A/N: I am still so fascinated by the fact that people are reading my stuff. Like I am honored. I mean, a lot of people actually enjoy this and not just me who likes my babbles you know. So, thank you. Thank you, everyone, who has followed, favorited and reviewed so far.

As you guys can see I put Black Pepper on hold. That is because I am thinking that hopefully, I will be able to wrap this one up and then move over to that one. I love writing from Laura's perspective so what I am thinking is that later I will do another fanfic, another one in the Heart of the cards collection, so a third, which will be like my alternate universe instead of Civil war, again from Laura's and maybe Pepper's? perspective.

If you guys don't know, I love Civil war, but it was kinda a point of no return when it came to the MCU timeline. Cap and Tony just split, the team split, then Thanos. Like so much happened. And again, I LOVE CW and phase 3, but I don't want to recreate that you know. Like it was great, but my small heart can't go through all the pain of writing Natasha's death you know.

Enough rambling, you get the point. Finish this one and move on to BlackPepper or something like that.

ANYWAYS: Until next chapter, make it a great week and I will talk to you very soon. (heart typicon because doesn't like the less than and greater than symbols.)

S-B

"Annie...Annie… get… get the kit. It... it's behind the door." Laura stuttered as she fumbled forwards to Natasha, sinking down in front of her. Behind her she could hear Annie drag the kids into the house with Lila protesting wildly.

"Nat. Nat please look at me." Natasha was looking blankly into nothing shaking in fear. Unlike a lot of times, she didn't seem panicky. But lost and spaced out. The blood streaming down the right side of her face didn't seem to bother her. Or maybe she hadn't noticed. The side mirror she had knocked off the car was lying on the ground beside her filled with blood with the mirror shattered into a million pieces.

"Shit. Come on Natasha." Laura mumbled more to herself than anyone else. Even in the dark, she could tell the blood more or less pouring out of her and it was a deep cut. It needed some attention right now. She only looked away from Natasha when she felt Annie move down to her height beside her. Ironically enough she handed her one of her very expensive white kitchen towels Natasha had given her years back while holding the first aid kit close to her chest.

"I didn't find another one." Annie said with a small smile and Laura recognized the desperate attempt to slightly lighten the mood. Not that it worked at all.

Laura could only nod. She wanted to reach out to Natasha, but she would be lying if she said she wasn't scared she would jump her. She didn't want to admit she was scared of Natasha because of course, she wasn't. But she was scared of what she could do when she wasn't her Natasha. That one time Natasha had thrown her on the floor had made its marks. And she didn't blame Natasha for that either. She couldn't control herself. But neither could she now.

Laura slowly moved towards the other girl, surprised, and maybe a bit scared when Natasha didn't respond to her movements. She barely touched her arm before she retracted fast, almost jumping right into Annie, scared if Natasha was going to do a one-eighty on her and attack her, but Natasha didn't move at all. And just that on its own was worrying.

Laura didn't have time to wonder why she didn't move instead she moved up to Natasha and for the first time touched her injured head. She moved the hair away from her face, and already, blood was starting to glue her red hair together sticking to everything. Laura didn't say anything or asked for any permission as she slowly started applying pressure to the side of her head. The towel immediately got damp with blood from the other woman.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit." Laura swore under her breath trying to get a better look at the cut. It was way too dark to see anything, meaning they had to move her to get a better look at her. She knew she wasn't strong enough to lift her. And even if she was, she didn't know if she wanted to. She fished up her phone from her pocket trying to type in Clint's number while still applying some pressure on Natasha's wound. She could feel her hands, again and again, failing, shaking as she moved them.

It took her multiple attempts to get the number down and when she did, she could tell her voice was failing her.

"You… You need to…" Laura swallowed hard trying to force her voice to calm down and get out the words she was so desperately trying to say.

"Natasha she is… She is…" She could tell Clint was trying to talk to her. And she knew she was making no sense, but her head was on a complete meltdown. She looked up when Annie almost forcefully took the phone out of her hand. She could tell Annie was talking, and sometimes she picked up a few words, but for the most of it the words just turned into mush she didn't understand. She had no idea what she was saying, blindly trusting her to get Clint to them as fast as possible. All she really could to was hugging Natasha's head letting her own head lean onto her and hold around the younger woman as she listened to Annie's voice.

"They will be here in 7 minutes, Laura. Hang on." Annie said with a soft tone slowly letting her hand glide down her back to calm her down. Laura could only nod and it was first now she realized she was crying into Natasha's red hair.

