Wanderers in the Dark

by AnaWolf

On the night Allen is forced to leave the Order, he comes across a secret hidden in the depths of the Ark. Now, hunted by the Noah and considered an enemy by the place that was home once, he has to search for the truth... About Mana, Neah and himself. Uncovering a web of illusions and doubts, he moves forwards, but what do you do in a war when you don't belong to any side?

20. Act Twenty – Remains of Hope

Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray Man in any way, all credit goes to Katsura Hoshino.

Summary: Forced to leave the Order, Allen comes across a secret hidden in the depths of the Ark. Now, hunted by the Noah Clan and considered an enemy by the place he once called home, he has to search for the truth... The truth about Mana, Neah and himself. Where he came from and who he really is. Uncovering a web of illusions and doubts, Allen still moves forward as he promised to do... But what do you do in a war, when you feel like you don't belong to any side?

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"Trust dies but mistrust blossoms" - Sophocles.

Act Twenty – Remains of Hope

There are some events that, as much as they can't be denied, can take time to be processed as if the human mind, in an attempt at self-protection, prevents the comprehension, rejecting that what happened may have its room in reality.

That was more or less how Allen felt, looking at the little transparent bag that Alison had in her hands.

"Kanda gave it to me…" The girl muttered, fighting to not lower her gaze. She had never minded Timcampy much, he was just "around" and she had accepted the presence with not much thought… However, now that she had had to hand the remains over to Allen and tell him of what had happened, for the first time she realized that Tim hadn't been just a golem. Her being felt the weight of realizations that come too late. The words got stuck on her throat and she had to force herself to say "He… He said he found Tim like that…"

A shake of her head.

"He didn't know what happened…"

Allen still didn't answer.

He just stood there, looking to the transparent bag of black shards.

Then, as slow as a dream, he reached out. His fingers wrapped around the bag with nothing but gentleness, feeling the edges of the fragments that, despite hard, had a sort of fragility to them, not unlike bones of a baby bird…

His stomach turned at the touch, yet he didn't let go…

That… That was what he was holding. The shattered body of a friend.

He had never truly understood Timcampy completely. He changed sizes and ate (regardless of not truly needing nutrients as far as Allen was aware) and his behavior had always been more like that of a living being than the number of gears and screws that were the golems of the Order.

"I'm sorry… I really am." Alison whispered, hating the uselessness of the words. She always did.

Allen remained in silence, the black shards in his hand before he held it close to his heart, almost as if he wanted to hide them from the world.

There was a warm touch in his shoulder. His nerves knew this hand, knew this touch and the flesh underneath relaxed a little, aware it was Raz in a clumsy attempt of comfort and neither of them needed exchanging glances to share the loss or to communicate what lurked in their hearts.

Taking a deep breath, he looked to Alison and Samuel with a weak nod of gratitude as his fingers closed more around the bag as if wishing his touch, somehow, would help the little creature to regenerate.

"The Master would know what to do…" The thought came out of control. And it was true, Cross would have known how to fix Tim, right?

It was one of the rare occasions when he wished he knew where Cross was or how to get in touch… If at least he were still alive…

"Did… Did Kanda say why he was going back to the Order?" Lauren asked with a small voice, not knowing for sure how to act or make questions with the current atmosphere, though the answer was obvious. Yet, she wanted to go on with the subject (any subject) as they left the room, paying attention to anyone who might look like someone from the Order or of the Noah Clan.

"No, but there was a General. Tiedoll." Samuel told them. "According to Kanda, he had no choice" He couldn't say he believed that or not, even if the samurai up until now had given a vibe of… Well, he wasn't sure if "loyalty" or "friendship" were the exact terms, but Kanda at least hadn't given him the impression of being someone who would denounce Allen to the Order. Or them, for that matter. On another hand, one didn't spend years hiding from the Organization and just gladly accepted that someone who knew about them was going back there.

As if aware of his thoughts and of how unpleasant the news were, Johnny said.

"Kanda won't tell anything to anyone…" He knew that, in Allen's case, that wasn't the only thing that caused the bitterness of the news: Allen had wished for Kanda to be free and now the samurai was going back anyway. It made everything regarding his escape and Alma feel empty of any value… "And he did say he would get in touch, right?" His own golem was inside his coat to not draw attention, still functioning. He had taught Kanda about the frequencies and what he had done to his own golem during the days they had been searching for Allen and Kanda had asked about it out of boredom. Surely, Kanda would remember it. He would be able to temper with his golem in the same way and be able to call them…

"What's the plan now?" He asked as they left the inn, Raz and Alison watching the streets pretending they were searching for directions. People passed by muttering among them about explosions and destructions, many seeming nervous, frightened.

No sight of anyone that resembled a member from the Order.

For now.

"Calm city." Samuel reflected. "We see it right away. They are not used to violence. Or if they are, perhaps stealing and robbery, but not the extremes like murders, let alone monsters and I don't know what else." Not for the first time, he felt somewhat saddened. Once, when he was younger and knew less of the gears of war, he had commented that he hoped to live enough to see the peace that he wished would someday become a reality.

Cross had chuckled.

"You talk as if we are heroes of a story. Don't kid yourself, Kallen." The red-haired had said lifting a glass of wine, the young woman at his side rolling her eyes. Back then, Samuel had thought this had been due to what Cross had said, but afterward, he came to understand that it was more due to how it was spoken, a little dramatic. "It doesn't matter what side we are, in the end, we also bring nothing but destruction." That day, Samuel hadn't understood what the man that would become his friend had said… Today, it was easier for him to see from his point of view. Yes, they were protecting humans. But even so, there were times when innocents got hurt. And well, no matter the objective, their acts were destructive all the same…

And if they didn't do anything, people still ended up hurt.

They were stuck. They couldn't stand still, they couldn't move forwards, not without being somehow related to destruction. Caught in a whirlpool of violence, affecting them and people who had nothing to do with it all the same. A spiral.

"I… I don't know…" Allen muttered, noticing they were all looking at him with something that wasn't too far from expectation and blinked. "What?"

Alison rolled her eyes, scoffing a laugh and Elana smiled gently.

"I thought you would try to save your friend?" An innocent question, but it made Allen's shoulders fall a little, as a child caught trying to steal cookies. "Oh, honestly, Allen…"

It was too clear that this was what he wanted to do and you couldn't even pin this in his nature (though it was). It was what friends did, actually.

They followed through the busier streets, pretending to be just like the people around, their senses sharpened for the smallest clue of being followed. There were chances that the members of the Order could first search for Allen in quieter areas, expecting him to be trying to hide, but they wouldn't ignore how a crowd often offered a good cover.

"If we're lucky, they will be too focused on finding an individual to notice us."

They looked over the train station from afar, suddenly spotting a man with a yellowish Finder-like coat walking nearby the entrance. Another man was there, standing on a passage at the end of a few steeps, who would have looked completely ordinary if it wasn't for the vibe they had learned to distinguish: Of someone making a conscious effort to look the part, his eyes dissecting the crowd for a particular face.

Perhaps, like animals could identify beings of the same species, they could feel something about that man because they had been part of the Order one day.

They knew.

He was a Crow.

"Klaud may have told about Raz, but they don't know about the rest of us…." Allen thought as he pulled the hood he wore to hide his white hair and looked over to Raz. She had been quieter since they had met the Earl and Allen knew her enough to see this wasn't her typical silence. He wanted to talk to her about it, but they had no time now and he couldn't think about how to start the subject with several things wandering in his mind like bugs that refused to rest.

He saw Alison adjusting the large black cloth on her back, hiding her bow, and making it look like she was carrying a bundle.

"Should we just go and take the risk?" Johnny half-suggested, half-asked, giving voice to what Allen had just thought. "I mean… Maybe they won't be paying attention to a group…" Yet, as he tried to reassure himself, his heartbeat increased. Even now, this was a pale fear compared to the dread he had felt when trying to carry Allen away from the Earl.

It had been the first time he had been so directly involved in a confrontation with the Noahs, even the time the Order had been attacked didn't come close to this.

Raz had her gaze on the unknown man. The entire storm in her found a line to follow and it threw itself on it: That man was a member of the Order. With this, he became a focus. It didn't matter if he wasn't an Exorcist, the desire of attacking was born in her nerves.

It would be so easy… And in this, there was a temptation with the taste of chocolate, spiced with blood. She could cast cover his eyes to blind him, hold him and now the Noah wondered about all the possible ways she could hurt him until his body finally gave up life (or until she got bored with the game, most likely).

She wanted to do it.

She wanted to rip him open, leave his blood free to flow as she listened to his silly pleas for mercy and then death, while his body refused to comply. She wanted to see his organs working, wanted to play with the limits of how much pain his nerves could sustain until they stopped working, once the limit between life and death was reached…

It sounded fun.

And funny, too. The idea of someone being cut by shadows.

A shiver ran up her spine and it cut her thoughts, making her realize their nature.

"God, please, help me…"

"I'm not sure I like it…" Lauren muttered, almost to herself. "But we can't just stay and wait."

They exchanged glances. Even if the entrance to the station was large, those men had been trained by the Order. An attempt at distraction, such as an explosion or anything of the sort wouldn't have the desired results either, it would be too obvious.

