Alex honestly felt exhausted.

Today had been one long list of errands. After speaking with the crew at large, then the individuals who needed consultation, she'd been shuffled into the infirmary. It had taken Dryl over an hour to undo whatever damage she'd done during the fight. An hour of sparking pain and swearing.

She'd then had to check on Lincoln, who was doing much better, and M'gann, who was not. This had led to a conversation with Winn about getting her old iPhone, the one she'd carried with her the entire journey through space, back onto a phone plan. She needed to be able to contact people who weren't the crew, and their communicators were on a locked circuit. She'd then enlisted his help finding the missing loved ones for those who'd struggled the night before. Le'ra's sister, for example, had moved downtown.

Then she'd had to make the single most awkward phone call in her life. Lena Luthor's secretary was a stone wall, and flat out refused to pass along any information. Which, Alex supposed, made sense. Why would you give your very wealthy and very important boss a proposal from a stranger off the street? Alex could acknowledge it sounded insane – "I'd like to ask for $45.6 million dollars in return for an idea. Yes, I'll hold." Hence, the stonewalling. All the way up until she dropped her full name. Apparently, being a Danvers' carried some weight with the younger Luthor. She smirked for the rest of the phone call.

But now meetings were set up, her crew were sorting their own shit, she had the basic necessities for moving forward. Now, she was swinging by Kara's to check in before she went over to her old place. The thought made her stomach squirm.

She shouldered her way into Kara's apartment and felt her eyes bug.

The kitchen was a bomb sight. Ky was actively cackling, laughing so hard she was bent over, resting her hand on the batter covered island to prevent falling over. Kara, meanwhile, looked frazzled. Perfect blonde hair frizzing at the edges, apron absolutely saturated in pale, thick liquid. But she was smiling, even as she dumped their fourth attempt at sticky buns into the trash.

"Stop laughing!" She demanded, even as her smile grew. "It's hard!" When this yielded no result, she spun around to seek help from her sister. "Alex! Tell your child to be nice!"

"Ah, what exactly is hard?" She didn't even know what she was looking at. She hadn't even closed the door she was so shocked at the state of the kitchen. She'd only been gone a couple of cycles for Rao's sake.

"Baking!"

"You tried to bake?" Alex raised a skeptical eyebrow, finally swinging the door shut behind her. Ky was dissolving into giggles now, sinking down into a crouch to try and contain it all. Gert took this opportunity to come over and lick her sticky fingers, setting Ky off all over again. The whole scene made Alex's heart burst.

"Maggie makes it look so easy!" She honest to god stomped her foot, trying to notch down her smile. It didn't work.

"Maggie isn't a kitchen hazard," Alex corrected, coming over to the counter and touching a finger to the sludge on its top. "What were you thinking, exactly?"

"Ky said she'd never tried sticky buns, Alex! It's a travesty of intergalactic proportions."

Ky was finally winding down, still crouched. She pushed away her friend and stood up on wobbly legs. "She didn't know whether she was allowed to take me out, so she figured she'd make em herself."

"Okay," Alex drawled, smiling between the pair. "For future reference, yes, you can take Ky outside Kar."

"How was I supposed to know!?" she threw hands, slapping them on the counter for good measure. "Every time I've seen her outside, she's gotten hurt!"

Which, fair point. She squinted at her daughter. "She isn't wrong."

"It's not my fault I'm a Danvers," Ky responded, smirking at her mom, knowing the sentence would make her much more amicable. She gestured between the three of them. "Aren't we all magnets for trouble, or whatever?"

Alex and Kara shared a look, both trying (and failing) to push down smiles. Finally, Kara relented – "The Danvers' family," she looked back at her niece, heart glowing at the newest member. "We should come with a warning."

Maggie was working very hard not to stress.

She'd texted earlier in the day to say Alex was on board with coming over for dinner. That had tanked Maggie's productivity completely – which is saying something, because her mind was already in two places. Trying to work when Alex was just down the road… not particularly effective.

Her Captain sent her home early.

Which, yes, was a nice thing to do. Probably a smart thing to do. But also, horrible, because she was left to stew. Alone. For three hours. Lucy coming home barely took the edge off.

"Mags," Lucy snagged her wrist as she made to pass the couch a fifth time. "It's going to be fine." She tugged until she dropped onto the cushions, but that did not stop her anxious fiddling.