She could feel Natasha shift in her hands, and it wasn't before she saw Annie started to move in the corner of her eyes, she realized Lila had walked outside again, crying. She had completely disconnected from the rest of the world and the two four-year-old hadn't even crossed her mind once.

Natasha was shaking in her arms and Laura tossed a look at Annie who was looking at them with just as a worried look as her own.

"Cover her ears and eyes and I'll get them." Annie said before hurrying towards the two girls who were now moving towards them. Laura could only nod and do as she was told, holding tightly around Natasha, covering her ears and letting her hide her face on her chest. Natasha was forcefully trying to push herself out of Laura's grip when Lila screamed behind her making Laura have to force her up against the car. She had no idea what Natasha's head was thinking, but she was not taking any chances letting her loose.

It felt like an eternity before Kent pulled up with Clint and the boys. Laura had forced Natasha to stop moving to the point where the woman was just leaning into her shaking uncontrollably. She had no idea what was happening behind her. She could hear them talk and Annie joining them, but she didn't bother to turn around only shielding her and Natasha away from the rest of the world.

"Hi" Laura slowly turned her head when she heard Clint's voice. Already feeling the relief filling her. Thank god he was finally here. She moved slowly away from the other girl and let Annie pull her up on her feet covering her in a blanket. The two of them watched as Clint swiftly examined her. Natasha was just staring into nothing with blank eyes still not being able to focus on anything in front of her. Still, she didn't protest when Clint picked her up only leaning her head against his chest soaking his shirt in red blood.

Annie guided Laura carefully into the house following Clint, and by the time they got inside Clint had whipped the whole kitchen table and placed Natasha on top. She had her head turned towards them, still looking into nothing with the wound pointing up and away from the table. Clint was moving around her going over the rest of her body while Laura moved over to her head. She lifted her head and moved her hair away from the cut making sure the woman was as comfortable as possible. Even if she was laying on their kitchen table.

The cut was just below the hairline on her temple, and thankfully it had looked a lot more dramatic than it seemed to be. Laura watched as Clint injected something into her arm before he finally moved over the cut. He carefully cleaned the cut reveling it fully.

"She needs stitches," Laura said with a small voice looking at the wound closer. She didn't know how to act. This was so different from every other time. Yes, she had had an injured Natasha in her home before, and yes, she had experienced her panic attacks multiplies, but they had never combined to this extent.

"Yes, but you are not putting a needle into nobody." Clint said pointing at her shaking hand. Laura only nodded before she slipped down on a chair beside Natisha's head and watched Clint work.

It was complete silence in the room as Clint slowly worked on the stitches and Annie and Laura watched. His movements were slow but precise. Usually, Natasha and Clit just patched themselves just enough to make it heal without Laura yelling at them. They never took the time to make it look good and a lot of time the stitches would scar for quite a long time. But this time Clint used his time and made sure the stitches were small and secure. The whole time Natasha was staring into nothing, but as time went on, she started to relax and by the time Clint was wrapping a bandage around her head she had fallen asleep.

"What did you put into her to make her do that?" Annie said with a soft voice as they listened to Natasha's steady, calm breathing.

"Some different painkillers plus some of that medication she took a few years back. Figured she needed rest. I know it's not an ideal match with her injury-" Clint started and Laura only nodded.

"I was the right call," Laura said carefully moving the hair away from her face.

"Do you think we should move her upstairs?" Laura asked as she played with her hair, carefully brushing out the now dried out blood in her hair.

"No. I don't want to move her head too much. Maybe just lay her down on the couch and move her to the guest room later when she wakes up and can tell us how she feels." Clint said. Laura could only nod in agreement. She didn't know too much about this kind of injury, but he had a good point. She had hit her head pretty hard and of course, your head is a very sensitive area.

Laura didn't really know what to do with herself. Natasha was sleeping and she knew she was safe, but a lot of things were bugging her about the whole situation. It felt off and slightly random. Of course, you never expect something like this to happen, but this was a way of everything.

"I am so sorry it turned out like this." She turned around and looked at Annie with a serious face.

"And I am so sorry Lucie had to see any of this. And Kent and Caspar having to come and it's just a mess. This is a mess. I am a mess." Laura hadn't thought about anything else that Natasha before she had heard somebody laugh upstairs, reminding her that they had five other people in the house.

