Reupload cause it was not showing up. Originally written and posted at like 5 pm on November third.
This is an SVU fanfic, and usually, I would upload another chapter of the story with this next installment, but I wanted to post on the day I'm writing about. Expect the next (story) chapter tomorrow night. I wrote this to the tune of: Frank Oceans Close to You.
There I was, or, here I am because I am writing about today... Anyway, clad in flannel and feeling like a true midwesterner, even though we're in the bay area and I hate the real midwest, I rake our backyard that hurricane-force winds left a mess. Accompanied by the sweet smell of shriveled leaves and the tinklings of my siblings' conversations that penetrate my intoxicated mind, as they do the same around me. My day descended into chaos far earlier than I imagined. I woke up with the bad day heebie-jeebies and I think Donald Trump is gonna win. Even though these aforementioned feelings are terrifying, and even though I see the whole world on edge, I promised myself I would stay sober for all of it. Unfourtently, I broke that promise and promptly popped pills as soon as I caught whiffs of that expected trouble.
I'm becoming feeble in will and that's supposed to be terrifying, but half of the time I am too well settled in that layer of fuzz drugs puts upon me to even be such. Honestly, I'm waiting for the day when my mom walks into my room as I'm counting out my next dose, or when my father quizzically inspects me from across the dinner table and asks, "Are you high?" Sometimes, I just want to get ahead of the curve and bust out the news myself. "Hey mom, hey dad, guess what? I'm a drug addict!" *Jazz hands*
God...I've come so close to that sometimes. The words formed on my lips, all dressed up and ready to perform, mind racing, heartbeat slow. Common sense swoops in and quells it all, But god, I wait for the day when that sense will fail.