"The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary. Men alone are quite capable of every wickedness" – Joseph Conrad.
Act Thirty-Three – Whispers From The Past
Allen didn't want to move.
His limbs were numb. His brain, taken by clouds, couldn't tell the body to move. Any command lost its strength, unable to complete its path to the nerves. It was by sheer instinct that his hand sought Raz's, an anchor which he could hold on to. As soon as their skins touched, his fingernails dug in her flesh, wanting more of that warmth, of that reality. The grip made her flinch as half-moons of pain were born but made no attempt to free herself. Allen also didn't realize what he was doing.
He stayed where he was.
He couldn't move.
He didn't want to move.
"Allen…" Raz's tone was soft, unsure.
No answer.
He was not listening, he wasn't even there at all. He was somewhere inside himself.
They had arrived in London without complications (and wasn't that a surprise, taking into account they had run into two Noahs in the last days?) and it had been rather easy to get information about a certain traveling circus, mostly due to some sort of scandal involving the police and an investigation. They had heard very little of it and from what they did, they were unable to tell if it was just a rumor or not. Yet, once Allen had heard the name, any doubt had been erased. He knew it.
They had found it.
This was the circus they had searched for.
The place where he had grown up. The place where he had lived for so long.
The place that, most than anything else, he had wished to never see again.
The circus had set camp in a field, an area not so different from where Allen had met Mana. No surprise in there either, as this was the sort of location they favored the most, for several reasons (not all of them related to the matter of space). At first, Allen had managed to keep his emotions at bay, but with the proximity of now, close enough for him to see the shapes of the colorful tents, control failed him. From here, everything looked so much the same that he might have never left… It was nonsense, a silly impression, this he told himself. After so many years, at least a few things were bound to have changed. And he wasn't coming back, he was just passing by out of necessity.
He wasn't coming back.
Emotions refused logic, breeding the present and the past into one. His thoughts left his mind as the muscles died under the skin.
If he wasn't coming back, why was he so… So scared of seeing those people? Of how they would react?
Run. He wanted to run. Turn back and run, because if he didn't… He…
He couldn't… He simply couldn't go there again.
Never again.
Raz held his hand firmly, as much as she could under his own grip.
He didn't seem to feel it.
"Allen." She repeated, only to be ignored again. "Allen!"
A brief jolt passed from her arm to his, apparently bringing him back. When he turned to her, his facial muscles were set into that automatic smile in which the girl didn't believe for a second.
The details of the early years of his life were beyond her, as Allen had just briefly mentioned that the circus had been an unpleasant place, that the troupe didn't like him very much because of his arm, that Mana had found him there and took him in. It sounded painfully simplified now. What he tried to hide in his eyes had been an indication better than words, so Raz had considered it was better to not push it and give him space… Now, the decision didn't seem so good.
Maybe she should have tried to talk to him…
"Hey…" She came to stand in front of him, placing her free hand on his shoulder, unsure of what to say right away. Things like "it will be alright" and "it's okay" sounded too close to the realm of lies for her own taste, so she just stood there until the mist cleared from his eyes.
Realizing then that he was almost crushing her hand, Allen let it go, turning his gaze away.
A strange shame came to him.
He had faced Akumas, had faced the Noahs… Damn it, he had faced the Millenium Earl himself just what, a few days ago, and he couldn't face this?
The thought didn't incentive him in the slightest.
He had left (ran away, his mind corrected him, he had run away) with Mana ages ago, both knowing the people of that place wouldn't simply let him leave (their despise non-standing), not when it was the boy who performed the more unpleasant or menial tasks that others either didn't want to do or had no time to, not when they were used to having around, making him as part of the circus as the utensils or tents, not when they could…
Not when he was a possession.
He had understood it then and he understood it now.
The memories threatened to break free and there was little to hold them back. The bitter taste of bile climbed up from his empty stomach, burning what was in the way. He knew he had to do this, he knew. That was the only place where he could get some information regarding Mana and perhaps himself, where he had come from. After all, what else could he do? Go the Earl himself and ask him to talk about Mana?
This was the only way.
Then why all of him rebelled against the idea?
The one who shivered then was not Allen, but a boy with no name.
Raz started to rub his shoulder in a caress of sorts. Slowly, something in him calmed down, enough for Allen to take a deep breath, telling himself to stop, to go on, to start walking…
His body didn't move.
He just… Wanted to go home.
"What home?" The darker corners of his mind taunted him.
"Allen…" Raz started.
"I'm fine" He replied, a little too fast, that frozen smile still carved in his face. "I'm okay, I just…"
This time, she squeezed his hand, silencing the flow of lies.
"Just take your time, alright?"
He stared at her, uncomfortable by what he considered a weakness, by his desire to turn away, an unpleasant weight spreading inside at the realization that after so many years, something in him still reacted to that circus. That those people still could affect him… It made him think of dark chains that would always follow him. The thought incited another wave of bile from his stomach. He took long, unnoticeable breaths, trying to reclaim his self-control, telling himself that if he couldn't get rid of those sensations, he should at least keep them out of the way.
