I do not own D'Gray Man or any of the anime references in this anime

Summary: OC insert. Bonnie didn't know how she fell in the world of an anime show she hasn't watched in years. Honestly, she wasn't even a big fan of the series.

Chapter 4

Beta Reader- StormyMonday

Some much-needed sleep did wonders for me, and I was finally able to stop and really ponder my situation.

I was at the Order now...

Shimazu was gone...

Carol was not with me...

My eyes opened to see a white ceiling. An intravenous tube was inserted into a vein on my wrist, and an annoyed woman stood over me, looking at her clipboard. She had blonde hair in a tight bun and a very, very intimidating expression.

I began to sit up, but she stopped me. "Don't push yourself," she snapped. "Honestly, you're a new Exorcist and I can already see you're going to be a headache."

She sighed, exasperated. "I'm the head nurse of this Headquarters. Miss Sanders, to not say anything about your condition is so irresponsible on your part. Moderate dehydration, sleep deprivation, and electrolyte imbalance. Are you trying to get yourself killed, even before your first mission?"

I ducked down and pulled the blanket over my face, feeling uncomfortable.

I sat up, embarrassed to discover the stain my greasy hair had left on the pillow. SO GROSS! "Um, thanks for taking care of me," I said as I scratched my arm uncomfortably, feeling the bits of dried mud flake off.

Her eyes continued to study me and I avoided her hard gaze. I probably looked and smelled like shit.

"How long was I-" I began, my eyes fixed on the chipped tile.

"Look at me when you speak child!" snapped Head Nurse.

"How long was I out?" I squeaked. It'd been a while since someone has called me a child.

"Two days."

I blinked in shock. I was out for two days... I mean I've been unconscious before because of that slave-driver, Shimazu, but never two days straight. I bit my lip, wondering how much of the series has progressed since then. "Can I have a shower or something?" I asked, and her gaze softened somewhat.

My body was a little weak after she removed the IV, so she helped me onto my feet and to the shower.

Despite being quite temperamental, Head Nurse was gentle as she helped me remove clothes, and I noticed that I had a few scars from training in the mountains with Shimazu. She helped me shower in calming silence. Normally, I would have wanted to fill the silence with questions or some other kind of noise, but this time I just wanted to focus on the warmth of the water and the feel of soap suds on my skin and in my hair. I started humming blissfully, swaying my body from side to side.

For the first time in two years, I felt at peace. I didn't know what was going to happen once I left the medical ward, but I was glad that I didn't have worry about my next meal, or if something was going to attack me, or about Shimazu assaulting me for relaxing.

"It's been a while since I've been taken care of," I said to Head Nurse as she was washed my back.

I could feel her movements; she didn't even pause. I don't think my mother ever washed my back... I was always too busy taking care of her, instead. I decided to let the Head Nurse concentrate on her own thing while I continued to stare blankly.

I wondered if Mom will be alright...

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Feeling refreshed and cleaner than ever, I stretched, feeling my joints pop. Head Nurse had given me a uniform that someone from the science department had made. It consisted of a skirt and shorts to go underneath, with a tight-fitting coat.

I looked good, although I had always preferred baggy jackets. I wondered if I could get them to give me a baggy jacket, instead. I mean, wasn't it going to get in the way if I wore a skirt? Well, at least it wasn't as short as Lenalee's - she looked great, but I didn't want to be constantly playing 'who wore it better' with myself.

I studied my appearance in the mirror. I had asked Head Nurse to cut my hair, because untangling knots was going to be a literal headache otherwise. It was a lot shorter now, reaching just below my shoulders. I wondered what to with it; Side pony, high pony or low pony or no pony.

A knock on the door took my attention away from the mirror.

"You're awake," smiled Lenalee.

I return the smile. Lenalee was probably a few inches taller than me and had a very elegant look about her. Her legs were the definition of the expression of 'legs for days.' and I had to mentally stop myself from comparing.

Maybe I should ask for pants?

"Sorry!-" we both yell at the same time, but I'm sure for two very different reasons.

We blinked at each other and then start laughing.

"I'm sorry, I should have realized you were tired. I dragged you all around the Order," explained Lenalee.

"No, it's not your fault. I should have said something. I should know better," I admitted. Mentally, I was a couple of years older than the girl.

