A/N: Last chapter kinda flopped which really sucks but oh well. I am still very thankful for every single reader, follow and favourite. And the reviews. Thank you all.
Also, like, new year, a new decade. One step at the time and breath. This year is my year, I just know it. (update: day 6 in the new year and not even kidding I am loving every second. Like yes work suck and stuff but idk I am just loving life not gonna lie.)
I also looked at the stats on this fanfic, and its low key cracked. Like I thought the last chapter flopped bc I got fewer readers the first 24 hours but the average is really high right now even if it is like two weeks since an update.
Until next time. Make it a great week, year and decade, and we'll talk next chapter.
S-B
Laura did not plan to get pregnant for the third time and when she found out she was very surprised to say at least, or maybe terrified was the correct term. Of course, that soon evolved to happiness and thankfulness. She had never had a problem getting pregnant in the first two pregnancies, which she so grateful for.
Still getting pregnant again was never something that crossed her mind. In fact, she didn't realize she was until she realized her period was late and was more or less forced to go out and by a pregnancy test.
When she saw the two lines, she was shocked. Clint, on the other hand, was ecstatic. Laura knew he always wanted a lot of kids and a big family, but it was overwhelming thinking soon they would get another kid. They already had two, and Laura had to admit it had been hard balancing the kids and Clint's agent life.
Cooper had just turned 10 and Lila would turn 6 the upcoming summer. Both of them were in school now. Growing up to be two beautiful strong independent humans, and Laura couldn't be prouder, but they were a lot of work.
"I can't believe we are having another one," Laura whispered to Clint with a low voice. She had found out four days ago and had told the kids yesterday. Lila had been over the moon about the idea of a little brother or sister. Cooper, on the other hand, had been a bit more reserved, as expected. Still, he seemed happy. He took his big brother role very seriously, and Laura knew he would be very protective of the baby, maybe even more than he was over Lila.
"Yeah, I know." Clint and Laura were laying in their bedroom. The kids were in bed, and the two of them were currently talking about the new family member.
"How are we going to do this? I mean I am excited and all, but another one. A baby. It's a lot of work. And you have work." Laura turned and looked at Clint with a serious look.
"Won't be a problem, Laura, I'll retire. Maria was very understanding with Lila, and I barely get called now anyways. I am sure nobody will miss me too much." Laura looked at him with big eyes. Was he serious? He loved working. Was he really telling her he would be leaving for good?
"I am serious Laura. I'll retire and will stay with you. Forever." Laura closed her eyes and nodded slowly.
"I promise." Okay, maybe it will all turn out okay then. The two of them stayed silent for a while just leaning on each other. Thinking.
"We need to tell Nat." Laura opened her eyes and looked up at Clint.
"How do you think she'll react?" Laura whispered back with a worried look. It was very early in pregnancy. And Laura and Clint had decided to hold off talking about the new addition to their friends till they were around week 13 because of the risk of losing it. But Natasha was different. When she found out about Lila last time, she had gotten annoyed when they hadn't told her right away. But then again, the situation was different this time.
"We can always invite her over and tell her then?" Clint suggested, snuggling closer to her, letting his hand glide over her stomach. She agreed telling her in person was way better than over the phone. And she did miss her.
"Okay." Laura only whispered back. Everything would change now. It was scary. Very scary. But she was ready to meet this baby. And it would all turn out fine. It had to be.
Laura and Clint never got the time to invite Natasha before she was knocking on their door two days later. The two of them were in the middle of the kid's bedtime routine when they heard a soft knock followed by the door opening revealing the redhead.
It was no use trying to get the kids in bed now. Lila was more or less bouncing around in the room wide awake. Natasha, on the other hand, did not look as awake. She had her hair away from her face in a tight braid on her back showing her very dark and tired green eyes.
"Lila calm down please." Laura tried as her daughter dragged Natasha after her into the living room. She had barely gotten inside the house when the girl had grabbed her arm. Natasha only followed her before she got pushed down on the couch and a sketchbook came flying towards her face and Lila bouncing after
"Look, look, look!" Lila started to flip through the book with Natasha looking at the pages. Laura only sighed with a small smile as she took place on the opposing side of the coffee table. Cooped curled up in his mother's arms watching the two of them. Lila was showing off her drawings and Laura already knew this would take ages considering the girl was drawing around five hundred of them each day. Clint was the last one to join them. He, like her, looked at Natasha with a suspicious look.