There was no choice but to hope that they were right, that a large group wouldn't call their attention.

They headed for the entrance, as far from the spot where the man was as possible, trying to not look at him, knowing he might feel their stare. Allen stood on the opposite side so if the man looked at their direction, he would probably be hidden by Samuel, Elana and Lauren. Johnny was at his side while Raz and Alison stayed some steps behind, watching for any indication the man had noticed something or was curious about the group.

Were their steps this slow or the path entering the station too long?

No one spoke. Raz and Alison took care to not look too much at the Crow. People used to feel when they were being too observed.

People passing by them had cold auras.

Even when they were in the line for the tickets, there was no sensation of peace or safety. Allen needed to hold his hands, to stop them from going to his hood, feeling as if he had a thousand eyes over him. Any person around made his nerves tense as wire and he almost expected someone yelling his name at any second, trying to hold him.

"Calm down, it will be okay"

He had thought the first time he had escaped some Crows, months ago, would be worst and that afterward he could (perhaps) get used to it… And had just realized how wrong he had been.

There was no way to get used to this.

His eyes went to Elana and she must have seen the nervousness in him, for while she tried to give a calming smile, the corners were stiff and shivering and he knew she was just as tense as him.

They were prey here.

"Calm…" Johnny whispered at his side. His hands shivered as he tried to pretend to be just a person who needed to catch a train. Behind the glasses, he side-glanced at the entrance. The Crow standing at the side of it was out of view, but he could see the other yellowish-coat, walking around in deliberately calm steps. "We'll get out of this…"

He wanted so much to be brave, so much to stand tall and be confident…

But he was scared. He was still scared.

"I'm scared, yes, but I won't run."

He looked at Allen and then back at the crowd. He could see Alison and the Noah girl standing a few steps away. Alison pretended to study one board with some information about trains and destinations while the other pretended to be waiting.

What… What if those Crows saw them?

For a moment, he wondered if the Noah wouldn't end up killing them, but kept the idea inside. He felt he shouldn't ask this.

The boy at his side shivered suddenly, brusquely holding his own. Underneath the sleeve and glove, it was possible to see the flesh throbbing and the fabric moved as if trying to hold a living being.

"No, not now!"

"I'll go near the platform!" Allen whispered with urgency, indicating his arm with his eyes, even though there was no need, not with him standing so close. Samuel looked around with ferocious eyes as Lauren whispered.

"Apocryphos?"

He nodded. If that creature was in the station, all he could do was walk away and try to lose it until they got aboard the train and left.

Johnny swallowed. In the hotel, as they got things ready, Allen had told him about the Innocence and how he had run off when he had been fixing the copying machine not to escape Johnny, but because he didn't want to put anyone in danger especially after that being had killed Link. Johnny had never ever heard of an independent Innocence. And Allen's description was more fitting for a demon.

"Don't worry, I'll just walk nearby." The station was huge, some paths to the train platforms more crowded than others. He could only hope that Apocryphos would have difficulty finding him with so many people around and even more since the feathers he had left in his body had long ago been torn off by Raz.

He had to hope.

"We'll go with you." Lauren decided, but Allen shook his head. The girl looked annoyed and about to say something when a family passed by, chattering happily and Allen started to follow them close enough as a son who wasn't enjoying the trip, while still keeping a distance so they wouldn't be bothered. Johnny gave the others an apologetic look and followed. He stayed just far enough for Allen to not be shocked, watching around for anyone.

"You know what? I really fucking hate this habit of his!" Lauren muttered, to which Elana looked at her somewhat surprised at her swearing as she took off after Johnny as Allen disappeared in the crowd. Elana sighed. They all knew Allen didn't want to endanger them, yet this didn't make his attitude less annoying in her opinion.

XxX

When you were walking in a crowd and wanted to remain unnoticed, it helped to be a scrawny teen. The only downside was his scar and so, Allen kept his head lowered just enough so he could still watch out. Some steps away, Johnny and Lauren followed and he realized they were doing the same…

Feeling somewhat lighter inside with this, despite his initial decision, he stopped near the path to platform seven and hid behind a large column, sitting down as he kept holding his arm, grateful that it hadn't entered a full brute state or ripped the fabric of his sleeve like it had done hours ago.

"Does it hurt, Allen?" Johnny asked as he came closer, recalling how he had found him fighting the possession of the Fourteenth and imagined if this was something of an alike nature.

Allen still tried to smile.

"No… It feels weird, but…" It wasn't something there were words for. His arm still throbbed and he almost could see white points in the glove and wrist. Something inside him was a wild bird that had just woken in a cage and send waves of nervousness in him. He could feel it, yet the sensation didn't truly come from his own emotions.

And it didn't hurt.

"It was my luck that Raz took Apocryphos' feathers out…" He thought, aware that otherwise he would be feeling the agony of that night again, tearing his nerve endings and Apocryphos would be able to pick his localization far easier.

As if his memory of the Noah gouging the feathers with her own hands was a calling, he heard a muttering.

"What is going on?"

It was Raz.

"You should be with Alison." Allen replied, still holding his arm, to which she seemed exasperated.

"She joined Elana and Samuel. We saw you walking away." She turned to Lauren and Johnny. "They already headed to the platform, we need…"

"I felt Apocryphos, I didn't want him to find I'm with you guys." Allen explained as he stood up, to which Johnny shook his head.

"Even so, Allen… It's the same thing you did earlier…"

The three of them gave him a stared and Allen avoided their eyes. He knew it was true, but he didn't think they understood it… They had never seen Apocryphos or felt that thing trying to absorb them.

He was afraid.

For himself and for them. He would rather have the whole group being angry with him, but alive and not seen by that thing.

"I just…" Don't want any of you to get hurt, he meant to say, but the flesh in his arm seemed to dissolve, nerves in a seizure.

They had been distracted for too long.

Turning left, Allen was aware of what he would see no matter how much he wished it wasn't so.

He was at some steps away, just enough to be considered a safe distance (though Allen didn't consider anything safe about him) and also enough so they could talk without having to raise their voices.

Glasses with lines that almost reflected the light. Serene and docile eyes. A smile.

Allen saw fake eyes, stolen from a living person and forced in the flesh of a corpse, skin of wax, the mouth making the shape of a smile, invisible hooks pulling the corners.

Link's face blinked in his mind and he stepped closer to Johnny. People passing by saw nothing wrong and were far more concentrated in their own lives than what happened around, unaware of the creature disguising as human.

Johnny stood his ground with Lauren as he saw the man that looked like a cardinal he had seen once around the Order. He had always been there, always watching…

For how long?

"There, there… I didn't come to do anything today, Allen… Just talk, that's all." The creature raised his hands, in a gesture of someone showing that he's unarmed as his eyes remained only on Allen, as if nothing else mattered. The face was arranged in an expression that others would consider calming, sweet even, but Allen saw the truth.

Because he had seen the truth.

Meanwhile, as soon as she saw the creature, Raz was taken by the same sensation of the first times she had been exposed to Innocence, only far more powerful: Something old and new at the same time, taking over every vein, sense and nerve of her body on, born and made of an array of emotions. After her time with Allen and training, self-control was possible, but now…

The flesh in her hands trembled as if aware this was the same being of the feathers that had cut her back in that night. Her eyes were on him, unaware of the cold loathing they showed, overflowing as her body was unable to keep it. And the desire to see blood, to rip flesh apart with her own hands was all she knew at that moment.

Focused on Allen as he was, Apocryphos didn't take notice of the other three. After he had been attacked by some Noahs, while he had been hurt, he had escaped and decided it was better to make sure the boy was alive and well. Seeing him after so long, feeling his Innocence still there and how he hadn't let himself be taken by the infection of genes of Noah filled him with glee.

Allen was indeed a wonderful Exorcist!

"Oh, Allen." He muttered softly, almost as if to not scare him away. "You keep fighting this parasite Noah. I knew you wouldn't give in!"

At that moment Neah was awake in Allen. His conscience still oscillated weakly and the feeling that came from Crown Clown had echoed in Allen's body, alerting him as well. To hear that thing speaking made him cold with hate. Parasite?

That creature had the nerve to call him a parasite?

He would have loved to take control now by force but fought against the impulse. This wouldn't help and could end up damaging Allen's body.

In his turn, to hear the pride in Apocryphos' voice made Allen's stomach turn. Maybe it was because he knew what lurked under the false human skin, but he couldn't bear looking at him without a fury he hadn't ever felt before.

"You killed Link." No accusation, it was an affirmation. "Why?" He didn't mention Apocryphos' supposed decision to leave him alone today, as he didn't believe it anyway. Cross had been friends with Neah, so this was probably the reason behind his attack, but why would Apocryphos kill Link? "And Timcampy… You…"

Apocryphos understood what the problem was. Always so protective of others, even when it was just an imbecile who merely followed Levelier's orders and didn't care for him at all and a stupid thing created by Cross... That was just one of the reasons why Allen was such a splendid Exorcist.

