.7

"I was glad you did not pretend to be a saint and claim to love the world despite everything. That is why I decided that I would be your true friend. I would accept your sorrow. And I would share my joy. If you strayed I would reprimand you. If you made mistakes, I would forgive you. And when you found yourself in trouble, I would be there for you. So that you who learn to hate the world, would come to love it once more"~ Bleach

….

I am strong because I know that underneath it all that I am nothing. It is not true strength. True strength, well I have never been worthy of that. You see true strengths comes from something that I cannot do. Something that I will never be able to do.

You are at strongest when you have the capability to forgive. I cannot forgive, I know not how. It is not in my nature. Perhaps it never was. So I will never know true strength. But that is alright with me, because I only have to be strong enough to protect one person who never needs my forgiveness.

He has never hurt me in a way that warranted forgiveness.

Forgiveness was a hard thing, it meant that you had to let go of any hate or any ill feelings that was held in your heart. And honestly I didn't really want to part with those feelings. Why should I? The village had never forgiven me or my brother for things that we couldn't control. So why should I forgive for things that they could?

Haku's elbow resting on the top of my head rouses me from my thoughts. I look up at him through my lashes and glare. If you haven't realized by now, I am very particular about people touching my hair or my person in general. His smirk alerts me that he is aware, what a prick.

I think my attitude is rubbing off on him. That might not be a good thing. But who was I to be the judge of that.

"You are doing that thing again, when you glare at nothing." Oh I must not have controlled my face while thinking. I still needed to work on that. Shame, I thought I had gotten better at that.

While my brother was off taking the first part of the Chunin exams, and with Shishou gone as he had been called away for an obligation that he was not authorized to tell us about. I was left mostly to my own devices. Which meant wondering around the village with my charge, and thinking.

You know the normal stuff. Well normal for me a least.

"Ah, that's great. Now please remove you appendages from my person." His eyes rolled but he removed the offending limb. We continued in silence, until I was very literally run into by an angry villager. I was knocked to my ass.

The woman started to apologize but stopped mid-sentence when she seemed to realize who I was. She became a different person, her eyes cold. My eyes darkened, and my fingers dug into the stoned path drawing blood. Why? It had been over ten years since then, why couldn't they just let it go. A crowd started to gather.

It made me feel small. I tried not to let them affect me, but sometimes it was just too much. Like right now.

Haku helped me stand, he felt like the ice he manipulated. This would be the first time he'd witness the prejudice of the villagers. It also would not be the last.

"I can't believe they let both of those demons become shinobi."

"And have you heard that boy is taking the chunin exams."

"Oh no, how awful."

I bit my tongue, to keep from lashing out. The copper taste of blood filled my mouth. Their words made my blood boil, and my anger rise. Didn't they know how easily I could kill them all? Were they not aware of how much damage I could really do?

They were lucky though, because if they did not know, well they would never find out. Because of him. He is the only reason they are alive. Instead of cursing him they should be thanking him.

A hand landed on my shoulder. I looked up ready to glare at whoever it was. But my eyes stilled, what was the Jonin commander doing here? The Nara turned his intellectual eyes on them, and that's when I realized which store we were in front of, where we were.

It was the Yamanaka Flower shop, the one that Yamanak Inoichi ran in his free time. The man in mention was standing not far away with an air of disapproval and his arms crossed.

Silently the Nara led me away from the crowd into the bright building, his hand never left my shoulder. Not even when we were in the safe confines of the shop or when the blonde adult had started cleaning my bleeding hands. His pupilless eyes focused like steal, I couldn't figure out what he was thinking.

"How long?" I look up, into the dark eyes of the Nara clan head. It makes me feel even smaller.

"A long time." Their words and looks have been haunting me for a long time. Haku is very quiet, I think perhaps he is reminded of a similar time in his own life.

The Nara hums in response, a calculating look in his eyes. It makes me very uncomfortable. I turn my head back to the other man watching him as he finishes bandaging my hands. His look doesn't ease my uncertainty either.

I can't remember the last time someone other than my shishou has taken care of me. It's a hard feeling to swallow.

"You're a chunin now aren't you Mitomi-chan." It's not really a question, but I nod my head to respond anyway.

"Yes sir." The tone is meek, and I hate it. But I cannot shake this feeling of smallness. It makes me feel weak. I loathe this feeling, I wish I could disappear.

When my hands are cleaned and wrapped it is only then when the dark haired man lets go of my shoulder. I stare into my wrapped hands for a moment before giving a thankful look to the two men. I think that at one point they had been friends with my parents.

The Nara sighs. "Why don't you two accompany me back to the tower, I'm sure you want to know the results of the first exam." I nod my head mutely. Because I do want to know the results of the test. I cannot help my curiosity.

It was because of situations like this one that made it hard for me to want to forgive them. Why should I forgive them, if they could not forgive me? Why should I have to put up with this shit? If they couldn't let go of their own anger?

It wasn't my fault.

It had never been my fault.

Forgiveness worked both ways.

I wanted to hate them, it was my right.

They deserved my hatred. Even if it didn't make it right.

But I was beyond the point of caring. Or so I continued to tell myself.

At this point I should have known better. But I still wanted to believe the lies I fed myself.

It was what I was good at after all. The only thing I was good at.

XOXOX

This chapter was a pain in my ass to write. It was rewritten a total of five different times. But I can honestly say I am happy with how it turned out.

Thank you everyone who has favorited, reviewed, followed, and alerted this fic! It means so incredibly much to me to know that this thing that was made on a whim as a stress relief from the two jobs that I work has been so popular. You guys are awesome! So thank you very much!

Please let me know what you think and perhaps what you would like to see happen or if your curious about anything. Just leave a comment or PM me and I'll be happy to answer any questions. Again thank you so much!

As per usual I own nothing.

Sincerely, La'Rae