Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray Man in any way, all credit goes to Katsura Hoshino.
Summary: Forced to leave the Order, Allen comes across a secret hidden in the depths of the Ark. Now, hunted by the Noah Clan and considered an enemy by the place he once called home, he has to search for the truth... The truth about Mana, Neah and himself. Where he came from and who he really is. Uncovering a web of illusions and doubts, Allen still moves forward as he promised to do... But what do you do in a war, when you feel like you don't belong to any side?
"The most painful state of being is remembering the future, particularly the one you'll never have." – Soren Kierkegaard
Act Twenty-Two – Broken Crystal
Miranda straightened the collar of her black and silver uniform, trying to keep a calm expression. Her reigns over the anxiety that had found birth in her during childhood had improved in the last months, yet she knew it would never truly set her free. Though people around her might be used to it, for some reason, she didn't want to let it overflow. It was too private. And if that wasn't enough reason, she felt it wouldn't be good if it was noticed. This could be taken as paranoia, but considering the surveillance of the last months and what she was truly about to do…
A new tension came to her, with the threat of being found out.
She couldn't deny that it was disturbing, actually. Nothing had caused such an effect in the Order, not even the first invasion in the previous Headquarters, during which a Noah had managed to infiltrate among them (and no one knew for how long, that was the worst of it) and they had first seen a Level Four. Even taking into account what had transpired with Alma Karma and the loss of the Thirds, there was something in this new… Atmosphere? Something that she didn't like at all.
It was too strong for her to find refuge in some excuse for it.
And when the woman thought about it, she couldn't truly determine when that had started… New schedules, firmer and stricter, reports that before could be given to Komui now had to be given in front of the other superiors… Small things here and there that had perfect justifications, that made sense and, when separated, didn't mean much. But when Miranda thought about everything, about all of them placed together…
"One thing here, one there, with a bit of time between them and no one realizes at once." She reflected vaguely, the attention of her mind fixating on another point.
She was going to see Allen.
If what Kanda had said was true (and he had no reason to lying) they were going to see Allen!
Just the idea sent a warm fire in her and the way she missed him became stronger. Curious, as if knowing she was finally going to see him again after months worrying and fearing the worst made now the longing of a whole life to burn in a moment alone.
"Ready?" Reever asked her, Noise Marie and Kanda, though his eyes were on her. Amazingly, Komui and Kanda's excuse had worked… After sending Lenalee and Krory in a mission, they had given another to Kanda's unit, sending them all together as quickly as possible under the pretext that the new General wanted to evaluate the performance of his "pupils".
Oh, they would take care of those missions in question, but just after a far more secret and important one: Rescuing Lavi and Bookman.
Once arriving at the city they were going to, instead of investigating what they were supposed to, Lenalee and Krory would take a train to where Kanda's unit was heading to. From then, they would go to where Allen was.
If someone who deserved a sincere answer asked him, Reever would say he was impressed that the whole thing seemed to be working. Considering it was Kanda and how he had spent months away, Reever would have expected a vehement denial and even more interrogatories.
"But if it is really working and they manage to help Lavi, isn't this what matters the most?" He wondered as he looked to Miranda. No. It wasn't just this what mattered... What mattered was also that they came back alive.
His mouth felt dry.
He had no idea of what the plan to rescue Lavi was, but he knew they would have to face the Noahs… Despite the fact that they were in a war against them, that he should be used to the idea, to think they were going to face them directly like that…
His legs moved by themselves, before the brain could truly send the command through the nerves and he approached Miranda, who gave him a gentle smile.
"Ready? Really?" He whispered leaning to her as Noise Marie and Kanda spoke with others in charge of the portals and agents. Kanda seemed impatient and, though that was his usual expression, Reever would bet everything how he was really annoyed by the mere presence of the special agents.
"Yes, I am. At least I think I am…" The woman added quietly. Reever realized it wasn't just his mouth that was dry, his entire body felt like it and as much as the truth of it all filled him and buried the wish, it still existed: The wish that Miranda didn't have to go.
It wasn't that he wanted any of them to go, even after years in the Order, there was always a worry when one of them left for a mission. It didn't matter if it was something that could be deemed as "simple" as recovering an Innocence, it could still end up with the person coming back in a coffin (if there was something left to bury) and no one could ever get used to this.
"Please, be careful, okay?" He whispered, trying to hold the urgency that fought to come to his voice and focusing on the present. There was no time to dissect what happened to him, to help him understand. It wasn't as if Miranda was going alone.
As if reading his thoughts, she said.
"I'll be fine. The others are coming too." She didn't refer just to the unit she was in, but also to Lenalee and the others with whom they would meet soon. For an instant, she almost touched Reever's face, in a gesture that might calm him, but she stopped herself. "Kanda and Marie will be there…"
And it wasn't as if she was helpless either, Reever knew it, but the only thing he could think of now were the scars on her hands, hidden now by the uniform's gloves.
"I know, but…" He hesitated, because there weren't words to follow those, no way to finish the phrase, so a gesture of head had to work before he let go and walked away as Miranda gave a smile of "goodbye" before going to join Kanda and Marie.
She looked back and waved briefly before disappearing in the complete whiteness of the portal and even if this could be seen just as a "see you later" to all the presents, it was to Reever she had been looking at as if still wanting to calm him.
For the first time in long, Reever caught himself truly praying and wishing that whatever God was up there, was listening to him.
"Let her come back safely. Let her come back alive and well…"
Because, of all moments, it was now that Reever realized he wouldn't know what to do if he could no longer look in the brown eyes of Miranda Lotto again.
XxX
Trips could always be exciting. Be it due to going to a new place, be it for being among friends or meeting with someone. And though those elements were usually still present in their missions (and some enjoyment could be taken from those travels), it was impossible to forget what they were meant to be and their objective. This time, however, an unpleasant feeling seemed to be stronger than usual, tension taking hold of her veins and playing with them.
"Calm down, Miranda, it will all work out." Lenalee smiled, crossing her legs. The girl's body seemed to contain more energy than what it could contain, making her frequently move in her seat.
They would see Allen! They would finally see Allen again!
She couldn't stop thinking about it.
They had met soon, despite the whole thing taking hours: Upon arriving in the cities of their missions, they had walked around a little as a precaution and then left to the train station, all the time paying attention for possible for agents around (Kanda had been absolute in this point: Either they took maximum caution or they could stay back). It had taken a certain time. Komui had done his best to pick cities that were closest to each other, but that didn't mean they were just a skip and jump away from each other.
After waiting for the other unit, that was when they had left for wherever Allen was currently staying. Through the window, they could see the sun starting to hide behind the trees, the last rays going as arrows over them while pulling a mantle that went from golden to dark blue, carrying with it the first stars.