Breathe in, breathe out. Just like his lungs had done since birth. In and out.
He could do this.
Right?
"Alright…" He muttered to her after minutes or hours, he couldn't tell and neither cared to try. "I'm alright. I can do it."
It was impossible to tell if he was saying that to her or himself. His nerves still rebelled against the idea, but he forced them into silence.
"I'm with you…" It was the only thing she could say. Allen just nodded in response and allowed himself to feel a certain relief for her presence, not wanting to imagine how it would be to do this alone. His hold on her hand became lighter, but he didn't let go.
As they approached, the tents and colors weren't the only ones to became more discernible. The difference between the area and the Nuit et Etoile was strong enough to reach beyond the visual, as obvious as it was. The air was empty of laughter or loud conversations, there were no booths for games and food and, despite some of the tents still being set up, without lights or people around, their colors seemed to have a miserable quality even when the fabric moved under the touch of a breeze.
It would seem, at first, that this was only because of the lack of a happy crowd, replaced by the people walking around, their expressions and their pacing more of a give-away than the dark uniforms. However, a more sensitive person might feel it was not quite the case.
They didn't have to come much closer. An officer approached them as soon as he saw them.
"Sorry, kids." He was a tall man, dark eyes going from one to the other with an intensity of iron that the kind expression didn't diminish. Though the intensity was natural and the sharpness in his edges was not aimed at them, Allen felt a new wave of nervousness. If he got in trouble with the authorities now, there wouldn't be the power of the Order to help him. The cop, however, didn't appear to be seeing them more than the necessary, most of his attention left on whatever was going on behind him. "The circus isn't working today. This area is off-limits."
Unsure of how (or if he should) insist right away, Allen's gray eyes peeked beyond the man, searching and at the same time fearing, for a known face. Raz kept staring at the man, considering his posture and what might be the best course of action to get what they wanted.
"It would be better if you left…" The man took a kinder tone, perhaps mistaking their silence for intimidation. Though Allen had considered what to say if they found policemen at the site of the circus, the words were lost now.
"Please, we…" He started, unsure of how to convince the man to let him pass and talk to someone from the troupe. The man just looked at him. At least he seemed willing to hear him before shooing him away. On a whim, Allen decided to go for the truth. "I know… I know people from this circus." Or at least some of them. Years had passed, perhaps some of them were already dead…
A part of him could think of three or four he hoped were dead.
Was that awful of him?
It felt like it was.
"How do you know them?" The question came in a calm enough tone, but Allen thought he saw a subtle change in the man's posture, denouncing a certain interest. Knowing this was an important moment, he sustained the look of those dark eyes.
His throat was dry again.
"I… I worked here when I was younger…" His younger self might have laughed at the use of that particular term. Yes, even he had referred to it as "work', but… More because that was what everyone else called it. And he didn't know other terms. It had been just… Just the way things were. It had been normal.
Why did he feel the need to lower his eyes?
Why did he felt ashamed?
The man studied the teens again as if better taking in their appearance. The crumpled clothes, the bags… They looked better than some vagrants he had seen in his life, but he couldn't mistake them for children who had a home. The boy might be telling the truth or lying for some particular reason, though the latter sounded quite improbable. In a way or another, he didn't think there would be any harm in hearing him before making any decisions.
"What is your name?"
"Allen Walker, sir…"
The officer nodded, not blinking.
"Would you mind answering a few questions?" He asked, trying to not stare at the boy's scar, as difficult as it was, not only due to the size but the shape. His long fringe barely hid the star on the corner of his forehead. The firm tone gave Allen the idea this wasn't so much of a request as it first seemed. Well, at least there wasn't any open hostility. Maybe this man could help… Maybe it would be alright to talk with him.
He agreed with a slow nod.
The man didn't say anything and merely made a gesture for them to follow. Apparently, he didn't intend to take them to a police station in town and, instead, he walked in the direction of another officer who was talking with two others. While Allen tried to not look around, he was not immune to the familiar touch of the place. He tried to tell himself it was his imagination, that if he didn't know better this could've been any other circus… It didn't help. Nothing did.
He knew this place too much.
"Booth, what's going on?" The man who had been talking asked as the two other officers walked away, his eyes going from the teens to his colleague. Booth shook his head briefly and made a subtle gesture with his head that seemed to indicate they needed to talk alone. The two walked away, keeping a calculated distance from the teens, that would have given them privacy were not for their senses being sharper than those of normal people. Allen paid attention, trying to listen to what he could of the whispers.
"The boy says he worked here before. I think we should try to confirm it." A new seriousness came to Officer Booth's voice while the other officer looked at the teens for a brief moment, then back at him.
"Even if it's true…" Despite their senses, the next words were still too low for Allen or Raz to be able to hear it and there was little to be taken from the men's expressions alone. Allen wasn't sure of what was happening, but it was obvious it was a serious situation. He hoped they would see he had no reason to lie about any of it, but at the same time, he wasn't so sure this had been a good idea.
