A/N: Crap tone of time jumps. As a reminder, Natasha's birthday is April 10th and Tony's is on the 29th of May.

Okay finally able to start on my new fanfic because now we are introducing that part of the fanfic. If you don't know I have a new fanfiction idea which hopefully will get published sometime next week? Another POV but in the same timeline which I think is going to be exciting. It will be more like Bulletproof if you are familiar with that one. About 2,5k word chapter with fewer time jumps than this fanfic. I was honestly not planning on having this many chapters in NFFH but as you guys can tell were far from finished. It will probably end around Nat's birth aka after Age of Ultron.

Disclaimer I won't include Civil War events and everything after. The reason being I like the team as a team in this timeline. Don't get me wrong I LOVE Civil war, Infinity War and Endgame but for me, that part of the timeline will always be excluded in my fanfics.

S-B

Laura didn't sleep much that night. She couldn't help but think about Natasha. It was a lot of things that seemed off with her behavior. She had left them all without any clue of what was happening and what she was doing. Laura was very aware that SHIELD was working with classified information, but both Clint and Natasha both used to talk pretty openly about their missions.

Natasha was maybe trained and raised as a cold-hearted assassin, but she wasn't like that anymore. Laura knew Natasha was a caring, loving person. What Laura saw in Natasha's eyes was pain. The kind of pain she hadn't seen since she had met her for the first time. Whatever had happened the last few months had hurt her in ways Laura didn't know.

Laura was awake and feeding the kids at 6 in the morning the next day. She swore it was a completely sleepless night, which she wasn't too fond of. Still, Cooper and Lila were both in a happy mood and Laura found herself in a better mood than she expected. Which was a good thing for sure.

Annie was at her door precisely 8:30. Her kind smile warmed Laura's heart. Thank god for friendships.

"Ready for a fun day with Caspar and Lucie?" Annie kneeled down at Cooper's height and the boy laughed.

"Yes!" Cooper bounced up and down while Laura tried to get his jacket on. Which she soon just gave up on.

"Well, Kent is by the car outside," Annie said and almost before she had finished her sentence Cooper was out the door. Cooper was a pretty introverted child and he didn't have many friends at school, but Caspar was a good friend of his. Caspar was older than Cooper and was in theory supposed to be a grade higher than Cooper. But being the child of Laura and Clint none of them felt bad for letting him start a year early in element school. He had always been smart for his age.

"Everything okay Laura?" Annie asked softly while Laura handed her the diaper bag and a few extra bottles of pumped milk. Laura looked back at her hesitantly as Annie picked Lila up.

"I know you would have never asked me to watch your 8-month-old if it wasn't bad. What's up?" Annie pushed again making Laura's stomach twist.

"Stroller is in-"

"I know, Laura. Kent already got it. Tell me." Annie demanded, looking at her with a strict look.

"A close friend is hurt, and she came home last night. It just requires a lot of attention since Clint is gone." Laura said with a small halfhearted smile.

"Clint's job is something that's for sure..." Annie asked. For everyone else, Laura was just a wife to a military guy who happened to be sent on a lot of missions. Laura nodded before thanking her yet again for taking the children for the day. The plan was to drop them off around 6 pm after dinner so Laura didn't need to deal with that either. She had also updated Clint and he was on his way home as well. He probably wouldn't be home before after midnight, but at least she wasn't alone anymore right.

Laura closed the door behind Annie before she dragged herself upstairs. She was walking on autopilot as she crawled back into bed next to Natasha and before falling asleep.

Laura woke up by a piercing cry and shot up the exact same time Natasha threw herself up from the bed eyes wide open filled with panic.

"Natasha? Natasha!" Laura kicked her way out of the duvet and made her way over to the redhead. "Shh, Talia. It's okay." Laura wrapped her arms around her and let her head lean on the woman's right shoulder while locking her arms so she wouldn't throw them around in panic.

"It's okay," Laura whispered moving her thumb in circles on Natasha's shoulder. Natasha was shaking and breathing heavily but she didn't fight it and she could feel her slowly forcing herself to calm down. Laura pulled back and looked at Natasha. The green eyes locked with hers and Laura could see the pain in her eyes.

"He found me. And took me. Like he did when I was 16." Natasha's voice drifted as she looked at the mom. Laura pulled her into another hug before she whispered.