"I can't…" The older woman muttered, shaking her head slowly and leaning her forehead in one of her hands, excitement weakened by a heavy feeling. The uniforms had been taken off in the station's restroom, replaced by normal clothes that had been hidden in their bags, so no one would recognize the Order's symbol. Krory had registered there was something a little strange in being in a mission and not wearing the uniforms. They were too used to this.
Kanda and Marie were in a separate compartment. Lenalee imagined how they would be. Actually, she would have liked if Kanda had talked more about his meeting with Allen and how he was, but the samurai had limited himself to basic info and this only after he had been sure there was no risk that anyone there would speak of what they shouldn't around.
"Allen is not alone, that's good!" She tried, both for Miranda and herself. As good as it was, a part of Lenalee couldn't help the natural discomfort of thinking that one of the people he was with was a… A Noah. Not that she doubted Allen's judgment, of course, and Kanda also had given that the girl had been with Allen for months now, so she meant no harm… Yet…
It was a disturbing thought.
Lenalee thought about the Noahs she knew, battles they had had… All those years fighting akumas, knowing they were created by the Millennium Earl… That a friend now was traveling with a member of that Clan made her muscles shiver with spasms.
Miranda just shook her head. Caught in his own thoughts about it, Krory said nothing. Lenalee kept a sigh to herself, aware of what they were probably thinking. A little voice coming from the depths of her mind whispered that Johnny had left, he had somehow done what they hadn't: Stayed at Allen's side.
"But we couldn't have done anything! Johnny could leave, we couldn't. And those people with him, they met him after us, after the deal with the Fourteenth, even after he… After he went away from the Order. Even so, he is still an Exorcist. He said so. He is!" There were no doubts in her about it and she tried to suffocate the sensation with an attempt at a conversation.
"What matters is that we're going to see him and he is fine! That's the most important of all." She wasn't going to let the happiness of meeting him again be poisoned, not after nights wondering how he was. The girl realized she had started to play with her hands and something bitterly cold was crawling in her heart. Immediately she continued to talk as if by doing so, she could push that away from herself. "And Allen hasn't been consumed by the Fourteenth, he is fighting. I was afraid, all this time without news…"
"That's the problem…" Miranda muttered, her eyes still lost in the sunset. Lenalee became quiet when the woman looked at her, eyes marked by some emotion… Used to Miranda's insecurity, Lenalee at first thought it was something of this nature to soon realize what she was seeing was shame.
She glanced at her side. Krory had his eyes fixed in the seat ahead, not saying anything to what Miranda had just heard.
Miranda sighed.
"How will I even look at him?"
Lenalee felt her mouth go dry in a second, tongue a mass of useless flesh, but she shook her head without looking away. Brief scenes of her last meeting with him jumped in her mind like fishes before disappearing, his smile, how she had begged him to stay, Allen then saying he would always be an Exorcist…
"Miranda… You know Allen. He… He is Allen." It was as if there was no better way of describing him than simple by his name and aware of her poor attempt, she almost smiled, though the attempt felt weak on her muscles. "He knows we couldn't have done anything, not with Levelier stopping us as he did. I won't say we were right, but…"
But the woman still shook her head, indicating that those words didn't make her feel any better. Perhaps this wasn't even the main reason behind Miranda's eyes. Krory looked at her and then at Lenalee again. Usually, he would be glad to engage in a conversation and a part of him did share Lenalee's enthusiasm for seeing Allen again, but now that the time had come, he found the worry and discomfort from the past months gathering to reach a critical mass.
He could understand what Miranda was saying.
"Lenalee…" The whisper was low and gentle, but there was no alteration in her expression. "That's the point. I…"
Miranda sighed, shaking her head slowly, the few strands of hair free from the ponytail waving as she tried to force her feelings in the limiting shape of words.
"We didn't try. Levelier just told us we were forbidden to see him and we accepted it. We didn't do so much as protest against it, actually. We didn't try to see him by force. We didn't try anything."
"But there was nothing we could have done! Levelier placed guards, surveillance, there was no way how…"
"No, but we just accepted it anyway." Krory said in a quiet voice aside, his attention turning back to Lenalee, who just looked back at him. "Yes, we wouldn't have been able to do anything, but we just… Kept our heads down, like dogs and that was it… We sat there and just felt sorry for what was happening, nothing else. And in this lies our abandonment."
"Our sin…" A voice whispered in Miranda's mind and while one could consider it a dramatic way to place things, it wasn't what she felt. Because abandoning a friend like they had done, in her opinion, was cruel enough to be classified as such. Shame and guilt mated in her and knowing that Allen, being Allen, would just smile and say that it was alright… This only made her feel worse.
Even if she apologized, this fact wouldn't ever be erased.
"I want to see him very much, Lenalee, and I'm so, so happy that he is fine, but… After what I did…"
Once again, Miranda's eyes went to Lenalee.
"How will I look at him?"
XxX
"Allen, is this really a good idea?"
"Look, I trust you, it is them I'm worried about."
Allen's attention was divided between Elana and Lauren and watching the train rails, waiting for the noise that would arrive first, of wheels turning on the metal, announcing the train before it came into view. While he was standing, Lauren and Elana were sitting on a bench behind him with Johnny.
"I'm sure things will work out!" He tried to sound confident, though he couldn't shake the weight he felt. "And I doubt Kanda would have agreed and told them, if they weren't trustworthy." Personally speaking, he still trusted them, he did, but Allen wasn't sure this would be a strong enough justification. Kanda had been back there and spoken to them, so he would know more.
"Four months… One hundred and fifty-three days. It's much time. Time enough to change things…"
Elana seemed about to disagree, but she sighed and limited herself to stand at his side near the edge, not looking at the trails' direction as they disappeared in the night, but to the roof, ignoring how nothing indicated that there was something there.
The agreement had been that, at any sign of an agent from the Central or any sort of troubles, Raz, Alison and Samuel would attack from there, having the surprise element at their favor.
Out of respect and the trust she had for Allen, Elana decided to not confront him about it… If they truly were to go on a rescue (especially under such circumstances), they needed more power. While saving those two was the right thing to do, and this was reason enough, Elana knew that when it came down to getting in contact with people from the Order, then some of them had just agreed to it because of Allen and that alone, regardless of how sensible or necessary it was.
But this didn't mean any of them felt comfortable with exposing themselves like that.
"There too many people coming to know about us lately…" Alison had complained and Elana had to agree, with a bitterness that she didn't usually felt. Samuel had shared the feeling when they were coming to the station and before walking away to climb to the roof, he had held her hand, kissing her fingers as he always did, telling Elana they would be ready for everything.