He had only wanted to get some answers, nothing more.
The second officer seemed unsure about the odds of a boy who had worked there happening to pass by right at that exact moment (not something Allen would blame him for), but Officer Booth was either in a superior position or managed to convince him, as his features became somewhat less tense.
He turned to Raz, seeing the girl's eyes slithering as she looked around, as the officers passing by them as she likely tried to get an idea of what had happened (and doubting that a direct question would get a clear answer). While he watched her, her eyes stopped. He sensed a change in her more than he saw it and followed her gaze.
His blood froze.
Meters away, there was a child seated in a chair.
A female officer was crouched down at his side, gentleness in her posture and expression, close but not too much. The boy just listened, unable to look at her for more than a few seconds, the small hands closed over his elbows. He couldn't be older than nine or ten… Or perhaps he was too small for his age.
It shouldn't be any sort of indication.
There shouldn't be anything there that called the attention.
But Allen knew that look. Those eyes.
The child's left arm boasted a dark bruise.
And he knew, right then and there, that it was not the only one the boy had.
He knew that boy had a coat that he was supposed to wear, especially during times when people visiting the circus could stumble upon him despite the orders to stay out of sight. He knew what made that boy flinch without a thought when the woman just leaned towards him a little more, trying to see his colorless eyes. He knew where he slept and what he ate.
He knew it.
A new coldness came to him, something that collided with the fear.
Officer Booth and the other man were approaching again. Allen didn't give them time to say anything.
"What happened?"
Watching the men, Raz felt as if something had just been communicated between the two of them. Her attention, however, went back to the boy, as if unable to look away for too long.
"I need you to…" Officer Booth started, but Allen didn't hear.
"What happened?"
"I'll take care of it, Booth." The second officer said, then turning his attention to the teens. "I'm officer Rossi, I'm in charge of this investigation. If you two could come with me, please?" Despite the man's manners being firm, they didn't lack politeness. It was the sort of tone that made a person less tense. The insistence was still in Allen's throat, caught like a bird, and he forced it down, knowing better than to allow his emotions to take control for now. Those men were willing to listen, which was already a good indication if nothing else. No use risking to complicate matters with behavior they wouldn't like.
He had a good idea of what had happened, yet, there was the human need for confirmation.
Rossi guided them closer to the smaller stands still up but made no gesture to be about to enter any of them.
"Officer Booth told me you used to work here?"
"Just… Just me…" Allen confirmed.
"Very well. Young miss, if you please," He turned to Raz. He looked older than Booth, face marked by time, but it had not yet lost its strength, no more than his dark eyes had. If anything, age had sharpened this man into a tiger than knew all the tricks of the wild. "If you could just give us some privacy? Wait with officer Booth, will you?" He could see there would be little to no point in asking her to leave the premises entirely, so this would have to suffice for now. Raz still hesitated but decided it would be in her best interests to comply.
She turned away, approaching Officer Booth enough for him to notice her presence while keeping a certain distance that she deemed safe. She hadn't thought much about how things would go once they had found the circus, yet she certainly had not expected anything involving the police. The development now depended on whether or not Officer Rossi would believe in Allen. It should be easy enough right? He could name some members of the troupe, describe them…
When he saw the girl approaching him, Booth didn't need to ask what had happened as it was obvious. He offered a brief nod, more acknowledging her presence rather than anything else, which she responded in kind, the gesture almost a twitch. He wondered about the sudden development… That white-haired boy was a very unexpected factor… If he had indeed worked in this circus, he might be helpful in the case, proving they could provide evidence to back his claim up.
He studied the girl with the corner of his eyes. He had no idea of what make of the boy (except that he had rather honest eyes and Booth couldn't imagine how he had gotten that weird scar), but the girl, while also an unknown factor, was somehow unsettling… Upon realizing this impression, the man tried to reprimand himself. He loved kids. She was just a teenager, had barely spoken at all, to begin with, seemed a serene sort… So what would make him feel like that?
Trying to rationalize the sensation to make it go away wasn't working.
Raz, on another hand, couldn't care less about the man, her attention remained on the child… Especially on the bruise on his arm. The more she looked, the more the dark stain seemed to hold her gaze until it was feeding on it… It shouldn't be much by itself, she had witnessed and sustained worse injures… But that bruise looked so dark, so big on that fragile arm…
She averted her gaze, realizing it might seem as if she was staring.
Deciding to ignore what Officer Rossi had said, Raz turned around and walked away. Officer Booth said nothing. Good. Other agents were walking around anyway, so it should be fine. As soon as Officer Rossi finished talking with Allen, they might be able to do something and get this ordeal over with…
She noticed some of the policemen were inspecting the remaining booths. Two were talking with a man dressed in a black coat, who smiled and gestured as he spoke, looking calm for someone who had cops investigating the area…
What had happened here, after all? Why were they still around? Shouldn't they be dragging whoever had hurt that child away already?
