Tsunami adjusted her new chuunin vest as she walked toward the meeting room, anger simmering inside her. On the one hand, she was looking forward to chewing strips off the jerk waiting inside for her. On the other hand, she didn't think he deserved the chance she was giving him. Ultimately, however, Hinata had asked her to do this and she felt she owed her teammate. She had talked to her friend as Menma several times now and she knew that Hinata found it disconcerting. Her public persona as Menma was different enough from her public persona as Naruto during her Academy years that the Hyuuga had a hard time seeing the two as the same person, even though she knew it was true.
She paused in front of the door to the meeting room and fixed a scowl on her face. It wasn't hard. She genuinely didn't like the brat she was about to meet. By now he had been stewing in the room for about fifteen minutes. She had considered going full Kakashi on him and showing up hours late, but as a chuunin she didn't have the leeway that one of the top jounin in the village did and he could have left without any repercussion.
As she opened the door, she noted that the Hyuuga was in the process of approaching the door. The self-important brat was about to leave. The room contained a desk with a high-back seat and a plain chair in front of the desk.
She glared at him. "Return to your seat Genin Hyuuga-san."
The Hyuuga glared back at her, but returned to the seat that faced the desk without comment.
Tsunami sat at the desk and steepled her hands while leaning forward over the desk. She stared at him and just as he opened his mouth to speak, she said, "Do you know why you are here, Genin Hyuuga-san?"
He sneered at her. "The Main House has asked for more favoritism and has received it—although usually they would get more than a green chuunin."
"No," she said firmly. She let him stew before adding. "You are here because your cousin is a kind young woman." The brat's sneer deepened. "She has asked me to intervene on your behalf, even though you don't deserve it. The Hokage likes me and so she granted me this interview against her better judgement."
The brat scoffed.
She arched an eyebrow at him. "The jounin agree with me or one of them would be telling you the reason that you'll never advance beyond genin and that you'll be doing D ranks until you quit the Shinobi Forces out of frustration."
He scoffed again.
"You think being a so-called genius of the Gentle Fist will protect you?" Tsunami said archly. "Konoha does not need another Itachi."
For the first time in the interview the brat actually stopped and thought about what Tsunami was saying.
"And for your information," Tsunami added once she knew he was paying attention, "this is not about the jounin sensei stopping you from nearly becoming another kinslayer—which by the way, they did for your benefit and not just Hinata-chan's. If you had killed another Konoha shinobi you would have been court martialed and had your chakra bound. From what Kurenai-sensei told me, it's likely the Hyuuga clan would have had you killed to stop you from being an embarrassment."
Confusion reigned on his face. "But Hinata-sama is the embarrassment! A clan elder suggested I take care of her in the exams where it is explicitly legal."
Tsunami sighed. "Yes, you wouldn't have been charged with murder if you had killed her in the exams, however, you would have been kicked out of the Shinobi Forces for Conduct Unbecoming and had your chakra bound to stop you from going missing nin. You didn't even try to make it look like an accident; you were going to kill another Konoha shinobi over a petty grudge. It's likely that the same elder would have arranged for you to 'have an accident.'"
The brat flushed red. "It's not a petty grudge!" he yelled.
She arched an eyebrow. "Isn't it?"
"It's her fault that my father was sacrificed to Kumo!"
"How is it her fault?"
"If she hadn't gotten kidnapped and her father hadn't killed the ambassador…"
Tsunami sighed. "How old was she?"
"Three…"
"You expect a three-year old to fight off a jounin-class shinobi?" Tsunami asked archly.
He turned away, embarrassed.
"Have you ever asked yourself why some of your clan elders want her removed from being the clan heir?" Tsunami asked once he looked at her again.
"It's because she's weak," he said with a sneer, back on familiar territory.
"Have you ever thought about why your elders think she's weak?" she asked exasperatedly.
"She lacks talent and the drive to be a shinobi!" he practically yelled at her.
"And yet she nearly kept up with you during your fight despite not having your advantages."
"My advantages!?" he yelled. "She is Main House! She has all the advantages!"
Tsunami stared at him. "When was the last time she received any training from any Hyuuga?"
He turned away again.
"It's been years, hasn't it?" Tsunami asked.
When he refused to meet her gaze at all, Tsunami said, "I will tell you the reason the Hyuuga elders want her removed. It is because she is kind. Her fall from favor started when she refused to hurt her little sister during training."
"Kindness has no place among shinobi!" the brat exclaimed.
"Are we shinobi all the time?" Tsunami asked. "Perhaps kindness has no place on certain types of shinobi missions—at least for our targets, but I would argue that kindness is very important to family and it is certainly not antithetical to the Will of Fire. Did you know that one of Hinata-chan's biggest goals is to return the Hyuuga clan to being a family? As someone who complains about the disadvantages the Hyuuga Branch has, you'd think you'd stop trying to kill your biggest supporter in the Main House. For a supposed genius, you have been played like a fiddle by your enemies."