Recalling his touch calmed her a little. Now the time had come, she found couldn't bring herself to like that situation, no matter how necessary it was.
Johnny Gil remained sitting at Lauren's side, looking unsure of what to say or how to act… Even Lauren didn't seem happy to meet those Exorcists, no matter how Allen had tried to tell they were nice and trustworthy friends.
Though he smiled, Allen felt the whisper of doubts in him, regardless of his own wishes. He couldn't stop thinking of less than pleasant scenarios of meeting the others again… He missed them, of course, and he knew he could trust Kanda to not bring anyone that could (would) denounce them…
And it hurt to think that any of his friends from the Order could have ended up believing he was a traitor.
And… What if someone wasn't there because Kanda had found out they didn't believe him? And the ones that came along, how would they react upon seeing him?
And why, even if he believed they wouldn't denounce him or the others (for any reason), something deep in him still felt so heavy?
Allen tried to approach the obvious reasons and justify them, to no avail. Something kept pulling his heart down, some gray mass spreading and leaving him numb. There had been times when Allen had missed them so much that he had imagined seeing them again, had imagined his happiness, that they would hug as if those months hadn't been more than a second… He had wanted to believe that, when the time came, that was how they would meet again…
Now… Now, part of him was almost afraid.
"Nonsense, this doesn't matter. You'll see them again!" Yes, and he hadn't stopped missing them during all this time and he was excited, so much he didn't think he would be able to explain it. The train would be here at any moment and he suffered the delicious torture of one expecting friends on the way!
That little seed and that growing gray mass, however, were still in him, refusing to be suffocated.
"Damn, I… I have no reason to feel like this!" And he didn't want to go deep into analyzing that emotion, no matter if his mind made up sketches that had no defined enough shape to be understood, they had enough strength to cause that effect.
His attention was dragged outside his mind to the undeniable sound of something big running over trails and the boy stretched himself, the anxiety forcing his body to move without command.
This wasn't quite very shared by the others except for Johnny. Elana and Lauren just looked at each other and the blonde once more looked in the roof's direction, seeing a shadow darker than the night detaching itself in an almost oily-like movement, just enough for Elana to be sure that there was something there, watching.
She knew she had been able to see because she knew it was there.
Allen walked back to the bench, thinking about taking a seat, but soon changed his mind. There would be no comfort in standing or sitting down anyway.
He studied the sea of people that bled from the train, waiting. Kanda would be with the group and they had agreed to meet in that small area of the platform under the stars, where other people also waited. He needed to tell himself to not look for the Order's uniforms, surprising himself upon realizing how much the association was rooted in his mind, understanding now more than before how something like this had helped him and the other Exiled to keep low for so long.
Little by little, it was possible to notice something going against the current of passengers, a drop of oil among the waters that came to where he was and, risking a look, he saw Elana was rigid, almost like a statue. The face of Lauren had gone from brown to gray-like and she showed nothing related to calmness or her usual cheerfulness. Johnny seemed tense, but Allen judged it was more due to the situation as a whole.
Among the crowd, figures started to detach themselves. Black hair with a long white strand, dark brown hair, and black with a stone-green like reflex under the light…
And in front of him were Miranda Lotto, Alistar Krory, Lenalee Lee, and Noise Marie, with Kanda nearby glancing around with hawk eyes, or just not up to watch the reunion ahead.
During all days of those months, Allen had thought a lot in what he could/wanted to say to each of them if they met again. However now, all words had died and he couldn't remember any of them, let alone force himself to say them…
The others seemed to be in the same state, for they could just look at him.
Krory opened and closed his mouth as if he couldn't decide if he wanted to say something or not. Lenalee gave a tentatively step towards Allen, trying to smile…
No one made a move.
"Hi, guys…" Allen needed to break the silence, no matter if it was with just a whisper as he looked at them all. Lenalee's hair was longer… Krory looked somewhat taller or was his impression?
The words were getting caught in his throat.
What could he say to them?
A new thought came: Was there something he wanted to say?
Krory made a sound as someone swallowing a word or laughter. Taking all into account, a "Hi, guys" wasn't at all up to the circumstances. Not that any other greeting would have sounded much better and he knew it. Why was it so hard? It shouldn't be like this. He wanted to say something, but his mouth tasted of ashes.
None of them paid attention to the roof or to the two girls behind Allen, caught in seeing their friend as they were. Allen had a good appearance, for a runaway of a great organization… A little skinner, his hair had grown, reaching a little under his shoulders, but looked rather healthy and without visible injures…
"Allen…" Lenalee started. Suddenly, everything fell back to that night in which Allen had left. A part of her mind kept going back to what would have happened if he had stayed like she had asked and the idea followed a path that, for some reason, her mind refused to fully see.
"It's good to see you all again!" Allen tried again, his muscles forming a smile. It was similar to the many smiles Miranda had seen from him, after learning he was a host of a Noah… Lenalee approached, meaning to hug him and say how much she had missed him, but her bones were iron and her muscles were as useless as when Road had paralyzed her as her new doll.
"Allen… Allen, you…" Krory started, words getting tangled. "You're still…" Still what? Smiling as if there was nothing wrong? Getting into trouble? The vampire gave a weak chuckle with no humor. "You."
Like Lenalee had said… Allen was Allen.
Elana and Lauren looked at each other once again and found themselves exchanging looks with Johnny, who also saw the same as they… That interaction was more like people forced to meet each other, almost like a bad play than a true meeting of friends.
"It shouldn't be like this…" The thought was ridiculous. How many things really were how they were supposed to be lately? Johnny remembered how he had felt when seeing Kanda and Allen arguing due to the shackles. That had felt light and nostalgic, had a feeling of home… Nothing like this.
"It's good to see you again…" Marie muttered with a nod. He wasn't truly close of Allen like the others and somehow his voice sounded more natural, less tense. Behind Allen was Johnny, he could hear and sense his heartbeat. Along with him were two unknown female heartbeats…
Wait…
That woman…
"Verenaris…" He said slowly, calling the blonde's attention. Kanda, who had been more concentrated in watching around for suspicious people, looked from him to the woman with a frown (hard to say if it was for annoyance, curiosity or if he didn't even really care).
Elana gazed at him for a moment before nodding at him, the gesture being out of habit, but without approaching or giving any positive response. On another hand, this was something in itself.
"Marie…" She greeted with a controlled tone and, unable to ignore her manners, tried to at least say something more. "It… It's pleasant to see you." The words left a bitter taste in her mouth, sounding too hypocrite once, while they had never had troubles when she was in the Order, they hadn't been part of the same units and hadn't been close enough to consider each other "friends".