Suddenly, I heard my stomach growl and I blushed, embarrassed. "Um…"

"I'll show to the dining hall," she giggled.

"Before that…" I spoke up, stopping her steps. "How should I do my hair?" I asked.

She didn't say anything, so I started to explain to her my thoughts while demonstrating my hair in different styles.

"See, the low pony makes me look a little more mature but It's uncomfortable on my neck," I said.

I pulled my hair higher. "I like this one but I feel like I'm going to be competing in 'a who wore it better' with your swordsman friend and I like to be an original."

I pulled my hair to the side. "Side pony, says cheerleader. Looks more approachable but I don't know if I have the confidence in it."

I let go off my hair and fluffed it a bit as it fell in curls. "I prefer it like this, but it will get in the way during missions."

I wondered if I was going to go on a mission today- I mean I just got discharged.

I was met with silence, so I turned back to face the girl, who had an odd expression. "Lenalee?" I called, and she shook herself out of her weird daze.

A smile erupted on her face, warm and even happier than before. "The side pony is cutest."

Cheerleader it is.

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As I walked with Lenalee, I asked her about mundane things. I didn't want to ask her about the Order. I knew from my memories that Carol would complain about how contradictory they were.

She had once said that, while the Earl used grieving humans as weapons, the Order used people as well. I remembered her talking about how mad she was with what they did to Kanda, and that all the characters at some point were their victims, even Lenalee.

I remembered vaguely that Lenalee was taken from her brother, and that he worked hard to move up in the ranks to become Chief Scientist at European Branch Headquarters, all for his sister's sake. It was admirable.

It made me see Komui in a more respectable light, despite my irritation with him.

Lenalee also kept the conversation light until we came to the dining hall.

Then, Lenalee introduced me the most fabulous person ever- Jerry! Dark skinned with muscles, he wore white with a pop of pink in his hair that broke up the white in his outfit and grey hair.

"Stylish! I love your hair!" I squealed, seeing as it was a similar style to Nicole Scherzinger's in one of her music videos.

I blinked, blushing a little. He reminded me of my queer friend back home, and I felt mortified that I just behaved in the way I would have with her.

"Thank you! I'm Jerry and also love your style!" he smiled, enthused with a blush on his face.

I felt a kindred soul. "I'm Bonnie Sanders. Call me Bonnie," I smiled.

"Jerry is the Order's own personal chef. He caters to everyone and can make anything," explained Lenalee.

"Oh, you're making me blush, little LenAh-lee" he sang, looking chuffed. He turned his gaze to me. "What will it be?"

I paused. I didn't know any 19th century food. Was it the same thing I ate in my time? Could I just order a Mc Donald's burger? "Is there anything you can recommend? I've been hunting food these last two years and I don't even know what I want."

He grabbed my hands. "You poor baby! You've been deprived for so long!" he cried, and I nodded. Yes, it was torture. I soaked up the pity from him.

I sniffed. "It was terrible, I was tortured. I was hungry and even had to live on grass for the first few days!"

He nodded, understanding. He ducked back into the kitchen, and in a few minutes appeared with a platter.

"Yeah, my amazing Pork Roast!" he cried, and I looked at the meal, which seemed like enough to feed a family of four.

Why does anime food always look so good?

Will I be able to finish it?

Oh my god I can't stop eating this is delicious.

"By the way, how's Allen?" I asked Lenalee, offering her a piece of meat which she declined with a shake of her head.

"He went on a mission to Southern Italy."

"Ah," I said, feeling disappointed. If I was awake, I could have asked him to get me a souvenir.

"Don't worry, he's with Kanda. He'll be fine," she assured me.

'That actually does make me worry...' I thought as I blinked at her.

Allen was on his first mission already… Wow, they really put you to work. For the first time, I was thankful that Shimazu had trained me prior.

The only thing I remembered about Allen's mission with Kanda was it had to do with some doll and she sings some lullaby... and did they lose a Finder?

"Lenalee," called a voice, and we turned to see a man wearing a lab coat and spiky, blonde hair.

"The Chief wants you to bring the newbie to the office once you guys are done," he said.

He looked at me while I blinked at him, fork in mouth. Name's Reever," he introduced.

"Call me Bonnie," I said after swallowing.

He saluted and walked off.

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When we got to Komui's office, all I saw was a messy table and books scattered everywhere. Lenalee shook her head, probably embarrassed by the state it was in. The inner organizer in me wanted to tackle the giant mess.