Allen felt his mouth dry. Despite wanting answers as much as he did, he could only hope Apocryphos wouldn't dare to attack in a place with witnesses. He felt Johnny holding the hem of his sleeve and pulling as he risked a step.

Allen hesitated. If he managed to distract Apocryphos by talking… They could risk running when he lowered his guard…

It was the only chance…

"A sad necessity. I know how it must have been awful for you to hear about it, but there was no choice. And today…" The boy didn't know that Link wasn't dead and Apocryphos saw no reason to tell otherwise. What good would it do, anyway? Yet, he would investigate later if the blonde remembered him and if he had told anyone.

Oh, well, better to kill him anyway.

"When I found your golem, we made a deal." He explained, aware that Allen didn't trust what he had said. "I promised to leave you be today, I just wanted to see if you were alright. I do keep my promises, Allen. Always." He backed a little away without moving from his spot, so he wouldn't look threatening and saw his words had had the desired effect: Surprise replaced anger and he hoped Allen had understood. "And I'm sorry for this Allen, I am. But that thing was created by Cross Marian, as a gift to that Noah. It wasn't loyal to you, it would have betrayed you. I did it for you, for your own good…"

Allen felt as if someone was shaking his nerves, the small bag with Timcampy's remains in his pocket heavier now and the caring tone of Apocryphos disgusted him.

Damn him.

His hands clenched into fists, hating how he couldn't attack. Still, he took another step aside, but Apocryphos eyes followed the movement…

"Now, now, I know you must be very upset…" The creature smiled almost paternally as he looked over his shoulder and saw Lauren and Johnny for the first time. He blinked. "Oh, I did think he had left to search for you. See, Allen? He was worried. I was too. And the Heart is worried too, so worried…" Allen noticed the feverish look in those eyes, the color starting to shift somehow…

"If even people who don't… Understand… About…"

The words hesitated as Apocryphos saw Raz.

His smile melted, the words died.

Raz sustained the stare, not bothered when comprehension came to the Innocence's eyes, along with a new glint that was very different from the one of until now.

"Allen…" He whispered between teeth, disgust, and hate revealing as worms in rotten flesh. Despite his still human appearance, Johnny and Lauren felt a wave of dread as they felt something about that shape, something under the human skin that mocked nightmares.

Something old.

Something whose thought patterns were beyond anything that a human mind could understand.

And whatever it was, it clashed with Raz, the cold that irradiated from her own hate. Two demons staring at each other, two creatures whose mere existence defied the laws of nature and of sense.

They didn't invoke fear.

They were their creators.

"Allen…"

Apocryphos turned his head to Allen, showing teeth that seemed about to melt together as he still kept them in a smile, his eyes unmoving.

"Why would you be walking with this abomination?"

Raz stood at Allen's side as if she had forgotten him and the others. Dread was her veins as well, but the hatred won against everything. From what Allen had told her, she knew she would be no match for Apocryphos, but her blood refused reason. She wanted to rip the wax-like skin apart, to reveal the creature underneath it…

And she wanted to feast upon his screams.

Never forgive the Innocence.

Allen held her wrist when he saw her eyes and the desire in them.

But it was Apocryphos' eyes that frightened him.

Forget caution, they needed to run now.

"He said he wouldn't do anything to me. Not to someone who is with me."

"No. No" Apocryphos growled, skin trembling loose over whatever they covered. "Wrong. To associate with a Noah?" He spitted the term as if there was nothing so disgusting in the world. "You're an Exorcist, Allen. You shouldn't be with that. You can't, can't, wrong, wrong, wrong."

Allen leaned towards Raz as he felt Lauren stiffen behind them. He tried to hold Raz, tried whispering her name to get her attention, to remind her they had to leave as Apocryphos was distracted.

"Impure, detestable, murderers." He said something else, words that Allen had never heard and that didn't seem like a real language, but feelings turned into sound. Disgust? Hatred? Those were weak names for what Allen heard in Apocryphos' voice. "Repulsive. You're gentle, Allen, but they aren't. They shouldn't exist! Suman Dark learned this in the end, oh, he did…"

His last words this time stopped Allen from running.

Suman?

His mouth felt dry.

"What are you talking about?" His muscles ached with being tense for so long. He ignored it. Johnny pulled his sleeve from behind, Lauren walked to his other side and pressed his shoulder with her own. Allen didn't move.

Apocryphos did.

In an instant, he held Allen's head.

What followed happened in seconds.

Near as they were, Lauren, Johnny, and Raz saw the flesh in the fingertips melting. The nails were gone. All that remained was a white mass joining Allen's flesh, entering it. Veins spread in his forehead as roots.

"Let me show you. You will…" Apocryphos began, his palm over Allen's mouth so he wouldn't scream as he held Apocryphos' wrist, struggling. Something overflew to his mind, cutting connections to reality.

Something sharp came to Apocryphos' wrist.

His arm shook with the impact, nearly releasing Allen.

Johnny had stabbed him with a knife, the blade deep in his flesh, finding no bones.

"L-Leave Allen alone!" Johnny hissed. Apocryphos shook his arm to get free of that silly thing, still holding Allen. Johnny still held the knife in place, applying his weight against it.

At the same time, he felt something on the other side of his body.

The Noah.

The Noah was there, a long black dagger in hand. He felt the essence of shadows piercing his body as a poison from a snake's fang, flowing to him.

How dared she!

Yet, as putrid as it was, it was too weak. He attacked, the skin of his free hand melting the disguise. The Noah backed away, fast, but not enough. The blow to her chest was light, but it took the air from her lungs all the same.

The knife trembled, almost dissolving before firming itself again.

He held it, pulling it out as it faded into mist. Disgusting, putrid, grotesque…

He turned to Johnny, who challenged him with his eyes…

"HELP! GUN! MUGGING! POLICE!" The mocha-skinned woman shrieked as loud as she could. "GUN!"

Now people turned. A lady screamed. Others ran. Someone else cried for security.

Apocryphos backed off. With the sudden interruption in contact, Allen almost tripped before firming his legs.

"What mess is this?" Someone yelled in the crowd with authority. Apocryphos felt stabs in his feet. He saw blades of the Noah's shadows, who was already running as best as she could with the other woman and Allen and Johnny.

Apocryphos growled to himself, fury threatening to dissolve his disguise. Not because Allen had escaped (he wasn't lying when he said he just wanted to check if he was fine), but due to the outrage of being attacked!

He would tear the organs of that Noah whore out for this.

The blades in his feet faded in seconds. He was Innocence and far stronger, but there was still a certain ache, too insignificant to be damaging, but still annoying.

"What is going on around here?!" A man, no doubt a security guard, asked behind him. Apocryphos' fist clenched as hate for the woman… He turned back, with a smile. All his being pulsated with hate for Noah as well and thinking that one of those things was with Allen Walker, no doubt infecting him with her rottenness made him sick.

Nothing of this showed in his features.

"I don't know, sir. I heard screaming and just rushed to help."

He hoped he didn't have to resort to certain… Measures, if this silly man insisted on something as an interrogatory.

After all, it was terrible when innocent people needed to be sacrificed.

XxX

Allen felt he was going to vomit. His vision went in and out of focus, the corner of his eyeballs being filled by mist from inside out. He fell inside himself, almost as if slowly fainting.

The sound of voices around was intertwined by other voices that he couldn't tell if came from his mind or not. The concrete became earth and…

And the smell…

The smell…

The smell of the plantation close by was overtaking, as well as the subtle scent of wilderness that came from the forest near the village. The house ahead was relatively big for this region, the walls with marks that indicated the passage of time.

It was a poor-looking village, like so many.

He felt something coming from that particular house.

"What is that?" Allen thought, not understanding what happened or what was that he felt. His feet (his?) took him to the door, aware that there was no one watching him.

"But how do I know this?" Trying to focus, his senses started to fall in place. He realized his sensations were limited and he had no control over the movements. At each step, he started to feel where he ended and the body began, as a costume around him that had its own free will. He had never felt so strange, that was still beyond the moments Neah had taken over his body when he had been stabbed by Kanda.

"Excuse me?" His mouth (no, just the mouth of the body he was caged in) opened and a honeyed voice dripped from it. The sensation got stronger. There was something in this cabin that he… He… What?

Instinctively, Allen tried to raise his hand, only able to feel the hand that was not his remaining still. He didn't feel cold or heat, only that flesh he currently shared and whose workings had no resemblance to bones or nerves that he could relate to.

What was this?

Two people in the cabin lifted their heads. One was an old man with a long mustache and the other a beautiful woman with black hair.

"Oh, sir, good afternoon. What brings you here?"

Someone was lying down, over a small straw rug.

If he wasn't as limited as he was, Allen would have lost his breath.

It was Suman Dark.

Hurt and tired, barely breathing, a shadow of scrawny beard in his face that had a bruise, skin looking ill.

What happened then, Allen wasn't sure. He felt his arm stretching, fingers slithering snakes against those two people, who fell. He hadn't truly touched them, but his flesh had gone through their skins, mere membranes.

A taste of puke came to him, at an elementary level and not from the body he was in, which kneeled at Suman's side. Allen wanted to struggle, stop that hand from approaching Suman's face…

"Apocryphos, what have you DONE?" He screamed inside himself.

