A/N: Hello everyone :-) Hope I didn't keep you all waiting too long for this one

Still ten minutes out the team pushed their cars to their physical limits. DiNozzo swore he would never need to watch another 'Fast and Furious' film ever again but other than that he was silent, as was Ziva. All they could think about was getting their friend back but nobody could even guess what was going through Gibbs' head. Questions like 'is he dead' and 'will he be tortured' appeared frequently. Part of Gibbs hoped that the agent was being tortured just so it would give them more time for the rescue.

But back at the barn McGee was still alive arguing Gibbs' corner, not his own. "What about the people who put this in their pasts?"

"Makes no difference. At some point they self harmed and now they pay for that weakness."

"But what if it is no longer a weakness of theirs? The people who get over this are stronger than you can ever know"

"Old habits die hard, especially for people in your profession."

"Who was it for you then?"

"I don't understand your question."

"Who did you grow up with that self harmed? A brother, sister, parent, aunt, carer. I could guess forever."

"I had no siblings. I had no mother around whilst I was growing up. It was just me and my dad from start till end. But he self harmed everyday and was extremely depressed. One day I came home from doing the shopping to find a suicide note and my dad lying on the kitchen floor in a pool of blood. He cut his wrists so deep you could see bone on both arms. He was weak and pathetic for giving up on his recovery. He once went a week without it but he gave up and so will you. The other thing I know is that Gibbs will never get over his self harm and when everyone knows about it he will retreat back to his old self fully."

"So you're not just going to kill him?"

"No, I intend to prove myself right. You people will always return to your old ways"

"Not always"

"When put under enough pressure you do. I have done this enough times to know exactly when you people are going to break."

"Everyone has their ways of coping, this killing is probably yours"

"But mine isn't a weakness, it is a strength"

"Others see it differently"

"I don't care, I will eliminate you people from the planet one by one. However, Gibbs' death is one I shall take great pleasure in. He and my father had a run in on a case a while back. Your boss threatened to get the courts to take me away from my dad if he didn't give up the information he wanted. That is when my dad slipped away from me for good, there was no recovering after that"

"But you weren't taken away in the end were you?"

"No, but the stress was enough to push him over the edge"

"So that was when he committed suicide?"

"Yeah, none of this matters now anyway. You are going to be dead and I will be the one to kill you." He then proceeded to tease McGee about all of the other ways he could kill him and the ways he has killed several of his other victims. He apparently saved the NCIS agents he knew of until last for his 'grand finale' before disappearing. This whole charade took about ten minutes which was all the time the team needed. Unknown to the killer his place was surrounded by an alphabet soup of law enforcement agencies. Sadly it seems that they had all lost people to this lunatic. Gibbs and Fornell approached the main entrance whilst DiNozzo and Ziva took the side. All of this physco's weapons were on display for everyone to see. There were about twenty knifes and fifteen guns just sat there waiting to be used. The team had the element of surprise in their arsenal along with posh mini cameras sat on their shoulders. They fed straight into MTAC where Abby, Ducky, Jimmy and director Vance nervously awaited the outcome of the raid. Gibbs announced their entry "federal agents, put the weapon down." He could see where McGee had been teased with a blade from fresh wounds.

"Agent Gibbs, how did you find me? I'm not ready for you yet."

"I'm gonna say it one more time Elliot, put the weapon down." Fortunately his weapon of choice for McGee was an already bloody knife so there was no immediate danger of the team being shot. "You and agent McGee are destined to die by my hand."

"No. But if you don't put that knife down I will shoot you"

"You're different to how I remember you, sadder. What if you miss the shot?"

"I won't" replied an extremely angry Gibbs. Elliot then raised the knife to slit McGees throat but Gibbs immediately took the shot. Not to the head or heart, no fatal wounds. A shot to the foot had him hopping around like a kangaroo until he was cuffed. "What happened to you in those homes after your dad died Elliot?" Asked an ever curious Gibbs who wanted to see what could possibly have turned such an innocent, sweet boy into a killing machine. "Stuff you will never know you bastard!" Elliot shouted from the top of his lungs as Fornell dragged him away.

They all then raced towards McGee and the paramedics were called in. Gibbs cut the rope that had bound McGees hands to the roof for the past few hours. As the young agents feet touched the ground they collapsed only to be caught by Tony and Ziva. Elliot chose the blade for McGees fate so he forced him to wear a vest top and shorts which were very similar to the ones the agent wore at home. This not only showed where Elliot's blade had been dragged across his skin but all of his scars and self inflicted cuts. Not knowing what their friend had been through Tony and Ziva gave each other the 'ask later' look. None of the cuts made by Elliot required stitches but they did need a good clean which was done on site. The paramedics asked for a word with Gibbs but McGee knew what they were talking about. Gibbs just dismissed them as he knew about the entire situation and hopefully he was keeping it under a certain amount of control.