"Welcome, I hope you're ready for a mission," smiled Komui, and he gestured for me to sit. "We have found an Innocence fragment in Belarus, and there have been reports of vanishing young girls around the area. Proceed with haste and caution. Capture the Innocence," he explains.

I gulped. "Umm, on my own?" I questioned hesitantly.

"No, you will be teaming up with my Lenalee!"

I blinked. "So, it's like boys versus girls?"

Everyone in the room looked confused and I smiled, trying to make light of the situation.

"Team Bonnie versus Team Allen!" I clasped my hand together. "Who can accomplish the mission first, capture an Innocence and come back with less injuries. Let's see who is going to be the most promising rookie?"

Komui pushed his glasses up. "That's a great idea! I have my faith in Team Bonnie! " cried Komui. Obviously, he wanted to support his sister's team.

:::

That's how we found ourselves on a train as first class passengers. I hummed in happiness. A life of luxury- this is what I miss. The only thing that would have made things better was if I had my cellphone or if YouTube existed... I missed watching the Vlog Squad.

"You've gotten used to things Bonnie-chan," smiled Lenalee conversationally.

I paused thoughtfully, looking at her. "Just call me Bonnie. Do you mean at the Order?" I asked, and she nodded in reply, a sad smile on her face.

I guess I was making myself more comfortable with everyone because subconsciously, I felt as if I knew everyone already, despite my memories of the series being scarce. Plus, there was Shimazu's training.

"I haven't had normal human contact for so long... I hope it's not weird to everyone." I was starting to feel self-conscious.

The show is Japanese with Japanese customs, despite the heavy Westernized influence on the aesthetic. Wasn't it rude to be too familiar with people you just met?

Lenalee shook her head. "No, it's very refreshing. I think you made it easier for everyone else too. New Exorcists who join the Order always have a hard time," she started. "I wasn't able to become comfortable here for a long time."

"But your brother is here," I pointed out.

I never really paid much attention to Lenalee's character. I was a fan of characters like Saber and Erza Scarlet. The dangerous female leads who you respected for their power and no-nonsense attitude.

"I was alone at first. I was relieved when my brother came. I was totally unable to leave his side for a while," she said.

"What for real?!" I gasped, shocked. It seemed like the other way around.

"Yep, after some time the Order felt like a home. It didn't feel too dark. I even became friends with Kanda. Though I thought he was a girl when we first met," she admitted.

"I don't blame you," I snorted. Thinking about it, there weren't a lot of women at the Order. It was the 19th century so it makes sense that some woman would not consider being Finders or becoming scientists... Lenalee is surrounded by guys a lot.

"How about this after the mission we go shopping? We can buy a present for your brother," I offered.

"For Nii-san?" she repeated.

"I'm bribing the judge," I grinned.

She sweat dropped and shook her head. "I don't get the competition," she admitted.

"I just want to cause some trouble. I wanna see how angry I can get the swordsman before he starts attacking," I confessed. I should make sure I'm standing near Allen when I do.

"You're terrible," she laughed.

"Oh you love me," I shot back playfully.

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Belarus was a country close to Russia. Our destination was a town called Kobryn. It had a rather cold climate and I was already regretting this uniform.

A Finder by the name of Eugene greeted us at the station. He had purple tattoos on his face that reminded me of the character Rin Nakamura from Naruto. He also had almost brownish hair and an infectious, welcoming smile.

"Welcome Lenalee- sama and Bonnie-sama," he greeted.

"Just Bonnie for me."

Eugene explained that there had been a disappearance of around ten girls in the last two weeks, each one around nightfall. There was never a specific place, some were taken from their beds, and all were around the age of sixteen.

Last night, a girl was taken while walking home with her elder brother. Allegedly, the brother had turned away for only second and she was gone.

We spent the night in a fancy hotel and I enjoyed a hot shower that chased the chill of me.

The next day, Lenalee and I split up to gather intel.

I looked around at the shops, wondering about a gift for Komui, which I hoped would gain me a win and a bit of support from him. He was the Chief, and naturally I wanted him on my side.

I paused, feeling like a phony. I was using my knowledge from the series to gain people's favor... somehow it left a bad taste in my mouth.

My thoughts were interrupted by some people whispering nearby.

"Oh, look it's Mister Reyes."

