A/N: Last chapter. Oh my god, I cannot believe. This is stressing me out.
But don't worry everyone I will start a new fanfiction in the same series which will cover things after age of Ultron. So much more like AU vibe. I don't know if that will be after BlackPepper or whatever. (That's why this is part of a collection. And same on ao3.)
I am writing another fanfiction now, Flying sky high. It is a crossover with agents of shield. I think it is fun and very similar to this one in a lot of ways. I do recommend looking at that one if you like this fanfic. Lots of Nat there as well!
Also, epilogue or like a tease to the sequel or whatever at the end. Very excited about that one, I think…?
Anyways, until the next fanfic, make it a great week and you will see me back. Very soon!
S-B
She wanted to cry. Tears of joy, relief, happiness. He was right there, whole, alive. With a small smile and his kind eyes. His strong arms wrapping around her like a protective blanket as he hugged her.
They spent the rest of the day, everyone together. The four of them just taking it all in. Laura couldn't describe the feeling of seeing him back again. Sure, they had done it so many times before, him being on a mission for a longer period of time. But this was his home their home. And without him, it just didn't feel right. Besides, it was different now than before. With two kids and soon a new addition, plus the promise of not going back.
She knew she didn't want to ever see him go out that door again, and maybe she was selfish, but she was allowed to be, just this once. And knowing that might come true now. It was all that mattered.
After the kids went to bed, they spent hours talking. He talked about Ultron and his plan. How two of their enemies had switched sides. How this young woman, Wanda had become an ally. How she had stepped up when it really mattered, how many similarities he saw in her and Natasha. And how they all had stepped up and taken him Ultron down.
But he also talked about the bad sides. How the city was destroyed and civilian casualties. How Natasha had been captured after he had lost her. And how a young man, Wanda's twin had lost his life to save Clint.
It was a lot to take in. And Laura only understood maybe 10% of what he was saying. So instead she only curled up under his arms and let him talk. She listened and nodded. Because maybe she wasn't a spy from SHIELD and didn't know how to take down a robot monster, but she could be a supportive wife and listen to her husband.
They spent the night together cuddling and talking before they fell asleep. When she woke up the next morning, she couldn't do anything but smile. Having Clint home was exactly what she needed. Soon they would have their new son, and she just wanted his daddy to be there.
The only thing missing was Natasha. They hadn't heard from her at all which of course was worrying Laura quite a lot. She knew she survived the whole Ultron episode, but she also knew how much the situation had affected her.
Clint had talked about the two kids that had helped them. Pietro had been fast, and that was why he was able to save him. He could move faster than most, plus he was extradentary strong due to the experiments. Also known as being able to move cars apparently...
She had telekinesis, could read minds, move things with her mind, manipulate minds. She… she could to things with her mind.
What she had done to them, all of them. She had created a vision that wasn't real. Interpreted the past to make up a new feared vision. None of them had told each other what it was about and what they saw. From her understanding, everything they had seen had had major conserveness afterward, deeply affecting all of them.
Laura had seen them at the farm when they had visited. They were so lost at that point. Meaning she had succeeded. She had scared them and put them off their game. Now Wanda was with them back in the tower with Natasha and the team. And while she probably didn't want to mean any harm there, surely it had to have some side effects.
Clint had been invited to join them as they were rebuilding the tower and moving things over to the new facilities. Without announcing it to the whole world the team had decided to move their HQ to outside the city. To get a new fresh start.
A new team was going to be created. Inviting both Sam and Wanda to join as well as trying to integrate Vision, the creation from Ultron, Banner, Stark, and Thor, they were starting over on a new canvas.
Things were changing for the better or worse. That was just to be expected. Laura knew it would happen, but this change seemed good for them all.
She was sitting in the kitchen reading the newspaper with Clint sitting on the opposing side of the table scanning his tablet. The kids were on the floor reading, and a comfortable silence fell over the house. It was two weeks since Clint came home. He had been restless and anxious the first few days and Laura just tried to spend her day with him as much as possible. The summer was coming to its end and in just under 35 days they were expected to bring a new child to the world.
Laura was deep in her thoughts when she noticed Clint staring at her. His eyes were soft and kind as he looked at her.