A chill came from somewhere buried deep under her flesh. The question carried a sort of naivete that she couldn't have anymore, that Allen had lost long ago and that child had given up on.
Why had she thought it, then?
An officer, a woman with long, blonde hair, was standing in an empty area. Something had clearly caught her attention as she moved the earth with one foot. Based on some marks on the ground that she could see from where she was, Raz guessed they had kept something in there. Perhaps another booth that had already been taken down or some cages… Raz watched the woman, considering whether or not to ask her for details. It wouldn't do any harm to know more about the situation. Yet, seeing the woman's frown, she remained where she was.
As she observed, the woman crouched down.
Without noticing Raz, she started to dig with her bare hands, her frown deepening. The scent of the earth rose in the air as it was moved. Nothing at first, nothing to see… However, the smell. The smell was becoming different… From the start, it was dry, nothing like the pleasant dampness after the rain or wilderness or of a place where a garden could bloom… Now, the more the woman dug it up, the more a new smell bred with that of the earth.
The smell of the end.
Among the earth, something started to appear. The tip of something very small. Then another. And another…
For an insane moment, Raz thought it was a kind of root.
The illusion lasted a second.
Five fingers, a small hand, an arm so thin that it could be easily broken… Someone screamed. It might have been the woman, announcing the discovery or not. Raz didn't know. She didn't care. The earth kept being removed, revealing the body and the resting… No, the hiding place. Someone bumped into her as they rushed by. Raz didn't feel it. Her entire being was directed to that which had been found.
The skin, gone… The flesh, burned… All that remained was a darkened mass in the shape of a child.
She knew that smell. Whether burned or ripped apart or drowned, she knew the smell of death.
"The teeth… God… The teeth…" The child's face had been eaten by flames, turning the nose into a hole. The eyes seemed closed at first, but she doubted anything remained inside the sockets. Yet, she could still see the teeth.
Two were gone.
The officers who had approached backed away, calling for something, talking about something. Procedures for removing the body, perhaps. It made no difference as far as Raz was concerned. Were there… Were there patches or redness underneath the blackness, or was this her impression?
A mass of burnt flesh.
A child.
She turned to the direction where she had seen the man in black, in time to see him being shackled by two cops. He protested, still keeping a controlled façade even in face of undeniable evidence of a murder, shaking his head and denying knowledge.
She looked back at that which had one day been a child's body.
With the lips removed, the corpse's face seemed to be frozen in a neverending scream.
XxX
His days at the circus were something Allen had never wanted to discuss with anyone.
Like many things, it had been buried deep in a corner of himself that he refused to acknowledge or remember most of the time… Even back in the Order, when talks about the past arose, he would often just mention Mana and leave at that. He knew most of them assumed that Mana had picked him up on the streets when Allen was younger and was glad to let them think so.
It was better like this.
He could talk about traveling with Cross and his debts… He could talk about Mana and even… Even about his death, if necessary… But not about this.
A few of them had caught on to the fact Allen wasn't exactly fond of touching or being touched, especially at first, but it wasn't an oddity in the Order, after all. Kanda would threaten bodily harm to anyone who dared to try hugging him (Lavi could witness that) and during her first days, Miranda flinched if someone so much as touched her arm… Allen was aware the others had likely concluded that living with Cross for so long would leave anyone unused to it and had left it at that.
It had nothing to do with Cross.
The reasons behind it were here, in this circus, where his first memories began.
Mana had helped him, but after his death, that old uneasiness had returned…
Officer Rossi was studying him. Allen forced himself to not lower his gaze, his mind still turning to those days at the Order, regardless if he no longer enjoyed that… Yet… They had helped him, hadn't they? Over the months, over time, taking it slowly, not pushing his limits…
They had helped him, hadn't they?
The thought didn't soothe him, as true as it was. He pushed it away. Thinking about the Order or those people wouldn't help him at all.
"So, what's your name?" Officer Rossi asked when it became clear the boy wasn't going to start the conversation. "Don't worry, you're not in trouble." The boy probably knew that, yet it was good to confirm the fact, to help him feel more comfortable.
"Allen Walker…" He said slowly.
"Where are you from?"
Allen shrugged. Old question, still no answer.
"That's what… That's what I'm trying to find out." With the presence of the police, his best (if not only) chance of talking with someone from the troupe seemed to lie in the truth. Once more, he felt as if a snake had made a home inside him, pushing his organs aside as it moved. Officer Rossi just looked at him in silence.
"Go on…" He said slowly when the boy said nothing more. "You said you used to work here?"
Allen nodded. No need to enter details, after all.
Officer Rossi leaned to him, dark eyes taking hold of gray ones. The face was stern, but the expression was not unkind… When the man spoke, his deep voice was kept in a low tone.
"They used to hurt you, didn't they?"
