort of." She motioned over to where a few other ships could be seen sitting on top of nothing more than hard packed dirt.

He gave her a look. "That is not a spaceport Rey."

She shrugged. "It is here. Now stop complaining and let's land already."

"Alright, alright..." He muttered, navigating the Falcon to a spot in the back, away from the rest of the ships. "Where do you plan to go first?"

"We should find a find a speeder if we want to get anywhere in a decent amount of time before we decide that." She said, dodging the question. "I'm sure the one I used is long gone by now, probably either used for parts or claimed by someone else."

"Is this where you turned in what you found during the day?" Ben asked cautiously, unsure if asking her about her former daily routine was a good idea or not.

She nodded, not taking her eyes off the outpost that was just before them. "Every day without fail." She paused for a moment, before finally looking over at him. "Do you want to take a closer look?"

"Are you sure?" He could feel the almost overwhelming nerves creeping back into her, the desire to never step foot in the outpost ever again.

"Yes. Besides, we'll have a better chance of finding that speeder if we look around." He was once again amazed by her inner strength; terrified and yet still able to push forward.

"Alright," he took her hand in his, trying to provide her the same grounding effect that she gave him, "just remember that you aren't alone in this."

"Thank you, Ben." She gave him a weak yet appreciative smile before pulling him towards the make shift bazaar before them.

Once they arrived, Rey began pointing out and explaining the various stands to him without prompting; he let her ramble on however she needed, whatever it was that came across her mind. Whatever it was that she needed to get out, he would be there to listen. While he was not happy in the slightest with how she had come to the knowledge of how this place worked, he couldn't help the part of him that was ever curious to learn about new cultures, questions of his own slipping out for her to answer -

- when she was suddenly no longer by his side. He looked back to find that a large Crolute had grabbed Rey by the arm. "There you are girl. Did you really think you could come back after that stunt you pulled?"

"Unhand me." While she was glaring at the man, he could feel her barely controlled fear building just underneath her carefully controlled expression.

"I'd do what she says, if you want to keep breathing." Without even so much as a second thought Ben had ignited his lightsaber and placed it against the offending man's neck, close enough that the skin was beginning to burn from the sheer proximity of the searing heat. While Ben knew that Rey was strong enough to handle the situation herself, there was no way he was about to make her deal with it alone, especially when whoever this man was had triggered such intense feelings of fear.

She's saved me countless times before; now it's my turn.

And all it would take is one swing and this Crolute would be no more than a lifeless husk on the ground

The Crolute stuttered something unintelligible, but let go of Rey's arm, stepping back in the process. He stood up to his full height, looking to Ben as if he was trying to cover up the obvious fact that he was vastly outmatched. Ben made sure to stand up to his full height as well; edging out the Crolute by mere inches. "And who do you think you are, boy?"

There was no more time to think about it now, no more deliberation. Now was the time to finally affirm to himself and the world just who he really was.

"My name," he breathed, pointing his lightsaber at the Crolute's neck, "is Ben Solo."