"You too…" The man replied. It wasn't that easy to just greet someone you had believed to be dead for years. He couldn't help but pick up the signs that indicated the difference between the present and his memories. The complex melody of her heart was calm and controlled, but there was a wave underneath that doctors wouldn't pick up. Same with her voice. There was a sub-tone there, that came from dull wounds, from pain carried over the years.
He also could feel that she wasn't at all happy.
Elana just made a sound of acceptance, knowing that Marie, better than any of the presents, would not be fooled by whatever veil she took, be of politeness or calmness. Even if she wanted to believe that neither of those people would say anything later, the discomfort wouldn't go away. And she didn't try to get rid of it, either.
"We missed you so much!" Miranda's eyes were on Allen as if she wanted to confirm several times that he was fine and okay. The words still sounded weak, but the sincerity was there.
"And I missed you guys!" He replied, some excitement finding its way to his voice. "So much has happened, I…" He hesitated, words made useless, not enough to express anything. Everything he had felt in the last months became a mass, as if he were forced to relive everything in a second.
"Yeah, yeah, we can have this talk later!" Kanda growled, finally losing his patience and going over to the group. "We're all fine, right, beautiful, let's go!" It didn't please him to stay in an open field like this right now, no matter how sure he was that there were no Crows around. Which should make him relieved, actually bothered him.
Could it be that Levelier had truly believed all those lies they had thrown at him?
Allen couldn't help laughing at this, starting to feel a lighter sensation now.
"Hey…" He muttered quietly. "Uh… How is everyone at the Order?"
XxX
Lurking like panthers, Samuel, Alison and Raz crossed the roof, climbing down slowly with some help from Raz's shadows, which created small protuberances to help as they went down in a dark alley, out of people's sight.
Once in the street, they still kept their distances, not wanting to reveal themselves yet, preferring to keep watching for a while longer. Allen had been sure about those people, reminding them that Kanda wouldn't allow anyone to come who wasn't trustworthy, but even he had agreed that they shouldn't ignore whatever safety measure they could take.
If it wasn't for the sheer need of extra strength, Alison would have refused to get in contact with those people at all.
So, the three of them followed from a certain distance, across the street, their attention not leaving the Exorcists. No signal of violence until now and the only reaction to Elana and Lauren had been that the shorter-haired girl seemed to have heard their names and the bald tall man had greeted Elana…
Fine, then.
Alison wasn't surprised by the lack of recognition. The Order was huge and most of the… Exorcists, were always out in missions and not all of them used to stay in the main headquarters. She had been one of those, for example.
From the Exorcists that were with Allen, she knew Noise Marie from sight... Not that they had ever spoken. She could barely remember him, to be honest. The shorter girl could only be Lenalee Lee (she had a brother at the Order too, if Alison wasn't mistaken) and the other two could only be Miranda Lotto and Alistar Krory.
That was the group that had remained after the slaughter.
"Siriel… Tina…" She caught herself thinking about them. Siriel Volkaren had been in Yeegar's unit with her and Tina Spark had been in Klaud's unit.
Alison had known them well. They had been her friends and she had missed them terribly when she had left. To know they were both dead… Siriel's eyes, so blue, came to her mind as his soft manners and Alison could remember Tina's little jokes and the smile that always made her look younger…
Now they were gone…
"Free. More than us…" The thought came without control, but she ignored it, for now, placing her attention in a line leading to that new group, searching for any signal that there was someone else around…
Until now, nothing out of place.
Could they be trusted?
"Maybe they are just waiting until we reach an empty place or something like that…" Somehow it seemed that the man of black-and-white hair had noticed her presence. There were times his dark eyes crossed the street and stopped in her direction…
How?
As it was, he seemed to be paying more importance to Allen than whether or not they were being watched by her and Raz and Samuel. Perhaps he had deduced (or knew) who they were, which would explain the lack of care. Kanda, on another hand, looked as annoyed as always yet Alison knew he was equally attentive to their surroundings.
"Do you think we can really trust them?" Due to the deepness of his voice, Samuel's whisper sounded more like the purring of a tiger. His waved enough, almost resembling a dreadlock style, fell over his shoulders, the curls like shining snakes.
Raz shook her head slowly to show she didn't know. Allen clearly trusted them and, while their meeting had been tense, it hadn't been out of any sense of danger.
The girl with straight hair falling over her shoulders was telling Allen something, apparently something good. The tall man with dark skin said something with a gesture of his head. His voice was too low for Raz to hear from across the street, but he seemed to be confirming what was being said. Maybe they were talking about people who still believed in Allen in the Order. Whatever it was, his reaction was positive.
Raz soon realized she would rather look at the street than at that.
Ridiculous, why? Allen was meeting the people he liked and who he had told her about… She should be happy for him.
Only that any positive feeling was chained by something dark and heavy, making it too weak to matter. For an instant, an instant filled by insanity, she wanted to leave, to run to an alley and stay there, still and quiet and hidden.
"Why? There is no reason for me to feel like this…"
"They are together. They are the same. You aren't." A voice whispered in her mind, coming from the deep corner where the bad thoughts are. That was true, they were all Innocence Accommodators and she was a Noah. A black piece among the white ones in a chessboard.
That girl might be Lenalee, the one who had a brother in the Order…
That other voice, more physical and firmer than one born from thoughts, of the Noah called Wisely (and God, there had been such familiarity in that telepathy) calling them "little siblings" had been teasing, but it had also carried something genuine…
She had heard that the Clan of Noah was also called the Noah Family, however, some concepts are too great for the words used to refer to them. And there were concepts in here that her being had no capacity to process.
She didn't remember anything related to the Noahs or this war, but at that moment, something in her stirred, calling her attention back to that hollowness she felt from time to time, which moved as if in search of her past, which so often seemed inexistent.
And under her skin, the Noah felt cold…
What was that? This wish to be filled, to find something she didn't know what was?
She couldn't look at the group. That made her ill, it hurt her eyes.
She was a black piece among white ones.
Right now, she didn't want to be there.
XxX
To meet the group personally didn't bring much relief for any of the Exiled. They had chosen that city after finding an abandoned house in the woods. Its story was of little matter (permeated with the rumors of ghosts that came with all abandoned places in reality), it was the localization that had made them decide to use it for the time being. Except for some squirrels and two or three rats that they had chased away, there was no signal of life there.
It wasn't the absolute ideal, but it would be far too risky if they stayed all in the same inn, no matter the size, and especially because they didn't know what could happen during the rescue. When dealing with so many variables and possibilities, it would be better if they at least had a place for themselves.
Up until now, none of those new people had shown anything that confirmed their negative suspicions, but it was still hard to feel in peace after but a few minutes.
