I do not own D'Gray Man or any of the anime references in this anime
Summary: oc insert. Bonnie didn't know how she fell in the world of an anime show she hasn't watched in years. Honestly she wasn't even a big fan of the series.
Beta Reader- StormyMonday
Chapter 6
I stared at my target. I had wandered into the training room feeling suffocated by the silence of my room. I was light headed and aimless. No YouTube to distract me from my unhappiness or movies to indulge and get lost in.
What was my purpose here?
Why was I in this world?
I was having fun with decorating my room but as I wait for the paint to dry- it got me thinking...
I needed to train. Shimazu spent a lot of time training up my stamina and endurance. I was taught survival rather than being an expert marksman.
I was good at running and dodging. I wasn't some epic Hero like Luffy D Monkey or Naruto- I was a coward side character who was inexperienced in fighting.
Aim...Focus...breath...Release
Bam!
I couldn't protect anyone.
Aim... Focus... Breath... Release
Bam
Will I end up causing more harm to the story line? I didn't even know the story line. I knew about Suman's character dying but that's about it. It was memorable because of the butterfly and introduction to that Noah character. I also knew the headquarters would be infiltrated but that's about it.
I continue like this for two hours and growl in annoyance that I hit nothing on the centre target. It's an improvement from missing the board completely but I felt sick that I having a hard time not getting a precise shot on a motionless object.
I glare at the bow clasped in my hand. Why couldn't I of gotten a sword. Learning swordsmanship seemed more appealing than this. My anger toward Kanda increases ten folds.
He has a sword... It's unfair.
A swell of annoyance bubbled within me like an overflowing pot. I wanted to slam my bow on something. Will I ever be good? What use am I in this world?
"Bonnie?" a voice says interrupting my thoughts.
I turn to Lenalee walking toward me casually with a concerned smile.
I try to smile as she approaches. "Morning," I salute with a cheesy wink.
"You seem frustrated," she notes not buying into the act that makes me drop my expression entirely. I look at the floor avoiding her gaze.
"My aim sucks," I say feeling quiet childish by my words sounding like an overreaction.
Lenalee doesn't say anything and I felt awkward wondering if I should elaborate or feel embarrassed that my troubles seemed so insignificant compared to grander scheme of things such as a world where a man uses people's grief against them.
I felt a hand on my shoulder, I turn my body toward her and a very clumsy hug followed after. It reminded me of my first awkward hug with a Carol when her dog died.
"Is this about the Millennium Earl?" she asks.
I missed the shot with the Millennium Earl. I wasn't expecting to kill him or anything. I didn't have the confidence that I could make a difference. Shooting at the Earl was my own revolt towards what he did to Jean.
Lenalee probably assumes I felt disappointed at myself for missing my shot.
I neither confirmed or denied her assumption. I wasn't mad at myself for not being able to stop the villain who made the world a worst place than it is. I was disappointed at my own uselessness.
I'm such an awful person...
"I guess I'm just a little shaken about what happened to John and Leo. They are both kids..." I trail off.
She pulls away and looks me in the eyes. "It's terrible what happened. The Earl needs to be stopped. This is why we're all here. You're not alone Bonnie. We are fighting this war together."
"I know... It's just very frustrating. I want to be stronger if I have to face him again," I say. I don't want to be on the sidelines again- I thought in my head remembering how Lenalee and Allen fought off Akuma.
"How about you visit the science department? Maybe they could help you with your training. They made me weights to use on my legs so I could train my muscles to jump and run more efficiently," she suggests.
"That sounds like a good idea," I say deciding that I should take advantage of whatever assistance I can get.
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"Bonnie, what can I do for you?" asks a curly haired scientist with swirly glasses and purple beaded necklace... huh I'm getting a hint of uke vibes. I think I'm feeling yaoi deprivation hit me now.
"I actually came down here because of Lenalee's advice. I have an equip Innocence that is used for long range style of fighting but my aim is sort of lacking," I explain.
The man nods as I speak looking thoughtful. "We were actually working on a program for you. It should be done in a few days but we still putting the finishing touches," he explains he adjusts his glasses and motions me to follow him leading me to a table with drawings and designs. "See, we working on moving targets and attacking targets," he explains showing me designs of bird looking models.