Allen opened his mouth… And realized he could taste denial on his tongue already. It made no sense. It was alright now, he could confirm it, it wasn't as if those people could do anything, after all… He just had to say it, he could do so… Yet, he just nodded. There it was that old feeling again, for which he had no name. It came from the part of him where that child still lived.
Every punch, every kick, every bitter word, every occasion when he had puked blood rushed to his mind in the sequence of a heartbeat.
"That boy…" Allen's voice came just as low, as he ignored his own thoughts. "Who is he?"
Officer Rossi didn't seem eager to answer at first. What changed his mind, Allen didn't know, but after gazing at him for a moment, there was a strange shift in his eyes and he sighed.
"We are... Unsure, as of now." Revealing all the details of the case was not in his plan right now, though with the way rumors were spreading in town, he was prepared to face quite some exaggerations when he returned to the station. Allen Walker stared at him, his gaze a lot stronger than when he had first seen the boy. He sighed, considering the pros and cons of doing just that. "A young lady came to watch the show yesterday with her little sister. They stayed afterward to play a few games until the closing hours, but the little girl wanted to see the cages with the animals and sneaked back when they were going home. The older sister came after her and witnessed a young boy being beaten."
Strenght left Allen's arms. He knew, right then, what it meant that they hadn't seen any other child…
Officer Rossi said nothing more, seeing that the boy understood.
The young lady had gone to the police as soon as she had returned and so, here they were. Everyone in the circus had denied the existence of another child, one of the clowns suggesting the girl might have seen just a father with his son. The ringleader, a hand on the boy's shoulder, had laughed when they had explained the reason for the questions.
Hurting a child? Someone in this circus? Nossir, this had been a mistake!
Once away from the ringleader, or anyone else from the circus, the boy had sustained the original story. There was no other child. It must have been a father with his son. Nossir, it had been a mistake.
Officer Maple knew better than to ignore the use of exact same terms, the indication in the boy's behavior, the signs that would be subtle to others standing out as fire burns in his eyes. Gently, he had explained to the boy that they could help him, he could tell the truth. Officer Rossi had thanked God for the younger man's ability to inspire trust in abuse victims, otherwise, the events might have taken a different route.
Nor the boy or his brother had ever had names.
They had lived with the circus for as long as he could remember.
Yes, they… He had been hurt.
A man had beat his brother near the animal's cages… He had cried. They both had. The man had kept hitting his brother, hitting and hitting. There was blood on the ground, his brother had stopped moving… Then the man had taken his brother away and told him to never speak of it again… His brother didn't exist, had never existed, so he shouldn't ever talk about him…
He had pointed out where it had happened.
Rossi had acted at once, arranging so they could search the area. The body wasn't there, but they had moved the earth and found blood. More than a few drops. The cages of the animals had been cleaned, but some crevices were still stained where the boy had tried to balance himself. However, while the team had started to separate the performers for interrogation and search for the body, one of the clowns had somehow managed to get close enough to the boy to say something… And now he was afraid of speaking again.
Despite the evidence they had (and could have should… No, when the body was found), Rossi knew how this didn't necessarily equate to justice being granted. He had worked with law enforcement long enough to have left behind the childish notion that bad guys always paid the price and that innocents were always avenged… As such, he wanted to gather as much evidence as possible, everything that might be used to make sure the murderer and those who had allowed those boys to be abused would never get near any other child.
If it was up to him, they would be tossed in a cage and never be left out, not even if the dead were to resurrect. Someone might argue the statements of the boy and the young lady would suffice, but he knew better. Rossi didn't believe in luck or Divine Intervention, but it seemed that Allen Walker would certainly fit the bill. Well… Maybe not to the level of assuring the case would be wrapped to the tiniest details and secure that those people would be condemned, but he surely could help things along.
As if to confirm it, the boy sighed.
"Cosimov is involved, isn't he?" The question was quiet, with no need for an actual answer. Allen didn't think of how many years had passed by or that the man might very well be dead by now… The possibility didn't even cross his mind for a very simple reason: The bruise on that boy's arm.
Cosimov…
How often the man liked to twist his red arm almost to the point of breaking the bones, laughing as he cried and begged him to stop, it hurt, he was sorry, so sorry…
Cosimov's laughter… One of the sounds he would never forget.
Rossi frowned. That was, indeed, the name of one of his main suspects, and the man who had, most likely, threatened the boy into silence despite the presence of the other officers somehow. If they could get that child to confirm whether or not he had been the one to kill his brother… And now, with the possibility of Walker's story…
Cosimov had also "confirmed" the ringmaster's suggestion that the young lady Alice had seen a father beating his own son, despite his looks matching her description (as basic as it had been. It had been dark and she hadn't stayed to see any better, out of fear. Rossi wouldn't blame her), smiling all the time.
Allen Walker's next words surprised him.
"I need to talk to him… Or with the ringmaster…" If it still was Mr. Karl Thorne, at least. He shivered. Between one and the other, he had no idea which one would be worst. "If it's still Mr. Thorne?"