"What?" Laura said with a voice that reflected his kind look.
"Nothing, I was just thinking. About everything that has happened, and how lucky I am to have you." Laura smiled softly at him before reaching out for him.
"I am lucky to have…-" her sentence got cut off when they heard the front door open. Laura turned around the same time the kids lifted their heads from their books. They weren't excepting anyone and by habit, Laura could feel herself and her husband tens up by the sound.
"AUNTIE NAT!" Laura stood up the same time Lila flew up from the floor and sprinted out to the hall. She threw a surprised look at Clint before following her daughter.
Laura turned the corner to find Natasha kneeling down hugging Lila tightly before she smiled at Laura with a small smile. Laura let out a small sigh when she met eyes with her friend, thankful it was her and not somebody less welcome.
Natasha was dressed in a casual look with just a leather jacket a black top and a pair of jeans. Around her neck, she had her arrow necklace which she chose to bear quite often. She was tired Laura could tell from the lack of life in her eyes. And when she stood up and walked over to her Laura noticed a small limp.
"Hi, stranger," Laura said with a small laughter when Natasha pulled her into a hug with maybe a bit more force than necessary. Natasha laughed back softly.
"Hello to you too," Natasha said pulling back smiling at all of them. While she seemed tired, she was surprisingly chipper. She didn't ask for permission as she led them into the room and plopped down on a chair. Lila immediately crawled onto her lap and Cooper to a seat beside her before the redhead wrapped her arms around the boy.
"So, you were able to escape the mess back home?" Clint asked as he lifted a bottle of red wine. It was the middle of the day, but Natasha nodded at the bottle, and to be honest Laura could use a glass herself if she hadn't been pregnant.
"Yes. I told Steve I needed to clear my head. A lot is happening back there. With… Maxi… with the new recruits…" Natasha trailed as she accepted the glass trying to balance it in her hands without Lila knocking it over.
"You mean the girl with the power and the twin to the boy who saved dad?" Cooper asked looking at the woman. Laura could see both Natasha and Clint freeze for a second before Natasha nodded softly.
"Yes. Her name is Wanda." Natasha said with a soft voice. Natasha looked at Laura for a second and it felt like to was more to the look than just a look. "She is very nice. I think you would like her." Natasha added slowly. And Laura wasn't sure if it was aimed at the kids or her.
"Well, you are more than welcome to stay as long as you want. But you already knew that." Laura said with a small smile. Natasha nodded at her before they fell into a new conversation far away from any work like topics.
Laura watched Natasha play with the kids all day before Clint and Natasha disappeared into the kitchen for a very needed one on one conversation between them. Laura knew Clint had gone home the second they got the green light while Natasha had held back. While she was happy he did, she also knew he needed time to process everything. Usually, he did that by talking to Natasha or before Coulson. So, having her now was very important to him, and Laura knew that. She wanted to give them all the time in the world, but at one point she needed to talk to Natasha herself.
Laura thought back to the conversation she overheard between Natasha and Banner. She knew what had happened back in the red room. Not by detail, but she knew she had been sterilized. And now she needed to confess, and then she needed to apologize.
Laura waited patiently in her room for Clint to either join her to at least see some kind of movement to know they had finished their conversation. But by 1 am neither had moved upstairs and Laura was starting to worry.
She didn't know why she did, and she should probably be sleeping. She was very pregnant, and it took most of her energy at this point, but she couldn't sleep knowing they were up.
Deciding to check up on them Laura moved downstairs. She was just about to walk into the living room when she laid eyes on Natasha in the kitchen. Natasha was hugging around Clint's head and she watched Clint sob into her chest with her comforting him, carefully letting her hand glide over his head.
She didn't look up, but Laura was positive Natasha was aware she was standing there, watching them as Clint for the first time cried since he came home. While he had explained everything to her, she knew he was holding back his emotions as they talked. Even when she had proposed the idea of making Pietro Nathaniel's middle name, he had seemed surprisingly neutral. Now he was crying into his partner's arms, completely falling apart in front of her, and all she could do was back up from the door.
She dragged herself back to the room not knowing what to do know. She felt awful. Did he not feel comfortable enough to talk to her? She knew she would never understand what he had gone through. Unlike Natasha, she hadn't been there, but it felt awful knowing he hadn't felt safe enough to tell her the full story.