I eye the designs curiously. "Looks pretty cool- but I don't feel comfortable shooting birds... I mean I know they aren't real or anything. I don't like hurting animals," I say. Memories of living on a mountain with Shimazu causes me to shiver.
"Ahh, that's understandable... Hmm... do you have any other idea on what I can replace the design with? I can make them look like Akuma," he suggests.
"Or you can make the look like Kanda," I quip playfully.
"No way, you are suppose to be using them. If Kanda sees them he would definitely destroy all of them," says Johnny sweatdropping.
"Aww, but I think my aim would definitely improve," I say.
"You just want to cause trouble," he shakes his head and I laugh being caught out. I take a look at the amount of stacked paper in the room and thanked the heavens I didn't have to fill any reports.
"Oh by the way, how do you feel about the uniform? I made the design," questions Johnny as I help him gather up some scattered papers on the desk.
"It's a bit uncomfortable. Can I have a longer skirt with a slit on the sides to make it easier to run. I'm a little self-conscious about my legs. They aren't as slender as Lenalee's," I point out.
He looks at her and blinks studying her outfit. "If I make them longer it might get in the way of your battles. When I saw you attack Kanda at the gate. You seem to move fast," he says. I wanted to protest that Kanda was the one that attacks and I was defending my friend. "You have nice legs too," he gives her thumbs up as he checks out her legs.
Okay- he's not a uke.
I sigh in disappointment of my lost uke best friend I had wanted to have. I miss Yaoi so much.
"If you want. We can incorporate black tights," he relents.
Not caring anymore I just conceded. Whatever made people happy- I didn't want to bother the guy. I'm sure he has more important things to do than make me a uniform.
I spend the day in the science department helping them carry their paper work. It was nice talking to Johnny. He had really awesome earphones and excitedly wondered about the music in this world but everyone was so focused in work I had decided not to distract them.
"Captain Reever, what if this paper work never ends?!" cries out Johnny both scientist were slumped on their desks.
"Don't give up- it'll end probably sometime," assures Reever. "Anyway, I wish we could get some damn grub around here..."
"I could get you guys something," I announce thinking I could maybe cosplay as a waitress while I'm at it.
"Ahaha! We are alright! We can eat later!" assures Johnny stopping me from making my way to the door.
"I don't really mind helping out. I also wanted to get a snack," I say.
"Actually Bonnie, I need you to help me carry these papers onto this desk," says Reever directing me to giant pile of paper and I instantly regretted my offer to be of assistance.
I hear a banging like noise as everyone looks up to it. "Must be the Supervisor," mumbled Russel who was sifting through documents.
"Rejoice you all! My research division has our salvation in hand!" yells Komui and I look to which the man had appeared.
Russel pales as if looking sick. "I have a bad feeling," he states.
"Salvation?" I repeat looking at Russel who shrugs and looks suspicious at the same time.
Komui is good guy right? He's not going to pull an Aizen Sousuke or Griffith on the Order- right? Damn my limited knowledge.
A sudden explosion causes the door and brinks to rip off and a giant robot with a tiny head and a big body appears behind Komui. Komui makes a bizarre pose that is reminiscent to Team Rocket of Pokemon.
"What the hell is that ridiculous huge robot?!" asks Reever.
"It's got a hat..." points out Johnny.
Huh-so it does. It gives the robot some character.
"It's our savior! It was just finished! Now all your jobs will be as easy as pie!" gushes Komui like a girl in love.
Huh KomuiXRobot? I guess I could get on that ship. If I can fall in love with Astro Boy- I think all love can work. A love between man and robot... Oh like Reg and Riko from Made in Abyss! Wait does this Robot Identify as female or male?!
"Seriously?!" exclaims Johnny
"Of course my friends! With this machine your workload will be cut in half!" yells Komui
Everyone excitedly chattered about how kind Komui was to think about them while I pondered on a wedding venue on the two. Wait what did Komui identify as? How will we find an outfit big enough for Robot? Honeymoon? Will Komui let me walk him down the aisle? Wait the Robot had pink stripes- it could be female? But men can like pink too!
"Supervisor, let's start it up right now!" says Reever running up to the Robot.
"First we have to think of a name," says Komui stopping said scientist.
"A name?" repeats Reever.