"And they are Alison Rouwen, Samuel Kallen and Raz." Allen introduced them as Kanda finally typed the code given by Reever and the shackles around Allen and Johnny's wrist hissed in a low tone as they opened. Both men sighed in relief to this while Kanda mumbled how he wanted to reduce those things to dust (which he would probably do as soon as he had the time).
With the introductions, Allen now just hoped the sensation of sterile air would fade with time.
The three of them and the Exorcists exchanged uneasy greetings, shaking hands.
"Pleasure to meet you." Miranda smiled when holding Samuel's hand and turning to the green-eyed girl at his side, who accepted the gesture politely, though she didn't smile back. The other, however…
Her appearance was human, almost normal.
It was just her appearance…
Against any control, remembrances got free violently and attacked her mind. That girl, Road… It had been the first contact she had had with what would become her world, the akumas, Innocence…
Road laughing, almost as a child on Christmas morning, the sound laced by cruelty. The burning pain in her hands that didn't cease, flesh and muscles pierced and she had been lucky to not completely lose her hands' movement. Lenalee sitting still as a corpse untouched by decomposition, wearing a fancy dress as the other girl combed her hair commenting how she would keep Lenalee as her new doll. Road nestling herself against Allen to prove she wasn't a machine before she took a candle and stabbed his eye…
"N-Nice to meet you…" Miranda managed to keep her voice firm enough, trying to ignore the sudden cold. The girl tilted her head to the side briefly. Her eyes had a quality that Miranda had never seen before and for a moment, for her, they weren't eyes that belonged to anything that resembled a human. The Noah took her hand. The woman's instinctual self screamed, the same way it would if a tarantula or any other dangerous animal had suddenly climbed her hand and she was relieved when the contact came to an end. Lenalee tried to keep a polite smile as well but found she couldn't look at the girl for long, not without the past becoming alive in her again.
"Nonsense, she is with Allen. So, there is no reason to be afraid of her…" Lenalee tried to tell herself, with little success. That human's aspect was normal, harmless, but knowing what lurked underneath was of no help, no matter how much she tried to think she should be harmless, that it was good that Allen had had someone with him.
"She is still a Noah." There was no avoiding the thought and she decided to pay more attention to the other people.
"Maybe we should just get inside already. Some rooms here are good enough to be used. Then we can talk…" Lauren said quickly, hating the atmosphere around and just wanting to do something about the awkwardness, giving her back to everyone without waiting for answers as she opened the old door, which let out a long groan.
They didn't know for how long the house had been unoccupied, but it was clear it had seen better days. Hidden in the woods, perhaps it had boasted a front garden someday, but it had long since grown wild and there were no hints to its previous existence. At night, it was easy to see why the building would be the scenario of dark stories. While the house had a good size, it wasn't enough to be properly called a "mansion". This changed at this hour, when the structure seemed to grow in the shadows, the plants that had taken the porch becoming sleeping creatures.
Even with many windows being broken, the air held on to an old quality, laced with the smell of wood and leaves that had got in and rotted there… Everything around bore the marks of time and layers of dust, the real colors faded and the furniture made into sarcophaguses, regardless if Lauren and the others had spent the last two days trying to make the place at least somewhat bearable.
The oval hall received them, a little moonlight coming from the windows, in brighter rays when through the broken parts. At each side, the paths to the rest of the house seemed to swallow whatever light ventured there. Right ahead, at the end of the hall, small steps went down towards a small door while two staircases on each side led to the second floor, ending on in a small corridor that oversaw the hall.
As they went up, the steps groaned in protest. Out of habit, Miranda placed her hand on the wall at some point and broke contact almost at once. It was still strong enough for her to feel it wouldn't fall apart, but it didn't make the touch pleasant.
"Are you all sure no one comes here?" Kanda asked with a groan, despite being sure they hadn't been followed by anyone (which made him conclude Link hadn't managed to follow the Moyashi since that city they had found him in, not with all that mess that had happened), all preventive measures should be considered.
Someone who didn't know the Order could consider this an exaggeration that edged paranoia, but Kanda knew well what they were able to do and how they could behave.
Personally speaking, he would have preferred the life of an Exiled to the one of an Exorcist.
At the same time, if being a General gave him the chance to denounce what the Order truly did, then he would. Tiedoll had been right in saying he hated the Order, he just didn't know how deep it was.
"Look around, Kanda. No one would want to come here." Elana muttered. Except for some bored teenagers perhaps, in which case, they could ask Raz to scare them away with her shadows. People would just take that as a confirmation for all the stories about the house being haunted and, if they were lucky enough, they wouldn't be around for enough time for the Order to hear about this anyway.
Despite having rubbed a piece of cloth in the railway (funny how people were, they could take sleeping on the streets and the wild, see people turning into black corpses that would break into dust, but none of them could stand an environment like that without trying to do something about it), the touch was still strangely harsh, as rubbing your hand in dead skin.
As it had been since they had found the house, she went up with no support, internally thanking that the steps were still firm enough.
"And… How did you find this house?" Krory tried to start a kind of conversation as they followed to the second floor. He and the Exorcists didn't carry more than normal, a small bag with some first aid items and the change of clothes they had hidden.
"It was more by chance…" Samuel told simply. They wouldn't be able to do anything if they didn't at least try a little regarding those people. It didn't imply they had to be friends, yet the man attempted to smile.
"We decided to explore the city, since a hotel would be too risky. We heard some boys trying to scare each other, talking about a haunted house, and we ended up finding this. We don't know who used to live here." Allen shrugged. It didn't make much of a difference, anyway. "But I don't think there will be people knocking on the door, that's what matters."
XxX
"Those are the rooms in the best shape. At least they can be used…" Allen went on as he opened one of the doors. The bed was just a skeleton of wood with a smaller mattress than expected. The boy wouldn't share this detail, but the mattress they had found here had not only been torn apart but it had an unpleasant smell, enough so they knew there were chances some animal made its nest there and died.
They had taken the thing and thrown it on the lower floor, leaving it in a corner. There was no reason to restore the whole place (as if they could), but the least of cleaning was necessary. The other mattress they had put in its place wasn't in a better state, but at least didn't smell so bad and one still could try to sleep on it (Elana had pointed out it would still better to take some precautions, depending on what happened. The last thing a wounded person needed was to take the chance of getting an infection or germs).
"It isn't much, but it's just for a while." He went on, aware he was just babbling. He wanted to stop and he wanted to continue. The silence would be better and worse. Part of his mind tried to find words, the right words, and there was nothing. "And we have some food too, so we could eat as we talk and…"
"Allen…" Marie called him as he took off the gray coat he had been wearing. "It's an abandoned house, we heard it. We weren't expecting a five-star hotel, alright?"
