EDITED 5/30/2020
The picture has nothing to do with the chapter but I just found it and it's giving me life at the moment so there ya go.
Also - I'm so sorry for how long it took me to write this chapter! I'm doing my best, y'all.
"Clary?" Alec asked, kneeling in front of her. "Clary? Can you hear me?" He waved a hand in front of her face. "How long has she been like this?" He turned to gaze at Magnus over his shoulder.
Magnus looked up from where he was leaning against the wall, arms crossed, staring at the floor. "Forty-five minutes. At least."
Alec sighed and turned back to Clary. "Clary? Where's Jace? Is he okay?" Clary's eyes snapped to his and filled with tears. "Clary! What happened in the Seelie Court?" He cupped her face in his hands and looked into her eyes, willing her to tell him what had happened.
Clary took in a shaky breath, looking up towards the ceiling, trying to hold the tears at bay.
"Simon insisted on coming with us, and he screwed up, killed something by accident. The Queen, she tried to choke them with vines unless I kissed the person I wanted most." She broke off in a sob.
"And it wasn't Simon." Magnus concluded.
Clary cried harder and shook her head. "No."
"So, you kissed Jace." Alec sighed, realizing what had happened.
"I had no choice." Clary looked back at him. "She would've killed them!"
"I know." Alec reassured her, wrapping his arms around her. "I know. It's okay."
Clary sobbed into Alec's shoulder. "Simon hates me now. He's going to break up with me."
"Don't worry, Clary. I'll take care of everything." He whispered into her ear. "Big Brother's here. I've got you."
—
That night, Izzy and Alec were standing near the doors of the Institute ready to welcome the Downworlders.
Izzy straightened Alec's jacket. "Okay." She sighed happily. "You look good."
"I must say," Meliorn approached the two. "When I received your invitation, I was skeptical. I still am, though your sister's presence is always heartening." He smiled at Isabelle.
"As is yours, Meliorn." Izzy allowed.
"Well, tonight." Alec interjected, holding out a hand. "I hope to erase your skepticism."
Clary watched from the floor above, leaning her against the railing as Raphael walked in and Izzy hurried to greet him.
As Izzy and Raphael conversed, Alec finished greeting Meliorn. Clary marveled at how at-ease her older brother seemed. Had she been in his position she would've been petrified.
She snapped back to attention as Magnus walked in. She nearly giggled, which would've alerted everyone to her presence, as she witnessed the terribly awkward scene before her.
"Lovely to see you, Mister Lightwood." Magnus greeted his boyfriend.
"And you, Mister Bane." Alec shook his hand. "Thank you for taking the time."
Clary facepalmed.
"I wouldn't miss it." Magnus returned with a smile. "I have tremendous respect for the new head of the institute."
Alec gestured for Magnus to head inside before him, but Magnus hesitated. "I'll be in in a moment." He told him.
Alec nodded and entered the conference room, Magnus waited until the doors were shut before he made his way towards where Clary was standing. He looked up at her from where he was standing on the floor below.
"Not joining us?" He inquired.
"Not this time." Clary answered in a hushed tone. "How'd you know I was here?"
Magnus smirked and held up his wrist, Clary could see his bracelet was glowing faintly. Her hand found her pendant that hung from her neck, it felt warm and she looked down to see that it was glowing as well.
"Oh." Was all she said.
"After the meeting I'm going to come find you." Magnus told her. "I have something that we need to discuss."
"I'll be in my room." She told him.
Magnus nodded. "I'll see you after the meeting Biscuit, I should join the party." He winked at her and turned to enter the room.
Clary watched him go and waited until the heavy doors closed behind him before retreating to her room.
—
It was only an hour later when Magnus slipped into her room, closing the door behind him.
"That didn't take long." Clary remarked, setting the sketch pad that she been utilizing aside.
"Luke tried to kill Valentine. The meeting got cut short, as you can imagine."
"What?" Clary gasped.
Magnus nodded. "Alexander let him go, said he won't be informing the Clave."
"Wow." Clary ran a hand through her jet-black hair and looked up at the Warlock who was standing somewhat uncomfortably near her bed. "You can sit." She told him, clearing away her art supplies.
