Goro and Akira go to Publix
A wise man once said "O beware, my lord, of jealousy; It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on." That color of green encapsulated the inner world of grocery mega-chain Publix. "Hey Akira, are you ok?" asked Goro Akechi. "Yeah lol" said I, Akira Kusuru. Goro was an interesting case, despite being in the harsh Floridian heat, he had insisted on not shaving, at all. His hairy ass was simply an eyesore to look at as it jiggled about the place as he walked. This boyfriend of mine was in search of one thing and one thing only, being a delicious loaf of Wonder bread, as we had ran out of it earlier in the week during our phantom thieves Florida vacation.
The rest of the thieves were simply chilling at the resort we were staying at, or so I had thought. Unbeknownst to me at the time, we were tailed by a certain wise-crackin, blonde lovin, black cat named Morgana. "Joker won't see this comin!" Said the marketable cat as he began to run across the fluorescent lights of the worn-down grocery store, observing the couple at a distance, preparing a prank or something like that.
"They sell submarines here?" asked the fur covered Goro, not aware that it was simply the name of the sandwich. "Im not aware" replied Akira, making his way to the deli corner of the store, unaware that they were being watched. "Welcome to the deli, whatcha want biiiiiiiiitch?" asked the attendant. After pondering over the menu for a short period, Akira decided he wanted no part of this strange American sandwich tradition. Goro however did not feel the same way. "I'll have a turkey, bacon, and swiss 'sub', extra dry please!" This order disgusted Akira, as it was far too dry for him. "Dude wtf, that is way too dry, come with me to find something, anything to put on it." Despite Goro's protests, the two made their way to Publix's sauce section. "Would ranch please you?" asked Goro. "No lol, how about ranch?" said Akira. "What is this, hot wings? Nah, how about…" The two stopped for a second, before they both reached out and said "Caesar".
"Did somebody call?" asked a voice in the distance. "Who the hell is that?" asked a concerned Goro, slowly reaching for something in his coat. Akira was not too sure why he was wearing a coat, as he was covered in what would be considered a rug really. The figure approached and it was none other than WWE Superstar Cesaro. Unlike the obscenely hairy Goro, Cesaro was quite bald. Almost like Shido, but far more muscular, and less red and assholy. Akira had instantly fallen for this strong fellow. "Wanna get some sushi?" asked Akira to Cesaro. "Am I the Swiss Superman?" asked Cesaro, so the two left Goro in the aisle of various sauces, on their way for some fishy goodness. "Steal my man will you? Alright, two can play at this" said Goro, preparing a little thing he had picked up from Iwai prior to the trip.
"Hewwo and welcome to da sushi shop! uwu" greeted the attendant. A look at the nametag on the sushi clerk read "Orin". "Hi yes let me get uhhhhhhhhhh…." droned Cesaro. Cesaro had no experience with sushi, as the WWE catering never included sushi, except for the times it did, while Cesaro was not there. "Do you need some help?" asked Akira, to the delight of the dumbfounded Cesaro. "Yes please just order for me, I do not know what to get!" After a moment of discussion, Orin the sushi clerk said ":(" "What are you sad about?" asked Cesaro. "Its just that this fanfiction is taking 5ever!" "You cant rush greatness" a voice from nowhere said.
The two ended up ordering "The Publix special sushi" and started walking to the exit when they heard a commotion at the front of the store. Upon further inspection, it was none other than Mr. Third Wheel Goro "Cucked" Akechi.
"Listen up! If that bald headed studman does not return my beloved, you are all gonna turn to ash!" "Dude wtf" said Akira, "No I'm into cesaro, blow them up if you gotta." A loud ":(" could be heard throughout the shop, much to the dismay of Goro. "Alright, y'all asked for it!" said Goro, pressing a scary red button. To the relief of the entire grocery store, nothing happened. "It didn't work?" asked Goro. "Did you get it from Iwai?" asked Akira. "Yeah why?" asked Goro in return. "It's a model you silly billy! Now lets skedaddle before the police show up." Akira, Goro, and Cesaro then proceeded to skedaddle. "Rats!" cried out Morgana, who was entirely distracted by the ensuing chaos to actually do anything and sprinted out with the running men.
The three finally arrived to the Phantom Thieves hideout in a Hilton Hotel. "Hey Joker, whats up?" asked Ryuji. "Who is that giant bald guy?" asked Makoto. "Hi, I'm WWE Superstar Cesaro." Replied Cesaro. "Hey, do we still have those Taco Bell leftovers from a while back?" asked Akira. "Yeah, but its three days old, are you sure you wanna eat that?" replied Makoto. "Yes" replied Akira. He took a bite and proceeded to pass out on the bed.
The End 4 now.