The hand lay over Suman's eyes. The human skin retroceded, the flesh of Innocence liberated, barely bothering to keep the shape of fingers. Upon touching Suman, the substance found its way through his eyes, invading the body and blood, going beyond bones or organs.

"Oh, Suman…" His mouth said, words carrying to the man's body, a disease spreading. "What a disappointment. You betrayed your friends, and what for? Allying yourself to a Noah… Awful, awful." The tone didn't change, but waves of cold disgust were all that existed in that body, flowing to Suman's. Something old, never stopping…

Allen felt ill. He felt as if he was touching the inside of Suman's body, exploring it in a way no one had the right to…

Then he felt it.

From Suman's arm, from the whisper the blood and the nerve endings, something came and spread throughout the body too, with the strength of a newborn baby…

"It's for the best." This time, the words were transmitted without a voice. Whatever there was inside Suman created a curious sensation in response… As if whatever it was, was trying to block the way. Gentle, but firm. Allen's mind couldn't interpret those sensations, for they were not meant for humans. What he felt was physical and not at the same time, among Suman's organs and deeper than that as well…

"He betrayed the Order. He made an alliance with a Noah. He doesn't deserve you. Filth. Traitor." The whisper carried on, unchangeable. The sensation intertwined in Suman's blood was of indignation and it shrunk, coiling like a snake…

No… No, it was wrapping something…

Comprehension came to Allen.

What he was feeling was Suman Dark's Innocence.

The Innocence of Suman was trying to protect him from Apocryphos.

What it (She? He?) involved wasn't his heart or bones, but the existence of the Accommodator. His sanity, his emotions, all that made Suman be Suman… And it spread to the rest of the body, between flesh and blood to make an inner shield.

"Don't waste your energies. See how weak you are. You deserve a worthy Exorcist, not a dog that would sell his friends" Allen noticed Apocryphos was getting impatient, despite the kind tone. As much as he claimed to understand the protectiveness, he was untouched by it. The Innocence involved Suman more firmly, the ferocious hug of someone refusing to let a loved one be hurt.

"You… You wanted to save him." Allen thought, feeling how the Innocence held on to her Accommodator almost in despair now, aware she wouldn't be able to keep him safe. Images of a little girl, sick and fragile, flashed in his mind along with those of a woman. They were warmer than the sun for someone lost in a cage, who had never known light. They came with waves of something pure, never-ending. It didn't feel as warm as the sun, it was a Sun.

Love.

Suman's daughter. Suman's wife.

Apocryphos dismissed them, not blinking.

"Traitor. Filth. Contaminated." He carried on and Allen hated him for how he hadn't paid a thought, a moment to that woman and child who were the center of Suman's entire world.

He pressed the Innocence, with the touch of needles.

She resisted, tensing and standing all around Suman.

Apocryphos didn't mind it. He just increased the pressure.

The Innocence shivered in pain but remained as she was.

Allen wanted to scream, to stop it, he didn't want to feel it was him doing that, for he felt the waves of agony and despair from the Innocence, flowing to his body as she pulsated with all she had for Sumanm who was the focus of her protection, even through the pain.

It was as if she had a sun inside herself, one that belonged to Suman.

Apocryphos pressed on. She tried to resist, to bear with it, but Allen felt the echo of her pain.

"STOP THAT!" He cried uselessly. "YOU ARE HURTING HER, YOU ARE HURTING THEM BOTH, STOP IT!"

Then his essence pierced the Innocence.

Apocryphos felt nothing.

Allen felt it all.

He felt the echo of the Innocence being ripped by his essence. It wasn't too different from when Tyki had destroyed his arm. And he felt he was touching Suman in a way no being had the right to, forcing something to flow to the man, whose body contorted, a paleness taking his skin as the flesh bloated and gurgled.

All the time, he still felt the cries of despair coming from the Innocence, which weren't for the agony she was in, but for Suman. And something came to the man's eyes as Apocryphos stood up and left, not looking behind though Allen still felt Suman's Innocence, weak and broken and in pain…

Someone calling, at distance. He knew akumas would be here soon, he remembered what had happened that night…

The voice still called.

At some point, he knew the Innocence was crying…

"You wanted to keep him safe… All you could do was to kill him because he was suffering, there was nothing more to do and you loved him, you understood what had happened, his reasons, you wanted to help him, of course, Suman just wanted to see his family again, he…"

Something stuck his face.

Not understanding, Allen looked around. The air filled with the smoke of a hazel train ahead and Johnny was looking at him, breathing heavily, hand still in the air. Allen touched the side of his face, which tingled with the ache of a slap.

"I'm sorry, Allen, sorry, but you were mumbling to yourself all the time…" They had been able to run, half-dragging Allen along the way, the boy's eyes bereft of any sense of self, mumbling until words had started to fall from his mouth, too fast and too low to be understood.

"We kept calling for you, but you didn't answer!" Lauren added frowning as Samuel looked over people's heads, searching for someone who fitted the description of Apocryphos or the guys from the Order.

Apocryphos didn't seem to be after them, but he could see some people of the Order asking around.

"Shit!"

"Let's go. Now." He said, holding Allen and helping him as they got on the train. As he looked at him with clear concern, Allen had the vague sensation Samuel might have picked him up with little trouble, should the man want to. "Are you alright? What was all that?"

Allen swallowed, his mind still suffering the effects of what had happened.

"I… I saw something… A memory of him, I…" Allen tried to explain, soon covering his mouth as he tried to force the echo of puke down, feeling the heat of nausea. His head throbbed too… It had been like when he had seen Apocryphos attacking Cross, but worse…

"I thought he was…" Raz started, without a need of finishing the thought. Allen interrupted as they searched for an empty compartment… He really needed to sit down.

He could still hear… Or better, feel, the screams of the Innocence inside of him.

"No, it wasn't like that…" Apocryphos had kept his word, but the feeling of having something of him forced into his body (mind, in the case), even if it wasn't like the feathers, was equally revolting. Sitting down, he rested his head on the back of the seat.

"Are… Are you guys okay?" He asked slowly, his body still shook by nausea.

He looked at Raz and Johnny and Lauren. Johnny was pale but nodded.

Raz was breathing deeply, trying to make it unnoticeable. Allen recalled that night when he had first seen Apocryphos, he could remember his essence piercing Tyki's hands, his fist coming to him and Road placing herself between them, taking the blow for him and falling… Later, Tyki had placed her in his arms and for the first time ever, Road seemed hurt and fragile, not unlike a doll…

And she had faded in the night, disappearing.

"Raz, he…" He sat straighter for a moment but fell back at the protest of his organs. "Are you…?"

"I'm fine… Don't worry." Seeing he didn't seem to believe and the others also looked at her, Elana with her eyebrows raised as if telling she knew it was a lie, Lauren with open concern, Alison leaning to her direction, as if fearing she would faint. Raz sighed. It hurt to breathe. "He hit me… But just by a little…"

She had avoided the touch in time and it wasn't like what Allen had told about how Apocryphos had hurt Tyki and Road, however, she felt her organs aching, poison in her blood. Not for the physical strength, but for the touch of that Innocence, the raw state.

She knew Apocryphos hated her.

And the feeling was mutual.

She gestured with her head, in a manner to say she would be okay and sat down.

"Allen, what happened to you?" Lauren turned to him. "What did he do?"

"I saw a memory of him… Of Suman Dark."

Johnny, who had just tried to feel if he was developing a fever, looked at him with shock at this.

"Suman?" He whispered. Allen hesitated but nodded.

"The Innocence… She… It wanted to keep Suman safe" Back in those memories, he had been too caught up in everything and ended up regarding the Innocence as a female, but in the end, it was unimportant. He couldn't tell for sure exactly what sort of "being" the Innocence was after the experience, but he knew questions of flesh and gender did not apply to it.

He didn't look to anyone as he said so. Inside, the scream of the Innocence echoed and he wished he would never again feel something like that, to feel that pain and hear such screams as he pierced and touched someone in a way he had no right to…

No… It had been Apocryphos, not him…

Yet, the sensation remained.

"But… He turned into a Fallen One…" Elana started carefully, confusion clear in her features. She had no trouble believing what Allen had said, it was far from the strangest thing to ever happen in their lives. "And well…" She tilted her head quickly, as someone indicating "you know what."

"It was all that… All it could do. The one who actually turned him into a Fallen One was Apocryphos…" Allen went on quietly, more to himself than the others, his mind working on the revelation, on its implications. His fists clenched. "Suman's Innocence knew he wouldn't bear to keep killing people, it knew he couldn't be turned back to normal… It tried to hurry things up, to kill him, to spare him the pain he was feeling."

He blinked, feeling the tears that threatened to come. And weak as it had been, the Innocence hadn't been able to protect him from the Teases either.

Allen shivered.

Perhaps it… She, he realized he couldn't think of the Innocence with an objectifying term after being exposed to her feelings, she had tried to kill him as fast as she could also so he wouldn't die by the Tease…

Apocryphos had done that.

Allen remembered that night, the man's pain and how he had had to ask him to bite his hand so he could take him off that white prison as Suman cried…

Apocryphos had done all that.