He hated how low his voice became against his will, how shy… He had meant to just say the man's name, but the respectful term had slithered in before he realized it.
Rossi frowned.
"Leave this with my team, Walker…" As far as he was concerned, nothing good could come out of this boy meeting any of those men (be for himself or the investigation), regardless if he had indeed worked there as a child or not. "We can help you find where you came from, but I cannot allow you to talk with either of them."
Allen looked at him for a moment. After everything he had faced, he couldn't say that police authority meant much for him at the end of the day… He just preferred to avoid complications for the obvious reasons. A protest came… And died in his throat. What the situation called for was an argument that might convince the man, not an insistence that was so easily ignored. The man might understand the personal need, but not the depths of it.
Yet… A part of him wondered if it wouldn't be better this way. To just… Leave it to Rossi and his team, to accept what the man had just said and hope for the best… He realized that, for the first time in very long, he was seeing a chance of just being someone of his age and tempted to accept it. To be like a normal teenager and let the adults help, to do what they were supposed to do…
The idea fell apart before it took roots in him.
"He will recognize me…" He tried, thinking about how this might help the investigation. "This will confirm that I've been here before… Perhaps he'll say something useful or get so nervous that he will confess…" He doubted that very much. Why was he doing this? What was it that compelled him to insist? The truth was, Allen didn't even want to think about how Cosimov would react to seeing him again or whether this would be helpful to the current investigation or not… He just knew he couldn't merely leave this matter to someone else, police or not…
Officer Rossi still observed him as if debating the matter with himself when the cry of a woman sliced the afternoon.
"I FOUND HIM!"
Officer Rossi spared Allen a glance and a brief comment to stay, but Allen didn't hear it. He rushed out, running to where a blond woman was, her hands stained by the ground she had been digging. Other officers were around.
Raz was right there as well, watching the new development, as serene as if she were watching a lake at the sunset rather than the discovery of the body of a murdered child. Allen looked back to where the surviving boy had been seated but he wasn't there anymore… Maybe the officer who had been with him had taken him to the station or somewhere calmer? He hoped so.
He gestured with his head and Raz followed, both walking away from the scene.
"I think I convinced him to let me talk with Cosimov…" At least, he hoped so, questioning himself again. Perhaps this was a bad idea. Now that he wasn't speaking with Rossi, the cold in his lungs seemed to grow, even if he tried to hold on to the image of that boy and his dead brother…
Raz nodded and glanced back, towards where the body had been found. Officer Rossi had taken Officer Booth aside for a moment and both were caught up in a whispered conversation. It was easy to guess they should be talking about Allen's request.
She barely saw them. Her eyes were taken by the wounded boy and the burnt body of another.
It didn't take long for Officer Rossi and Officer Booth to come over.
"Very well" Rossi was saying as he approached, shaking his head. "I still don't really approve of this, but… You may try talking with him before we take him to the station." The man didn't need to say anything else, just one look in his eyes was enough to let Allen know he doubted Cosimov would tell him anything helpful (be for Allen or the investigation).
Something Allen could relate to, but still… He had to try, didn't he?
XxX
Klaud's breathing remained controlled, nothing of her giving any hint to possible emotional distress or agitation as she strolled around the gardens. Knowing what to do rarely served to soothe the tension, so she didn't bother with the attempt and merely kept it from causing any external display that would work against her. She almost laughed at the thought, thinking about how many times it had occurred to her in the last months. The ghost of a sound that came from her throat was dry, bitter in its echo. Sitting on her shoulder, Lau ran his claws against the side of her head in a comforting gesture. A bystander would think he was trying to play with her hair, perhaps thinking about climbing to the top of her head.
At least she was outside of the building… With the Crows walking around all the time, their sharp eyes never missing anything, she felt that it would be better to do this outside. She didn't mistake it for safety or secrecy but would take what she could get for now… Also, fewer chances of ending up hearing about the latest Akuma attacks or battles with the Noahs or rumors about Allen Walker. The last subject had already tired her to the point of tears, but it seemed people's anger still burned bright. Even if she were more ignorant of her surroundings and hints of the actual situation, she would still be annoyed by it… Though she had to admit, if that were the case, maybe she wouldn't be disagreeing entirely with what was being said.
But she knew enough.
She turned to a bush of white roses while Lau looked around with that curious manner of monkeys, watching for any possible Crow close by.
And people were thinking that having them accompanying Exorcists in missions was a great idea.
"For our safety, they say. Oh, yeah, right…" Of course, the Agents were better fighters than most people, even without Innocence of their own, and the development and learning of seals (among other techniques) had the potential to at least hold an Akuma, even a Noah, back during a battle, but it didn't mean their main objective would be to aid the Exorcists.
But people were scared enough to will themselves into believing that…
And frankly, why would they not? The Crows themselves probably believed it as well.