"Never. You are always safe here." She could feel Natasha nod slowly still hugging tightly around the older woman. Natasha hid her face in Laura's neck and Laura could tell she was stressed. Whatever had happened the last few months wasn't something to take lightly.

"Hungry?" Laura said with a soft voice as she pulled back. Natasha didn't have time to answer before her stomach let out a loud sound and Natasha hugged it with a small smile.

"I guess so."

Laura and Natasha worked around in the kitchen in silence. Laura watched Natasha flip a pancake effortlessly making it rotate at least twice in the air.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Laura asked causally not wanting to push Natasha too much. Natasha turned around and looked at her while she carefully slipped the pancake down on the plate.

"It's not much to talk about too be honest. I tried to go after him. I knew I wouldn't succeed. Of course, I wouldn't. I won't find him, but he won't find me either. We're both trained that way." Natasha let out a small sight before sat down by the table handing Laura a pancake.

"He is, again just like me, was trained, brainwashed, to do something against our nature. Me going after him was a dead end." Laura watched the other woman talk with caution. She seemed so defeated.

"I would have called, you know I would, but going after him lead me back… back to Russia. I don't trust anything there. Calling had a risk I wasn't willing to take." Natasha explained. Laura was passed needing an explanation at this point. She could tell Natasha felt realty bad and had already too much on her mind wearing her out.

"It's okay Talia. It was hard, and I missed you. But knowing you're safe now helps." Laura said with a small smile. The other woman looked at her and smiled softly.

"I need to go back soon Laura," Natasha said with her head down. Laura felt her heart sink. She knew Natasha had to. But she didn't want to believe it. She had just come home and boy how she wished she could stay.

But as always Laura's wishes didn't matter, and Natasha left the next day. She had already pulled a lot of stings coming home instead of going back to SHIELD right away. Maria had apparently a really important mission she wanted Natasha on sooner rather than later.

Laura was curious about this new mission and she hoped Natasha was going to update her on whatever this was. Even Natasha had seemed confused when she had read out the email for Laura. As much as she wanted to know Laura didn't have much time to wonder. Having Clint back home with both her kids took most of her time and energy, not that she was complaining. It was some well-needed family time for sure.

Clint was putting Cooper in bed and Laura had just finished the dishes when her phone rang.

"Natasha?" Laura said with a surprised tone as she picked up her phone. She did not expect a call this early on.

"Oh, THANK GOD. I just need to rant, and I need you to just shut up and listen to me because I need this." Natasha started with a frustrated tone.

"Okay?" Laura answered slowly not quite sure where this conversation was going.

"I got asked to babysit TONY STARK!" Laura opened her mouth to say something but closed it fast when she remembered what Natasha had just said.

"They want me to look after him. As his personal assistant for an evaluation. I mean are you fucking you kidding me. He is like a baby, just in an adult body. With a huge metal armor around him. This is insane." Laura let out a small giggle listening to her master spy complain about this multi-billionaire.

"I just really don't want to do this" Natasha mumbled into the phone which a sight. "I just want to come home" Laura smiled softly while listening to Natasha. God, she wanted her home as well.

"It's not that bad Natasha. You'll be able to walk around in Tony's mansions and probably drive one of his cars. It can't be that bad." Laura said with a soft voice. She knew Natasha probably preferred to be out in the field rather than being a millionaire's PA, but it just had to do.

"Promise me to update me?" Laura asked when Natasha told her she had to go.

"Oh, boy believe me. You're the first to know." She replied before she hung up. Laura smiled at her phone. She didn't want to say it to Natasha, but part of her was relieved she was sent somewhere partly safe instead of a warzone, even if that's what Natasha wanted.

This new mission was definitely something different that was for sure. While both Clint and Natasha had done babysitting missions before this one seemed weird. Natasha was somehow hired at Stark industries. Or Natalie was hired at Stark industries. Already on her first day, Tony had been attacked by this whip, lightning, electrical dude while almost killing himself in a car race at the same time. Natasha had been forced to only watch on the sideline to not blow her own cover.

Unlike her other missions, she could contact and call Laura and Clint as much as she wanted and soon Laura was bombarded with messages about how pathetic Tony was.