Magnus kicked off his shoes and reclined against the pillows of her bed, much like she was, although he stretched his legs out, whereas hers were curled up to her chest.
"What did you want to talk about?" Clary asked him as she fiddled with her pendant.
Magnus sighed. "I'm worried about you." He started off. "You've had so much change so quickly, we all have, but you more than anyone. Your identity, your appearance, your family, your entire world, really. I'm sure it seems like it's been so long since you were first introduced to the shadow world, but Clary, it's only been three months. And those three months have been so jam packed of change and hardship and you've barely talked about it all."
"So, what?" Clary shrugged. "You're offering to play shrink? Want to talk about all my deep dark secrets and feelings?" She laughed humorlessly. "I'm fine, Magnus."
Magnus shook his head and sat up a little so that he could gaze into her eyes. "You're not. You wish you were, but you aren't. Alec told me about what that bastard, Sebastian had to say. It's bullshit. All of it. You're a real Lightwood, you have a family, Clary. A family who loves you and that worries for you. I'm worried for you."
"Okay!" Clary burst. "My mother lied to me my entire life. You and Luke helped her. I find out that I'm a part of some sort of secret society that kills demons and my mother has been kidnapped by my father who isn't dead like I'd been told and instead is some psychopath that could be compared to Hitler or Voldemort! Then, I get my mom back only to have her be murdered by someone I considered a friend. That friend then wants me to be his biological sister, and if that sounded crazy, what's crazier is that it was possible. And so now I'm biologically a Lightwood and I have all these fancy new family members and then my best friend who was a mundane but is now a vampire tells me that he's in love with me so we get together. Then my brother tries to kill himself and I almost die. The whole thing with Azazel and Alec still hasn't opened up about the torture and oh yeah, I'm an aunt now, too. Since you guys adopted Madzie. Then the Seelie Queen made me kiss Jace and Simon's probably going to break up with me."
Magnus reached out and brushed the tears from her face, Clary hadn't even been aware that she was crying. Magnus' bracelet and Clary's pendant were gently pulsing as he dropped his hand from her face to rest on her shoulder.
"I feel like my life is falling apart, and there's nothing I can do to stop it." She whispered to him.
"I know." He pulled her into his chest, and he reclined back against the pillows. He knew Alec would be looking for him, he hadn't said anything to him as he'd wandered off while Alec was speaking with Meliorn. He was almost certain that Alec would know that Magnus hadn't left the institute, that he'd do no such thing without first bidding his boyfriend goodbye. "It's going to be okay, Clary. Everything will sort itself out."
"How can you be so sure?" She whispered back as she relaxed against him, allowing him to tuck her head under his chin.
"An old friend of mine, he went through something life changing. Not exactly similar, but it was devastating. I might actually be able to set up a meeting between the two of you." Magnus mused as he realized what a genius idea it was.
"A friend?" Clary prodded curiously.
"Yes. He's a warlock, about a century younger than me. His name is Wesley. I call him Wes. He's a delightful young fellow." Magnus rattled off, absentmindedly. He carded his fingers through her hair as he hummed a little tune that he'd picked up from Alec. He turned the idea over in his mind for a while longer, weighing the pros and cons. Admittedly, there weren't many cons at all. Magnus really felt that Wesley might be able to help Clary through this little bump in the road before it was too late.
Magnus jumped lightly when the door opened, breaking the near silence in the room.
"Hey, sis, have you -? Oh. There you are." Alec sighed.
"Shh!" Magnus hushed him, gesturing down to the now-sleeping Clary that was sprawled out on his chest. He dropped the lock of her hair that he'd been twirling and rested his hand against her back.
Alec sat on the edge of the bed next to Magnus and looked down at his sister's face. He easily spotted the tear tracks that stained her cheeks and the redness that marred the edges of her eyes. Her breathing was steady, though and her face was lax. She looked peaceful enough.
"Everything okay?" Alec asked, looking back up at Magnus.
"It will be, I think." Magnus nodded. "I'm going to call an old friend of mine tomorrow. I think meeting him will do her some good."
