Chapter 13

Bewilderment weighed on the ladies' mindset. Victoria tried to answer Annie's questions. She attempted to allay Jennifer's concerns. Resentment admittedly bubbled up inside of herself.

Optimism's grace scuttled….

Defensiveness poisoning Good Will and Love….

Everyone looks to their own needs and not to each other! Victoria rubbed the back of her neck. She glanced outside. She knew full well that John wouldn't let Buck's attitude stand.

"What was Buck thinking?" Annie shook her head. "He's so kind and gentle. I know things used to get to him." She took a mouthful of milk. "But to get angry at Mercedes like that?"

"Mama, why is Buck so mad?" Jenny trembled.

"He's just upset, Jenny. It's like when your Daddy and me disagree. We used to yell too. It'll be all right." Annie hugged her daughter.

"We should talk as family." Victoria rubbed Jenny's shoulder. She heard the door open.

Buck shuffled in. Shame slowed his gait. He pulled the hat from his head. His eyes bored into the floor. He lingered by the couch.

Annie cleared her throat. "Jenny, please take the bucket and get some water?"

Reluctance stewed in Jenny's stomach. She wanted to hear Buck's explanation. She wanted to know that he was all right. Still, her mother had spoken. "Yes, Momma." She got up from her chair, grabbed the bucket and headed for the door. Her eyes drifted toward him. Then she went outside.

"Buck, what happened at the rancho? Why did you lose your temper like that?" Annie pressed. She walked over to him.

He sighed. He forced his head up to face Victoria and her. "Annie, Victoria, I'm just sorry you had to see that. I tried to stay quiet about my feelings. Really I did. Mercedes just keep pushing and pushing."

"She has her dreams, Buck. Papa, her mother and now you have put her on the defensive! You know better than that!" Victoria snapped. Crimson darkened her face. "¿QUE ESTABAS PENSANDO?"

He curled his lip. "Everyone's got their dreams, Victoria! You had your trouble too when you first got here! You had to get John to give you space. Remember? Remember how mad you were? I sure do! We all need time! I tried to stay quiet! All right? I didn't wanna say NOTHIN'! I was letting Mercedes talk. I miss my best friend! And I've got more experience than Blue Boy when it comes to being a foreman. So why did Don Mano and Don Ricardo pick him over me?"

Victoria raised an eyebrow. "Don Ricardo knows how Manolito and you can be, Buck. He did not want either of you tempted by saloons and gambling. If you are at Rivertree, the rancho would suffer for it. No. It's better this way."

"Better for who? John and you get your mule! Blue Boy gets his adventure!" Buck insisted.

"Now wait a minute!'' John glared at him from the open door. "We all saw how capable Blue is this morning! I'll admit I was very impressed. Manolito and he seem to be working well together. We need you down here. Annie and Victoria work well together. You work well with the men and me."

"Buck, that ranch is very nice. I like the High Chaparral better. We can be happy here. They can be happy there. It's only ten miles up the road," Annie insisted. "I don't want to move again. I do want Jenny to go to school. It's a long way but I'd like it."

"Where would she live?" Buck shook his head.

"She could stay with Miguel at the mission. I am sure he would be delighted to have someone else helping him in return for a room and meals. Besides, she can come back on the weekends," Victoria suggested. "Manolito, Blue, Penny and Mercedes have their new life. Annie and you have yours. John and I have ours. We all have to balance those dreams. You have love, Buck. Do you want to keep it or lose it?"

"Huh? Oh not you too, Victoria! Brother John made my head hurt like this!" Buck complained.

"Victoria has a point, Buck. Answer the question already." John folded his arms across his chest.

"Course I love Annie and Jenny! That's a dumb question!" Buck scowled.

"Then why are you acting like you're being forced into it, Buck? If you love me, it should work. It's not like we won't see 'em. I'll be up there lots at harvest time! We'll be helping. I want some apples and vegetables like what we had back in Missouri. You've got the best of all worlds. Stop acting like that ain't the case already!" Annie slapped her hand on the table. "Land sakes! I love you, Buck Cannon! You know that! I know you love me! That's all we need!"

Buck sucked in Realization's burning truth. "Yeah. That be about it. I just wish she hadn't pushed to know what I was thinking if she couldn't take it. Not saying it's right but I did try."

"Well we all have something to deal with." John put his hat back on. "I'm going to the West Range. You coming, Buck?"

Annie motioned toward the door. "I heard what I wanted to hear. Buck, go on. I'll see you later." She walked up to him. Her lips kissed his cheek. "Just know I'm here."

"Oh I know." Buck tipped his hat. Then he followed John outside.

Victoria shook her head. Bad enough they had to deal with Sebastian and Lupe. Now there was Buck too.

Would the conflicts ever stop?