"Laura, it's okay. She didn't see anything, and I think it's a good thing that they are together. They can keep themselves occupied. To be honest, I don't think they reacted to Natasha, but more to us and how we were acting. I am sure they didn't see the seriousness of the situation in the way we imagine." Annie looked at her with a soft smile and Clint nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, I agree. And you can hear them upstairs. They are having a great time with Kent now. And I am sure Lila will be fine." The room fell silent again, and while Annie and Clint had done their best Laura still felt guilty. Not that she had any real reason to feel so.

"Why don't we host a small sleepover. The kids can all sleep in Cooper's room. We'll just move the mattresses. And then Annie and Kent can take Nat's room. It will keep everyone with some kind of company. The kids will love it, and I think the two of us need just as much company as them. So, we don't have to be alone with our own thoughts." Clint was the one breaking the silence. He was the one with the plan. And of course, it was a genius idea.

Like Annie and Clint had said the girls didn't seem to be very affected by the situation. It was a good thing to say at least. Laura was just happy it was Lila who had witnessed the accident and not Cooper. She knew very well that Cooper had a memory where everything stuck. While Lila's brain was a lot more selective and could just blur out everything and everyone if needed. But even if it didn't seem like they needed to Laura and Annie both took the girl to the side and made sure they were okay. The two of them had only nodded and were a lot more interested in the movie Kent and Clint were going to put on soon.

It took some time to set up everything but soon they got all four kids watching a movie upstairs and the four adults could finally take a breather and move downstairs again. Kent joined them this time, and even if the living room looked more like a surgery room, he seemed to be very relaxed about the whole thing.

"So, are we going to talk about the elephant in the room or what?" Clint said with a small laugh point at Laura who had Natasha's sleeping beside her, softly letting her hand glide through her red hair.

"I don't know what to say. I don't even know what happened, really." Laura said with a soft voice as she looked down on Natasha.

"Actually. Can I say something?" Laura looked up at Annie who was looking down on her lap.

"It is about what happened. But also about Natasha." Clint looked up at her and Laura could see him tensing up on his chair, pushing himself towards the fireplace and away from Annie with a suspicious look on his face.

"And you guys need to promise not to get mad" Laura nodded slowly. If she recalled, she could have sworn Annie tried to say something like this earlier. She shot a strict look at Clint's direction when he didn't nod, but he soon agreed as well.

"Okay," Annie took a deep breath before she looked into Laura's eyes ignoring Clint completely when she finally said.

"I know about Natasha and her past, and I know about Hawkeye, Natalia. And KGB." Laura's eyes shot up wide open and her head spun around when the all too familiar sound of the safety clicking off a Glock echoed and filled the room.

"Say that again and your head is off!"

"CLINT!" Laura shot up from her seat and flew in front of him just when Kent sprung to his feet as well. Laura didn't even know that gun existed, but there it was, aimed directly at Annie's face. Clint had a furious look on his face and Laura could tell Annie was trying to force herself to calm down.

"Put that gun down right now and let her talk!" Laura hissed straightening up in front of him, tossing Annie a soft look.

"Please continue," Laura said between her teeth glaring at Clint with an angry face.

"I… I didn't mean to but… but I googled her after her visit and… and read up on her." Annie said, still with a shaking voice. Clint took a deal breath and slowly moved the gun down. Still, Laura didn't relax or move out the way before the safety was clicked on again. She could see Kent relax as well, falling down on his chair with a soft groan.

"That was why I acted so weird earlier today Laura. Because I didn't know what to think. I mean she was a killer. She was a murderer. But even with that past you were so calm and trusted her. And she is so different from what somebody who was an assassin should be. She is. She is so… almost unreal." Laura nodded slowly. It all made sense now. When SHIELD fell everything about Natasha had gotten leaked with it. But she never really thought about the fact that everyone. Like every single person on this planet could just google her.

She looked at Clint who seemed to have relaxed. He moved the gun and Laura could see Annie jump in her seat. But Clint only moved it away and placed his hand and the gun into fireplace clicking it into place somewhere in the pipe. They had used that fireplace. They used it a lot actually. How in the world did they hide one there? And why did she not know about this?

"Okay. I get it. But what do you know about what happened? Because honestly, I don't want to hear anything more about you describing her past" Clint said with a sarcastic voice.

"Natasha has gotten panic attacks before. But they usually get triggered by a word. Most of the time I don't even know what word it is. She never tells me." Laura said looking at Annie who only nods.