"Thank you." Was all Alec could think to say.
"Alexander," Magnus sighed. "I think talking about it will do you some good."
"It?" Alec's eyes flickered back down to Clary, which Magnus assumed meant that Alec knew exactly what Magnus was talking about.
"You took my place. You let them torture you." Magnus shot back, desperate for Alec to understand.
"We've already discussed this." Alec sighed, rising from his spot on the bed. He walked over to Clary's desk and picked up her sketch pad. The corners of his mouth curved upwards in a bitter smile as he saw that the little book was open to a halfway finished drawing of him. He put it back down and turned back to the man on the bed. Magnus seemed to be waiting for Alec to say something else.
Alec shook his head and shrugged. "I already told you. I'd do anything for you. Anything that would spare you suffering or pain. My only regret is that I couldn't stop it sooner."
"I don't want you to explain yourself." Magnus told him. "I want you to talk about what happened. You don't have to close yourself off to me, Alexander. I love you, I'm here for you. You can tell me anything."
Alec leaned his hip against the desk and crossed his arms, seemingly deep in thought. "It was bad. It hurt. I saw things." He shrugged. "It doesn't matter. It was worth it."
Magnus sighed. "What did you see?" He pressed, wanting Alec to open up more.
"Pieces of my childhood. Things I'd forgotten. Things I'd wanted to stay forgotten." Alec was bouncing his leg and tapping his fingers against his elbow. "My Father, he..." Alec sighed. "It's pretty common, in Shadowhunter families, punishments of the physical variety. It got bad, sometimes. Most of the time."
"You were abused." Magnus breathed.
"Like I said, it's a pretty common practice throughout Shadowhunter families." Alec straightened. "I have business I need to take care of. Are you going to stay here tonight?" He gestured to where Magnus lay with Clary in his arms.
Magnus shook his head. "Just for a while longer. I don't want to wake her. She needs the rest. I'll see you back at the apartment? Catarina will be dropping Madzie back off soon."
Alec nodded and stopped down to plant a kiss on Magnus' lips and another on Clary's temple. He swept out of the room and made his way down to the ops room.
He found that the room was empty and he made his way to the middle table. He pulled up the screen and opened the reports that Jace and Clary wrote on the Seelie mission.
Alec had been reviewing the reports for about a half an hour when Sebastian meandered up beside him, peering at the screen that he'd been examining.
Alec slowly looked over his shoulder at Sebastian, gazing at him as if he couldn't believe that the man was standing next to him.
"Hey, mate!" Sebastian greeted cheerfully.
Alec's expression of disbelief quickly changed to one of disgust. "I'm not your mate." He spat, as if the word left a bad taste in his mouth.
Sebastian gave Alec a look of confusion. "Have I done something wrong?"
"Yes!" Alec exclaimed, brightening up at once, as if Sebastian had finally said something intelligent.
Sebastian simply raised an eyebrow.
"How dare you waltz up to me as if you didn't spew all that bullshit to my little sister? How dare you make her feel like she's just some damn charity case? That she's not a real Lightwood." Alec shook his head. "Don't you ever speak to my baby sister again. I see you near her, I'll show you what a real Lightwood is capable of."
Sebastian was now gazing at Alec in disbelief and if Alec wasn't imagining things, a little bit of fear. Finally, Sebastian swallowed thickly and backed away from the angry man.
"Alright." He said before quickly leaving the room.
Alec sighed and turned back to the monitor, shaking his head. Some days he really felt like he was surrounded by idiots.
—
Magnus had left not too long ago, and Clary had woken up alone. She'd checked her phone, hoping that Simon had changed his mind. The text she'd received said differently.
I'm sorry. I can't. It's over.
Clary perched on the edge of her bed and began to cry.
"Clary," Isabelle said as she opened her sister's door, letting herself into the room. "I just had the worst -" She cut herself off when she saw the tears streaming down her little sister's face.
"Oh," she breathed. She quickly made her way to the bed and plopped down beside the weeping girl, enveloping her into her arms. "Oh, honey. What happened?"
