I actually finished this last night at 2 am my time. Didn't upload so deleted it. Got the "new chapter posted" mail at 4:30 am obviously by then it was well gone. So trying again. Hope it works now! Also made a cover for the fanfic when i waited for it to maybe work last night. Probs my worst photoshop work to date but its fine.

A/N: So, I took a break from everything creative. Drawing, writing, photography, video, everything really, and just enjoyed my small holiday for a few weeks. Now I'm back ish, but I have a traveling video to edit and some drawings that need finishing so Idk how consistent my writing will be. We'll see. I am also really taking my time with this chapter. I need to get back to the flow again so just taking my time and having a good time. But by all means, if you have any suggestions and stuff please, please PM me. Also big thanks to everyone how have left a review, favorited and followed. Very appreciated. (18-21.7.19)

It's really annoying having to do two chapters and not one long chapter, but it's fine. It's what was right, sadly. But oh well.

Also, yes Wanda Natasha moment will come, and it will be amazing and adorbs. I have an idea but I kinda need this chapter to introduce that idea and THEN it will happen. I think this will be a long chapter just a warning. I'm already 2k words into this chapter when I'm writing this/when I decided I needed to make two parts. Feel free to PM me or review telling me if or if not, you prefer the longer chapters (this is 4k words and would have been 7k if it was combined as it originally was planned). If you don't count that one short 1k chapter my normal chapters are around 2,7k words on average. Personally, I love reading and prefer the longer chapters, but I know a lot of people like them around 2,5k words (08.07.19)

S-B

Pepper let out a loud sigh as she heard the door lock behind her. She walked over to Natasha's desk and put down her tray of food and the bag with the first aid equipment. She looked at the woman in the bed and let out a sigh. She seemed to be sleeping still. She was happy Natasha got to sleep in a bit. It was pretty clear the spy needed it.

Pepper sat down on the chair slowly starting to eat her breakfast. Her tea was lukewarm, almost cold at this point, but she didn't care. She could hear some knocks on the door but chose to ignore them.

Pepper was just finishing her food when her phone started to buzz. To her surprise, she saw Laura Barton's name flash on her screen. The women had exchanged numbers just before the family had left the city in case they would ever need something.

"Hallo?" Pepper said into the phone with a low and calm voice as she cleaned herself up after the meal.

"Oh, thank goodness you answered. I've tried Natasha's phone maybe 5 times, every time just voicemail." Pepper could hear the relief in Laura's voice. She should have guessed it was about Natasha.

"So, what do you already know, and what do you want to know?" Pepper said with a small smile.

"To be honest I just wanted to know if she is okay. Steve called Clint just now. He didn't say much, just that she came home last night and her door is locked. I know she usually prefers to isolate herself for the first 24 hours, but he told us you are with her. And don't take this the wrong way, I am happy you are with her, but if she wants you there, that means it's worse than normal, doesn't it?". Laura's voice faded and Pepper heard the worried tone her voice.

"Yeah, she came home around 2 am. She, or Friday, texted me when she got home so I went to check up on her. She seemed more or less fine. She was tired, of course. At first, she wasn't too happy when I started fussing, but she gave in, eventually. She has some minor cuts and scrapes all, a very bruised ankle, a pretty ugly wound on her shoulder and a cut over her eye. She let me look at her, and I patched her up as well as I could." Pepper explained to the other woman. On the other end she could hear Laura whisper something to Clint who was probably right beside her at his point.

"She is fine, she just locked herself in the room. Pepper is with her and looked at her when she came home...Yes, Natasha let her help her … how am I supposed to know? I am guessing she wasn't' protesting to much considering Pepper sound just fine."

Pepper let out a small chuckle as the couple continued to discuss.

"But, um, Laura." Pepper heard Laura cut Clint off the second Pepper said her name.

"Yes." Laura's voice was serious, reflecting Pepper's own tone of voice.

"She drugged herself yesterday." Pepper knew Laura would know what she was signalizing, and she could hear Laura push Clint out of the room telling her it was some important girl talk they needed to discuss. In the distance, Pepper heard something about Steve. Oh boy, if he called Steve back now Pepper would lever get any peace.

Pepper heard a door closing before Laura spoke up.

"Yes, you were saying."

"She got her period yesterday, according to her. But it seems bad?" Pepper said with a low voice.

"How bad is "bad"?" Laura's answered questioning. Her voice sounded worried which Pepper didn't like.