"This is the horse I want, and this is a drawing of how the farm will look with her in it. And this is a drawing of Cooper riding her." Lila was wiggling on her lap and Laura could tell Natasha wasn't paying attention at all. The other woman was very clearly tired, which was odd because she had seemed fine lately. Another very obvious change was the fact that she had on her suit which was usually only the case when she came directly from a mission. It all seemed a bit… off.
"… And this is my horse with my baby sister." Both Clint and Laura froze when Natasha whipped her head up. Her eyes widened as she slowly looked down on the drawing again asking slowly.
"What did you say, flower?" Natasha looked at her strictly to see if Lila had just said what she thought she said.
"Baby sister. Or brother. We don't know, but I am hoping sister. Mommy said it might be a girl. I hope so." Natasha looked at the small child again before she nodded slowly before she pushed her off her carefully handing Lila back her book.
"Okay. I need a break." Natasha stood up slowly before walking towards the hallway leaving the four of them confused.
"I'll be back…. Soon…" She mumbled before stumbling out the door.
Laura was phasing back and forth in the living room with Clint sitting in a chair. It had been four hours since Natasha had walked out the door. Clint and Laura had spent a good 50 minutes to get the kids in bed with a lot of wild protesting from both of them.
"That literally could not have gone any worse." Laura huffed as she threw yet another look out the window. It was pitch black outside which was to be expected when it was 11pm, so it's not like she saw anything anyways.
"Well. At least she didn't yell at us." Clint mumbled as he fiddled with one of his arrows.
"Any guessed on where she can be?" Laura let out another sigh before sitting down on a chair beside Clint. She knew Natasha would've some different thoughts about another child as she did with Lila. But she did not expect her to walk out on them.
"No. Four hours and 12 minutes. She could be miles from her. I don't think you have seen her on her morning jog, but her stamina is crazy." Clint answered with an annoyed mumble. All Laura could do was nod. Guess he was right. If Natasha wanted to, she could be out of the country on the other side of the planet. Nothing stopped her.
Laura spun around when she heard the door open. Natasha walked through the door with a fast phase closing the door a bit more careless and forcefully than she normally would. She didn't look at them at all, only passing the door ignoring them completely.
"Tasha!" Clint was already on his feet jogging after her upstairs. Laura could only watch as she followed behind the two of them.
"Where the hell have you been?"
"Running."
"Natasha it's been 4 hours."
"It was a long run."
"Nat." Clint slipped into her bedroom just she closed the door, leaving Laura outside. Damn it. She hoped Clint would get through to her.
Laura could only walk into her bedroom and slowly start on her nighttime routine. Five minutes later Clint joined her. She didn't need to ask. The annoyed face already told her Natasha had said nothing.
"She is showering. You can always try to talk to her afterward. I got nothing. She was just plain angry. I don't know why." Clint said with a small huff throwing his clothes off before tucking himself to bed. Laura decided to join him but chose to lay and listen to see if Natasha was planning on moving again. If so, she was definitely going to try to stop her. She could tell Clint was fuming beside her.
She had almost fallen asleep when she heard a door open followed by some very light steps. She knew it wasn't the kids. They couldn't be quiet or discreet even if their life depended on it. Laura slipped out of bed and just caught a glimpse of some red hair when she got out the door. She could tell Natasha wasn't planning to leave the house. If so, she would have jumped out the window, which she had occasionally done by the way. Laura spent her time closing the door to her own bedroom as well as the kids trying to prevent any of them waking up before following her downstairs.
When Laura finally got down and walked into the living room Natasha had seated herself on the sofa under the window looking out into the dark. She had wet hair and was dressed in what seemed like one of Laura's sweater and sweatpants she had borrowed to her months ago.
"Hi." Laura tried carefully. Even just by the light from the moon, she could tell Natasha was white as snow.