The night was restless, and she was kicking around most of the time, and only partly because she felt like her stomach was about to blow. At one point she could feel Clint slip into the bed beside her, but she didn't know how late it was when he did.
When she woke up that side of the bed was empty again. She wasn't surprised, and she didn't have time to dwell on that now anyway. Their day needed to go as normal, even if their night had been more untraditional.
She slipped out of bed and went to look for the kids and the two adults. To her surprise, the house seemed very empty. It was only 9 am so she didn't get why before she noticed Lila and Cooper sitting out on the field with Natasha lying on a picnic blanket between them.
"Good morning." Laura didn't even turn around when she felt two arms dragging her into a hug from behind before she felt him kissing her neck softly. 7 years prior Laura would have screamed or jumped by surprise, but at his point, Natasha and Clint had snuck up on her so many times she had almost stopped showing any reactions.
Clint was surprisingly happy considering he had been crying last night. Not that he knew she knew. He smiled at her with a soft smile before leaning into her again kissing her again, dragging out a moan from her.
"Natasha had the idea of a picnic for breakfast," Clint said into her hair. Laura only nodded confused as he dragged her along with a basket in his other hand. She had clearly no saying in this, only following him obediently. Not that she minded at all.
She had no idea when they had woken up, but apparently, they had had time to make sandwiches for everyone as well as a very delicious looking fruit salad.
Natasha was still laying with her eyes closed when Laura and Cint walked up to them. It almost seemed like she was sleeping while Lila was playing with her hair, putting flowers in it. She had a relaxed expression on her face and Laura couldn't help but smile at her.
"Tash, get up, you are hogging the whole space." Clint kicked her leg softly making her open her eyes and groan loudly. Unlike Clint, she didn't seem to have been sleeping at all last night with big bags and a dark look in her eyes. But she didn't say anything she only sat up and smiled at Laura with a small smile.
Laura wasn't sure this picnic was just a cute idea or if it was because the two agents needed a distraction. Both were possible, and again she couldn't blame them. It was a beautiful summer day and one of the last ones before the kids would get back to school. She was happy they all could spend them together.
Natasha stayed away from all physical plays, confirming the limp Laura had caught on yesterday. But she did sketch butterflies with Lila and helped Cooper with some of his math and coding activities he had gotten hooked on the last few months. It was perfect, and even if it something more beneath the surface she wasn't sure if she wanted to ruin the moment just to uncover that.
Natasha was laying on the blanket with her head on Laura's legs as they were talking softly. They had moved to sit under a tree instead of out in the open sun, and Laura was now planted against the trunk of the tree leaning against it while playing with Natasha's hair which was covering part of her belly. Clint and the kids had gone into town to get pick out some ice-cream for dessert leaving only the two of them.
"Anything fun happening here while we were gone?" Natasha asked as she fiddled with one of the flowers Lila had picked for her.
"Not really. But nothing fun ever happens without you two. The kids make sure I hear that every day." Laura said with a small chuckle, making Natasha laugh softly with her.
"Well believe me when I say Sokovia wasn't very fun either. We did talk about some more house renovation ideas though." Natasha said with a wink, making Laura roll her eyes dramatically. Clint and his amazing ideas. Did she really wanna know?
"Anything fun happened when you were, you know back home." Laura winked down at her making Natasha turn her head away from her.
"Well according to the media Pepper is going to propose so." Natasha caught softly mumbling the line, making Laura laugh loudly.
"Is that so?" Laura said still laughing at the other woman who seemed very uncomfortable at this point.
"Yes, not what we have announced we are even exclusive, but apparently she was seen in a jewelry store and that equals getting down on a knee." Natasha turned her head back and tried to look at up Laura past her baby bump. Her eyes had a serious look and she seemed annoyed, but she still gave her a small grimace before saying.
"I love her, I really do, but I don't like having to be in the spotlight all the time." The I love her phase rolled off the redhead's tongue surprisingly easy which was a pleasant surprise. For the ten years, she had known Natasha, Pepper was the only love interest Natasha had had, and it had taken ages to even drag out she had a crush on her.