Laura sent a photo:

Laura: Cooper drew you this birthday card. Happy birthday Talia 3

Natasha: Thank you, Laura. And Cooper! I got the gift yesterday. Whatever it is I hope you were the one picked out the gift. While I love Clint's knives, I rather not get yet another set. Feel like the tree I already have is more I'll ever need…

Laura: It was a collective decision. Wasn't my first pick but I think it's pretty nice.

Natasha: I'll open later. If ill survive the day that is. Did you know Tony installed a fountain that can also get set on fire at one of the floors in New York and a matching one back in California? This guy is crazy.

Laura chuckled lightly. Poor Natasha. Tony kinda seemed like the biggest pain.

Time went on and Clint and Laura continued to go on as usual. Clint was sent on fewer missions recently because of some new recruits who were out getting their asses beaten by Maria as he had so nicely described it all.

Laura had just walked into the house and was just about to walk up the stairs when Clint yelled after her. "Laur, you gotta see this" Laura walked into the living room to find Clint watching the news. It was a reportage from California. Tony Stark had lost one of his suits to a military guy of some sort. The film clip showed his mansions with blown-out windows and big bulges in the walls and a reporter from the studio was recapping the whole event.

"Well, I guess Nat got her work cut out for her," Laura mumbled under her breath. She knew very little about Tony, but he seemed… interesting to say at least. She fished up her phone from the pocket and sent a short message.

Laura: Just saw the news. This guy just blew up his own house. What a crazy man.

Natasha: Actually, he and his best friend blew up his house because he was drunk and peed himself. Like I said. He's a baby. I'll give you more details later but right now I need to stab him with a needle.

Laura: Don't kill him, Natasha.

Natasha called a couple of days later to update Laura just like she had promised. The girl sounded tired, but happy, which was a good sign.

"So, tell me everything" Laura demanded with a grin on her face. She had been looking forward to this for ages. Nothing was quite like listening to Clint and Natasha's stories.

"Well, Tony just found out I am working for shield a few days ago. But he kept his mouth closed which I appreciate. Instead of being his PA I was offered. Or not offered, demanded to work with Stark industries new CEO's."

"Pepper Potts, right?"

"Yup. She is a lot easier to work with. A bit tight up. But she is nice…" Laura noticed how Natasha's voice drifted off. She just had to ask.

"Just nice. Or something else."

"Maybe something else. I don't know. What do you want me to answer? I mean you've seen her on TV, it's not like she is bad looking." Laura giggled into the phone. She had to agree though. Pepper was a very good-looking woman.

"What about Tony?"

"Well, my job is to gather classified information about him. Which I sorta already have."

"So why aren't you home with us?"

"Because Furry hasn't pulled me out yet. Guess he wants me to look after him a bit more. Not that I mind."

"Why don't you mind? I mind?! I want you back?!" Laura didn't mean to sound so rude and selfish. But it was true. Clint and Laura always talked about Natasha. She wasn't selfish usually, but sometimes she just wanted both of them to be home. Was that really that much to ask? Plus, now that Cooper was getting older and had practically grown up with her in his life, he missed her just as much. He didn't know what a mission was, he just knew he loved his Auntie Nat and Laura didn't know how to explain spy missions to a child when even she didn't quite know what was going on.

"Laura. Calm down. I'll be home in a few days. I'm forcing Pepper to take a weekend off and so will I. You can scold me as much as you'd like then. Okay?" Natasha let out a soft laugh, but Laura only mumbled something back making her laugh even more.

"What? Yeah, I'll be there in a moment, Miss Potts. I'll talk to you later. See you on Friday, Laura. Love you" and then she hung up. Damn it.

To add to Laura's frustration Natasha didn't come home that weekend. In fact, she didn't even call.

"Laura, calm down" Laura was walking back and forth in the living room while Clint was watching her phase.

"But what if something happened!" Laura snapped back. She looked at her phone. She had called Natasha maybe 10 times already and no answer. She was supposed to be here mid-Friday and now it was midnight to Sunday.

"Come on Laur. She is fine. It's Natasha. She got to be fine." Clint looked at her with a reassuring look. But Laura could tell he was starting to get anxious as well.

Laura: Natasha. Please call or text me!

Laura threw her phone hard on the couch and watched it bounce down on the floor. She didn't bother to pick it up. Just plopped down in a chair with a loud sight.