"Well, do you remember what Lila said before she fell?" Laura only shook her head. She really didn't. She didn't remember anything.

"She said she was going to" Annie stopped and looked at them before she moved her hand and pretended to slice off her throat.

"At one point she calmed down. But then the kids walked out again. And she reacted to the sound of them. To the kids. I don't know what kind of connection is, but yeah, I think that was it." Both Clint and Laura stopped. Even if that was true, Laura wasn't sure she knew why and what connection lied with the girls.

"So, it was related to the red room then," Clint said at last.

"The red room?" Kent asked looking between them. He did not seem to know much about any of this so Laura was guessing he hadn't looked at Annie's research.

"It was where Natasha was raised and brainwashed. Where they forced her to train and kill. It was where she got turned into the words most efficient assassin." Clint said with a deep voice making Laura get a shiver down her spine.

"How do you know this is connected to this." Laura looked up at him carefully. Obviously, it wasn't that much other it could have been connected to, but it was a few events that had popped up in her head as possibilities, still, he sounded very confident.

"You even said she seems to be stressed about the similarities between herself and Lila. And I am just speaking my thoughts here, but I mean how many other things can it possibly be. If she already was kinda jumpy about the red room and Lila it makes sense, right?"

"I guess you are right," Laura said with a low voice. He had a point. But it hurt knowing her home was causing Natasha so much pain. So maybe she didn't want to know. Maybe she didn't want to hear it out loud.

"Maybe. Maybe we should talk to Maria." Clint said looking at her ignoring the fact that Annie and Kent were still in the room.

"Maybe it would be best if she wasn't here for a little while." He continued.

"You sound like you want to throw her out of her home!" Laura felt the anger rise. She didn't mean to. But it was the vibe she got from him and she was not happy about it.

"Laura I am not saying that. I am just saying maybe it will sever her better not constantly getting reminded about everything. And being around Lila will probably just make her feel guilty. You know how she is with these things. Besides. Technically, this isn't her home anymore is it?" Laura really felt the last one shot directly into her heart. It was true. The tower was going to be her home, not the farm.

"Okay. Call Maria then." Laura said between her teeth. She looked down on Natasha who was sleeping peacefully. Got she hoped Natasha never would see or hear about how much heartache she caused her right now because if she did, she would never forgive herself.

"Wait you mean now?" Clint said surprised looking at Annie and Kent.

"Why not. It's not like we can possibly surprise them any more." Laura snapped, immediately regretting it. Clint raised his arms in defeat before he pulled out his phone. While they waited for her to pick up Kent excused himself. By now the movie would have finished and he said he was going to try to get the kids to bed. And Laura didn't blame him or not wanting to be a part of this mess.

"Hello?" Maria's face popped up and Annie jumped in her seat when she saw the hologram floating. Right, that was not a normal thing. Oops.

"Hi," Laura said with a low voice. She could see Maria look at them before she leaned forwards squinting at Laura.

"Why is she lying like that? Why does she have a bandage around her head? And why does Laura look like she has been crying?" Straight to the point. Of course.

"Also, who is she?" Maria only pointed at Annie not even bothering to look at her.

"We had an accident," Clint said softly.

"I can tell," Maria said coldly, still not looking away from Natasha.

"And that's Annie, Laura's friend. We trust her."

"Fine."

"She panicked and hit her head in the side mirror of our car."

"How bad is it?"

"Not sure. I put some painkillers into her with that medication you guys made. She fell asleep after that."

"So why are you calling then? It seems like you have it under control. Not that I would advise you to force her to sleep with a head injury but still." Maria straightened up and for the first time actually looked at Clint.

"I know, but I don't think she could handle being awake very well. We think Lila caused it. Or not Lila in particular but-"

"Red room flashback then."

"Yes."

"So, you want to send her away."

"Yes"

"Okay, but not now."

"I agree."

"When she is better. When she wakes up."

"Yes."

"Okay, I will pick her up myself. Just call. I will get Pepper to get some furniture into her apartment."

"Thank you." The conversation between Clint and Maria was so fast Laura barely could keep up. She was wondering if this was how all the conversations at SHIELD were. It was like the two of them were reading each other's thoughts. No explanation was needed at all.

When they hung up the room fell silent before surprisingly Annie started talking. Laura was very thankful for Annie. Even when Kent went to bed, she spent the whole night with Clint and her downstairs. They talked about everything and it was just a relief having her around. She proved over and over again how trustworthy she was. And knowing she always had Annie when Clint and Natasha weren't around was very important for her.