Elliot, Fornell, Ziva and Tony made their way back to NCIS for a late night whilst Gibbs drove McGee back to his apartment. Unbelievably, McGee got changed into a fresh set of clothes and asked Gibbs to drive him back to HQ to which Gibbs obviously refused, at first. "Go to bed, get some sleep"

"Do you really expect me to sleep here, tonight? After everything that has happened."

"Stop at my house then"

"You leave it unlocked day and night, that isn't going to make me feel safe. Let me come to work, I will stop in Abby's lab and I won't work the case unless you want me to."

"McGee, you're one of my agents, I know you will try and work the case. Now we have caught him all we have to do is establish that he was working alone, question him and finish the paperwork."

"And all of the evidence gathered should prove that he works alone?" Asked a curious Probie.

"Yes" Gibbs thought very carefully before reminding Tim about what the team saw. "Tony and Ziva have seen all of the scars." McGee stopped in his tracks and thought back to the clothes he was forced to wear. "They didn't say anything"

"They will, to me."

"Boss, you have got to let me come into work and try to explain myself."

"You don't have to do that Tim"

"I want to, they deserve an explanation after all of that. I also want to tell Abby before everyone else does and before the rumours spread"

"Did nobody tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"The cameras were streaming a video into MTAC where everyone was watching"

"When you say everyone…"

"I mean Palmer, Ducky, the director and Abby as well as various people other agencies that couldn't join in on the raid themselves "

"But boss, you knew about the scars and you allowed it to happen?"

"I had no choice Tim, directors from three agencies requested it as well as SecNav"

"How am I supposed even leave the house Gibbs? You have known for a day and look what has happened."

"When you next walk out of that door you will hold your head up high because you have done nothing wrong"

"But everyone knows! I didn't even get to tell them myself Gibbs, this isn't fair"

"Life isn't fair McGee, get used to it. You can go to work everyday feeling ashamed if you really want to but you have done nothing wrong"

"I don't think I will be able to cope with it boss"

"Yes you can. Stop doubting yourself"

"Will everyone know what Elliot meant when he said that he wasn't ready for you"

"I don't know Tim but our lives can't stop because of him and our scars. We made them so we carry on without making a fuss about how we feel, don't let them stop you now."

"But…"

"No but's Tim. Have you got a change of clothes?"

"In my bag, why?"

"Cmon then" Gibbs gave in but only because he knew McGee wasn't going to feel safe in his own place and obviously Gibbs' house had no locks on. Who wouldn't feel safe in a securely guarded naval base?

After a steady ten minute drive Gibbs and McGee made their way towards the NCIS building only to be stopped by McGees hesitation. "Boss"

"What's wrong Tim?"

"I don't think I can do it."

"Of course you can, you're nearly there already. The door is three metres away."

"What if I get bombarded with questions and I can't cope? What if people hate me for it and try to get rid of me? What if I lose people close to me?"

"None of that is going to happen, come inside and see. There's not even that many people here considering it is midnight."

"You sure boss?" Asked McGee but he received no answer as Gibbs just continued to walk. McGee followed as he didn't want to be left alone after the days recent traumatic events. They both got in the elevator and stood silently, side by side until they reached the bull pen. They both headed for their desks but were stopped by the director. Ziva and Tony were already there awaiting their instructions from Gibbs so they were confused when the director stopped them. "McGee" Leon spoke calmly "you are not cleared to be here. To go back to work you need to pass your fitness for work eval, you know this." He then turned to Gibbs "you know this too Special Agent Gibbs so don't even think about trying to get around it." In response to this Gibbs half smiled, whispered something to McGee and began working his charm on the director. This allowed McGee to slip past to go down to Abby's lab. Gibbs said in the car journey that he would be there when McGee was going to speak to Abby but this meant that he couldn't. He knew that delaying it any longer would be pointless, especially if the director forces him to leave the building so 'here goes nothing' he thought.

"Hey Abbs"

"Oh McGee" she sighed in a relieved voice as she ran to hug him.

"I like your new boots" said Tim in a weak attempt to distract Abby.

"Thanks I got them from… wait a second. Don't even think about it. I have questions that need answers Tim."

"I know you do" McGee looked down in shame knowing full well what questions were coming.

"I'm not gonna force them outta you Timmy, it would be nice to know though." Abby thought that this might reassure her friend so he would hold his head high again but she was wrong so she continued so it would be over quicker for Tim. "How long have you been doing it?"

"Since I was a young teenager"

"How often?"

"Everyday"

"Why"

"Relief"

"And why didn't you tell me? I'm not just talking about recently either, what about when we were together?"