"What would be good? I'd like to hear what all think." says Komui.
"Um, how about helper number one," says the guy with a bandage by his eye.
"Rejected," shoots down Komui
"Innocender 1," suggests Johnny all gun-ho.
"Rejected."
"Mrs. Lee!" I suggest and everyone looks at me weirdly.
"I like it! But wrong Title," says Komui and I was both disappointed and elated at the same time. Disappointed Komui didn't pick my name but elated that I might have some Yaoi to enjoy.
"Why don't you decide supervisor?" suggests Reever.
"Really? Okay- How about Komurin 2," he suggests.
"Okay, but why 2?" asks Reever.
"Well, Kanda chopped the first Komurin in half before I can show it off. He said it ate his soba or something," says Komui looking dejected.
Komurin... Ko-mu-rin... Rin!
"It's not going to last long," I say to Russel.
"Hmm.. how you figure?" he whispers back.
"It has 'Rin' in its name. It's going to be killed by someone close to Komui and then Komui will take revenge on the world for losing his one true love," I say dramatically. "He will start a war and call upon the power of the moon and put the world in a eternal illusion so no one will feel the pain of losing their loved ones. He shall become a tragic hero," I explain.
Russel and a few scientist blink at me. "I think you are getting something wrong here."
I see Lenalee walk in with some coffee with Allen trailing behind her. "Brother, I've brought you coffee," she says.
"Ohh Lenalee," gushes Komui.
"Anyone else want some?" she asks.
"Can I have some!?" I ask excitedly but I stop when I see the robot grab the cute cup with pink bunnies on them.
Robots in this world drink coffee? Robots in this world can blush and drink coffee- Anime logic is really weird.
"Can Robots drink coffee?" asks Allen.
Komui laughs like Allen was naive. "What are you talking about? Though it's part of me, it's still a robot. No robot drinks coffee."
I watch as a the Robot gulps down the coffee. This is probably Russel's bad feeling.
"Ah- it drank it," says Komui surprised.
It suddenly started to spark up its light turning red.
"I am Komurin. I strengthen the exorcists," it says.
"Very good Komurin. You do that!" says Komui looking very startled.
Reever and Komui started to argue as Reever insults his Robot. You go Komui! Stick up for your husbando! I mentally cheer for the overbearing supervisor.
"Definitely love," I confirm to myself.
"Bonnie?" questions Allen in confusion.
The Robot suddenly looks at Lenalee. "This women needs muscle grafting surgery," it says.
We all gasp in shock at such an image.
"You'd turn Lenalee into an bodybuilder?! No I can't stand it!" cries Komui.
"It won't suit her!" I yell at the Robot. "Lenalee is perfect the way she is! Just because you just got into the family doesn't mean you can be the evil step mother and change your sister-inlaw!" I yell.
"Umm... Bonnie I think you're confused about the situation," says Johnny looking baffled. The Robot looks at me.
"You- your hair is a liability- commence hair shaving," it says pulling out a blade.
"HUH?!" was the cries of those around me while I paled.
"I shall change them. Make them stronger and more efficient," it says.
"Lenalee! Lenalee Run!" cries out Komui.
"Get out here Bonnie!" Russel pushes me toward the door.
Before I could take a breath and dash out of here I feel myself being pulled up by the cold steel of the Robot's claw.
"Bonnie!" I hear Allen and Lenalee cry.
"Supervisor do something!" cries out Reever a he takes out a gun aiming at the Robot.
"No- don't shoot! That's my darling Komurin2!" he cries.
"But what about Bonnie?!" points out Allen.
"Well it's not Lenalee. I love Komurin and I love Lenalee! Ahh- don't worry Bonnie your hair will grow back!" I hear Komui assure and I feel nauseous. Thus the KomuiXKomurin ship had sunk.
"Brother!" scolds Lenalee.
"That's just cold supervisor,"
"A girl's hair is sacred."
"I wonder what she'll look like?"
"I think we could order some wigs."
I start to panic as I hear the voices of the scientists. I look to Lenalee pleading. "Lenalee find a nice man and elope! Avenge me!" I cry and I hear Komui weeping out in retribution.
"Sudden Increase in heart rate. I shall administer an anesthesia first to prevent shock," it says and I felt a painful prick on my shoulder.