"She seems to be in a lot of pain. She took some really strong painkillers, but even then she was in a lot of pain. It came gradually. At first, it wasn't noticeable at all. We slept two hours before she woke up rushing to the toilet throwing up. And it wasn't because of her period or injuries, it was purely because of the pain, and her body not handling it. She seems really affected by it. Even when she was exhausted and almost asleep, she kept crying out in pain. She seems like she in pain all the time "

"Pepper, this seems bad. Last time she was here when she had her period, I am guessing around 9 months ago, she did take some painkillers. Probably the same as the once she took now with you, but it wasn't close to throwing up because of pain. She locked herself in her room and she let me give her some soup and a heat bag, but no, nothing like you described."

Pepper and Laura sat in silence for a moment letting it all sink in.

"You know what it might be." Laura started making Pepper feeling a bit hopeful by the way Laura was talking.

"When I saw her a month ago, I noticed she had lost a lot of weight. And I don't know what kind of hell they put Wanda and Natasha through, but it might be possible they gave something to stop her period, and if not, she is might have lost enough wait for it to stop by itself."

"But she told me she was fine last month?"

"She might have been. I know it's not as bad every month. But it could also have been a lie and she didn't even have her period last month. If you already had helped with her injuries she might not have told you the truth just to spear you."

Pepper sat still letting it all sink in. What Laura said made sense. Natasha was stubborn and always did her best to take care of the people around her even if she was in pain herself. Telling a white lie to make Pepper worry less seemed like something she could have done.

Laura and Pepper kept on talking for a while. Laura knew Natasha better than anyone else at HQ. Pepper was even starting to wonder if she even knew her better than Clint. As they talked, she noticed Natasha tossing around in bed. Was it a nightmare or was it just a restless sleep?

"Eh, Laura, hang on." Pepper cut the other woman off as she slowly made her way over to the bed. As she got closer she noticed how Natasha was shaking.

"Natasha?" Pepper slowly tried shaking the woman carefully.

"Pepper, what is going on?" Pepper could faintly hear Laura on the other end of the line. She grabbed her phone fast putting it on speaker before she placed it on the nightstand.

"I… I'm not sure. She is shaking." Pepper said back with a worried voice. She didn't have any real experience with anything like this, except that one-time Tony had had a panic attack. But when that happened one of his suits had tried to kill her so her memory of anything other than the robot 3 inches from her face was faint. Was this a panic attack too?

It was like Laura was reading her mind slowly starting to instruct Pepper on what to do.

"Try waking her up, but careful. She might not be totally conscious. She had had a few panic attacks in the past. It typically involves shaking. But usually she is awake when it happens, it also doesn't happen out of the blue. It usually has something that triggers it." Laura's voice seemed calm, but Pepper was sure she heard Laura's voice almost failing on her a couple of times.

"Natasha. Please wake up honey." Pepper tried shaking her again this time with a bit more force. The girl didn't respond at all. If anything, it almost seemed worse. Her breathing got faster, and Pepper noticed how the sleeping girl was gasping after air now.

"Laura…" Pepper whispered. She didn't know what she was expecting the other woman to do. Still, Laura responded with a soft voice.

"It's okay Pepper. As long as you keep calm. Try to focus on your own breathing. When she wakes up she might not remember where she is, or what happened, so try to keep calm and talk to her. Make her think of something else." Pepper noticed how Laura said when she woke up meaning it hopefully would happen soon. Even if that was what Laura was trying to imply Pepper wasn't too convinced, but Laura seemed to be a bit more experienced in that field than her. She just hoped she was right.

Pepper kept Laura on the line just in case as she kept trying to wake the other woman. Pepper was starting to get scared of what would happen when she woke up.

Natasha was tossing around in the bed moving her body as she were in pain. Her breathing got faster as the time it went on. She would start hyperventilating if something didn't drastically change soon. Her body was twitching from time to time, making the small body seem like it was breaking in half.

"Natasha!" Pepper grabbed one of her legs trying to keep her from falling into a fetal position. The way her body was poisoned was blocking her airways and Pepper was desperately trying to keep her from falling into a completely unconscious state. Wrestling with the woman felt completely useless. Of course, she was stronger than her. She was Natasha flipping Romanoff.

"Natasha!" Pepper put her entire body weight on her to keep her still. She knew It wasn't ideal, but neither was hyperventilating. She let out a small yelp as she felt Natasha's nail dig into her arm.

Eventually, Pepper just gave up trying to wake her up. Instead, she curled up in bed beside her. She held around the other woman with her head resting against Natasha's back. She felt the other woman twitching and moving under her. Pepper listened to Natasha's fast desperate gasps after air and she couldn't help but feel completely useless.

On the other side of the line, Pepper could hear Laura ramble on about something. She had no idea what she was talking about and she knew it wasn't important. Laura was just doing it to calm her down. The CEO wasn't complaining. She was happy she was there, to help her if she needed and keep her grounded.