"Do you want to tell what is going on?" She tried again moving over to Natasha who continued to look out the window.
"No" Natasha answered simply refusing to meet her eyes. Laura leaned closer to her trying to look closer at her face. Other than looking like a ghost the woman looked even more tired now. And her eyes were upset. Not mad, but sad.
"Can you at least tell me if you are planning on sleeping. Or if you have slept recently. Are you hurt or sick? You don't have to mention… that. Just tell me how you are feeling. Please." Laura moved her hand under Natasha's chin. Even if she had just showered her skin was cold to the touch. She slowly guided Natasha's head to face her and Natasha finally looked into the eyes.
"I… I am fine." Laura looked at her again, making sure to swiftly check her temperature on her forehead and study her head and face from any bruises or cuts. Natasha didn't give her more, and she forced her eyes to look away from Laura. It stung seeing her so upset. It really did.
"Okay. I guess we'll talk about it tomorrow?" Laura said finally let go of Natasha who immediately turned her head away from her again. She didn't get an answer. She didn't know if she was expecting to. All Laura could do was leave her alone and hope she would go to bed soon.
Laura woke up with the feeling of really having to pee. She had only been pregnant for a few weeks and somehow her bladder had already stopped working. Not an ideal situation at all. It was only 5:30, meaning she had gotten like 5 hours of sleep. In other words, a lot less than she had hoped for, but it was no point in going back to bed. She would not fall asleep, and even if she somehow did, she would get like one hour before she needed to wake up anyway.
Deciding to let Clint sleep she threw on a random hoodie before she slipped out of the room and closed the door carefully behind her. The first thing she noticed was Natasha's wide-open door. Laura couldn't help but let out a small sigh before she sneaked down the stairs, careful not to make any sounds in case the kids were awake. They had an alarm who changed to the colour green when it was okay to move out of the room in the morning, but if they heard any of the parents move around before that light turned on, they had a tendency to ignore it.
Laura walked into the living room to find Natasha sleeping in a chair. Laura felt her heart sink as her eyes landed on the sleeping woman. She was pale, and there was no hiding the fact that she had been crying herself to sleep. Trails of dried tears down her face framed a concerned face. Laura couldn't remember the last time she saw Natasha crying. It had to be years ago.
Beside her on the small table, it was an empty mug with residue of honey of milk, meaning Natasha had been desperate enough to try to get herself to sleep the same way she often had tried with the kid. A desperate attempt but at least it had worked. Sort of.
Laura was debating with herself to either leave her alone or tuck her in with a blanket when Natasha started to move around. Restlessly she watched her starting to kick around and Laura felt herself get pulled towards the other woman.
"Hi Talia," Laura said sinking beside the chair. Natasha opened her eyes slowly. Laura waved at her to move. Ignoring the fact that the two of them would barely fit in the chair Laura slipped in and let Natasha lean her head on her chest. She curled up into a small ball, and Laura was seriously amazed that the two of them didn't fall out of the chair.
"Sleep was that bad?" Laura said with a small laugh as Natasha curled up on her arms.
"I have a headache." Natasha only mumbled into the fabric of her hoodie.
"Maybe get some water then," Laura suggested with a soft voice. She could feel Natasha nod, but none of them moved. Both of them only taking in the moment. Laura could smell Natasha's vanilla scented conditioner from her freshly washed hair. Soft waves in her hair with that natural shine she always had. Her new colour was a beautifully saturated ginger colour. Somewhat redder than orange.
"You know the kids will be down in like 30 minutes, right," Laura said in a low voice as Natasha let out a heavy sigh.
"If you want anything for your head and need some rest, I would suggest a bedroom. You don't have to go upstairs you can always use the guestroom ." Laura nudged the redhead carefully before untangling herself. Natasha grunted and looked at her with two annoyed eyes.
"I'll meet you there with some water and a box of Tylenol, okay?" She didn't give her room to reply. Laura walked out of the living room to give her some space while she went to hunt down those painkillers. By the time she got to the guestroom, Natasha had curled up on top of the bed and cover. Laura handed her the box and water and watched Natasha move over to swallow two while letting Laura into the bed.