The Innocence had just…

Wait…

"Maybe… That's why you didn't turn into Fallen Ones…"

"Say what now?"

Realizing he had said that out loud, Allen turned to the others. It was just an idea, but after what he has seen…

"I mean, the Innocence was trying to protect Suman." He had no idea what she felt about Suman's betrayal, but it was clear she had understood his reasons. "I just thought… The Innocence might have understood your reasons for leaving, too."

Elana frowned. It… It made sense, she supposed. Samuel rotated the ring that was his Innocence, lost in thought after hearing that.

"What about the Fallen Ones in the Order?" Lauren suddenly asked, in a tone rarely heard from her. Allen's attention went to her. Her eyes were lowered, suddenly harsh. He knew at once what she was referring to.

"Well…" He hesitated, he hadn't thought of that, he had just realized this might be why the Exiled hadn't turned into Fallen Ones despite having deserted the Order. Johnny seemed about to ask something but changed his mind. "I… I don't know…"

"How fair is that?" She suddenly asked, almost hissing, then shaking her head. "We don't turn into Fallen Ones, but people forced to bond with the Innocence fail and end up like that?"

"Maybe that's why…" Johnny said slowly, making her look at him. He wasn't sure what had made Lauren react like this, but he didn't think anyone would feel comfortable with that subject. He had briefly heard about those experiments, almost in the nature of rumors, never being particularly important enough to know the details like Komui did.

He could only wonder how Lauren knew. Such experiments were usually kept a secret from the Exorcists… From most people, really.

"I mean… The Innocence is too strong, so maybe when the Order tried to force people to synchronize, they ended up turning into Fallen Ones because they were unable to contain the Innocence's power…" He said slowly. "It wasn't that the Innocence wanted to do that." He took a moment to register how strange it felt to refer to the Innocence as he would to a living being.

"Like Allen said it, you're already Accommodators, so…"

Lavi and the others had told him how Lenalee's Innocence had created a crystal to keep her safe after a fight in which her synchronization had diminished due to exhaustion and the extent of her wounds. She had been unable to activate her Innocence, but she hadn't "turned" when she had tried.

Allen as well, even after his Innocence turning into dust, it had returned to him.

Their Innocences were theirs.

"Lenalee's Innocence kept her safe. Like mine did when Tyki put that tease in my heart…"

Maybe they did turn against their Accommodators when they betrayed God, he didn't know of other cases but Suman and the Order's experiences, but even if this was the case… Now that he thought about it, he had to admit that just because the Order followed God, it wasn't the same. To betray the Order was something, to betray God was another. He didn't even know how close the Order was to the Church! Yes, they had contact with the Vatican, so much that cardinals were among the superiors in command, but…

It wasn't the same.

God was love and mercy. Betrayal out of selfish reasons and reasons like Suman's…

Allen realized his hands were still closed, nails against the flesh. He relaxed, finding some comfort in the fact that the Innocence had understood Suman.

They stayed in silence for some seconds as they thought about what they had just heard. Johnny found himself thinking less about Allen's theory about why they hadn't become Fallen Ones and more about how Suman's Innocence hadn't turned against him. He knew what the man had done, he knew people had died, many of them Exorcists, people he had known, but… Oh, he couldn't hate Suman. He could only remember him as the friend with whom he played chess, who would sometimes talk about his wife and child…

Those were the rare occasions in which the mask of seriousness was tossed aside and Johnny could see how much he longed to see them again.

He knew what Suman had done… But… Was he so wrong in wanting to forgive him?

Johnny raised his eyes to the others. They all seemed lost in their own thoughts. As he observed them, apparently unable to bear whatever she had in mind haunting her as Tyki's butterflies, Lauren sighed and looked around, her eyes then stopping on Allen.

"And those guys? Your friends?"

"Lavi. And Bookman." Allen said at once, remembering what Wisely had said. A new fire ran over his blood, pushing away the lethargy that the later discovery had caused.

Samuel kept his face calm, though a muscle trembled in his temple upon hearing "Bookman". Cross had told him about their "lineage" per say, and he had no sympathies for them. At his side, Alison and Elana exchanged glances and the green-eyed girl sighed, sitting straighter, almost in a professional posture.

"Very well. Does anyone have any idea how we're going to do this?" At this, Allen looked at her with clear surprise, to which she replied with an ironic smile that was not devoid of amusement. That was exactly the reaction she had expected from him and Lauren giggled at it.

"Oh, there you go again. It's obvious you want to do something about it, I mean, duh!" She hadn't the slightest clue of how they would approach this problem, which ramifications and details were as many as the branches of a tree, but that had never stopped anyone from doing anything before.

They had to at least try to find a solution, right?

"Maybe Ali is right. I must have a tendency to insanity." She was not stupid. She was very much aware of how dangerous any attempt or plan that they could make would end up being. "Not that she can say much about it, anyway…"

"It will be too dangerous, I…" Allen looked to each face around, feeling lost. As determinate as he was to save Lavi and Bookman, he couldn't imagine how to do it. First off, how he could go to wherever they were being kept? The localization could be the Black Ark and this was a complication in itself.

Allen glanced at Raz by the corner of his eyes. The Noah had her head leaning in the glass of the window and just watched the conversation with what would have seemed a mask of indifference to others, but he could see the intensity in her gaze and when she looked at him, he saw her support was with Lauren and Alison as she raised her eyebrows.

"Do you really think we would let you do it by yourself?" Elana asked kindly, smiling. "No offense, Allen, but… It's crazy." That was there no way how the idea didn't deserve this classification. She went on. "Besides, if you went there alone, you would be captured right away and you know it…"

Lauren scoffed.

"Yeah, I mean, what's your idea? Knock on their door and say, "Hello, dear Clan of Noah! I've come to pick my friends up, if it's not too much of a bother. Could you bring them here, please?'" Her intonation was so exaggerated and humored that Allen couldn't help laughing.

They would do this together.

Elana was right and he knew it too… He wouldn't be able to help Lavi and Bookman alone. He felt bad for involving the others all in this, but looking at them, he couldn't help the warmth from spreading inside…

And yet, even all of their strength wouldn't be enough.

XxX

Frequently, one is able to feel when there are eyes on them, observing and evaluating and, depending more on intensity than quantity, creating pressure.

Kanda felt this in the depths of his nerve endings when he arrived at the Order but didn't react. Even now, in front of the Generals, as he stood near the table in the reunion's room, he didn't lower his head or showed any emotion.

"Yuu Kanda." A secretary standing said with no intonation, though Kanda could pick some curiosity in his gaze that, mentally, he compared to one of a vulture upon seeing a dying animal. The story of his reappearance, synchronization, and evolution of Mugen and then leaving had spread as a fire from Hell and no doubt this brat was among those who would love to see what would happen to him, no matter what was.

The samurai then reported the exact events of his escape through the Ark, return and synchronization, nothing more or less. He just appreciated how they skipped the exchange of amenities to go straight to the damn point.

Sitting with Lau on her shoulder, Klaud studied the black-haired Exorcist, pretending to be completely absorbed on what he said. As some of the rest, her belief was that he had gone in search of Allen Walker. Had he found him? Tiedoll had left with Agents of the Central to bring him back, if they happened to come across him, but they hadn't heard the details and apparently, Kanda had followed them back without resistance (which she betted was a surprise to the Central).

"And it doesn't mean Walker wasn't wherever Kanda was." He and the Noah that was with him. If Kanda had found them, the chances that he wouldn't say anything about it were high. At least it was what she hoped for…

"Very well." Levelier commented as the secretary took his seat, turning to Kanda. "Do you mind informing us why you decided to leave right after coming back?" There were blades underneath the honey of his voice. Kanda held back any hint of his disdain, wondering if Link had come into contact with him. Even if this was the case, there was no solid evidence to the Inspector to accuse him.

"Not that it would make much of a difference to the Central." He needed to proceed with care. In the few hours of his return, he hadn't had time to talk to the others, but it had been easy to pick here and there fragments of rumors regarding the Moyashi and there was nothing positive about them.

"I spent too much time recovering from my injuries." He replied, still not lowering his eyes and fighting to keep a tone normal enough to not cause suspicions and polite enough to not be accused of insubordination. They would jump at any excuse here and Kanda knew the limits. "And even more in the journey back. I thought it would be better to avoid all bureaucracy and go back to destroying akumas."

"The synchronization with Mugen was perfect." Komui intervened, all his being assuming a posture rarely seen by others who had no access to those reunions. Gone was the excited man who liked to drink coffee and run away from work. In his place was someone who seemed to care only for facts and who could use the tongue as a knife. "It evolved to a Crystal type at the moment Kanda held it. Isn't it so?" The Japanese caught the clue and showed the marks on his arms. The veins were back to normal and so was his skin.

"I do believe this is proof enough that Yuu Kanda remains an Exorcist" The Supervisor carried on as if this ended the matter. Whatever had happened in the case of Alma's Awakening could be cast aside. With the few Exorcists that remained, he doubted the Central would opt for the risk of losing one such as Kanda, let alone one who had a Crystal Innocence.