Natasha woke up around 5 in the morning and when she did Laura could have sworn her heart stopped for a moment. At first, Natasha's head seemed to have been whipped with everything. But after a few seconds of recovery Natasha's eyes melted into two soft loving eyes. Carefully stroking down Laura's face just to calm her down. If it wasn't for the fact that she had no colour in her face and she had a bloody bandage around her head, it almost seemed like Laura was the injured one. Natasha's eyes were just fixed on her, looking at her and calming her down. However, it did seem like she had lost the ability to speak. Maybe she didn't want to. Or maybe she couldn't force her head to do so. But not once she opened her mouth, not even to try, and it was one of the bigger worries Laura felt building up.

Still, she seemed better than what they all expected. For starters, she actually moved up to a sitting position without looking to dizzy and disorientated. It didn't seem like she had any problems with understanding them either, giving them a few nods now and again. She didn't move from her seat though, and it ended up with Clint having to carry her to the guest room.

It took Natasha three days before she felt well enough to walk on her own. By then she had been moved upstairs and spent most of her days in her room sleeping. It took her four days to open her mouth to answer yes or no questions and it took her six days before she finally decided she wanted to keep a conversation.

Natasha hadn't mentioned the accident once, even after they passed the seven days mark, and by then they had concluded she well enough to travel back to New York.

They were almost a hundred percent sure she had a severe concussion, grounding her form more or less every activity she would have normally done when she was sick. She hadn't taken one step out of the room to talk to the kids either making her completely locked inside her room and they could tell she was getting tired of doing nothing.

Maria came on day eight. That evening both Clint and Laura were downstairs. The kids had gone to sleep after Natasha had kissed them goodbye and goodnight and the two of them had decided to wait in the living room. It was a very tense and bittersweet atmosphere when Maria walked into the house.

"So, how is she?" Maria had landed the quinjet on the outskirts of the lot like they used to. Like Natasha, she was dressed in all black with her hair tied tightly up in a bun.

"Hard to tell. She doesn't really talk." Clint answered offering Maria a glass of water.

"Is that so?" Maria said taking the glass with a small smile.

"She didn't talk the first few days, like at all. We don't know if she chose not to, or because she actually couldn't form words. Impossible to tell really." Clint said with a slight tone of annoyance.

"I'm not surprised," Maria said, earning an eyebrow lift from both of them.

"We have had our moments together. Believe me, I have seen the side of her nobody needs to see." Laura only nodded to that. She didn't want to know. She had never seen the black widow and she kinda didn't feel the need to either.

"She is a private person, and she is allowed to be. Hopefully, Pepper can drag her out of her misery though." Maria finally said. Laura knew Natasha and Maria worked well together. It made sense why. Maria was empathetic unlike a lot of the others in SHIELD employees, and she never seems to correct Natasha's attitude or actions, letting her be who she was. But she could also be very professional. And push away personal thoughts in a moment's notice. Another trait Laura knew Natasha appreciates.

"She is upstairs. But I don't know if.-" Laura started but was cut off by another voice.

"I'm here." Natasha was leaning on the doorframe with her arms crossed over her chest. Even with the bandage, she looked cold and almost mean, making Laura shrink under her eyes. A big contrast from the soft eyes she had when Laura had checked up on her earlier today.

"You don't need to put on that cold face Nat. You're in a bad mood I get it." Maria's voice was soft, and she was almost laughing. Natasha only shook her head, but her eyes softened ever so slightly. The four of them just looked at each other for a while before Laura broke the silence.

"So, I guess it's goodbye then," Laura said with a sad voice. It sucked because this was not how she wanted it to end. She wanted Natasha here in her home, for all eternity. Natasha's eyes melted completely before she walked up to her and pulled into her strong arms.

"No. It's just for now." Natasha said and hugged her softly. Laura leaned into her and whispered.

"What's the difference?" Natasha chuckled.

"That I will be back?" Laura pulled back and nodded.

"So, you won't die or kill yourself?"

"I will try not to." Natasha smiled and Laura only nodded. Clint and Natasha's hug weren't as emotional, but Laura could see he too was almost regretting the decision.

"Why does it feel like I kicked her out and we won't see her again?" Laura mumbled as they watched Natasha and Maria walk over the field and to the aircraft. Clint dragged her into his arms and mumbled back.

"I don't know, but I feel it too.