Both of them jumped up when Laura's phone vibrated. Laura threw herself out of the chair and picked her phone up with a shaking hand. She looked at it for longer than needed. And Clint said.

"Is it her. If so, why didn't she call?" Laura looked at her with a worried look.

"No. It's Pepper Potts, from Nat's phone."

Natasha: This is Pepper Potts. Natalie's boss. She is okay now but is currently in my apartment after she had a small incident. If you need to contact me here is my number.

"That's what it says," Laura said as she threw her husband a small look.

"Seems like Natasha hasn't told Pepper yet," Clint said with a thoughtful look.

"What do you mean?"

"Just that Pepper wrote Natalie. Which is her alias for this mission."

"What do you think has happened?" Laura whispered.

"Probably nothing too bad. I mean she is in Pepper's apartment. If she was really hurt or something she wouldn't be there." Clint said thoughtfully. Clint had a point. Pepper was with her. Natasha was now in her apartment, probably, hopefully, sleeping. But still.

Laura couldn't help herself when she quickly added Peppers's number into her phone. She was careful not writing her full name when she sent her the first message. She also had to correct herself when she wrote Natasha and not Natalie.

Laura: Hi. This is Laura, Natalie's friend. I am so sorry; I know it's late. But I just need to know if she is okay.

Pepper Potts: Hi Laura. She is getting better. Thursday, day, Natalie stumbled, claiming she was just a bit dizzy. Stubborn as she is, she told me she was fine but after a long day of work, she couldn't keep herself on her feet. She fainted Friday evening and has pretty much been out of it since then. Dizzy and nauseous. But she seems to get better. I'm sorry I haven't contacted you earlier, Laura. You seem to care about her since you call at least 8 times the last hours. Considering how close you seem to be with her, I get your worries.

Laura looked at the last sentence a few times. It seemed odd, almost out of place.

Laura: thank you for updating us. My husband and I have been worried sick. She was supposed to visit us this weekend. Now we know why she didn't come. Thank you.

Pepper Potts: Oh. Okay

"So. What did she say?" Clint asked when Laura walked into their bedroom.

"Natasha fainted yesterday. Claiming she was "dizzy". But I don't know, Clint. Dizzy. I've never heard her ever said she was dizzy before." Laura said before she laid down beside Clint.

"Yeah me neither. Didn't know a word like that even was in her vocabulary... But I am sure she's fine." Laura wanted to believe him. But she didn't. She knew Natasha could take care of herself. But that didn't mean she wouldn't worry. She could tell Clint was thinking the same. So that night both Clint and Laura kept their phone on and right by their side. Just in case.

Natasha came home three days later, late in the evening. Her eyes were tired, and she looked paler than usual. Still, she gave Cooper a big hug when she came home and put on a happy face just for him. She offered to put him to bed. But Laura and a feeling it was mainly because she wanted to avoid talking to Clint and her.

"Nat. Can I come in please?" Laura knocked softly on her door later that night. Natasha hadn't come downstairs after she put Cooper to bed and she just needed to be sure.

When she didn't get an answer, she slowly pushed the door open. Natasha sat by the window with her eyes closed and a book in her hand. She opened her eyes when Laura walked into the room.

"Hi," she said and turned around when Laura sat down on the end of her bed.

"You okay, Talia?" Laura looked at her with a serious face. She only nodded and hummed something that sounded like a yes.

"Natasha," Laura warned with a strict voice.

"I am fine, Laura. I was just tired. I..-" Laura cut her off, putting a hand up in the air.

"Natasha. I'm not doing this right now. Either you tell me the truth, or I'll leave. I don't want to waste my or your time by pretending I believe you when we both know I don't." Natasha only looked at her and Laura turned around before she walked towards the door.

"Laura" Laura stopped and turned around when Natasha called after her. Laura could already see the regret in her eyes.

"I'm sorry. I just don't know what happened. But I'm better now. I promise. Pepper took great care of me, Laur. I'm fine. You don't have to worry." Laura looked at Natasha. Her explanation was short. It didn't really say anything about what happened, and it was definitely not what Laura hoped for, but it was a start.

