"I'm so glad you made time to...uhm, attend my album release party, Sasuke."
There was a moment of surprise and hesitation as she uttered her welcoming words to him. She gave him a small smile despite the stinging sensation in her chest at the mere sight of him tonight. It's been seven months after all.
"Hn. Thanks for inviting me. And congrats on the new album." He remained standing by the door with his professional smile.
The pang in Sakura's chest deepened because she felt like she didn't deserve to see his smile. She stepped away for him to come in. People were busy eating and dancing in the hall so she had no choice but to accompany her new guest. "Uhm...dinner is already served, do you want to eat now?"
"Ah, maybe later. I just ate dinner before I went here."
"Oh, okay. We'll start streaming the album by midnight so I hope you'll be comfortable until then."
"Sure." He was still smiling, although his smile didn't reach his eyes. Sakura couldn't help but feel like questioning him, how could you still smile at me despite what I've done?
She bit her lip before attempting to extend their conversation. "How have you been?"
For a moment, Sasuke's smile faltered, and then as quickly as it did, it returned. "Good. So many projects are coming my way so I've been very busy."
"That's great. Congratulations on your new movie, by the way. I've seen the teaser last week."
Sasuke scratched the back of his head, his smile widening. "Thanks. I've missed doing an action movie. It's been tough shooting that one in the middle of summer though."
"The heat must've been a nuisance."
"Aa. Nuisance indeed." He chuckled then, causing Sakura's heart to clench.
She missed seeing him laugh that it felt like she won the lottery for witnessing it again, even for a short while. She blinked a few times to avoid tearing up while tucking a few strands of her hair behind her ear. "How's your...family? I haven't seen them in a while." Of course, whose fault was it?
Sasuke paused, his smile now tight-lipped. Then he answered, "They've been well. Enjoying retirement."
And that was it. Usually, whenever he was asked about his family, Sasuke would be talking so much like the proud Uchiha he was, but Sakura knew his guard was up this time.
She couldn't blame him for that.
After that night – of roses and candles, rejections and goodbyes – she had already taken away her right to be a part of his life.
Sakura looked down, her gaze falling on her maroon stilettos. She didn't know what else to say, because every time she looked at his eyes, that night haunted her and reminded her of her cowardice and regrets.
She badly wanted to tell him something – anything – that would at least make his smile reach his eyes again. But she felt like anything she would say would hurt him even more. She swallowed hard before looking up, finding him standing still while glancing at the surroundings.
Sasuke loved being around people, but this time, he seemed reserved, as if he didn't really want to be there.
"I'm really glad you're here, Sasuke. I...I didn't even think you'd receive my invitation."
Sasuke looked at her, smirking, but with his eyes blank. "Of course. If you're thinking I blocked you, I didn't. We're still friends, right?"
Friends. That didn't end up hurting him, instead, it hurt her. She shouldn't have talked again.
"Y-yeah." She looked down once more.
"Five minutes before we start streaming! Are you guys ready?" The host suddenly announced, catching their attention.
"I guess you're needed there, I'll just stay here and watch," Sasuke said.
Unable to say anything, Sakura just nodded before going in front, passing by some of her guests who hopefully didn't notice how sullen she looked.
She reached the side of the small stage then. The host gave her a cue before calling her onstage for her short talk. Her guests of around fifty people clapped their hands at the mention of her name.
As if on cue, Sakura put up her professional smile and stepped on the stage to introduce her new album. "Good evening, everyone! Thank you so much for joining me on this very special night! Writing this album has been a wild ride, and...I've learned so many things along the way." She gripped the microphone tightly, swallowing hard. "I hope that these 12 new songs would touch your heart and inspire you in one way or another to finally, boldly, express whatever is in your heart whenever you need to do so."
Another round of applause was heard in the room and Sakura found herself looking at Sasuke who now had a glass of wine in his hand. Their gazes met in an instant, making Sakura review what she had just said and realizing that it was some sort of a note to herself.
After all, this album was written after the night she left him in a restaurant with pain written all over his face.
"T-thanks, everyone." Sakura passed the mic to the host again before leaving the stage.