Tsunami stood up and shook her head. "Frankly, I don't think you're worth it, but Hinata-chan wants her 'big brother' back if she can manage it. If you can't wrap your feeble mind around the concept of not working against your best interest, you should know that if you ever hurt Hinata-chan like that again, they will never find your body."
She glared at him like he was dirt and then walked out of the room without looking back.
XXXXXXX
Naruto raced into the Valley of the End. Up ahead of her, she could see her errant comrade stumbling towards the giant statues of the Shodai and Uchiha Madara. His sojourn in the barrel that the Oto shinobi had put him in had done a number on him. It had been a long chase with various of her companions being peeled off to face the various Oto shinobi. She had left Shadow Clones behind with them in order to help.
Due to a bluff, that unfortunately Orochimaru had called, most of Konoha's Shinobi Forces were engaged in missions in order to disguise just how badly the invasion had hurt the village. The only ones available to chase after Sasuke were herself, a brand new chuunin who had not yet been given an assignment, and whatever help she could scrounge up. The help she could find had amounted to some of her friends from the Academy who were now genin and Hinata's cousin's team. The jerk had actually started to change his attitude since she had talked to him—which frankly amazed her. She had not expected him to listen.
Sasuke had incapacitated Kiba, who had tried to stop him from leaving. The Inuzuka had managed to warn the village, but was unable to help further. The Uchiha had met up with the "Sound Four," the shinobi who had anchored the purple wall that the Snake had trapped the Sandaime behind during the invasion. The Sound Four had sealed him in a barrel. Once the Konoha retrieval party had caught up, Chouji and Ino had tackled the fat one, Neji the six-armed one, Shikamaru and Sakura the foul-mouthed woman, and Lee and Tenten the remaining one (who had turned out to be two who shared a body or something similar). She herself had faced a shinobi that used blades that he grew from his bones. He could have been formidable, but she had snared him with an Adamantine Sealing Chain Seal. The shinobi had then used some type of "ultimate technique" that had caused him to explode into a flurry of bone projections, but her seal had contained it. Sasuke had escaped from the barrel during her confrontation with the bone wielder and run off.
She also knew from her clones that all her companions were okay and had defeated their foes, although it was touch and go for Chouji due to him taking one of his clan's special pills. Also due to her clones, she knew that backup in the form of Kakashi was about fifteen minutes away.
"Sasuke-kun!" she called out. "Stop!"
He turned to face her. "Tsunami-san, you off all people should know why I have to leave Konoha. I have to get stronger than him—so that I can avenge my clan and your brother."
She stared at him incredulously. "And you think Orochimaru will help you get stronger!?"
"He has promised me the power to defeat him," Sasuke growled.
Tsunami shook her head. "Itachi is stronger than Orochimaru. What makes you think that submitting to the Snake will help you achieve your goals?"
"Orochimaru is stronger than Konoha," he said. "He killed the Hokage. Better to be with him than Konoha, which couldn't even protect your brother."
Naruto laughed. "Orochimaru engineered a confrontation on his terms and managed to kill a Hokage that had retired and been forced to come out of retirement and came out of the engagement crippled."
"That just means that Konoha had no one better!"
She shook her head. "Jiraiya-san is stronger than both the Sandaime and Orochimaru were, he just doesn't have the leadership quality to be Hokage, which is why Tsunade-sama was chosen as Godaime."
"Were?" Sasuke said. "You speak of Orochimaru-san in the past tense."
"As I said, Orochimaru fled from his battle with the Sandaime crippled. It's possible he could recover, but after today his support base will be completely destroyed and I find it unlikely." She stared at him. "He needs you as much as you imagine you need him. There are indications that the Snake has sought immortality through body theft. He doesn't intend to teach you; he intends to use you—quite literally."
Sasuke grunted. "Regardless, I can't stay in Konoha. It has completely failed to protect those I care about. My family, your brother… I don't expect any of my teammates to live longer than a couple of years."
She sighed. "You have two goals, right?"
"What?"
"You told Naruto that you wanted to avenge your clan and rebuild it. How are you going to rebuild the Uchiha clan as a missing nin?"
"That goal is clearly secondary," Sasuke said. "I can't rebuild it until he is dead or he will kill them just like he did your brother."
"You think Itachi killed Naruto because of you?" she said with a snort.
He frowned. "Why else would he go after Naruto-san?"
"Do you remember the weapon Naruto told he had inherited?" she asked.
He looked at her sharply, but nodded.
"Itachi belongs to a group called Akatsuki that is after that weapon and similar ones," she explained. "That is why he was after Naruto."
"How could you possibly know that?" Sasuke asked. "You were out of the village and there were no witnesses to their confrontation other than his partner."
"Jiraya-san told me about Akatsuki and their goals," she explained.
"You know something more," he accused.
Naruto had been tempted since his funeral to tell Sasuke and possibly Kakashi about her double life. However, she had never worked up the nerve to do so.
She shook her head. "I can't tell you if you're going to be leaving the village. It would be too dangerous for me."
Sasuke growled. "You have to tell me what you know about him."
She shook her head. "It's not about Itachi; it's about Naruto and myself."