"Keep their attention on the known threat, let the fear grow, use it, then you can get them to do anything…" It was almost like being lost at the sea, with how things were going on. Curfews, more strict schedules, more frequent reports, along with subtler changes that she only knew were there because she was actively paying extra attention… She had dealt with the tide by herself as long as possible, now it was time to search for allies. In this game, one was pawn and player at the same time…
"Very well, then. I've made my moves as a pawn and hid my actions as a player… Time to expand the board."
At least she was sure this wouldn't turn out to be her last move as either of them.
It wasn't hard to notice the black hair with a white, thick strand… He seemed to occasionally enjoy spending his free time in the gardens. Lau made a chirping sound. Yes, she knew it. She still had to keep the possibility in mind that someone might be watching, so she had to make this interaction seem as harmless as possible.
For an instant, the sound of footsteps, the ones she had heard back in the Archives' Room, stirred in her mind, coming to the front of her brain, a needle piercing its way. The rustling, the lightness, almost as rustling feathers… She hadn't liked that at all. The reaction was purely instinctual, but she didn't think it should be ignored. Through her connection with Lau, she had also felt his own distress and this only emphasized the point.
"The roses are still beautiful, don't you think?" She asked in a conversational tone, approaching the man watching the red roses. Krory's eyes narrowed in her direction for less than a second, fast enough so someone might've missed it. Then, his attention was once more on the roses. Despite his past, his care for plants had remained.
"A few of them are lasting longer this year…" Autumn had already made its arrival, slowly spreading its claim, but some roses seemed to resist the demand of the season, no matter how much of the green around had already started to change into hues of yellow and orange.
"What do you really want, dear General?" He wondered to himself. Up until now, Klaud had given no reason for suspicion and Kanda also didn't seem to have anything bad to say about her (nothing positive either, though) based on the reunions reserved for the Generals alone that he had attended until now… Yet, the lack of negative evidence didn't mean she was trustworthy. Yes, when he thought about it, Krory would've liked to take the fact that she hadn't ever revealed Raz's existence to the Order, despite having seen her with Allen long before any of the others knew of her, as a good sign…
But a vampire had certain instincts and Krory, as such, refused to take risks.
As if she had heard his thoughts, her eyes touched his, giving no hint of her own stance. Not one to beat around the bush, Klaud decided to go straight to the point and looked back at the roses, touching one of them gently.
"If I were to ask… What would say makes someone trustworthy?" Her voice was soft, but not enough to hide the steel. "Better yet… Who do you trust?"
The reason why Krory didn't respond right away was not that he was thinking about it, but rather considering the nature of the question itself. This didn't sound good. Better to take a safe route until he was sure of what she wanted.
"Isn't that a rather philosophical question?" If she wanted him to be more open, then she should place her cards on the table as well. Klaud considered his evasive reply and nodded, more to herself. She also preferred to be careful with this. She hadn't come to this point only to hurry up and ruin everything.
But she appreciated that the way he kept his ground.
If she were to consider whom she could trust with her opinions about the Order and Allen Walker, then her options were Krory and Kanda. She had taken her time evaluating both and the more she did, the fewer doubts she had about them.
"I suppose." She walked around the rose bush, standing in front of Krory with the plant between them, still calm as if they were discussing something else, such as botanic. The softness of her expression didn't reach her eyes. For a moment, Krory wondered if they would always have that steel quality to them, even if she were to completely relax. "Trust is essential to bonds, isn't it?"
"A… Sentimental comment, but true all the same" Krory said simply while paying closer attention to Klaud's manners. Sentimentalism was not something easily associated with the woman, whose face now was adorned by the shadow of a smile. What was she thinking?
"Therefore, your friend should be able to trust you. And you, him." Their stares held each other and at that moment, it was as if the pretenses, while kept to others who might be watching from afar, were discarded between the both of them. Klaud, however, had no intention of engaging in a danse macabre of words. She had done it before and found no need to repeat it now. "And I told you once that you had reasons for that, right?"
Yes, she had. Once, she had said that, if he still trusted Walker, he had reasons to do so. Still, Krory stayed in silence, unsure if she was really referring to Allen.
"Even with him away for so many months… You must know of his… Companion." Different from many who had spoken of this matter, the hesitation and the light emphasis on the word had nothing to do with sarcasm or a veiled mockery but were born from an honest uncertainty of which term would be better. Even if she had already accepted that Walker was with a Noah, the image still didn't fit with the mind frame build over years of fighting. It felt like trying to force herself to accept a mathematical error as right, to tell herself an impossibility as truth and invert the names of the sun and moon…
It also annoyed her for far deeper reasons than she would be discussing now.
In his favor, Krory did not react.
"Everyone does."
"Yes… But you've met her too, right?" The sternness in her was meant to warn him against lying, but Krory kept his head high and merely raised his eyebrows in a very good display of denial. Did he think she would go to the high ups, to the cardinal, and denounce this? Before he could say anything, she lowered her voice until the scent of the roses itself would be enough to hide it. "Wanderers or not, things change. For everyone."