"Poor man, he looks so haggard."

I looked to the man, who was walking in a daze. His face was littered with bruises and his eyes looked so dead. His shoes were worn and his pants dirty. The man passed me, his gait staggering.

"It's because he was with Lilia when she was taken," said a woman.

My eyes widened. Lilia Reyes was the last victim to disappear.

"Night after night... this is becoming creepy," said another woman.

"It's dreadful! When night falls, will another girl be abducted?"

I ran back to him. "Mister Reyes!"

The man in question turned to me.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to hear your story. Is that alright?" I asked politely.

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"This is where Lilia was taken... you may not believe me, but she was walking right behind me," he said, taking me to a pathway. It was desolate area. Next to it was an old shabby building.

"What's here?"

"That's the old Moulin Hotel. Nobody goes there anymore. Do you think Lilia-"

"No, I'm just asking!" I said, not wanting to give him false hope. "Can you tell me why it's abandoned?"

"Well, there was an old story... The owner had two children, a girl and boy. His youngest, the son went missing when he was seven years old, while the oldest went sick from looking for him. It was said that the sister's soul still haunts the rooms looking for younger brother. Her brother liked the sound of a flute, and you could hear its music whenever a guest would stay there."

I tried not shiver... I couldn't deal with child ghosts. After The Ring, and every other horror movie involving child ghost stories Carol had made me watch, I had a healthy fear of them. My spirit animal could literally be Courage the Cowardly Dog. I was the type of person who would hear a sound coming from a hallway and decide to walk the other side. I'm the person who takes the stairs because of paranoia of the elevator breaking and plummeting to the ground.

"Bonnie!"

I looked to see Lenalee jogging toward me with Eugene.

"Hey, did your lead take you guys here, too?" I asked.

"I spoke with the first missing daughter's family. Isabella was curious about the story of the hotel and tended to spend a lot of time around here," said Lenalee.

I nodded, sadly the other victims didn't fit the MO- but it seemed everything started with the first missing girl.

Lenalee and I shared a look. Well, at least it was daytime, so it wouldn't hurt to look.

"This is Victor Reyes- his sister vanished here," I explained.

"So, there must be something going on with the hotel!" cried Victor, looking at the historic building. He took off without a word, running toward the entrance.

"Reyes-san!" Lenalee called after him, but the man disappeared.

We blinked in confusion.

"Eugene-san, we'll be going after Reyes-san. Bonnie let's go," said Lenalee.

I looked up at the sky and did a silent prayer to my spirit animal. I was not mentally prepared for this.

I followed Lenalee, coming to stand next to her. "Just as a warning... I'm terrified of ghosts," I inform her. "So, excuse me if I start crying or hiding behind you."

"Don't worry, I'm sure it's not a ghost... I'm here with you," she assured with an awkward pat on my shoulder. Lenalee nodded to Eugene, who sat down, perhaps to stay out of our way.

I took a breath and took a step with her. This is one step for cowards, and one step for coward-kind.

When we entered the hotel grounds, it was suddenly night. I noticed the hotel was washed in red, like a someone used the wrong filter.

"Reyes-san!" called Lenalee. The man was running with a girl in his arms... Lilia perhaps. She had golden-blond hair, which was darker than mine, and pale skin. A real beauty. Reyes, was bleeding on his shoulder and his eyes expressed pure terror.

The man had disappeared for barely a second. What happened?

"Monster!" he cried. "There's monster! You have to run!"

"Give her back!" It demanded. It was short and fast. I couldn't see it's face but it definitely was an Akuma.

"Bonnie, it's a level two!" cautioned Lenalee.

"She's miiiine," it screeched.

Reyes-san, stay behind me!" I tell him.

I heard the faint sound of a flute, then the anguished cry of the akuma.

"You can't have her!" Lenalee rushed ahead, aiming a kick, but was dodged by the akuma.

It redirected towards me at full speed, and I activated my Innocence, only to have my body be flung through a window.

"Bonnie!" cried Lenalee.

Adrenaline washing over me, I sat up and pulled out the glass from my shoulder. Great, my first mission and I've already been bested by a window...

I looked around to find myself in an old music room. Most of the furniture was covered with white sheets, and the dust was layered with even more dust.

I needed to help Lenalee... I didn't have the confidence to make a shot here. What if I hit Lenalee or hurt one of the Reyes?