"And I am happy she took care of you. But I will always be worried about you. You are part of our family. We will always worry. But it's a good thing. You are such an important part of our life. A partner, an aunt, a friend. We need you. So, you just have to deal with us worrying. Okay?" Laura said as she dragged Natasha into a hug.

"Okay". Natasha whispered.

"Now tell me all about the life of Natalie Rushman?" Laura said with a small laugh dragging her onto the bed.

"I don't know where to start. Why don't you ask some more specific questions and I'll try to answer?" Natasha said with a warm smile.

"Do you have a nice office?"

"That's the first question?" Natasha laughed.

"Yes, now answer me," Laura said lightly hitting Natasha on the arm.

"Yes. But I spend most of my time in Pepper's office. She got a sitting area in the corner of her office. It's no point being in two different rooms when we need to talk to each other all the time anyway." Natasha shrugged but Laura noticed her small smirk.

"Tell me more about Pepper," Laura said leaning forward. She felt like a teenager again, trying to drag out information from her best friend.

"What do you want to know?" Natasha looked at her with a straight face, but Laura swore she could see the woman's eyes slightly more glossy and shiny than usual.

"Natasha you might be one of the best liars in the world. But you can never fool me. You know what." Laura said as she watched Natasha lean back falling softly down on the mattress.

"Poor kids who have you as a mom. If I can't hide my feelings from you now way, they will." Natasha said with a dreamy voice.

"Natasha!" Laura warned as she hit Natasha in the face with a pillow.

"She is nice. I… I mean she is Pepper Potts. She is…" Natasha's voice trailed, and Laura couldn't help but laugh at Natasha's helpless voice.

"Does Natasha Romanoff have a crush!" Laura gushed as she fell down beside Natasha who was desperately trying to get out of her gaze.

"No. Love is for children," Natasha said but Laura but even in the dark Laura saw her red cheeks.

"No. Love is awesome, and everyone deserves someone," Laura said looking into Natasha's green dreamy eyes.

"I guess…" Natasha said closing her eyes.

"You don't think you deserve it do you?" Laura asked softly. Natasha shook her head slowly.

"Why would I." Natasha opened her eyes and looked Laura dead in the eyes. Laura felt her small under her gaze having to collect herself before countering.

"That's not true. You are amazing Nat." Natasha looked at her, and Laura could see her debating with herself.

"Maybe," Natasha whispered.

"Definitely"

Laura was used to having Clint and Natasha all over the place. It was part of their life and Laura just had to deal with it. Still, Laura was always worried. Of course, she was. And a recent event proved why she was.

Laura almost jumped when her phone rang. It was almost 2 am and the only reason she was up was because Lila had the stomach flu and after a good two hours of her throwing up Laura needed some time on her own.

Laura could already feel her heart race when she looked at the display. Fuck

"He is alive." Was the first thing Natasha said when she picked up her phone. Laura felt her legs give in and stumbled over to the couch before she lost all self-control.

"Where is he?" Laura's voice was shaking, and she could hear Natasha was debating how to tell whatever was on her chest.

"I don't know," Natasha whispered and Laura couldn't help herself when she yelled at her.

"NATASHA!"

"Laura, please. We are doing our best. SHIELD is literally ordering everyone on this case. This… this is serious. Maria is in charge of the search." Natasha's voice was calm and collected and Laura was almost annoyed by how calm she was. She knew that was unfair. She knew Natasha was trained to show no emotions. She wasn't supposed to. And Laura had more than once witnessed the woman let her emotionless past being bought back up whenever she needed to focus.

"What about you?" Laura asked carefully.

"I got my own orders. I am sorry Laura. I am doing what I can but even if I tried, I couldn't fight an order. You know I can't." Laura regretted her rage when she heard Natasha's confession. It was so unfair yelling at her like that. Laura knew first handed that Natasha couldn't disobey orders like that. Even if she wanted to Natasha's past had never mad room for her own decisions like that. A mission was a mission.

"What now?

"We are looking for him. And we're doing everything. And I mean everything, in our powers to make this right. I promise."

The next weeks were hell. Laura was stressed. She was beyond stressed. She walking back and forth in the hall trying to get control over her feelings which never seemed to be tamed. She had tried to keep herself as calm and collected as possible around the kids but whenever they were at school or in bed, she could feel the anxiety rise. She almost crashed into the wall when her phone finally rang after what seemed to be a hundred years.