If it had been anyone else, however…

Levelier just studied Komui for a second before his attention was back to Kanda. The Generals remained in silence.

"Even so, leaving right after coming back? What an interesting choice of action…" Levelier tilted his head with a smile of someone sharing a secret. "Did you really go off to fight akumas, Yuu Kanda?"

"Oh, fuck off, Levelier." He replied mentally, wishing he could grab a sword and just shred that face.

"I have no patience for unnecessary questions and waste my time. I preferred to go back to doing something productive."

"Did you take care of all your particular business?" Levelier insisted, attracting a ferocious glare from Bak and Komui. Just the fact the man was slithering the subject even near Alma Karma was too much. Kanda, however, refused to take the bait. "So, you truly left to hunt akumas or you went in search of the traitor?"

At Klaud's side, Sokaro made a muffled sound (probably a sneer or chuckle). For what she knew, he probably didn't care for the results of the reunion and was, at the moment, merely enjoying the tension. The woman studied Kanda for any sort of indication or hesitation, unable to see anything. Contrary to Lenalee, he was more controlled and reserved in some of his opinions.

"Allen Walker doesn't interest me." It was one of the few occasions Kanda was careful with the terms he chose. "He helped me to set Alma Karma free, yes, but this doesn't imply I have to follow him like a dog."

The several eyes landing on him were crows pecking the flesh in search of something deeper. To show pure uncaring towards the Moyashi was the safest route, but to avoid mentioning what had happened would be too suspicious when most of those present there knew the story between him and Alma.

He hated this.

He hated those who looked at him with barely-hidden anticipation, fascinated by the scene and his possible reactions.

Couldn't they respect at least his memory, in the way they never had his life?

"Regarding Tiedoll's proposition." Bak announced, deciding to make some progress with the matter at hand. "What do you have to say?"

The other didn't even blink.

"I don't think it changes a thing. I'll keep destroying akumas all the same." It was the best acceptance to the General's spot that they would get and let them be happy with it. Accepting to infiltrate the superior hierarchy of the Order didn't mean Kanda would lower himself to lick someone's shoes with false gratefulness.

Komui kept a chuckle in his throat as a feeling of pride was born in him, mixed with relief at seeing that Kanda hadn't changed a thing. Observing Levelier with the corner of his eyes, he noticed the man had just raised a brow and, though this had been the Exorcist's reply, it hadn't surprised him either.

"I do hope that the evolution of your Innocence and your new position don't make you forget that you still have superiors, Yuu Kanda."

They stared at each other. Not looking away, Levelier sighed and turned to the other Generals.

"We'll have to revise the units and their members. Which Exorcists shall be placed in the new unit?"

"If this is really necessary." Kanda intervened with a roll of eyes and an air of boredom. "I'd rather work with people who have been with me in missions before. At least I'm more used to stand them."

Levelier's eyes were unreadable as he looked to him.

"It would be for the best…" Tiedoll agreed, nodding, as if unaffected by the previous tension. "My dear pupil has some social issues, after all." He spoke as affably as a father commenting on his child's behavior to a teacher during a reunion. Kanda had to bite his tongue to not let out a comment of his own…

"In your old unit, you were with Noise Marie." Komui pointed out and looked to the others. "And he has been in missions with my sister as well."

"She's in my unit." Klaud interfered, grabbing the chance. "If we're going to reorganize groups and Kanda is no longer in Tiedoll's unit, perhaps a total readjusting is in order. Timothy is getting better, I suggest he becomes your pupil now." She told the painter, who smiled at the idea of being responsible for the child.

"Please, why bother? Who cares who is in this or that unit?" Sokaro mumbled with exasperation, to which Klaud paid him no mind. She was just grateful that Tiedoll was like he was, for she completely refused to allow a child to spend even one minute with someone such as Sokaro.

"Well, we must think about the people who get along better with each other. It's essential so the missions will be successful." Tiedoll replied though Kanda knew part of his affirmation was not based in military tactics, but also in the simple fact that he had liked the idea. The brat would end up being called "son" by Tiedoll.

"Better him than me anyway. Though I bet the old man will keep calling me this no matter what…" Just the idea was annoying. That was a habit of his master that Kanda had never been able to comprehend, let alone accept.

In his past, true life, he had been someone's son. But this body, the existence called "Yuu Kanda" had no father or mother.

It didn't have anything.

"And you always said you would rather not have to deal with your own unit anyway, Sokaro…" Klaud kept a tone as professional as she could, head held high and eyes of iron. Still, she had the others' attention as she showed the authoritative posture of a General.

"So, I suggest that Alistar Krory becomes part of my unit." She finished. Her reasons for this were not emotional at all, but she was convinced of Lenalee's loyalty and her few interactions with Krory indicated the same about him, but Klaud would rather be sure before making decisions about her future actions.

Regarding Kanda… Despite all, he was another one she would rather observe until she was completely sure.

They were all in a dance, in a stage of glass shards and the least wrong step had a high price.

The samurai kept a harsh comment. The vampire and Lenalee were two of the people who knew the Moyashi and it would have been better if he was their General. He kept his eyes at some point ahead, acting as if all this was a bore as he wondered why Klaud Nine would make such a suggestion.

"That Exorcist with the clock Innocence has been in missions with Marie also. They seem to work well together." It wasn't a suggestion.

"And Sokaro's unit?" Levelier asked, not showing approval or denial. Behind the metal mask came the sound of a feline groan and the General dismissed it with his hand.

"Spare me. If they want to keep their units or change them, whatever." To him, there was no difference. People were still members of the Order, still had their missions and all that talk about pupils or units had always seemed useless to him, not changing anything in the entire picture and having no importance.

Klaud had not expected anything else from him. She remembered how Sokaro had not cared at all when the Exorcists in his own unit had died…

"Lavi and Bookman must be still alive." Tiedoll recalled, noting how some people exchanged looks in doubt. "The Noahs wouldn't be satisfied in merely killing them, they would have left their bodies to be found. We do have Agents studying the case and searching for them, as well."

Some seconds were spent in silence.

"Very well, then. Those will the new units." Levelier agreed with a nod.

Kanda still needed to answer some questions regarding his return and leaving. Once the reunion came to the end, he felt tired and annoyed. He had no patience for any of this and the more bureaucratic side of the hierarchic transition was, and there was no other term, a pain in the ass.

Upon leaving the room, Kanda soon saw Klaud turning a hallway and followed her, taking advantage of the empty place. It was night already and most people should be at the cafeteria or in their rooms.

"Why did you do that?" He asked immediately, to which the blonde turned to him without any interest and a raised eyebrow. The monkey at her shoulder tilted its head and let out a small sound.

"Specifically?" She was taller than Kanda, but when their eyes met, this made no difference.

"The change of units. You had no reason to, the Central would have take charge of it anyway." Besides, he had noticed that Klaud had suggested a complete readjust of all their units and the people who had had more contact with the Moyashi were in their groups, except for the rabbit and the old man, but they were missing and couldn't be taken in account.

Kanda doubted this was a coincidence.

Klaud, on another hand, just watched him with her serious expression as she placed a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I merely thought it would be better to have you working with people you can get along with to avoid future issues that may cause a headache to others." She almost completed that she liked Lenalee and didn't want to risk leaving Timothy with Sokaro as his General, but thought the better of it. It would be more sensate to not go into details. Kanda's eyes pierced her with a way that made him look like a bird of prey.

Had he met with Walker or not?

She turned to go on with her way, stopping soon. She didn't want to go deep in some subjects, but there was a warning she couldn't keep to herself and looked at Kanda over her shoulder.

"Just one thing… I don't believe I have to tell you to be careful around Levelier?"

"How much of a fool do you take me for?"

Klaud almost smiled.

"Oh, yes. But it wouldn't be a bad idea to be careful around Sokaro either."

XxX

Considering the news of his coming back had already spread through the Order and the day had been long, Kanda decided to eat alone in his new room that, he had to admit, was better than his previous one.

Despite some extra comfort being offered, the position of General remained a two-edged dagger: On one hand, it was a good chance of infiltrating deep and search for info that could ruin the Central, on another, being so close to the snakes also meant a higher chance of being bitten. Kanda didn't mind the risk, it was how sick he felt with the idea of being all the more involved with those bastards.

Sitting on his bed, he observed the cross-shaped marks in his arms. There wasn't a single sign of the abnormality of earlier. Was it because of his return? Had his Innocence been entering the first stages of turning into a Fallen?

But why him and none of those "Exiled"? Even the Moyashi's Innocence hadn't caused him any harm and not only had he left the Order, but he also carried a Noah inside him and was traveling with one. Certainly those were more aggravating facts that could make his Innocence turn against him?

Nothing of the sort had happened.

Now that he thought about it, in the end, he didn't know much of the transformation process and with this lack of knowledge, it wasn't easy to have definitive conclusions.

A tingle was born in his blood and nerves under the black marks and a shadow of idea ran through them until touching his mind, something made by a figure of image… His arm had been back to normal once he had met the General Tiedoll, however…

A low hiss vibrated in the empty room, breaking his focus.

It was the golem he had on his table.

"What now?" He mumbled as he picked it up. For an instant, there was just a buzz of static before it cleared up.