"What if-"

"No."

"But-"

"Nope."

"Lane-"

"Sawyer," Lucy grinned, finally stalling the panic spreading through Maggie like a virus. The Detective felt herself relax, just an inch, into the cushions. Shoulder dropped, heart slowing.

"You're impossible," Maggie huffed, leaning into her side.

"That's why you love me."

Someone knocked on the door.

Pausing, just long enough for Maggie to nod, Lucy released her and answered. Alex.

Any other situation, Lucy would have laughed at how nervous she looked standing at the door to her own apartment. She'd tucked her hands into her sleeves, already gnawing at her lip. But the smile she offered, as awkward as it was, still made Lucy stomach swoop.

"Glad you could make it," Lucy offered, stepping aside so Alex could slip in. She withheld a reaction when the other woman brushed past her – even a year later, the smallest touch made her ache.

"Wouldn't miss it," she responded, now standing just in the threshold.

Lucy closed the door and leaned back against it for a minute, just watching. Alex eyes were scanning the room, taking in the subtle changes. The missing photo of her father; the row of murder mysteries; the strings of fairy lights Kara them for Christmas (so they'd always have light in their life). The evidence of her missing time.

"Hey, Danvers," Maggie ventured, finally interrupting, taking a step into touching distance.

"Hey, Mags," Lucy felt her own hands twitch when Alex reached out reverently, brushing her fingers against Maggie's cheek.

"Do you want something to drink?" She needed to use her hands, needed to do something other than focus on the collective longing in the room. There was a reason they were here, and it wasn't to just bask in their affection for one and other.

"Ah," Alex turned to look at her, blinking. As if waking from a dream. "Sure. Something non-alcoholic?"

Which, odd. Lucy itched for something to take the edge off, an urge Alex normally shared (and then some). But Alex seems to be the Queen of Adult Decision Making at the moment, so Lucy followed the example and pulled out three bottles of water.

Hesitating for a moment, Alex took the only single seat in the place, turning her body automatically to follow Lucy and Maggie as they took the seats across from her. She accepted the bottle held out to her, immediately picking at the edge of the label. It was reassuring to Lucy that some things don't change.

"So," Lucy settled as Alex spoke. Maggie leaned back so she could comfortably slip a hand under the hem of Lucy's shirt, fingers stroking along the skin. "Did you guys… have any questions? Before we-" Alex kind of waved her hand around between them, indicating the conversation they were here to have.

"A couple," Lucy admitted, grateful for Maggie's contact. She was usually the less tactile one, but right now she needed the grounding. The reminder that someone had her back.

"Shoot," a small smile, just enough to make everyone settle.

Might as well dive in. "We won't be upset, whatever your answer. It's been four years," Maggie started, instantly straightening Alex's shoulders. "But, have you been with anyone else? While you were gone."

Alex huffed a single, almost harsh laugh. Her eyes dragged back to the bottle label. She hadn't even opened it.

"I tried," she admitted, the Crinkle™ forming as she turned the water around in her hands. "About a year ago? I'd just been-" she shook her head, closing her eyes for a moment. "It doesn't matter. But no, it didn't even really start. It couldn't." she smiled self-deprecatingly.

"It couldn't?" Lucy encouraged.

Alex bit the side of her cheek, trying to think through some kind of adequate articulation. "It was this friend of mine. She's… lovely and smart and kind and there was absolutely no reason why I shouldn't want to be with her," the couple tensed, breath catching. "But she wasn't you two."

Maggie didn't expect her heart to hurt for Alex at that sentiment. She thought she'd feel… happy? A little relieved? But, weirdly, she felt sad. Her heart broke a little for Alex, the woman she loved, who had been trapped in space for four years and had spent that entire time alone.

Lucy's voice softened. "How far did it go?"

Alex's jaw tensed, just a notch, before relaxing. "She kissed me," she pressed her thumb into the plastic, the sound of it crackling breaking through her own tension. "And I told her my heart was on Earth," she released the straining plastic, taking a breath. "She understood, and we're still close – as I said, she's great."

They sat in silence for a long moment, until Alex finally blinked up at them. "What about you two?"

Lucy frowned, looking at Maggie. "What about us?"

"Have you guys been with anyone else? While I was gone."