The next 26 minutes of peace was spent slowly massaging Natasha's temple while listening to her heavy breathing. She could feel Natasha fight both sleep and pain. She knew when the kids came down, she had to go back to focusing on being a mother for them and not care for Natasha. She also knew that was what Natasha wanted from her. Because even though the kids would survive without her ordering them to do everything and throwing them out the door, Natasha would never want her to ignore them to say with her.
Natasha had almost fallen asleep when Laura heard the kids run downstairs. She immediately felt bad when she moved Natasha from her lap. Natasha let out a loud cough followed by a moan before curling up into a ball. Laura could only shake her head before moving out of the room, hoping the kids wouldn't see where she was coming from to give Natasha some space.
Laura and Clint both tried to play it cool that morning, not that they were successful at all. Both of the kids asked where their aunt was five hundred times before they gave up. Laura was working on way too little sleep already, so she could feel her patient running low real fast. Thankfully Clint stepped into the leading role and steered everyone in kinda the right direction.
After a very long breakfast, and way too many questions Clint pushed the kids out the door. The chilly February wind required some more clothes than planned, but after digging around, and becoming even more late than normal, all three got out the door at some point. Laura wasn't very fan of winter or the cold, so she was more than thankful when Clint had offered to take them to school.
She was tired and in a slightly annoyed mood when Clint left the kids, and while she loved Natasha and wanted nothing more than cuddle with her or Clint right now, her annoyed mood would not be fair on Natasha. So instead of going into her room, Laura decided the couch was an okay second option. Laura woke up from her nap when Clint carefully shook her a few hours later. Since it was already so 12, she was guessing he had either run a few errands or let her sleep in, both equally possible. He had a small smile on his face as he helped Laura up from the couch.
"Sleep well?" Clint asked with a low voice kissing her softly. Laura could only nod as she deepened the kiss leaning into him. She could feel his hands trail down her body and on her stomach, slowly stroking over where the bum soon would grow.
"We need to talk to Natasha," Laura said slowly as she pulled away from the kiss. Clint nodded at her with a serious look.
"How is she? I noticed she wasn't in her room." Clint looked at her. He seemed concerned. Not very surprising.
"Not great. She cried herself to sleep. And she woke up with a headache." Laura started carefully.
"A lot can cause a headache, though not every much makes the Black Widow cry. How do you know she cried? " Clint added. Laura nodded in agreement.
"Clint, I could literally see trails of tears down her face... It's worrying." Clint looked at her before grabbing her arm. He pulled her up on her feet before dragging her to the guestroom. Clearly, he wanted to get it over with now. Laura wasn't sure if this was the best approach though she didn't protest when he knocked on the door and pushed it open.
Laura was not surprised to see Natasha turned away from the door and curled up. But she was surprised to see Natasha had turned around completely and was leaning on the foot end of the bed, head resting up against the metal bars.
"Tasha?" Clint asked with a surprised voice, clearly also confused about the way she was laying.
"Please go away." Natasha's voice was forced and tired. She didn't turn around or move.
"No, Natasha. I know you don't feel great, but you did a pretty drastic thing yesterday. You ran out the door and away from us when you found out Laura is pregnant, and we need to know why." Right to the point. Wow, Clint.
"What he means, Talia is that I am worried. He is… Clint, so I guess kinda worried. And I need to know where you stand. I need to know what's wrong, if something is wrong." Laura cut Clint off moving away from the door and up to Natasha. She sank down beside the bed and looked at her, waiting for her to look back at her. She watched Clint walk around the bed as well and up behind her.
"Natasha," Clint warned.
They watched her shift before opening her eyes and slowly moving to a sitting position. Her eyes were red. It looked like she had been crying again. Even more worrying.
She looked at the two of them before she closed her eyes.
"I…" Laura watched as she stuttered over her words. Trying to take a deep breath.
"We… we need you back in the field."
Laura almost fainted as Natasha finished her sentence. She didn't know why it cut so deep, but it did. It really hit hard, and it was awful. Shock, anger, confusion. All of the emotions she could possibly come up with just crashed into her.