"Kanda?"

The voice whispered so low that, if he wasn't alone and surrounded by silence, Kanda wouldn't have heard it at all. He could only roll his eyes, this wasn't unexpected, which didn't stop it from being a risky action and, therefore, stupid.

"You dumb Moyashi, what if there was someone here?" It was the frequency Johnny had taught them to use so the Order wouldn't track them. Kanda couldn't claim to know exactly the workings of the golem, but he did remember Johnny showing what he had done and, as soon as he had returned, he had done the same. It was very good and useful, yes, but considering he was right in the Headquarters, the lack of sense was clear.

"I thought you would leave your golem turned off when you were with someone around before you could isolate yourself like always. And besides, it is dinner time…" Allen had guessed Kanda wouldn't have liked the idea of eating in the cafeteria with people bugging him, observing him from afar. And there were more chances that people would know better than to go bother Kanda, too.

Kanda mumbled a "tch", indicating Allen was right.

"Has he seen Krory or Miranda? Has he spoken to Komui or Lenalee?" With his heart weighting and throat closing, Allen still tried to not send the thought away.

"How it was… To go back?" He kept a neutral voice, sitting on the bed of the inn, legs down with Raz sitting on the other, watching and listening. Johnny was on the upper bunk bed, above her. Even after this long day, the shackles hadn't been broken no matter what they had tried on the train (which had included Samuel's spear and Raz's shadows).

It was almost admirable the durability of the Science Department's creations.

"It would be more admirable if I wasn't the one who has to deal with them!"

"How are the others?"

The question made Kanda roll his eyes. Yeah, he had been expecting this anyway, especially right at the beginning of the conversation and it was just the notion this had nothing to do with polite amenities that made him reply.

"I didn't talk with anyone yet, but it seems things are fine… For now, I had to put up with a discussion about my "promotion" to General…" He told with irony to which Allen chuckled a little, imagining his expression, probably of someone who had bitten something sour. He could also imagine some people referring to this as an honor and receiving one of Kanda's patented deadpanned stares.

Not that Kanda didn't have reasons for this… It wasn't fair he had to go back to a place he hated so much…

He was about to say something (what, he didn't know) when Raz leaned to the golem so the samurai would listen to her without her needing to raise her voice.

"Have you heard anything about us?"

Kanda didn't hesitate. In truth, he had heard fragments of what was being said about the Moyashi… He hadn't been surprised by any of it. Some sounded convinced that he had already joined the Noahs and this was why he hadn't been found. Others believed he had been a spy and this was why he had wanted to save the life of a Noah in the White Ark.

And those were the "nice" versions, he was sure.

He didn't care for rumors and, as such, hadn't asked about that. While they had been searching for the Moyashi, despite him not asking about and barely interested, Johnny had talked about what had happened after he had escaped with Alma… And had cried about it the first time he had got drunk enough to enter the "talking about regrets" state. Kanda had dragged him out of the bar, groaning to himself that if Johnny ever drunk to this point again, he would cut his arms off.

Regarding what he had heard, while Kanda wasn't surprised, he wasn't sure if he should tell the Moyashi this. Not because he cared, of course, it was just that he knew how overly sentimental the brat could be. Besides, the Noah girl had asked for facts, not pieces of senseless gossip.

"No, no one said a thing. Levelier threw his hints, but he has no proof and didn't touch the subject. So, no one has any idea of where the Moyashi is."

Sitting on the bed at the side of Allen's, Raz frowned and looked at him, both remembering General Klaud Nine. They had asked Johnny about it, but he had left the Order while she was on a mission and so, had no way of knowing anything. Regarding Kanda, there was not even what to ask, since he had just passed by the Order to recover Mugen and had not stayed for enough time to hear stories or news.

Now… That sounded weird. Why there was no one speaking of how Allen was traveling alongside a Noah or had interrogated Kanda about it? Surely Levelier would have been more direct in this matter…

Unless…

"But…"

"Hey, Dumb Moyashi," Kanda cut him with his usual growl. "I'm not on a mission, I'm right inside the damn Headquarters, so unless you have something important to say…"

"We're going to save Lavi and Bookman."

The next words from Kanda slowly died in his throat upon hearing this. It wasn't unlikely that the Moyashi would make a decision of this nature, but it didn't weaken the impact of the enunciation and the samurai held the bridge of his nose as he rubbed his eyes, recalling the hangover sensation he had been suffering the day he and Johnny had found the Moyashi and the Noah dancing as pierrots.

He had just been taken by a sensation that was too similar to his taste.

"Wonderful…" He thought with sarcasm.

"Do you want me to number all the problems of this idea in alphabetic order or to categorize them by steps?" He asked with sweet irony as he heard the other scoffing in impatience, though he could imagine that stupid smile of the Moyashi.

"The others agreed to go too. But we're not enough." To say they had "agreed" wasn't the best term as Lauren had been firm and neither of them had given him a chance to argue. Tired as he was of that day and aware that he would need help, Allen had made it clear that no one needed to take part in this and agreed they would discuss the matter in the following morning after he had spoken to Kanda.

Even now, Allen's exhaustion reached his bones. All he wanted to do was to tell Kanda what he needed, ask for the necessary help and, please, try to get some sleep.

If he managed to, now that he imagined what could be happening to Lavi…

The samurai frowned and sighed, aware of what was being truly said here.

It had to be a joke.

"Meaning, you hope I'll confirm around here who wouldn't attack you the moment they saw you so we can all happily skip after the stupid rabbit…" Kanda was quiet for some seconds to let the affirmation to take root and growled. "Have you completely lost your damn mind?"

"Who wouldn't tell on us." Allen corrected him, voice coming too fast. The idea even now was upsetting and he tried to avoid thinking about his friends… The people from the Order, looking at him with despise. He didn't saw Raz moving on her bed as if to make herself comfortable when she was actually thinking what they would say once they learned he was in the company of a Noah.

Taking a deep breath, Allen remembered Miranda, Lenalee, Krory, Komui and the others from the Science Department. No, he… He trusted them and if he needed evidence, all he had to do was remember how Johnny had told him, how they had wished luck in finding him…

But when he thought of that, his mind returned to the dungeons of the Order and the silence around him…

Kanda, on another hand, thought again about the few things he had heard and how he knew there were worse rumors going around regarding the white-haired boy.

It made him wonder if there was anyone there who still held on to what they had once thought of the Moyashi. Where before there had been praise and trust, now there was despise and even disgust… The remains of frozen ashes when the cold is strong enough to kill any fire.

"And who would accept this. Lavi is our friend, so is Bookman." The seriousness made his tone somewhat metallic. "We can't just leave them like this, Kanda."

Once more, his words just made the other's eyes roll with a sigh. Sure, of course he would rather have the involved knowing beforehand what they would be getting themselves into and so, have a choice in the matter or not, sure, touching, really touching, but sentimentalities wouldn't eliminate the issues, of which the organization of the group was the smallest.

"Kanda? C'mon, we can't do this alone…"

He was in silence. To go out of his way wasn't like him unless it was a responsibility and a duty. People needed to learn they couldn't always count on others to help them and if they got too used to lean on others, the result was negative to both: Who leaned and who offered support.

He thought again about what he had heard, about the Moyashi having been arrested.

"They can't do this alone, how would they?" Allen insisted. He didn't think Kanda would truly abandon someone, but this didn't give him the certainty he would go along with this plan. "You don't need to go, we just need…"

"Oh, shut up!"

Allen and Raz blinked as they exchanged looks. Johnny muffled a laugh and Allen ended up smiling too.

"You're chatty as hell and I already said it's best to just speak the necessary while I'm here, you dope." An unreadable sound that carried annoyance. "I'll get in contact again when I can."

Allen couldn't help feeling the tension leaving him.

"So, you're in?"

"That's what I said, stupid Moyashi."

The following noise was of interruption in the transmission. Allen looked to the other two and shrugged.

"And this, ladies and gentlemen, is Bakanda's way of saying he agrees…" He said in a solemn tone ruined by how a chuckle tried to escape in his words. Johnny's golem flew by and landed on the table between the beds.

When the lights were off, sleep took its time to arrive for all of them, regardless of how much the body longed for it, as if thoughts alone were enough to keep it at bay.

As much as he tried to relax, lying on his stomach due to the bruises on his back, Johnny couldn't help thinking about the events of that long day, which made the fear slither back to him, chasing away sleep with the sudden need to look around the room, to check every corner for the presence of the Earl… He opened his eyes, his sight blurred without his glasses, but it made no difference. He knew he would notice the Noah Patriarch should he be there.

He wasn't, of course. It was okay, they were safe for now.

Fear then whispered to him of the girl, lying on the lower bed.

He closed his eyes. Nonsense. He would not allow those impressions to resurface.

Johnny wanted to get used to her, to stop himself from the fear that still assaulted him when she was too close or when he looked at her. She was a friend, he could see it. If proof was necessary, he just needed to remember today, didn't he? She had just stood up against the Earl, had she not?

What other proof did he need?