"No," Lucy carefully articulated, watching how Alex relaxed, just around the edges. "I can't speak for Maggie, but you were it for me as well."

Maggie leaned forward, reaching out and touching the edge of her knee. Voice soft, eyes softer. "Danvers, it's always been you."

Alex offered a smile back but didn't reach back.

"You said you wanted us to go away and think about everything," Maggie started, drawing everyone's attention back to her. Lucy's hand reached over to Maggie thigh, lending some strength. "Were you just talking about Ky?"

Because the time, the distance, that didn't matter to them. A year had done nothing to dent their affection for Alex Danvers. A lifetime would do nothing to dent their love.

Alex lost eye contact again, jaw working. Her leg started to bounce, just a little. "Mostly," she inhaled and exhaled, slow, steady. Regaining her footing before jumping. Alex looked up at them. "She's my main concern. I won't let her be hurt, not if I can avoid it. So, anything that happens between us, that has to be second to her. Always."

Maggie was nodding – they'd assumed as much. She wouldn't be their Alex if she was willing to risk a daughter's pain for a relationship. Any relationship. But Lucy was caught on something else.

"Mostly?"

Alex glanced between them, leg picking up a little speed. She put the bottle on the table, flexing her hands. "A lot has changed. I've… I've changed," she grimaced, rotating her left wrist. "Four years is a long time. Especially in space."

Silence.

It was loaded, Lucy's fingers dug into Maggie's jeans, so she tangled their fingers together. Squeezing once, reassuring.

"I've done a lot of… terrible things to survive," she lost eye contact again, eye fixing just behind them, out the window. Taking in the night sky above. "Monstrous things."

Lucy glanced at Maggie, but her eyes were locked on Alex. Locked on the obvious torment.

"Alex, anything you've done…" she trailed off, unsure how to continue without facts that Alex was in no state to provide. "You're still you. We can see that."

A harsh, wet laugh escaped her. She dragged a hand along her face, then through her hair. Harsh. Angry. Hurting.

"I've hurt people," she forced out, voice rough. She leaned her elbows on her knees, hunching forward. "Killed. And not like for the DEO," she scratched at a scarred eyebrow with her good hand. "Raiders, slavers, other prisoners," her jaw clenched so hard it hurt. "Innocent people. I… I lost count."

"Did you want to?" Lucy's voice was soft, but direct, cutting through the building anguish.

"What?" Alex's head snapped up, horrified eyes locking with the Directors. "Of course not."

"Then we will work through it."

"Luce-"

"No," Maggie was suddenly brought back to the beginning of this evening – Lucy just cutting through the bullshit. "You were scared and alone and in pain and you had to do whatever you did to survive, Alex."

"Isn't that how monsters are made?"

Maggie felt her breath freeze in her throat. Her thoughts stumbled to a stop. Her heart ached. Lucy's grip became iron.

"No," Lucy finally breathed back. And then she was up, releasing Maggie's hand, so she could kneel directly in Alex's space, between her legs. She was forced to lean back, sliding up so her wrists were on her knees and her eyes were locked with Lucy's. "No Alex," she reached up, palming the women's cheek.

Maggie had the sudden, intense feeling, that this was the beginning of the rest of their lives.

"You are strong and brave and beautiful," each word was spoken with a conviction that etched itself into your heart. "And you came home to us." Tears were in both of their eyes, compelling Maggie to getting off the couch, crouching next to her partners. "And we love you."

Which… was not what this conversation was supposed to be. They were supposed to be talking about dating again. Take the time to figure out how their lives could interconnect, whether they could fold back together. But that was a naive plan – as if there was a universe where they walked away from this woman. This woman who traveled across the universe to get back to them.

"She's right, Danvers," Maggie added, watching how Alex's eyes shifted to lock on her. Feeling Lucy's free hand on the inside of her knee. "We've loved you since before you were taken, and every day since. There isn't any getting rid of us."

Alex's mind argued. Contradicted. Played a slideshow of the horrible, terrible, tragic, monstrous things she'd done. But the warmth of Lucy's hand, and the intensity of Maggie's eyes drowned all that out. All she could see, all she could feel, were these women. These women she'd given her heart to, and she was never going to ask for it back.

Smiling, softly, happily Alex looked between them and whispered the words that had echoed in her heart for four years. "I love you too."