"Natasha...!" Laura could hear Clint growl behind her.
"I found the scepter. They are pulling everyone into this." Natasha turned her head away, and Laura could tell she was doing everything to keep herself together. "I came from a mission. In Sokovia. I found a HYDRA base. The scepter is in it." Natasha's voice cracked.
"I am not going. I promised Laura I wouldn't." Clint was angry. Laura could tell. Maybe he was being unreasonable, or maybe Natasha was the one overreacting. Either way, Natasha seemed to be filled with emotion she couldn't or wouldn't control. Her voice was weak as she tried to counter him. Trying to get him to listen to her.
"Clint, please - "
"No, Natasha. I am serious this time. I can't do it. - "
"Clint, I nee - "
"I said, No."
"We need you Cl - "
"I PROMISED HER NATASHA."
"Clint STOP PLEASE." Laura looked at them as they yelled back and forth. But like Clint, she got surprised by Natasha's cry. She looked at him with pain-filled eyes.
"Clint, I need you, please." For the first time, Clint shut his mouth and slowly moved over to his partner.
"I can't do it, Clint. I need you." Natasha's head fell on his shoulder as she let out a small sob. Surprising Laura when she stopped holding back the tears, letting them fall.
"We need you. I need you. We can't do this without you." Natasha looked up at the two of them trying to force herself to stop crying.
"Tony wants spies to try to keep the element of surprise. Maria's contract doesn't allow her to join us, and I can't do it alone. I almost failed my last mission, Clint. I could barely stand. Do you understand how fucking hard the last months have been on me? OF COURSE, I don't want you in the field if it wasn't absolutely necessary. But Clint…" Natasha bit her lip as she looked at him. When he didn't reply Natasha turned away again.
"Natasha I… I am so sorry." Clint tried. But his failed attempt only made her move away from him, turning around completely before curling up again with her head in the pillow. The conversation had ended, and the redhead had no plans on starting the topic once more.
Laura saw no other option than to push Clint out the room.
"Are you trying to make it worse?!" Laura hissed the second she closed the door behind them.
"How was I supposed to know she felt that way?" Clint mumbled back with a low voice, guiding Laura away.
"Well for starter she ran until she more or less collapsed last night so…" Laura answered annoyed.
"She didn't actually faint… right?" Clint turned around as they walked into the living room.
"Not that I know of but judging by the colour of her face last night she could've. Listen, Clint. I don't know what is going on with her. But whatever it is, she is hurt, and she needs us both to work with her here. Maybe we should talk to Maria?" Laura looked at him with a serious look.
"Yeah. I guess you're right. I'm sorry, Laur." Clint said falling down on a chair with a sigh.
"Not really me who you should apologize to." Laura handed him his phone with a small smile.
"Call Maria. See what's happening. Maybe she knows what happened to Nat. I take anything at this point." Clint only nodded before slowly dialing in the number. They both could Natasha's and Maria's number by heart at this point, taking no chances.
It took only one ring before the woman picked up.
"Please say Natasha is with the two of you." Laura stopped in her tracks when she saw Maria's concerned face pop up.
"She is," Clint answered shortly.
"How is she? She hasn't given me any details after she left Sokovia four days ago." Laura let out a small sigh. She wasn't surprised. She really wasn't.
"She could've been better," Laura answered softly.
"I think she is sleeping. Or she might be crying. Or twisting somebody's head off. Honestly, I don't know anymore." Clint added with a sarcastic voice.
"How is this helping? How are you helping?!" Laura hissed at him with an angry voice.
"Okay, what is going on?" Laura watched as Maria leaned forward on her desk as if she was moving closer to them. She looked at them like a Laura looked at the kids when she was about to correct them on something
"Laura is pregnant," Clint mumbled looking at the former SHIELD leader. Laura watched as the woman opened her mouth to say something but closed it fast.
"We wanted to invite her to tell her our self, but yesterday she just came walking through the door. And I mean you have met Lila." Clint continued. Maria only nodded slowly. Laura could tell she was thinking. Plotting what to say now. How to handle this situation.