Yet, he couldn't help remembering the Noahs laughing as Alma awakened, the white-haired Noah saying how they had no mercy for humans, the feeling of lines forcing him to move like a puppet and the Earl, softly telling Allen that he would stop everything if he just joined their side…

"But she is not like that, she is not…"

"She might not be like them or share their goals," The past seemed to whisper in his ear. "But she is a Noah. A monster who is on your side is still a monster."

Nonsense. He wouldn't… He wouldn't fall into the mindset of the Order. If he had left, he might as well start anew.

Johnny closed his eyes. When his mind tried to picture her at the Clan's side, he reminded himself of her at his side, trying to help, trying to protect him and Allen.

He couldn't know, but he wasn't the only one still awake. Cradled in darkness and silence, Allen still waited for sleep, tension taking its time to leave his muscles and his thoughts also refusing to give him to exhaustion. Slowly, he dragged his hand to underneath his pillow, moving until he found a small circle. In the darkness, it would be hard to see it, but his fingers felt the carved lines…

The Earl's button.

Maybe he had picked it up on a whim, dizzy with the vision, or maybe a part of him had recognized the design… Allen couldn't tell, but earlier, he had taken it out of his pocket and seen that the lines made the same symbol in the center of the Ark's musical sheet… And the same of the buttons of Mana's own coat.

How many times Allen had sat at his father's side and ran his finger over the lines, sometimes pressing them until they marked his skin a few seconds?

He knew Mana was involved with the Noah. It was a given, he was Neah's brother… But after finding out about the Fourteenth, Allen's first thought regarding Mana had been whether Mana had loved him or the Fourteenth… He had not really thought that Mana might have known the rest of the Clan… And now, it was that button, physical and presents, that somehow made it more real…

His hand tightened around the button.

He missed his father…

He always would.

And this thought was what gave way to a realization. When they had met the Earl that day, Allen had heard something more in his voice, in how he called to Neah and Raz… Among agitation and fear, Allen hadn't recognized at once what it was and maybe because he had never heard that emotion in the Earl's voice…

There had been an intense excitement and anxiety that edged the insanity. However, intertwined to all this like a thread hidden in a complex rug, what Allen had heard was a deep sorrow.

Something so deep that it came from an abyss where, whatever lurked in, was now unable to remember that something like light could even exist…

He thought about Raz.

Allen had no idea what she had thought of all this and her eyes had been a mirror that reflected nothing. But this meeting couldn't have been easy for her… Respecting her space, Allen had then decided to give her some time until she seemed willing to speak about it. As serenely as she behaved, Allen was sure that, no matter how much she wanted to learn about herself, she was scared.

Scared of the unknown that was herself.

He understood this feeling well.

He would have liked to do something for her, but for now, he could only try to find out about her he sought to learn about himself, Neah and Mana.

As the sleep started to wrap his mind and made the thoughts heavy, his last one was of what he had seen in Apocryphos' memories and what he had done to Suman Dark.

"Lenalee said I saved his soul." She had been wrong. To save someone's soul as they did with the akumas was one thing. To actually save them was another. All they could do was to set them free…

The actual salvation of a soul wasn't in the hands of anyone in this world.

But they could save people…

"Is it like this with all the Innocences, Crown Clown?" He wondered, aware there would be no answer.

He remembered his Innocence protecting him so many times.

Did that mean it loved him too? Even if he carried genes of a Noah?

XxX

Silver eyes opened in the darkness as two stars, gleaming for an instant before he sat up without making a sound.

"What a mess…" Neah thought to himself. "You've developed a true talent to go after trouble!" His friend had never been like this before. As much as Timcampy's records had shown him enough for him to understand Allen had changed quite a lot since the last time they had seen each other, this idea was still a little too much for him.

Standing from the bed, Neah walked to the chair where Allen's coat was and picked one of the pockets, holding the small transparent bag and watching the black fragments in it, feeling a tug in his heart.

"Timcampy…"

Cross had given him Timcampy years ago… He had created the golem himself and making the best use of his alchemy skills, which had always been impressive. Timcampy had been basically a living being, able to heal himself from most injures, of making decisions, and far more advanced those silly toys used by the Order…

"I'm sorry, my friend…" He muttered as he caressed the fragments through the plastic, not caring if Tim could no longer hear him. "I'm so sorry…" Allen had been crushed by the loss as well, his feelings strong enough for Neah to feel the echo.

Thinking about Apocryphos made him clench his fists.

And now Allen was going to try rescuing that redheaded friend of his. Neah sighed, he wasn't the owner of that body yet and couldn't truly stop him. At least he had been sensible enough to realize he and his friends didn't have enough military power to do by themselves…

It was almost no comfort. Nothing about this situation was appealing, from rescuing the redhaired brat and the old man to joining forces with people from that damn Order.

"And you know they may be in the Black Ark, Allen…" Some of the boy's thoughts were too deep in his mind to Neah feel them, but one had been as loud as a yell. "And you were really thinking about a way of reaching them, hm?"

Closing his eyes, Neah tried to feel some shape of his host's dreams, meeting a white barrier that wrapped the boy and sent away waves of reproach spiced with displeasure.

Crown Clown hadn't liked that at all.

"Annoying Innocence from Hell…" He swore, despite being somewhat amused by the display of protectiveness. "Hey, I just want to know what he dreams of nowadays…" The reply was an intensification of the barrier, which now had a cold threat to it.

"Geez, no sense of humor, huh?"

Neah turned, looked at the other bunk bed.

The man he had attacked was on top, apparently in deep sleep, a cocoon of covers leaving only the top of his head visible.

He looked at the bottom bed…

Raz was asleep.

Lying on her side, in a fetus-like position, her hair making a pool of black-blue ink over her back, shoulder and bed, mixed with the darkness around. He almost chuckled at this. It was as if nothing had changed at all when he looked at her like this…

This was the same position she used to sleep before.

"She really trusts you, Allen…" He reflected, not without some surprise as he remembered days lost in the past. Raziah had always been instinctively unable to fall asleep if she was too close to someone she didn't trust unless her body was too tired to avoid it. It wasn't something she had control over, it just happened…

Neah knew the reasons behind this.

Well, they all did…

He watched her, still surprised at her being here and with Allen. But then again, many things had been a shock once he had fully woken up.

Now the question was… What to do about it?

Neah reached his hand to her…

He briefly wondered what she would do if she woke up and saw him in control of Allen's body.

Someone might consider what she had told the man before, about how Allen was her brother, something dramatic and over-sentimental…

Neah knew better. Because he was a Noah. And because he knew her.

He knew how serious it was for a Noah, for Raziah, to say something like that.

Even when the Earl had found her after her awakening, it had taken her time to be at ease with them… He remembered those days, how she would…

Among thoughts of the past, Neah recalled the Timcampy's record of Allen finding her, sealed in the White Ark in a state that wasn't unlike comatose.

He let his hand rest on his side, still watching her sleep.

"Perhaps it would have been better if you had remained asleep, my friend…"

I remember the song. You used to sing to me. But now I stand here alone. Forgotten by all. Yet my heart beats still. In that old song. I'll stay here under the moon. Even if it takes forever. Just waiting for the time. When I can see you again. Even if it takes forever. I want to see you at least once more.

---

Ana: Things are heating up.

Lavi: So, can I get out of this Hell hole?

Ana: Who knows? Allen is certainly planning to do something, but... When do fights against the Noah go well?

Lavi: Don't remind me...

Road: Excuse me, do you mind telling me why I haven't appeared yet?

Sheryl: I must say, I would like an answer for this too.

Devit: Better yet! What about me and Jasdero?

Jasdero: Yeah, hiii!

Ana: ... Uh... Well, I have a lot of characters...

Road (sweet smile): And?

Ana: Well, I...

Road: I'm just starting to be a little impatient, you know?

Ana: ... Uh, any help here?

Mephiles: Like I said, things are heating up. And whatever Allen is planning, let's be honest, can we believe for a second that it will be easy?

Allen: And she says she likes us.

Ana: I do, but what's the fun in a story when things are always easy and simple?

Allen: Nothing here has been "easy and simple"!

Ana: My point!

Lavi: ... Are you sure you're not an Akuma?

Ana: Hey!

jy24: Actually, you know how I planned this whole thing during Hoshino's huge hiatus after the chapter Allen meets the Earl in that alley? Well, this was also before it was revealed that he is Mana and he and Neah were once a single being. So, what I mean is that, in this story I'm not following it. I would have to change everything to follow this, so... In here, Neah and Mana are really just brothers and the Earl isn't Mana. Sorry if you wanted to see this here...

Neah: Oh, well, I'm still Allen's uncle.

Allen: Sure, an uncle who is trying to possess me.

Neah: I love ya, nephew.

Ana: But on another hand, there is what I planned regarding the Earl, the whole deal with how Neah knew Allen thirty five years ago, where Apocryphos fits in this war...

Kanda: I'm just accepting being a General to be have a better access to some secrets of the Order, nothing more.

Allen: It... It hurt a lot. Timcampy has been with me since Cross took me in as apprentice... I never thought he could be destroyed like this...

Ana: Blame Apocryphos for this one.

Guys, thanks so much for following this story. I hope you guys have a wonderful Christmas!