Pepper was lying with her eyes closed and was just listening to their woman while holding around Natisha like a protective blanket. Like Laura had suggested she tried to keep her breathing steady and calm. Laura was now talking about Lila. Something about dancing or… something.

Pepper hadn't felt this heartbroken and useless since Tony got kidnapped back in 2018. It felt like she had held around Natasha for hours and never seem to end. With her eyes closed, she just felt the other woman shake in her arms. Pepper didn't open her eyes before she felt a Natasha turn in her arms. To Pepper's surprise two very green eyes were staring at her when she opened her eyes.

"Why have you been crying?" Natasha's voice was completely calm. Nothing was showing any sign of any panic attacks or anything like that.

"I didn't realize I was." Pepper answered moving her right hand up to her face. She had in fact tears streaming down her cheeks. The two eyes were looking at her intensely and Natasha frowned when Pepper answered.

"Well then," Natasha replied still just staring at her.

"Good morning Natalia" Laura's voice was happy and cheerful. Pepper had forgotten Laura was still on the phone. Why was she so calm right now?

"Hi, Laura. Heard you talked about the kids." Natasha's said with softer in her tone in her voice.

"Yeah. Needed to talk about something right" Laura's voice was still cheerful, but Pepper noticed another frown from Natasha.

"Right" Natasha answered before she sat up in the bed. She threw a fast look at the note beside the glass of water. Slowly she popped open the box of painkillers as she read the note from Pepper. A small smile formed in the corner of her mouth, but it disappeared fast and got and she got her serious cold look back. She looked at Pepper again before she picked up the glass and swallowed the pill.

"I'm going to take a shower," Natasha mumbled before she limped over to the bathroom door.

"Right. I'm going to erm- go now" Pepper answered still stunned by everything. Natasha met her eyes and looked at her with a strict look.

"No. Stay. We need to talk afterward." Natasha said with a firm voice before she closed the door behind her.

"Pepper. You still there?" Laura's voice shook Pepper out of her thoughts.

"Eh, yeah. Sorry." Pepper voice was almost shaking, and she didn't trust her voice to keep talking. Thankfully Laura got the idea and started to explain before she even asked.

"Natasha is a complicated human being. When episodes like this happen she sometimes loses herself in the process. She doesn't know what happened and has no memory from the episode. In her head, it didn't happen. That's why she didn't mention it when she woke up. Not because she didn't want to address it, but because she wasn't aware it happened in the first place. What she woke up too wasn't a Pepper who had tried to wake her up and kept her from hyperextending the last 40 minutes. It's just with a red face owned by someone who has been crying. Not making the situation any better, that person who had been crying was you." Laura talked slowly with a calm voice to make sure Pepper was getting all of what she was saying.

Pepper felt like a small kid back in first grade, having no idea what was happening or what Laura was saying.

"What do you mean?"

"Natasha doesn't know what happened. She only knows that you have been crying. And she has no memory from what might have caused it. That means that her system is trying to figure out what happened and why it happened. Something made you hurt. And because she cares about you, and you're hurt, … well, it makes her…hurt.

"But what about what you said. And her frown. When you talked about Lila."

"I think Natasha caught on pretty quick. It's only so many things that make her blackout like this. I think that's why she mentioned that I talked about the kids in the first place. Me ranting about everything and everyone is how I used to calm her down back when. It was like a confirmation. She felt something was wrong but didn't exactly know what. That's why she asked. And I confirmed."

"Oh" Pepper didn't realize that this had happened so frequently that Laura had figured out what to talk about to calm her down.

"Of course, it wasn't quite like this back then. As I said, it was more triggered based. Like a knife or a sentence or word that could've reminded her of her past of, or something else. And again she was always awake. It never happened in her sleep." Laura continued. Pepper realized Laura was probably just ranting to calm her down and to prevent her from overthink everything. And it worked way better than expected.

"Thank you, Laura. I am so happy you called. I don't know what I've would have done without you." She let out a small chuckle. And while she laughed, she really meant it.

"Well if you ever need to talk, you are always welcome to call me, or visit, if you want." Laura's voice was calm and welcoming, but Pepper was surprised by the offer.

The two women talked for about 20 minutes before Pepper heard the bathroom door unlock. Laura excused herself before hanging up her phone wishing Pepper good luck.

While she waited Pepper was thinking about what Laura had said. Her thoughts got interrupted when Natasha walked out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel. She didn't say anything just picked out some sweatpants and a tank top. The woman was casually moving around in the room without looking at the other woman.

She looked a bit better now. Partly because she wasn't partly covered in blood and dirt anymore. Pepper noticed how Natasha hadn't even bothered to take off the bandage on her shoulder and it was now just soaked in water and blood. She was still limping quite heavily, maybe a bit less than yesterday. Still, it didn't look too good.