"Huh?" I felt my vision dimming.
"Bonnie!"
Dammit- if I wake up bald. I'm going to not just Chidori this robot to kingdom come. I'm also going to arrange Lenalee's elopement just to get back at Komui.
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"Allen!"
"Allen!"
I hear voices call out. I found myself waking up my body thrown like a sack of potatoes over Russel's shoulder.
I took a breath...
Electricity crackled around me.
Aim...
BANG!
Komurin head was sliced off.
"Bonnie!" everyone cheers. Lenalee also comes too. "You okay?" she asks and I nod feeling my head making note that the length of hair was not tampered with.
"Where's Allen?" I ask.
We both make our way to Allen who was taken into the Robot. For the first time I'm glad that my aim was crap. Damn- I'm lucky I didn't hit the intended targeted area.
"Allen, are you alright?"
"Is he alright?"
"Somehow," he utters and I take note of the white haired boy covered in bandages with Timcanpy on his head.
"Can you stand?" I ask helping him up.
"I can't believe one of my friends was close to death," says Reever.
"Can I kill Komui?" I ask the scientist looking at the man eagerly with murder in my eyes.
"You shouldn't..." trails of Allen as he tries to pull of the bandages.
I see a group of scientists surround the robot calling out for its end.
"kill it."
"kill it"
"kill it!"
"It wasn't Komurin's fault!" cries Komui protecting that disaster of a robot.
"Ahh... It's love. We shouldn't be angry about love though! A man who loves his robot should not be judged" I began.
"Bonnie," says Komui touched while everyone blinks in surprise.
"I can't forgive the sin committed today though," I say my smile turning quiet vicious. "I almost lost my hair so I'm going to start matchmaking profile for Lenalee."
"Don't you dar-" began Komui but Lenalee pulled me back.
"Lenalee-" Komui sings.
"Brother, I'll give you some reflection time," says Lenalee and kicks both the Robot and Komui.
Lenalee looks at me. "Will you come with me?" she asks and repeats her question with Allen.
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When Allen and I made it to the cafeteria we were greeted with banners with our names .
Welcome Allen Walker and Bonnie Sanders.
I blink- Allen was the main character- I feel like I intruded in this party. I had no business in this world. I look to Allen, his face lit with happiness and I smile too trying not to look ungrateful or sad.
A part of me was happy that they did this and a part of me felt that this moment was suppose to be a big moment for Allen.
"We never welcomed you guys home, did we?" says Reever.
"We've been preparing it in secret." says Jeryy holding a glass up.
"I was trying to keep the two of you busy because you guys would of found out," explains Lenalee. "Here's your mugs." she holds up two mugs and I blink and see my initials with a sun flower drawing at the end as I recalled a moment in our shopping trip I told Lenalee that I loved sunflowers.
"Late though it may be. Welcome home Allen. Welcome home Bonnie," says Reever.
"Welcome home Allen."
"Welcome home Bonnie."
"Thank you all," says Allen happily.
I feel my chest go tight as I stare at the mug... I had my own mug here. I was a part of this... Why was I feeling so emotional so happy and guilty at the same time? I was enjoying being here despite the Akuma. I would see Carol- she was here too. I didn't have the responsibility of dealing with my family anymore.
I tried to lose myself with in the presence of others. I took note of Kanda appearing sitting in the corner like a loner looking content. It surprised me. I thought he would be holed up in his room or on the training room floor.
I snuck alcoholic drinks away from the older scientists trying not to get caught while doing so. The buzz of the alcohol had done to my head allowed me not over think while I excitedly showed off Fort Night dance moves that I had taught Eugene and called them my victory dances.
Clumsily I had showed Johnny the Floss and Electro Swing which I had drunk taught the scientists cause they found it cool. I guess nerds are nerds no matter what the time period.
As the night progressed I had made my way back to my room feeling exhausted. The alcohol already leaving my system parting the residual dull headache one would get from alcohol.
I swayed side to side feeling lightheaded. "You okay?" asks a voice which grips my shoulder before I walked into a wall. I blink at the wall then to the owner of the voice.
Allen.
He eyes me concerned.
"I had too much to drink," I admit feeling embarrassed. I felt like some first year college student at their first frat party.