The boy chuckled, scratching the back of his head. The sound was weak and soon devoured by the insistent silence. Whatever was in his throat didn't seem to want to move and it suffocated him.
Raz, along with the other Exiled, had walked away. Allen knew they weren't far from the room, just enough to give them all privacy and he was grateful for this. They were his friends, too, but Allen had missed Lenalee, Miranda, Krory… All of them.
But now, after months, he had no words…
And suddenly, he wanted to leave.
"I really missed you guys…" He tried again, bothered by how cliché it sounded and wishing he had better words and terms, that he would feel comfortable with the idea of hugging them as he would have done before and… And…
Something in him stopped this. Seeing them again had made him happy, yes, but there was a kind of sadness too. He had admitted its existence before, but it had not left. Only now Allen realized how intertwined it was with the longing.
Before, they had been one thing.
Now, he had to face them separately.
It couldn't be ignored, it couldn't be buried.
"You're alright, aren't you? You didn't have any problems?" The subject was unpleasant and necessary at the same time. They hadn't been interrogated too much or classified as suspects or something, right? Right?
"Allen…" Miranda was the one who called him this time, her soft tone having a hidden quality that made him unsure of what to say. The white-haired man observed the woman playing with her hands before she walked to him, clearly wanting to say that and not knowing how to begin.
"Miranda?" Allen felt a new tension that had nothing to do with what he felt on a personal level. Had something happened? Something bad, he didn't know about?
The woman looked at him.
"We're sorry."
He blinked, for a moment it had been as if she had spoken in a foreigner language.
"Wait…" He looked at the others. Lenalee had her eyes on the floor, playing with the hem of her shirt. Krory had never looked this serious unless his Innocence was activated, freeing that more ferocious side of his personality. Marie seemed upset. Kanda, on another hand, watched it all with cold eyes.
"But I'm fine, everything's…"
"Please." Miranda raised her hand in a request for silence, a slow gesture, even delicate and her eyes never left his.
"I… We haven't been good friends to you…" This time it was Krory who spoke, in a similar tone. The thing inside Allen pulsated and he replied.
"Levelier stopped you from seeing me, I know, so…" Strange. The words felt fragile, yet sharp enough to cut the flesh of his mouth.
"It doesn't matter. In the end, we weren't there for you…" Miranda insisted in a voice that Allen had never heard before and something in her eyes made her look older. "Levelier forbade us, yes, but we just… Stood there. We felt bad about it, but we still didn't do anything about it."
Allen wanted to say that he understood, that there had been fear and that they certainly would have done something if they could… But he found that he couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to say that. Suddenly, the strength left his body.
"We believed you." Lenalee hurried to say, approaching him. "We never stopped believing you…" She didn't know what else to say, something in her yelled that this wasn't enough, as if there was something in here that she could feel but not see.
"I'm thankful for this, I…" It wasn't a lie and Allen meant to say that it was enough… Yet, he recalled the night he had told Raz the truth and how everything he had had to process into words had turned more real and solid, words then becoming useless sounds, and that ball of sharp glass inside him had reached a point when he had just… Cried.
"Why didn't they just trust me?"
He knew this thought wasn't directed at Miranda, Lenalee or any of them.
He understood why they had acted the way they had.
But the thought persisted all the same.
"You were always there for us, Allen…" The words from Krory pulled his focus back to the room he was standing in. "But when the time came for us to be at your side, we weren't. Or even tried to. Maybe we wouldn't have been able to," He added when Allen seemed to be able to protest again. "But it doesn't matter, friends don't act like this."
Marie didn't say anything, however even if he hadn't been close to Allen like the others, he had thought that it wasn't fair of the Order to lock him up as they had done. Some had been speaking about executing him, not caring if Allen had still tried to stay after his state as a Noah's host had come into light.
"I'm sorry…" Krory said. "I'm so sorry, Allen…"
"We all are…" Miranda's voice shook for the first time, though the woman refused to cry. She wasn't apologizing to make a show of how her regret was huge (it was), but because she wanted Allen to know she was aware of what she had done and that she didn't want to repeat that mistake ever again. This wouldn't solve the situation or change the course of things, Miranda knew it, but…
"Apologies… Just words. What good are they for?"
"Can you forgive us?" Lenalee whispered.
Allen could just look from one to another. Even if there had been some… Anger, for the Order, it had been buried under too much hurt and soon faded, but when it had existed, nothing of it had been directed to any of the people present. Up until now, he had just missed them and hoped they still believed in him…
And they did, so why… Why now, he…
"Oh," A little mocking voice sounded in his mind. "But have you forgotten those moments? Hour after hour in that place, until you didn't know what time was it or if those people were bringing you lunch or dinner?"
His friends hadn't done this and there was nothing they could have done to stop it.
"Who are you telling this to?"
Even if the Order had had reasons, he had already admitted that this had made him feel betrayed, but his friends… His friends…
Fighting against exhaustion to stay awake, afraid and fighting, not knowing how, to keep his existence, fearing what could happen at any second, scared of himself and unable to escape, drowning in the silence… As much as he knew they couldn't come, there had been moments when he had wanted, needed them…
They wouldn't have been able to do anything! Even if they had tried, so what?
"But you were sad, weren't you? You were left alone, weren't you?"
"I… I was…" His eyes at some point had turned to the ground and the memory had taken less than a second. He had… He had dared to hope to hear their voices on the other side of that door, that alone would've been enough, a single voice, a single scream to let him know they were still there, that they were right on the other side of that door. This alone would have chased the silence away.
And Allen understood what had been mating with the longing in him…
Perhaps it wasn't a matter of right or wrong, of being truthful to your principles or anything of this kind… But more a question of feelings. He had to admit his own hurt and in doing so, they could… He could… Could move on.
"Guys…" He muttered, no longer forcing a smile, the expression of his face becoming more real. "It is alright now, truly."
It was an acceptance of apologies and it worked to lighter the environment.
But it also brought a perception for everyone.
Events have effects, actions have consequences and things change even though we don't want them to, sometimes due to time, sometimes due to ourselves. The feelings they had for each other hadn't changed in essence. Love hadn't turned into hatred, caring hadn't become despise…
But nothing was or could be like before.
XxX
As they went downstairs, Allen made a brief summary of what had happened since he had left, not entering many details that would only create more questions than what the others had now. They had to discuss first what they would do for Lavi and Bookman, which they wouldn't be able to if they spent the next hours speaking of the past rather than discussing the ideas.
Raz and the others weren't in the hall, but in another room, turning left. From the stairs, they could be seen sitting in old chairs or on the clean floor (the contrast with the dirty in the walls was screaming) talking to each other.