"Natasha told you we need you?" Maria finally said, looking at Clint. He could only nod. "I am so sorry, Clint, and Laura. You know how much I would love to say we don't need you and you can just stay home, but we really do need you. The whole team does."
"Not to be disrespectful, but why?" Laura said after letting Maria finish her sentence.
"Well we don't want Clint or Natasha close to the scepter, but Clint has been… ermm… has some knowledge and might have some important impute. But we also need everyone on this case to even out the big field. This is a big base according to Natasha. Not far from the town itself. We are pulling everyone into this one. Including the Hulk." Laura turned to Clint who looked just as surprised. Bruce or the Hulk was the only one of the Avengers who hadn't been seen out on the field. They knew he was working a lot behind the scenes and they probably had sent him out without the media seeing it. But the Hulk had a big risk factor.
"I am not saying I won't go - "Clint started
"Don't have a choice." Maria cut him off with a strict voice.
"BUT when are we needed?" Clint cut in again. Maria only rolled her eyes before saying.
"A few days? A week? I don't know. Not right now. Stark and Rogers are working on a plan now. I was going to put Natasha in a small house arrest anyways, but since she already is at yours, I guess that will do." Maria answered looking between the two of them.
"Do you know what happened to her, in Sokovia I mean?" Laura tries carefully. Maria turned her head and her eyes softened. She looked at her and shook her head slowly.
"Not much. I only got a mission report. But…" Maria trailed off when Clint started moving around. "Is this somehow not interesting to you?" Laura turned around just as Clint was about to walk out the door for the living room.
"I need some air." He only mumbled before throwing his bow over his shoulder and walked out the front door.
"I am sorry for… him?" Laura said with a frown.
"Did I just witness your husband walking out of you while your wife is in another room crying?" Laura laughed softly at the comment before nodding. She knew Maria was joking but that was a very accurate description of how Laura felt.
"Yup. This day is awesome." Maria laughed back with a smile.
"As I was saying, Natasha didn't say much. She might just have been tired as far as I know. I don't think she is in the best mood. Pepper has been working a lot. And so is she so they rarely see each other -"
"They haven't broken up?!" Laura interrupted, earning a glare from the woman.
"No. But it has made a tear on their relationship I'm sure." Laura nodded slowly. It made sense why she was so emotional then. "How is she on your end?" Maria asked.
"Tired. Emotional. Angry. I think she is starting to get sick. She didn't seem to be in the best shape yesterday, even before Lila let it slip."
"And she just didn't react, well did she?" Laura shook her head no.
"Awful. She just walked out the door and disappeared for four hours. When she came back, she didn't want to talk to any of us. I found her sleeping in a chair the next morning. She had cried herself to sleep." Laura looked at Maria who only looked at her back not saying anything.
"I don't know why she reacted so badly. Like I knew she was scared when we announced Lila, but she is an amazing aunt." Laura said with a sigh. She watched Maria tilted her head like the answer was right in front of her. Like it was obvious.
"Laura, it is because of Barton. She didn't really have a saying in whether he was needed or not. Steve just announced it when she was on her way back home. Three? Days ago? If she isn't feeling great, she might be scared she won't be able to protect him the same way as before. And not to scare you or anything but this is a serious mission and the pressure is on if she knows you're pregnant. And it's not like she has anyone except me and you two to talk to as an outlet. Her priority has always been to protect him out in the field. She does everything in her power to protect her team, but if she doesn't feel well, and the added pressure of you alone expecting. That's a recipe for disaster." It was Laura's turn to only look at the other woman. She hadn't thought about it like that before. But she had a point. Natasha had always been there for Clint when they were out working. She had always made sure she took the blow. But Laura knew that came with a price, and even when Natasha was on the top of her game she always came home with cuts and bruises. But if Natasha couldn't protect them the same way anymore, it would have some consequences. What they were Laura didn't know, but whatever it was it wouldn't be out pretty.
"Just make sure she rests up. I don't want her sick. Help her if she needs it. We cannot have a broken Natasha. Honestly, I think Steve might kill me if we do." Maria said with a jokingly tone. Laura nodded. While Maria never said so if the order were clear. get her back on her feet. Or I send Captain America after your ass.