"I got him." Natasha was straight to the point as always. Not giving Laura any room for interruptions she continued.

"We have a private cell he is working on trying to shake off whatever fuckery Loki put into his head." Natasha sounded a lot more confident than last time she talked with her which was a good sign.

"Can I talk to him?" Laura whispered. She knew it was a longshot. But she just needed to know.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Laura. I am sorry, but these things take time." Natasha's voice was just as confident, and Laura was wondering if she put the brave face on just to calm her down.

The rest of the day the kids and Laura were glued to the TV. Correction Laura was glued to the TV with Lila playing on the floor and a Cooper cuddled up to her. Lila was still too young to understand, but Cooper seemed to understand partly what was happening on screen and even cheered Natasha on when they saw a small clip of her riding in one of those carriages.

Watching the news and reading the papers was a literal nightmare. She knew they had won. But Natasha and Clint still weren't home. She needed them home.

When they finally did come back home Laura could tell something was off.

They got dropped off on the outskirts of the field as always, but they stood there for a good minute. Natasha was talking to Clint and Laura could already feel the tension. She tried to ignore it. She threw herself around Clint's neck and she felt his strong arms around her. Finally, he was home. But she felt it. How stiff and tense he was. And she could feel how he moved his head and she saw Natasha look at them. Like she was in some kind of danger.

Laura felt his strong arms let go of her as they heard four legs running in the house. Laura watched him. As he picked both of them with ease and how he hugged and kissed them. She watched as his eyes flickered between loving and scared. How his gaze moved between Natasha and the kids.

"Daddy I missed you! But I saw you on TV. That was cool. And I saw Auntie Nat to!" Cooper said with an enthusiastic voice. The mention of Natasha made Lila wiggle out of her father's grip as she realized her favourite aunt was back.

"Hi, baby," Natasha said softly as Lila ran into her arms. It was probably one of Natasha's worse fake cover-up. She didn't even know if Natasha tried. Her voice was tense, and her full attention was on Clint. Still, Lila didn't mind.

"Shall we take this inside maybe?" Laura asked patiently as Lila and Cooper slowly settled down. Clint nodded and smiled at her. She was kinda expecting him to move towards the door, but he didn't. Instead, Laura was forced to lead the way and only when Natasha was by his side again, he started to move.

Having both of them home felt good. The three of them fell back into their normal routines and the natural flow was back. It was almost back to normal. Almost. Clint seemed to be fine most of the time, but he never let Natasha more than a few feet away, and even when Lila asked for help, he refused if Natasha wasn't in the room. Natasha on the hand, pulled herself together and the tense agent Romanoff-cape she had on outside was long gone. She had the same kind smile she always had around the kids. Still, Laura saw her throw a few glances at Clint.

Their day went on as it always did, and Laura had just tucked Cooper into bed and was currently on the search for Clint to send him off to say goodnight to his son. She stopped in the hall when she heard Natasha raise her voice.

"Clint, stop. It is okay. I am right here. It's fine. Nothing has happened. Loki is off to hell. He isn't even on earth." They were standing in Natasha's room. The door was almost closed only a small gap between the door and the doorframe allowed Laura to peek inside.

"What if I didn't shake him off what if he still is controlling me. Just waiting for the right moment to-"

"Clint, I slammed your head into a metal railing and knocked you out. He is not in control anymore. You are. You need to trust yourself."

"But what if-"

"Clint seriously. I wouldn't have agreed to come back here if I thought you were a treat to anyone in this house. You know that. And if you ever did get out of control, we both know I have the upper hand. It is in no circumstance you can knock me out. And you know damn well that when I say know 6000 ways to kill you with things in just this room I am speaking the truth. Now I need you to calm down. It will be fine." Natasha finished her sentence before she threw one deadly look in Laura's direction. Crap. Laura hurried down into her own room.

Natasha was protecting Clint, but she didn't quite understand from what. When Clint walked into the bedroom his eyes were red a puffed almost like he had been crying.

"You okay?" Laura asked carefully.

"Yeah." Clint looked at her with two tired eyes before he slipped into bed.

"Want to walk about it?" Laura asked as she joined him cuddling up to him.

"Not now. Later." Clint whispered into her hair. She nodded slowly. It was good to have him home.