No more hints seemed necessary. Krory's mind worked fast through the possibilities and the exact terms of what she had said. The "too" could be referring to Chaozii rather than herself… Or was she aware that he knew they had crossed paths? If so, would she dare try to use the information against him? Klaud didn't have evidence but she was a General and Krory's history as Allen's friend would work against him should she decide to say anything. If he tried to "denounce" her in turn, he didn't know how serious the superiors would take him…
Yet… Like they had discussed, Klaud had seen Allen and Raz a long time ago, and had said nothing…
"Things change at times…" He muttered in agreement, but thinking about his last meeting with Allen made him sad. Klaud noticed shreds of it and it surprised her. If she was to assume he had seen Walker, as she was so sure he had, shouldn't he be happier about it? Then again, considering how things had been and all that had happened… An impulse came to her and she almost found herself lifting her hand to touch his, but took control again, wondering where this whim had come from.
It was hardly the time for sentimentalisms about the mistakes of the past.
"Not everything… Has your trust changed?"
She prepared herself. There was it. An innocent question that could be twisted and turn itself against her.
"You tell me…" The reply was polite and nothing else, one of the occasions when, although his eyes remained dark and his Innocence was not activated, Klaud sensed the vampire in him. "In what Klaud Nine believes?"
She took a deep breath. If she had made a mistake, then this was the end.
"I believe in the traveler. And I want to know who else does."
Ana: Whew! I was anxious to get them to this damn circus. I know this was a bit of a cliffhanger, with Klaud finally talking with the others at the Order and Allen talking with Cosimov, but hey, we're getting there.
Everyone: …
Ana: Oh, c'mon! Don't tell me you're all still mad at me because of the hiatus!
Kanda: I'm not mad because you were away for so long…
Ana (hopeful): You're not?
Kanda: No, I'm mad because you cameback.
Ana: … You know, you could just ignore me. Or try to slice me with Mugen. That was unnecessary.
Kanda: Don't care.
Ana: Jerk… Fine, don't suppose you want to hear an idea I had?
Kanda: No.
Ana: Look, some people send me PM commenting about the pairings and on the reviews...
Kanda: I won't like this, will I?
Ana: And I just got a drawing tablet as a gift (I'm so happy!). I've never used one before or did any digital drawing, so I'll need a lot of practice to get the hang of it. So, I thought you guys may help me with inspiration!
Lenalee: I agree with Kanda, I don't like the sound of it.
Ana: My idea is that you, dear readers, may send me suggestions of pairings (either in reviews or PM). Each reader may send up to THREE pairings. Next chapter, I list them and you people can vote. Then I'll draw the top pairings (if I get many pairings, I may also do something with the others, maybe a doodle or something, let's see what happens).
Alison: I officially hate you with the intensity of a thousand suns. People have better things to do.
Ana: Get off my back, it's just an idea. I won't do it if I don't get enough pairings or votes and no one has to do it if they don't want to. Gee, calm down.
Alison: Still stupid.
Ana: Sometimes I wonder why I created you… Well, in summary, the only rules are:
° You can suggest up to three pairings.
° They HAVE to be Canon/Oc or Oc/Oc (Canon/Canon will be disregarded, much as it pains me). You can go for anything, serious ships, crack ships, ignore the ones that are already "canon", just go for whatever you feel like (so if you want to pair Alison with a woman or Elana and Samual with someone else, go for it. There are no limitations).
Kanda: Listen here! The first… And I mean the first one who tries to involve me in this damn nonsense will lose their fingers! -Already holding mugen-
Ana: If you threaten the readers again I swear I'll find a way to make this fic end with you eloping with Apocryphos!
Well, guys, if you want to join, then send your suggestion up to October 30 (Day of the next chapter).
Keep safe everyone! Hope you guys are okay (or as okay as we can be with this damn year we're having).
Animo: I'm glad to be back as well, I missed this like you wouldn't believe, but this year is being insane. Well, I've said since the beginning I have no plans to make Allen and Raz a couple. Their relationship is purely brother-sister like. They love each other a lot, yes, but not in a romantic sense. As for Lenalee... I can't say anything. Wish I could, but I don't want to give spoilers. Also, I confess there are things about Lenalee that annoy me, but I'm trying to give her a good development.
Lenalee: Is it me or there are a lot of people who don't like me?
Alison: It's not you.
Lauren: Are you going to be mean to her for the rest of the fic?
Ana: Well, who knows what will happen romantically? For now, everyone is too caught up in the war and trying to survive.
ZooFan: Thank you! I couldn't stand if you were mad at me!
Kanda: I am.
Ana: Well, good think I'm used to you being mad at everyone! Anyway, I'm healthy and doing my best, being careful and taking care (especially because my mother is old, so she's in the risk group). Things have been... More or less, since a lot of people have lost their jobs and I lost the opportunity I got at the beginning of the year, so things are pretty tough. Trying to stay hopeful, though. Hope you're safe as well!