"I understand that. I think moving out of the middle of Manhattan is a good thing then." Laura said with a small smile.
This was the perfect opportunity to talk about that she had heard back when the avengers had visited, but she still felt bad for ears dropping and it was a sensitive subject for both of them.
"What's wrong, Laur? You are thinking very loudly" Natasha asked as she sat up and moved to sit across the other woman, her eyes locked with hers, clearly aware Laura was thinking about something important.
"I have a confession, and I need to tell you. And just so you know this doesn't change anything. I really wanted to tell you earlier, but I didn't know how because I know this is hard and sensitive. Plus, I know you are private and don't like us to push and…"
"Laura you are ranting, please stop," Natasha said softly letting a hand rest on her leg.
"Remember when you guys visited." Natasha nodded slowly.
"I overheard your conversation with Banner." Laura blurted out, and the second it slipped off her tongue she saw Natasha's eyes go wide.
"I am sorry I didn't tell you sooner. And I want to apologize for everything." Laura said slowly after a small amount of time. Natasha only looked at her before she took a deep breath. She didn't say anything, and Laura could feel the worry build up inside her.
"I know now why you reacted the way you did when we announced Nate, and it had to be even worse when we wanted to make you his namesake. I am so sorry if we hurt you." Again, Natasha was just staring at her. The empty look in her eyes told Laura she was hurting, and it sucked because of course, she didn't want to hurt her, but she did, but Natasha was so hard to read sometimes and impossible to predict.
"You could never hurt me." Natasha simply said before turning away from her. Laura watched her stand up and she didn't know if she should follow her or not as she walked away from her and towards the house.
"Wait, Nat, please." Laura let out a heavy groan as she stood up, not taking into the count that she could barely move with this belly.
The second she let out her uncomfortable sound Natasha turned around, eyes softened and turned concerned, almost running back to her to help her back into a sitting position.
"Natasha, I'm fine." Laura tried even if she felt the world slightly spinning. Natasha didn't respond as she pushed her down leaning her up against the tree again. She completely ignored her protests as she handed her some water.
"Why are you allowed to run off but the second I show any sign of being uncomfortable you are fuzzing over me?" Laura said accepting the water sipping it slowly.
"It's not the same, you are a mother and are very heavily pregnant," Natasha answered coldly taking back the glass putting it away almost aggressively.
"And? You don't think we care about you or something? Do you have any idea how worried I was about you, and it wasn't like I was trying to…" Laura trailed as she looked at her. Natasha's eyes were locked with hers and she could tell Natasha was waiting, like she knew where this was going, even though Laura didn't.
"Sometimes… "Laura let out a sight before continuing. "Natasha… you know I love you right?" Natasha looked at her, but she didn't nod or shake her head. She only looked at her holding completely still.
"You keep taking care of us and spend your every living, breathing moment to try to make up for something. And not just us, but for everyone, the whole world. Saving the earth, being an Avengers." Laura could feel the tears pushing now, but she couldn't stop now, she wouldn't. She needed to say it and Natasha needed to hear it.
"You keep putting your life on the line as if you aren't loved, as if it won't tear me apart if you die, as if you won't shatter my heart and everyone around you. Do you understand how much that hurts? To see your best friend keep putting herself in danger as if she doesn't matter. As if you don't value yourself or how much we value you!
Sometimes it seems like you are back, present and understanding. After hours of untangling ever stupid brainwashing techniques they used on you, you seem so… human. And other times, it's like all you don't see anything in yourself." Laura was sobbing at this point, crying her eyes out while Natasha still showed absolutely no sign of any emotions, proving again how much Laura truly lost, and how she never would find the true Natasha.
"Natasha, you saved the world. Twice. You are a superhero. You deserve everything. But you don't think so. You don't even think you deserve us. Which is why you keep telling me you are willing to risk everything as if you owe us. But you owe me NOTHING. I just need... you to see that." Laura whispered, closing her eyes and letting the tears fall. God this didn't even make sense. It didn't even connect to the Banner conversation, but these hormones were not making her any more reasonable.
"It's our graduation ceremony." Laura opened her eyes slowly as she for the first time after her rant heard Natasha's voice. It was shaking, and for the first time in a long time, Laura finally got to hear the spy talk about the red room.