Lenalee felt something bitter at the end of her throat, and even if this wasn't time for that particular subject, she couldn't help herself.
"Hm… Allen?" The boy turned to her and Lenalee thought about how to say what she meant to. "And… And that Noah?" She wasn't sure how to feel about it, even now. A Noah and an Exorcist together was a scenario that didn't find any context and a part of her shivered before it.
"Her name is Raz."
"Look, it's not that… Well, you did say she has been with you this whole time." Krory completed, soon becoming unsure. The subject tasted of ashes, like an unpleasant thing that no one enjoyed talking about. Not knowing anything and having no news during those months, the information had fallen on them like a punch and with a similar effect.
"You don't need to worry!" Allen affirmed. Those were the reactions he had imagined and he knew he would have likely felt the same in their shoes. "I swear."
He could say the girl would never hurt them or that she was a nice person, however, those terms sounded out of place somehow. Perhaps it was the context of the war or the fear the Clan of Noah inspired, but this almost sounded like how one would talk about a dog rather than a friend.
"She is my friend," He said simply, unaware of how warm his voice sounded.
"But… Allen… A Noah?"
Allen shook his head lightly… Day after day of being in the Order, fights against akumas, knowing the Noahs were the ones to be held responsible for all that suffering… Even now, he could hear their laughter as Alma awakened to destroy all around, the same way Johnny had remembered hearing the white-haired Noah's response to a pleading: "We're Noah, old man. I have no mercy for you."
It was perhaps a shock that Kanda hadn't tried to fight Raz as soon as he had met her. Allen hadn't been awake, so he supposed the surprise added to the akumas' attack had held him back until the situation had been explained enough for him to leave her alone.
"After everything they did…"
"Raz hasn't done anything." It didn't mean she hadn't done before and he knew it. But still… Away from Order, from that immutable way of life, as much as they were still on a war, paths that had until now remained unseen somehow opened. "And we never stopped to ask, did we?"
None of them had an answer for that. Kanda might as well not be paying attention, considering his expression, leaving Allen and the others at the end of the stairs as he went to join the Exiled, sitting on a spot without saying anything.
"We never stopped to ask anything…" Allen went on, saying this to them and himself as well. None of them had ever stopped to wonder about the reasons the Noahs had to fight, assuming the intention to destroy humanity to be enough and that there was nothing else behind it.
The Exorcists looked from him to Raz. At the distance they were, they still could talk among themselves without being heard.
Krory frowned, reflecting on those words. He wasn't sure of how right they were or if having a Noah around wouldn't backfire against them, but he supposed he understood what Allen was saying.
"I think that… Perhaps… When you do something for long enough, there comes a time when…" Krory said slowly. "You forget the reasons. Even your own. Not thinking, not analyzing, you just do it. And you forget the rest."
The others turned to the vampire, blinking to what he had just said. Allen nodded.
It was more or less like it…
It didn't matter what, he trusted Raz. And not for the first time, thinking about her caused a sensation alike to what he imagined to be thinking about a sister.
XxX
Discussing what they would do and how sounded easier than the act in itself.
"I think after everything," Alison said, sitting with her elbow leaning on her knees and a serious expression. "We have the right to know everything that is happening."
Allen hesitated as the girl hadn't talked to him, but to the Exorcists. Allen knew she wasn't being cold on purpose or on a personal level, it was just that Alison's despise for the Order and everything related to it didn't give room for different behavior… Even if he wished she would lower her guard, at least a little.
"What is happening in that place?"
Then Miranda and the others entered started to explain, talking about the new safety procedures and how the situation was, including about the recovering of the Innocences. Allen tried to not feel bothered or think much of it, forcing his attention to remain in the present and not running away to hypotheses.
In the same way, Allen explained what he could about those months and Apocryphos, as best as he could.
"Are you serious about it?" Marie had never heard anything of this sort. An independent Innocence? It sounded almost absurd. Kanda scoffed with a sarcastic way, the Order would probably love this: It meant fewer complications when seeking for Accommodators and the limitations of a human body.
He recalled the countless times he had had to attempt synchronization with his Innocence during the experiments, the energy ripping his body from inside out, and still that cage of flesh didn't give in, didn't die and didn't set him free.
Nor him or Alma…
"For what I know, it is a unique Innocence. Tyki said it exists to protect the Heart, only that…"
"Only that this thing sounds insane." Krory growled unable to hide his disgust before the idea of what had almost happened, what would have happened to Allen if the Noahs hadn't come to help. It was too ironic that they should thank those two for Allen still being with them.
How could a creature like that be Innocence?
"He was the one that turned Suman…" Lenalee muttered quietly and ran her hand through her hair, an idea coming to her. "What if we could prove it? That this Innocence attacked Link?" And her tone, bit by bit, trembled in the direction to anxiety and hope. "Maybe if we could, then the Order would have to admit that they were wrong, that you were falsely accused and then you… You could come back…"
Allen avoided looking at her.
"I don't think that would work, Lenalee…" Miranda told her as she placed a hand on the girl's shoulder. In theory, it sounded possible, but the execution could have quite different results. "And you know it…"
"But…"
The Order already searched for the Heart in an obsessive way. To know an Innocence that was meant to protect it had attacked Allen, whatever the reason might be, would only make them hunt the boy even more.
"No. They would only use him as bait." Samuel interrupted, sounding harsher than he normally did, his dark eyes severe as he looked from Lenalee to Allen. "So they could capture Apocryphos and use him. At best. At worse, they would think that if an Innocence "so important" attacked him, either to save him or because he is dangerous, then it's the right thing to be done." He gave Allen an apologetic gaze for the last words. Those conjectures were arrows real enough to hurt, however, Allen nodded to the man. It was true, after all.
And though Lenalee's suggestion was just that, he suddenly wasn't sure of how he felt about the idea of going back to the Order. It didn't matter that, months ago, he would have loved to hear anything that would help him to do exactly that.
"If Apocryphos killed Suman," Kanda thought to himself. "His Innocence didn't turn on him for running away from the Order or even telling the Noah about other Exorcists… It was sentient enough to understand his reasons and consider them…" Like the Innocences of the Moyashi and Lenalee had kept them safe and there should be a reason why some people were Accommodators and others weren't.
"Perhaps that is really just the Innocence's choice…"
He recalled the marks in his arms, the veins standing against the skin…
"They got weaker right after that Apocreep guy attacked…"
"Mugen alerted me against him."
He realized he had said that out loud when the others looked to his direction.
"What are you saying?" There was no way Lauren could mask her confusion.