The lights dimmed, and the intro of her first song's lyric video appeared on the big screen in front of them.
Sakura smiled this time, trying to forget the presence of Sasuke in the room filled with her family and friends who were rejoicing for her success.
Listening to her voice on her first two tracks – Enchanted and Speak Now – made Sakura at ease while she watched the lyric videos. But when the intro of the third song was played, her heart skipped a beat.
This third song was where she poured out everything that she has been feeling about Sasuke. She braced herself while the song continued to play.
These days I haven't been sleeping
Staying up playing back myself leaving
When your birthday passed and I didn't call
And I think about summer, all the beautiful times
I watched you laughing from the passenger side
And realized I'd loved you in the fall
With her heart beating fast, Sakura spared a glance at Sasuke at the back of the room. She found him frozen in place, with his eyes fixed on the screen and his lips slightly parted. Her eyes began brimming with tears while she looked away.
And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye
Sakura couldn't help but feel the guilt all over again. She remembered vividly how Sasuke looked back at her with confusion when she told him it wasn't going to work out. She remembered clearly how his eyes widened with a glint of pain when she told him she couldn't love him in the same way. She remembered exactly how he held her wrist as if she was the only thing he had been holding on to when she was about to stand and leave him alongside the roses he had given her.
It was December 9 all over again and when Sakura caught a glimpse of Sasuke exiting the hall, she immediately stood up and followed him outside as she tried to pull herself together.
"Sasuke!"
Her voice made him stop in his tracks, but he didn't turn towards her. "Did you intentionally hurt me so you could write a hit single?"
"N-no! Sasuke, I'm…" Tears streamed down her face as she thought about everything she wanted to say. Seven months of hiding everything made her feel like she was a dam opening all of a sudden. But she started with: "I'm sorry. S-sasuke, I'm so sorry."
His silence was her cue to continue speaking.
"I've been a coward, Sasuke. I was so afraid that it wouldn't work out for us because of our busy lives. I was so afraid of you finding somebody else because, well, there's just so many women in the industry who are much better than me. Sasuke, I was so afraid that...that one day, you'd leave me too, just like everyone else. But...but Sasuke, when I told you there's no hope for us, that's when I actually lost hope. Every single day, I missed you. I missed everything about you." Sakura took a step forward, wanting to embrace him from behind. "I was wrong to let you go, Sasuke. I know that now."
For a moment, Sakura thought Sasuke would end up leaving, but when he turned to finally face her, she cried all the more. She had never seen Sasuke in tears before, but to see that now, knowing that it was because of her, doubled the pain in her heart.
"Sasuke…" she said in between hiccups. "If we love again, I swear I'd love you right. You could call me "kitten" as much as you want, we could roll down the windows of your car and play loud music whenever you want, you could keep on buying me roses as long as you want. Just...just please...love me again, Sasuke," Sakura pressed her hands on her chest and squeezed her eyes shut, afraid to see how he would reject her in the same way she did to him. "But if you won't accept me anymore, I'd underst—"
She was abruptly cut off by his arms suddenly wrapping around her small frame. She gasped when he tightened his embrace.
And then he said, "Idiot. How could I love you again if I never stopped loving you?"
Sakura felt as if she was about to melt when she heard his words. "Y-you still…"
"Love you, yes."
When Sakura pulled away and gazed at him with widened eyes, she was surprised to see his genuine smile. He wiped his tears with the back of his hand and proceeded to wipe hers with his thumb. Sakura remained frozen in disbelief.
Until he spoke again, his smile never leaving his face, "Hearing your song and your words was like having that fulfillment in putting a puzzle piece in its right place, Sak. That's all I needed to hear."
"But I hurt you."
"And I forgive you. My love for you is beyond every fear you've had and you will have, Sak. I'm willing to start over with you, if that's what you still want."
Sakura felt like a thorn was taken out of her heart upon hearing his words. Her lips curved upwards as she buried her face in his chest. "I love you. I love you so much, Sasuke. And yes, I definitely want that."
So Sasuke enveloped her in his embrace for the second time that night.
o - o - o
November 2020 © AriannJS