Pepper watched as Natasha sat down on the bed with a loud sight. She lifted her right foot and held around her ankle and Pepper could see the discomfort in her eyes.

"I have an icepack if you want?" Pepper said carefully. Natasha lifted her head and looked at the CEO for a second before saying.

"I would love one, thanks." Pepper nodded before walking over to the desk grabbing the bag with the first aid equipment she had gotten earlier. She smiled at Natasha's kind voice. While she had seemed a bit stressed earlier she was now back to her collected in controlled self. Pepper always got surprised by Natasha's polite nature. While she sometimes could seem cold or a bit short, she was always so polite. And if you thought about it, every time Natasha, or "the black widow" had ever seemed rude she never really was. It was always well thought out solutions, always in the best manners.

Pepper walked over to Natasha with the icepack. She had no idea if Natasha would let her take care of her or not, but she tired. She placed her hands on Natasha's looking at her before she opened the spy's grip around the injured ankle. The spy looked at. And if Pepper hadn't known any better it almost seemed worried and… sad. But Pepper knew better. Right?

Nether of theme talked during the process. Natasha didn't push her away when she started to look at some of the minor cuts and the one over her eyes. She just sat quietly and watched. Pepper could swear she had seen Natasha throw a few glances at her, but she wasn't sure. Natasha didn't speak before Pepper was halfway through unwrapping her shoulder.

"I'm sorry." Natasha's voice was quiet, and Pepper almost dropped the scissors when she heard Natasha.

"Natasha! What are you talking about?" Pepper looked at the other woman with a troubled look.

"I'm sorry. I've never should have let this happen. And I should never have let you ever have to deal with this situation. I…I'm sorry" Pepper listened as Natasha's voice cracked.

"I… I don't know what happened, I mean all I know was that I woke up seeing you crying…and I am sorry I hurt you. And I'm sorry I put you in this stressful situation. I didn't think it would happen. If I did, I would have explained. And I would make sure you never would have been here in the first place. I'm sorry." Pepper had lost count on how many times Natasha had said I'm sorry. She could honestly not believe this girl was excusing herself right now.

"Nat. Stop. You didn't do anything wrong. And I am happy I was here. I can't even imagen you having to deal with this alone. Natasha, what happened is nothing you can control. And you can't possibly blame yourself. You shouldn't have to deal with this alone. Sure, it was a bit stressful, but now I have learned what to do and not to do next time it happened. And I had Laura." Pepper could see Natasha wanting to protest but she cut her off before she could.

"Nat, I'm fine!" Natasha nodded and Pepper dragged her into a hug. She looked down at the smaller woman and she could swear she could see some of Natasha's worry disappear from her eyes.

"I…I just think I need to take a break from everything," Natasha said with a low voice.

"Actually, I have an idea in mind," Pepper said with a small smile.

"I need to talk with Wanda, but I am down for anything right now. Everything that's not here and not SHIELD" Natasha said with a small sight.

"You are okay with her joining right?"

"Of course! Let me just finish your shoulder and I'll make the call." Swiftly she finished the shoulder before she helped Natasha into some clothes. After that Pepper cleaned up the mess around in the room and put all the new first aid equipment into their new kits. In the meantime, Natasha was texting Wanda letting her know she wanted to talk to her. It took the girl 40 seconds from Natasha sent the text to Wanda knocking on the door.

Pepper let out a small laugh when she heard Wanda's intense knocking. And for the first time since Pepper walked into the room last night Natasha smiled.

Dropping the icepacks she had in her hand the CEO stood up and walked over to the door to let her in. The second she unlocked and opened Wanda was inside the room. She almost jumped her mentor, but Pepper watched as she controlled herself and stopped as she saw Natasha's tired face.

Wanda's voice was soft when she sat down beside Natasha and asked.

"Are you okay?" Natasha nodded before she started to talk about the mission. Pepper could tell she was avoiding today's events.

Wanting to give them their privacy Pepper walked down the hall to make her calls. With her phone close to her ear waiting for someone to pick up she made her way to one of the smaller common rooms. Behind her, she could hear Natasha and Wanda talking.

"Yeah, hi. Tony, I need you to get someone to work for me the next week or so. I need a week off… No, I am fine. I just really need a holiday, to be honest… Yeah no, I really need this. I am sure you'll find someone, or just get Happy on the case….Thank you." Pepper smiled as Tony hung up. She dialed another number and smiled when she heard the other voice at the other end.

"Yeah hi, Laura!"

A/N: Yay. Honestly really like how this turned out. Hope you like it as well. Again PM if you want to see anything particular.

S-B Again.