"They say it is because a child is the one thing that might take our head away from a mission, the one thing that matters more. But that day, they took the only thing I thought I had left. The one choice I thought I had left. I was never meant for a life like this. I was designed, shaped into something that was supposed to be beyond that." Natasha looked at her, dead in the eyes, but Laura could see the emotions slowly appear in front of her. How her eyes softened and how her hands were fiddling as if she was nervous and saying something she wasn't allowed to.
"What Wanda showed me. Back in the red room. She showed every action that shaped me. From the yelling to the fighting, to training, to in discipline, to taking orders. How I learned how to fight, and how I learned to shoot. She showed me that even when I tried to fight it, I always lost. And at the end of the day, I never did have a place in a world, I was just another tool in their toolbox." Laura just cried. More than she could remember she had cried in years. She couldn't even see her face anymore, just water in her eyes as Natasha spoke.
"You don't think you belong with us? Your family?" Laura's voice cracked before she brought her legs up and buried her head in them.
She didn't know how long she was crying until she felt a hand on her back. She was almost dried out of tears at this point. She sniffed loudly before looking up meeting Natasha's green eyes.
"Back in Sokovia. I thought it was the end. I accepted my death. I even told Steve it was worse ways to go because even he couldn't see a way out. But at least I knew you back home would be okay. You have each other. This house. And between Clint and me you have more money I think you would ever need." Natasha moved over to her and opened her arms, letting Laura lean into them and continue to cry in silence.
Natasha had accepted her death. And Laura knew, she knew she could never change the redhead's perspective. She knew she could never get her to take it back and say; no, I want to live, I deserve to live. Because Natasha didn't. She had given up years ago. It was like the woman didn't have anything left to fight for as long as they were safe. Everything after that didn't matter, it never did.
"They took everything from me. My parents, my childhood, my virginity, my spirit, my personality. I am just scared I will lose my family too. To them, to all the evil in the world. And as long as you are safe, I don't need anything else." Natasha whispered and for the first time, Laura could see tears in her eyes.
"What if I am scared to lose you too?" Laura whispered pulling back. Natasha looked at her with tears in her eyes. Laura was sure she was going to protest, telling her she wasn't worthy because she always did. Instead, her eyes softened before she grabbed her hands.
"Guess I'll have to work on that then," Natasha said back with a soft voice making Laura almost breaking into a smile.
"You mean not dying?" She laughed between her tears.
"Yeah. And if you miss me that much when I am gone you can always call or skype me." Natasha said dragging her into a hug.
"Besides. It's not like I am on another planet or something crazy. I am never far from home."
Epilogue
Laura's heart was racing in her chest. She didn't know why but she felt like something was really wrong. Her guts were telling her something was off, and she didn't know what it was.
Laura almost screamed when the phone went off in the room. Even the kids reacted when their mom jumped reacting to the sound. Maybe it was her post-pregnant brain that was going crazy. She did have a lot of hormones in her system. That was just a fact.
Nate had been born October the 6th and like every other parent, they thought he was perfect. The big kids were great, helping if they needed it. Cooper was almost 11 now. And he could do most things around the house. He was also a great extra pair of eyes if they needed some on Lila.
The family didn't feel that much different after the new addition, which was very nice. So why was she feeling like her heart was bleeding?
Laura watched Clint look down on his phone with a small frown before disappearing out of the room. She was now stranded in a room with three kids where one was only a baby who was trying to nap. Of course, he started to cry the second the phone rang. And obviously getting him to calm down now was close to impossible.
Bouncing him wasn't helping and he didn't need a new diaper, so feeding him was the one thing left to try. Like the two others, he was a good eater and latched on more or less immediately. But even while he was feeding all Laura could think about was Clint who seemed to be away for a ridiculously long time.
When he did come back, he was upset. She could tell. The way he was holding around his phone, and his eyebrows who formed a frown.
"Kids go upstairs and pack. Kent invited you two to sleepover at theirs, I said yes. Now go." Clint said, waving at them. His voice seemed sharp and annoyed, and Laura stopped looking at him confused as she tried to transfer Nate into his crib.
"Excuse me?"