"You're not supposed to be drinking," he scolds. I remember that I'm deaged again. I wonder what age is considered legal in this time period. He grips my arm and pulls it over his shoulder.
"You seem experienced with this sort of thing, Allen," I say casually.
"I've been to taverns with my Master. I've seen people overindulge," he recalls and I could feel him inwardly shivering over whatever memory of Cross Marian. I don't ask and we are engulfed in silence again.
"I'm sorry, I must be a bother," I say after a few minutes of hesitant steps.
"You're not... but I do not like the drinking. It's bad for your health and you're a girl. You should take better care of yourself," he admonishes.
I look away. I did go overboard. If I went out drinking- I did so with Carol. We trusted each other and we were careful. I just did something irresponsible and glad I didn't end up throwing up.
The memory of Carol stung again. Is she going to meet me? Is she really in this world? Where was she?
"Allen... What do you think of everyone here?" I ask.
He looks at me while I avoid eye contact.
"I like everyone here. They are welcoming... It's nice to have a place to call home," he admits. "Do you not like it?" I could hear the worry in his voice.
He stumbled a bit as I let my weight rest of him. "No, I like it... I just-" I wondered how honest I can be with him. Can I tell him? Will he judge me?
"Just?" he pressed.
"I have a family and a home somewhere... I have a mom, a dad and a little brother... I had a dad," I rectified my thoughts halting my memories.
"Did he pass away?" asks Allen looking sympathetically.
"No- it's not like that... I have a home but it was never welcoming... Growing up with my father hitting my mother around- he wouldn't touch my brother and I- I can be grateful for that. So as long as I intervened I would save her... Eventually he left us one day- I was happy because my mother could now live without fear. She didn't have to cry anymore. I thought we could put everything behind us," my voice was light as I had been at the possibility of starting anew.
"She got worst though... She was depressed and I understood it was caused by my father... I would try to help and my brother would be indifferent to it. It was so frustrating... I wanted him to help out too but being indifferent was his way of coping. I would get mad and yell at him. I'd say some hurtful things... My mother said I sounded like him... my father. I got angrier," I say remembering the indignation of it. After all I did. I use to jump in between the fights. I would be the one who would risk myself for her. Yet she chose to stay close to my brother. I remember saying things just to hurt them as much as they hurt me when they compared me to him. It was a toxic environment. We were toxic to each other.
"I felt I was fighting the two of them. I was the wrong one... No matter what I did it was never good enough. She tried to commit suicide once... I just... well I didn't know how to deal with it but I tried my best and even then that wasn't good enough and there was no support from my brother then too..." I glance at Allen face finally. He looked sad and for some reason I felt comforted by it.
"I feel guilty to feel happy here... I've had so much fun. Meeting you, Lenalee, Komui and everyone at the Order. It's just... Am I a terrible person to feel relief? To be rid of them," I say my voice was thick with emotion as I held back tears.
Allen said nothing for long time and I wondered if I had made the right choice to off load my baggage on him. I mean he is the main character carrying the series. I'm sure he had enough weight on him already. We had stopped walking and my gaze was fixed on my shoes.
"I've never really had a family... I was abandoned by my parents because of this arm..." he trails off shifting his parasitic innocence arm. "So I can't really understand your situation." I look away feeling disappointed.
"I can understand that you felt abandoned though," he says and I turn toward him in surprise as he offers me a reassuring smile. "I know what's it's like to feel abandoned. I'm sure that's how you felt when your dad left, when your brother looks away and when your mother ignored your own struggles. You wanted to be in a home but you felt unwelcomed... It's okay for you to be happy here because everyone wants you to be..." he trails. He looks at me a soft smile and his eyes filled with such emotion.
"I'm so happy to that you're here Bonnie," he says and I felt a dam broke in me as tears flooded my vision. Embarrassed I curl up squatting on the floor head pressed on my knees and arm curled around myself.
"Bonnie!" he panics completely taken aback and arms failing around in true anime-like stress. "Did I-"
"No, I'm happy! It's just you made me cry and I look ugly when I cry," I sniff feeling my nose get stuffy. I think I needed a really good cry. I didn't know I was holding so much back.
I could almost hear Carol call me a 'cry baby.'
Chapter end
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