Sasuke turned away. "I can't stay. Konoha is too weak."
Tsunami sighed. "Sasuke-kun, Konoha just fought off a surprise attack by two villages where the attackers had extensively infiltrated the village. Konoha is not weak."
Sasuke looked at her in shock. He evidently had not thought about it in those terms.
"It's true that Konoha currently only has two S-rank shinobi in the Hokage and Jiraiya-san, but no village has many. They are S-rank for a reason."
"Maybe I should look outside the villages then," Sasuke reasoned.
"S-rank are even rarer outside the villages," she stated, "and most of those that do exist belong to the same organization as your brother."
Sasuke scowled.
"But you're missing the point," she continued. "The villages are stronger than the missing nin because they work together. The Will of Fire is real and is the reason Konoha is the strongest shinobi village. Some of the other villages look down on us, but it's Konoha's teamwork that makes us strong. You don't have to do it alone."
"It's my vengeance!" Sasuke snarled. "I have to do it myself! Don't you want vengeance for your brother?"
Naruto was again tempted to tell her friend what had really happened. She could tell that her words had had an effect on him and he was on the verge of changing his mind. She was almost positive she could overpower him, especially in his current state, but it was better if he decided to return on his own. Finally, she gave in.
"You can't tell anyone," she said. "I can't risk word getting back to Itachi and his fellows." She stared Sasuke in the eyes. "Naruto isn't dead."
"What!?" he shouted. "You let me mourn him and he isn't dead!? How did he escape him?"
"It's simple," she explained. "First of all, Naruto was never in the apartment when Itachi came. A Shadow Clone was there instead."
"A Shadow Clone?" Sasuke groused. "Why was he using a Shadow Clone in his own home?"
"Because he wasn't in the village in the first place. The Shadow Clone was left behind to fill the seal orders that we had coming up."
"Menma!" Sasuke exclaimed. "Menma-san is really Naruto-san. With that disguise, he wouldn't be seeking him and Naruto-san would be safer."
Tsunami smiled wryly and nodded. "That was the second point," Although Sasuke wasn't the genius that Itachi was, he was still intelligent enough to be Rookie of the Year for their graduating Academy class.
"But Menma wasn't with you when you left?" he groused.
She thought about giving an excuse for how "Naruto" had left the village—it wouldn't be hard considering Naruto's reputation for sneakiness, but decided not to lie to her friend. "Menma is not Naruto's only disguise."
He stared at her sharply.
She smiled at him whimsically and transformed into his birth form. "Sorry, Sasuke-kun, but there never was a 'real' Tsunami any more than there is a 'real' Menma."
"Naruto-san?" he asked, confused.
He nodded. "Tsunami and Menma are both figments of my imagination. Tools for me to escape my unearned notoriety."
"But… how?"
"An undocumented transformation bloodline ability I inherited from my mother, talent at Replacement, seals to make Shadow Clones last longer, and shear awesomeness," Naruto explained with a foxy grin.
Sasuke grunted. "You decided to prank the village and didn't know when to stop."
Naruto's grin widened. "Stop a prank? Why would I stop a prank that's working?"
Sasuke grunted again. "But becoming a girl? Isn't that too extreme?"
Naruto shrugged and transformed back into Tsunami. Kakashi had almost caught up with them. She wasn't ready to let old one-eye onto her secret. He had abandoned her for most of her childhood, just like her errant godfather.
"Being a girl isn't that bad," she said. "I got used to it. I actually think I would miss it just as much as I would miss being a boy if I stopped changing. Yes, menstruating is gross, but the friendships I made with my teammates make up for it." Inter-boy friendships and inter-girl friendships were different for a reason she didn't completely understand. She liked both types.
Sauske blanched and said, "Too much information."
The silence grew more awkward until Sasuke timidly asked under a heavy blush, "What about sex?"
Naruto blanched. No one was sticking anything in there. "I've been avoiding thinking about that."
"Well, you are only thirteen," Sasuke said with a smirk.
"Don't make me regret telling you, Sasuke-kun," she growled.
His smirk only grew.
She glared at him. "Don't make me get creative, Uchiha-san," she said. "You wouldn't like me when I'm creative."
He blanched.
"I wonder what interesting tidbits I could leak to the fangirls?" she said in faux thoughtfulness.
He blanched paler.
She started back toward Konoha.
He trailed after her. "Tsunami-san? Truce, Tsunami-san! Please?!"
Author's Note: The confrontation with Sasuke in the Valley of the end had been planned ever since Naruto joined Kakashi's team for sparring as a kind of parting shot to the main part of the story. The confrontation with Neji was added at the last minute as I thought about the differences between canon and this story vis a vis the Exam Finals and Invasion. Poor Gaara misses out on his dose of "Talk no Jutsu." :( The original title of the Coda was going to be "Tsunami vs. the Two Idiot Geniuses."
For those hoping for a sequel, the title of the epilogue is going to be "Nine Years Later." Unfortunately, my desire to write another Shippudden fic on top of Double the Trouble and The Rabbit Ascending is low.