"Decided it just now. I said I thought it was a good idea. Perfect timing. Now go, hurry they will be here any minute." Clint said as he pushed them out of the room. The second they left Clint almost forcefully shut the sliding door to the living room. They never ever used that door ever. What was going on?
"Steve and Maria called," Clint said, turning to Laura with a serious and stressed look, dropping his phone on a chair.
"As in Steve Rogers?" Laura asked, already having a very bad feeling about where this was going.
"It was an accident at HQ. Natasha. They are bringing her here now." Laura could feel her whole body freeze. She wasn't ready. Not again. She couldn't bear it.
She was already in tears even before the quinjet landed, and she almost fell to the ground when Steve carried an unconscious body into the house. Natasha was lying in his arms with her eyes closed. She had a big abrasion covering the left side of the forehead and temple and her arm in a sling as if it was doing anything in that position. She was only dressed in a small crop top and loose pants showing the huge pat covering most of her abdomen right side.
Maria was trailing behind Steve with a small bag of Laura that was just assuming it was first aid equipment. The woman gave her a small look before she followed Steve into the living room forcing Laura to drag herself after them.
By the time she made it inside Natasha had been placed on the couch, still with her eyes closed.
"What happened?" Laura's voice cracked as she looked at the small woman.
"An accident. Should never have happened. She told me multiple times to not go through with it, but I did. It was my fault." Steve's voice was low, and he was clearly very down himself. Maria smiled at him carefully before turning to him fully, saying with a low voice.
"Maybe we should just show them." She was looking at him with a soft smile as if she wasn't blaming him but trying to help him heal instead. Steve straightened up before looking Laura in the eyes nodding.
Maria messed around in her bag before she picked out a tablet. She spent a few minutes going through something and in the meantime, Laura looked at Natasha who was still out cold.
"We gave her something to help her sleep," Maria said before she asked. Laura only nodded knowing what she was implying without her having to say.
"This. Is what happened." Maria handed Clint the tablet and Laura jumped closer to him and Steve to see what was on it. It was a paused video. Natasha was mid-jump between what she was guessing was supposed to be building models in a training arena. Right in front of her was Wanda keeping her eyes locked at something just outside camera angle.
Clint touched the screen after an affirmative nod from Maria and the security footage started playing. They watched Natasha jump a few more of the jumps as if they were dodging some kind of blast. Wanda was always two seconds in front of Natasha as the redhead kept yelling instructions and Wanda following them.
After the fourth jump, the video switched angle to a wide corner shot, and it was first now they could see them jumping away from War machine's blasts. They seemed dangerously real, denting a few of the corners of the buildings they were jumping between.
Natasha kept going between looking at the girl in front of her and Rhodey, but as the shots got more frequent, she could tell the girl got more and more unsure of herself. It was no time to second guess the jumps here. And while Laura was sure alone Natasha wouldn't have any problems with the exercise, she had another one to watch out for now forcing her to slow down a few times, making the jumps harder on her as well.
She had just directed the young member to what seemed like an easy jump before she screamed out in panic.
"WAIT NO!" Laura could hear Natasha scream through the screen just as Steve turned around to hide from what was on screen. Only a millisecond later Laura watched the blast make contact and she got hit in the side taking the blow from what should have hit Wanda in the head.
In shock, Laura grabs Clint's arm in horror of watching Natasha's limp body fall to the floor hitting with a force that made her slide multiple feet across the stone floor. Only just out of reach she can see Wanda reach out after her as she encased herself in a red mist only just softening the blow, making sure the doesn't hit the air supply out of herself, landing with a loud thud and groan.
She can see the girl struggle as she tries to force herself up from the floor. Just on the bottom of the screen Laura can see Steve and Sam run up to them and Rhodey landing but her attention is still on Wanda. The girl is more or less crawling to Natasha and not before she reaches after her again a red flash blinds them and they hear a loud scream.
She doesn't need to ask who to belongs to. She is so familiar with the voice, but god she wished the cry belonged to somebody else.
A/N: Yes, I am evil. You are all welcome.
Thank you all for the love on this fanfic. I am so honored. Thank you for sticking with me and follow me on this crazy journey of trying to figure out to do this. I love you all so so much.