"I didn't want to burden anyone else"

"Now do you know that it wouldn't have been a burden?"

"Yeah, but it's a bit late"

"But not too late Timmy" Abby then hugged him again but tighter until she realised that he needed to breathe. Tim smiled at the realisation of how much Abby cares and Abby smiled back. Gibbs then arrived spoiling the moment with bad but inevitable news. "The director won't allow you to even stick to desk work until your evaluation but you are allowed to stay in the navy yard. He even offered the sofa in his office for you to sleep on if it makes you feel safer."

"See McGee, everyone cares" said Abby grinning from ear to ear looking at her best friend the way she used to. That very same look people give each other in a loving relationship but Abby kept them thoughts to herself. She always has and always will. Tim obviously thought nothing of it as her still only sees her as a friend. "We are a family and we are all here for each other, they will all understand"

"I can't see them doing that Abby. Me and Palmer have been pretty tight recently so this could just ruin everything, Ziva will probably say how pathetic it is and Tony will just mock me every step of the way. It's pointless confronting them."

"If you think that Tim you really don't know them" interrupted Gibbs.

"Boss, everyone knows now. I can't deal with it."

"McGee, look at me" the young agent turned to face his boss. "You're not the first person to do this and you definitely won't be the last. You come and see me about anyone you are having issues with but most of the people who watched won't even consider spreading details of this"

"The key word there is 'most'. What about the ones who will?"

"McGee, it is going to be fine. The storyline of us finally catching that bastard will overshadow your self harm"

"I hope you're right boss."

"C'mon Timmy, when is Gibbs ever wrong?" Butted in Abby.

It was then that Tim decided to speak to Palmer first. For some reason he seemed more approachable than a Mossad ninja. Abby then hugged McGee and let them both leave. In the elevator McGee asked Gibbs a question and in response he flipped the elevator switch. "What does the director think of me boss?"

"Snap out of it McGee" replied Gibbs who promptly slapped him on the back of the head. "Stop caring about what people think, there is nothing you can do about this now but you can stop worrying about how other people see you. As a person nothing has changed about you so why should their thoughts be any different?"

"But boss…"

"Do I need to make it a rule?"

"No boss." The elevator was then switched back on to go down to autopsy. Obviously the journey was a short one so he didn't have much time to consider what he was going to say.

"I'm taking Ducky out for coffee so take your time talking to Palmer"

"Thanks boss, you've been a brilliant help." To this Gibbs just nodded and smiled that half smile he does when things come together. Ducky was waiting for Gibbs outside the elevator with his hat, coat and umbrella whilst Palmer was pacing autopsy. He was obviously worried about the conversation too.

"Hey Jimmy, how ya doin?"

"I'm doing good Tim, what about you?" Asked Palmer who stopped in his tracks after seeing his friend at the door.

"I'm doing okay, sort of" McGee smiled half heartedly at his friend.

"You know Tim, I'm a good listener despite how much I talk and I also never tell secrets."

"I know you are. This was just something I wasn't ready to share with everyone but there is nothing I can do about it now."

"I can understand that. You know if you didn't want to see Ducky for any reason and you needed medical assistance then you can call me."

"Thank you Jimmy. Is this gonna affect us as friends at all?"

"Of course not Tim, you should know me better than that by now. I can see that you don't really want to be doing this right now though."

"It's only because I wanted to tell you all when I was ready but some psychopathic serial killer forced my hand"

"It's tough but you'll get through it because you have a brilliant family here. Me, Tony, Ziva, Gibbs, Dr Mallard and even the director, none of us want to see you go through this on your own."

"Thank you Jimmy, this means a lot to me"

"No problem, don't be a stranger about this to me Tim, I'm your friend not an enemy." With that Tim left autopsy and made his way through the bull pen to the other elevator that would take him outside. Tony and Ziva appeared to have vanished off the face of the earth as they were nowhere to be seen so Tim decided to go and get some coffee, he definitely needed it if he was going to speak to his co-workers. On his way out Tim bumped into the director who reminded him of the fitness for work eval that needed to be on his desk sooner rather than later but no matter how much he wanted it he couldn't see a psychologist tonight. They definitely wouldn't sign off on it as he would look too desperate plus, he needed his sleep if he was to get back to work anytime soon.

By the time McGee returned with his coffee Gibbs had apparently sent Tony and Ziva home. For a moment he thought 'time to go home' then he remembered just what had happened today so he headed to Abby's lab instead. The gothic scientist was just leaving and gave her friend a goodbye hug. As he entered the room he noticed an orange sleeping bag set on the floor with Bert the hippo and just thought about how good his friends really are.

A/N: So I hope you all enjoyed reading it, quite a long chapter in comparison to my last one. Don't forget to tell me your opinions in the reviews, all constructive criticism is appreciated. :-) :-)