"Marks appeared on my arm when I was with you, before I had to leave. I thought it was a preliminary stage of turning into a Fallen…" He couldn't go on. The reactions were immediate.
"And you didn't say anything?!"
"Allen is right, you're an idiot!"
"Oh, for the love of…"
"Kanda… You are really stupid." Allen mumbled, running his hand over his face and hair as if he couldn't believe it. Of all the important things to be said back then and Bakanda had chosen to keep this a secret. Yes, obviously it hadn't been the case, but it would have been better if the samurai had told them about it!
"Yeah, yeah, whatever!" Kanda interrupted them, not wanting to put up with reprimands for something already done. "Point is, the marks got stronger before that thing appeared and then they were gone. I think this means that Mugen was actually trying to alert me Apocryphos was around…"
As the others exchanged looks reflecting upon his words, Kanda ran his eyes through the Exiled.
"This is also why none of you became Fallen. It wasn't just that your synchronization level didn't fall or because you never did something actively against the Order". It was more because, like Mugen, Crown Clown and the Dark Boots and Suman's Innocence, they had understood their reasons and accepted.
Perhaps, besides when someone not meant or able to keep the Innocence's power attempted a forced synchronization or when Apocryphos did whatever he had done, it took something more to cause people to become Fallen Ones…
"How sentient are the Innocences?"
Allen and Raz just looked at each other, at once thinking about how the boy's arm had violently reacted to Apocryphos' presence. What Kanda had said now wasn't so much of a theory, it sounded closer to the realms of fact and evidence than that.
"It means even our Innocences may actually be against Apocryphos…" The idea warmed Allen, for it meant that it couldn't be true that Crown Clown wanted for him to be absorbed by Apocryphos… Suman's Innocence had kept him safe from that creature and Kanda's story indicated a similar reaction…
The warmth spread in him, like a comforting hug.
"And if we're done discussing what happened, could we get on with it?" Kanda asked with an air of impatience. They all needed to know what was truly happening, fine, but the real matter here was how they would help the stupid redheaded.
The room became quiet.
"We don't know for sure where they would be keeping Lavi and Bookman…" Elana started, thoughtful.
"Maybe a house? You said that when you met Tyki the first time, he was traveling by train and seemed to have human friends, it isn't farfetched to think they may have houses and… Well, lives." Or at least they lived among humans normally, so…
It made sense.
"Maybe with your eye you could sense if there was a concentration of akumas in just one place, and then…"
"Yes, but how long would this take? It could be anywhere in the world, how would…"
"I don't think so. Come on, we're all thinking about it… The Ark." Krory interrupted holding his chin. Even a well-guarded house still offered chances for a prisoner to try running away. The Ark would be safer and also isolated, offering the Noahs more freedom of action… He didn't feel good after saying this, it meant they could torture Lavi and Bookman without any problem of a human passing by and hearing screams for example.
As much as they didn't care about killing people, the Noahs weren't stupid to expose themselves easily.
Lauren sighed as she shook her head.
"What were we even saying? We know it is. It can only be, it's obvious…" Not that it helped matters, quite the contrary. And the reasons why they hadn't wanted to just go and say it was just as clear. Lauren sighed again. "Great. Just great."
Instead of being an obstacle less to deduce the localization, it had turned into another problem.
"To find exactly where in the Ark they are being kept…" Elana started, slowly. "Fight the akumas and the Noahs that will be there. Get them. Come back with them… And that if we find a way to enter there in the first place…"
"The Black Ark belongs completely to the Noahs… It's like their territory" Johnny commented with an emptiness that made him feel he had no organs. "It isn't like entering a house."
"That's why Wisely told us so easily." Raz reflected. "He probably wanted to tease us or maybe he thinks Allen may offer himself for those guys."
Allen thought the same. He couldn't come up with any other reason why the Noah of Wisdom would have confirmed that particular suspicion and, considering everything, it did sound like the only way…
To Allen, however, it was just the most obvious way…
"I think…" He said slowly, with an idea. "That there is a way."
Ana: One does not simply enter the Black Ark... Damn it, I'm sorry, but I had to say this!
Kanda: You think you're very amusing, don't you?
Ana: Not really... Aaanyway! For those who were expecting a happy reunion... Sorry. I swear that while I was writing, I did try to make it so, rewriting the scene a couple of times before I took another route… Not that I wasn't going to address the issue of what happened in the Order, but I had planned the reunion of Allen and the others to be at least better. However, it really, REALLY wasn't working out and I realized that even if they still care for each other so much, it was going to be hard and awkward anyway.
Again, I'm sorry for those who were expecting things to turn out okay, but sadly, life isn't like this. Just saying "sorry" doesn't fix things and when you hurt someone or neglect them, it isn't going to vanish. This happens for minor things, not wounds such as the one Allen has… It's the old metaphor of the crystal or paper. If you smash it, no matter how much you try to fix it, the cracks and the marks will still be there.
Yeah, not exactly the happiest of reunions, but… Actions have consequences and things change. I'm not saying they aren't friends anymore, but they will need a time to themselves.
Well, let's see how things turn out in the end, right?
Krory: If we manage to infiltrate that damn Ark and get out alive, then it is already good enough for me...
Alison: We're going to die.
Ana: Nice to see how I created a warm, cute ray of sunshine...
Reviews are the version of chocolate. And everyone loves chocolate!
Morlana: Thanks! Kanda's return was a scene I wanted to give the best detail I could. While he still has to come back, at least he managed to be sure of who is still on Allen's side. Next time, we see their suicide mission.
Kanda: Yeah, thanks for that "suicide" part.
Ana: To be fair, it isn't going to be a walk in the park and you know it.
jy24: Road will still take a couple of chapters to actually return, but better late than never, right?
Road: It is about time! I don't like the idea of Lenalee meeting Allen before me in this story!
Lenalee: Excuse me?
Ana: Uh... You girls aren't going to fight again, right?
Kanda: The Moyashi seems to have an idea, but getting in the Ark is only half of the issue.
Allen: Let's be honest, of the whole thing, perhaps that will be the easiest part.
Ana: Probably...
SeventhStar23: Wow, thanks a lot! The times when readers tell me their views on my characters and scenes they liked are always the best! And I'm so glad you liked it so much!
Raz: Well, I... I mean... Thank you, I guess...
Ana: This is something I always try to do when writing. Making the people of my story "real", you know? And thanks a lot for commenting about that scene of Suman Dark! I was so anxious to know what people would think and I actually put a lot of effort into that!
Allen: It was one of the worse things I've ever felt, that's what.
Ana: Well... One more reason to want Apocreep dead?
Allen: As if we didn't have enough already...
Ana: Again, thanks a ton! Hope you've liked this chapter too!