"The Queen tricked me. I had to kiss Jace and now Simon and I are over." She sobbed.
"Oh, Clary." Isabelle sighed in sympathy. "It's going to be okay. You'll see."
"I don't think it is." Clary argued. "I don't think I can do this anymore."
"Do what?" Isabelle pulled back.
Clary shrugged and struggled for the words. "Anything." She finally settled.
—
Alec rolled over in bed and threw an arm out to the other side only to find it empty. He opened his eyes and sat up, not finding Magnus anywhere in the room.
"Magnus?" He called out.
When Magnus didn't respond Alec got out of bed and pulled a pair of black jeans on and grabbed a shirt. He left the bedroom, wandering into the living room.
"There you are." Alec said as he pulled the shirt over his head.
Magnus turned around in his chair and plastered a smile on his face. "Good morning."
Alec just gave him a disappointed look. "I'd say the same, but it looks like you haven't slept."
Magnus rose from the chair and slowly made his way towards Alec. "Should I be insulted by that?" He asked.
"No," A shy smile graced Alec's lips. "I love that face. But this is like the fourth morning in a row that I've woken up to an empty bed. Is there something bothering you?"
Magnus shook his head, smile still in place. "Nothing is bothering me. I've even gotten used to your adorable little snores."
"Hey," Alec glared at him playfully. "I don't snore."
Magnus pretended to snore, enjoying the light teasing that was taking place.
"Look," Alec started again. "I know you well enough to know something's going on."
"Alexander. I'm fine." Magnus assured him. "Now go wake your daughter. I've got a client in an hour and I told her you'd take her to the institute with you while I'm working. I'd rather she not be around this one." He leaned in and kissed Alec. He wandered over to the kitchen and Alec made his way to Madzie's bedroom.
He opened the door to find that she was already awake and was trying to tie her little black boots that Magnus had gotten her. He'd insisted that she have them since they looked nearly identical to the ones that Alec wears.
"Hey, Princess." Alec approached her, kneeling in front of her and finishing off the knot.
"Thanks, Daddy." Madzie said as she crawled into his arms. He lifted her up and took her into the kitchen to say a quick goodbye to Magnus.
Not an hour later they were in the ops room. Alec, Sebastian (much to Alec's displeasure) Isabelle and Jace were standing around a table towards the middle of the room. Madzie was sitting at Alec's feet, halfway under the table with a book that Clary had gifted her.
"I've requested that Valentine be moved to the Guard in Idris." Alec told the three Shadowhunters. "The Clave has approved the transfer."
"You told them about the assassination attempt?" Jace inquired.
Alec hesitated. "No." He finally said. "I explained to them that moving Valentine out of the city was the best way to restore relations with the Downworld. I left Luke out of it."
"It is the right decision." Sebastian added. Alec suppressed the urge to groan and roll his eyes. As head of the institute he couldn't behave in such a manner. No matter how much he wanted to.
"But we have not given up on finding whoever orchestrated the hit on Valentine." Alec continued as if Sebastian hadn't spoken.
"I actually have a few leads on that." Sebastian spoke again. "I'll get a report in by the end of the day."
"Great." Alec acknowledged. "Izzy, you'll be leading the transfer mission." He continued as Sebastian walked away. "Jace you will assist."
"We need to remove Valentine's circle rune." Izzy told her brother. "The new wards in Idris won't let him pass with it on. Jace, do you want the honors?"
"I thought you'd never ask." Jace smirked and left the room.
Alec started to type on the monitor before he realized his sister was staring him down. "Something wrong?" He asked, letting his hands still.
"I'm worried about Clary." Izzy told him.
"Auntie Clary?" Madzie leaned back against her father's legs in order to peer up at her Aunt. "Daddy? Is Auntie Clary okay?"
"Yeah, honey. She's fine. Read your book." Alec's answer seemed to satisfy the young girl. She began pouring over her book again although she did not move from her position against Alec's legs. Alec leaned in closer to Isabelle and dropped his voice to a whisper. "What's wrong with Clary?"
"I think she's going to kill herself."
Alec had the sudden urge to vomit.