I made my way to the window, when I heard the sound of the flute. Suddenly, I was filled with memories...memories I had tried to bury these last few years.

My life flashed before my eyes, as if the flute was seeing into my past.

It played a sad melody as I watched my father beating my mother black and blue and leaving her on the ground. I saw myself always trying to save her, but being disappointed because it was fruitless. She couldn't be saved unless she changed.

I saw myself taking out my frustrations on my younger brother, and our relationship crumbling with every cruel word I spat at him. I had started to become my father; my words were a similar blade. I remembered meeting Carol, and for the first time I felt like I had found someone I could rely on, someone who understood and who picked me up and stopped me from becoming him.

I was a cruel person before I met Carol. I was a vindictive and selfish bitch. I was the type of person who would tell someone I was 'okay' but didn't really mean it. I was always dishonest, and I hated myself.

Tears fell as I found this disgusting feeling swell up inside me; the feelings and thoughts I usually push down in a little box in my head gushing out like a broken fire hydrant.

Why?

I tried to focus on something else, something happier...

The flute...

It must the flute! It was the Innocence doing what I did best - I repressed all of my negative emotions by putting my energy into other things.

I followed the sound of the flute. It was in this room. I found that as I got closer, the feelings of self-hatred grew with each memory.

I wanted to throw up. I wanted to scream.

When I finally found the flute, a flash of memories hit me.

A little boy who loved his older sister and admired her.

A little girl, who wanted to protect her younger brother.

He died and she was offered a deal...

The Millennium Earl.

I saw the little brother kill his precious sister and couldn't help but cry at the tragedy of their fate.

My body found its way to the window. Lenalee was having a hard time protecting the Reyes', as well as taking care of the akuma.

"Innocence, activate," I said, my eyes dried from tears and filled with determination. I took a deep breath, channeling every sound and expanding my lungs. I pulled my shoulder back and aimed.

A beam of light pierced through the akuma, and I could almost hear a child's anguished cries turn to relief.

"Rest," I said to the disappearing akuma. I continued to stare as I watched Lenalee make her way to check on the Reyes family. I didn't think my first mission would be more emotionally draining than physical.

I looked back to the Innocence in my hand.

It was over.

Slowly making my way out of the hotel, I tried to pick up my mood by thinking about something witty to say to Lenalee, or maybe doing some shopping.

"Bonnie! That was a good shot!" she said, but her smile dropped as if seeing through me.

I felt exposed, so as a reflex I shot her a shaky smile. "I found the Innocence," I announced, holding out the flute to her.

She looked at it briefly before giving me a look of concern. "Are you alright?"

"I just don't do ghosts. Can we get some Finders out here to look for the other girls?"

"You saw a ghost?"

"Something like that."

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"So, you think the Innocence has the ability to bring out memories and it was bringing out the memories of the dead owner's son who was the akuma?" asked Eugene.

I explained the whole thing to Lenalee and Eugene on our way back to headquarters. Leaving out the details of my past, I mentioned I had seen an old friend.

After the mission was complete, I rewarded myself with a shopping spree in Korbryn. I asked Lenalee about decorating my room and decided to buy a few things there. Shopping. The world's best distraction. I bought clothes, cute underwear and some colorful pillow cases that looked so pretty. Lenalee and I settled on buying Komui a cute hat, and Lenalee and I bought matching ones.

By the time we left the station, I was glad Eugene had to report to headquarters, because we needed another pair of hands to help carry my treasures.

"Hmm... the Earl found the grieving daughter and told her he could bring her brother back...and her brother did come back. I think the Innocence showed him memories of his sister and I guess he was trying to replace her or find her... I don't really understand its feelings of why he took those girls, but he was so desperate." I looked away sadly.

"It showed you the boy's memories?" asked Eugene, starring at the flute in awe.

I suddenly felt really anxious. Would it show my memories to just anyone? I tried not to think of the implications if it could.

"That's good, you helped him move on and rest. He's finally reunited with his sister," smiled Lenalee. She looked at the hat we had purchased for Komui, gripping it tightly. "Being separated must have been painful..."

I didn't say anything. Being separated from family... Honestly, I couldn't really understand Lenalee or that little boy's feelings.

I felt like a terrible person thinking like this. Perhaps I was even more heartless than the akuma I exorcise.

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