Two days Later- Raven
I never thought mentally fighting my way through a trance would leave me so physically sore. However it has been two days since the defeat of Klarion and Taila and I can still feel the subtle aches in my thighs and arms. Even some spots up my back feel as though I was punched in the spine. Which I have been punched in the spine before so I can say it is an accurate comparison. Even though we all have been at the manor, visiting for a little longer before going back to Jump. I still have yet to make the choice if I want to to go back or if I am going to try to resume my free of magic life here. Not really free of magic, just free of being a hero of needs to use her magic on the daily to live.
So far, I haven't been able to sway myself one way or the other. Both life styles have their perks. I could go back to my friends that I have forgiven, allow myself to take Bruce up on his offer to rejoin the Titans. Having to fight tooth and nail to stay alive during battles, needing to constantly prove to everyone that I am not a danger and should be allowed to help people. I could also just go back to working, making money and living away from the danger and trying to resume what semi normal life I had during those three years I was...alone. I could make new friends. I could start over. But I would still be...alone. Both ways has its pros and cons and I don't know which one I would rather do. I haven't spoken to anyone about the choice. It doesn't seem fair to tell them I am not sure I want to go back. They just got me back in a way.
Being here right now is probably the most awkward I have felt in a while. Jason and I have a hard time not running into each other and I can feel from him how much he wants to talk to me, how much he wants everything to be okay. Sometimes I want to give him that, but I can't pretend that I don't have slight nightmares about the trance. I know it wasn't real, but the pain was. So was the pain of him cheating and his words. I can't pretend that it never happened or that his words didn't sting. However, regardless of all of that I still feel myself missing him. Not just in a romantic way but his friendship and humor. How casual he is, and how his rough edges make me feel less like a mess. Which is wrong, I can admit that. Liking how someone else's crazy makes your crazy seem smaller.
As of now, Tim seems to be the only one I can stand to be around without feeling pressure to stay with the Titans or stay here. He sits besides me in the living room, his laptop on his lap and his brow furrowed in concentration. I have both my legs tucked in underneath me as I watch something boring on television. I can't even remember what it is about. Some cheesy romantic movie which doesn't make any sense to me. Half the shit that happens here could have been avoided if people communicated better or just didn't let their choices be driven by pointless emotion.
"Why do you look so confused?" Tim asks, I look over from the movie to see an amused look on his face.
"I don't understand this movie" I reply he chuckles
"What? Why not?" He asks with a snort
"It's pointless, why did they make the bet? Then why did he go through with it? Then why when he started liking her for real, why didn't he tell her and then communicate that he actually likes her and doesn't want to continue the bet anymore. Then she wouldn't have figured it out in a rude way and they wouldn't be fighting right now" I reply
"That wouldn't be convenient to the plot Rae" He says I shake my head
"I don't know, I think I would like a movie more if they made smart choices and shit still went haywire" I reply Tim laughs
"It's not relatable like that, but I see what you mean. It does get quite annoying sometimes. Especially when they keep making dumb choices" He replies, I guess I see what he means. Doesn't make this movie any less irritating or pointless.
We fall back into silence as he continues typing away at whatever he is working on neither one of us breaking away from our activities though it's boring on my side. I already know how this movie will end, girl chooses boy even though boy treated her like shit and boy realizes his life is so much better with her in it and goes against his friends and old personality to be with her. Live happily ever after blah blah blah. As I said these movies are pointless. I hear the typing stop from Tim and I look over at him for a moment to see his eyes on me. I don't look away arching an eyebrow to him.
"Can I ask you something?" He asks
"I guess" I reply, He pauses for a moment trying to gather his thoughts.
"Do you blame Jason?" he asks I furrow my brow chewing on the inside of my cheek as I think of the answer.
"Why do you want to know?" I ask, more so just buying time while I think of an answer for him. What a strange question from Tim.
"I just...I feel like I am partly responsible for everything that happened with you two. I will admit I was way too excited to tell you about what I caught him doing. I think I thought he was just...not deserving of you" He says I nod but my heart drops into my stomach. What the hell kind of conversation am I having?
"You didn't know he was being forced to sleep with her. You thought he was cheating. I don't mind that you told me." I reply he nods but I can feel the guilt from him, I suck in a deep breath and release it steadily "You don't have to feel bad for what you felt."
"He's my brother and I thought he didn't deserve you. I was excited to ruin the only relationship that has been good for him." He replies, I nod chewing my cheek again
"I can't help you with that, I am not a therapist or someone who can give you the help you need to know why you did that. I can just say...it's okay" I answer he nods scratching the back of his head. "To answer your question, I don't blame him for the cheating even though it hurt. I can't pretend that his words were is choice and those still bother me"
"I didn't peg you for the type of person to hang on to those things" He says
"I don't normally, but it's different when it's someone you love saying them. About something that still greatly affects you. He used my trauma to justify his cheating" I answer he nods once again taking a deep breath
'"Thank you" He replies I nod returning back to the television. "You should talk to him."
"I know I need to, I just don't know how or what could come out of it" I admit
"You should do it anyway, I think it'll be good for the both of you. Before...before he has too much on his plate" Tim says, he knows something. Something I don't, and something Jason is about to know.
"Are you telling me I need to do it before he finds something out that will make him...different?" I ask vaguely
"I am" He says his tone taking on a more serious tone, I nod getting to my feet and switching off the TV
"Then I will go do it" I say, but I can feel the knots in my stomach. This is going to be easier said than done.
The first place I check is the library, I know it is how he likes to spend some of his time. I never thought I would meet someone who likes to read as much as I do. Now I met two, Jason and Damian. I see Damian in the library sitting in his usual spot on top of the book case with his legs in the lotus position. I guess I know where to find him if I ever need to find him. The next place I check is outside to be sure his car is still here, which it is. I suck in a breath knowing the next place I need to check is his bedroom. Which makes me nervous for reasons I can't figure out. I walk through the empty hallways as pause in front of his door. I knock twice lightly holding my breath unknowingly for a couple seconds. I release the breath as the door swings open Jason's eyes widening at the sight of me.
"Raven...uhh...hey" He says before regathering his composure.
"I think it's time we talk" I say he nods stepping aside and opening the door wide enough for me to get in. I walk pass him and into the room, it's as neat as always.
"Look before you say anything I just want to say something okay?" He starts putting up a hand to halt me before I even open my mouth "I am sorry. I should have fought more against her power but I didn't. I didn't mean to not fight but I just didn't. Then I didn't tell you and I know how big you are on people communicating even though you don't communicate very well yourself"
"When did this turn into a me thing?" I ask he shakes his head and then rubs his forehead with the palm of his hand
"That's not...I didn't mean it like that. I should have talked to you. I should have told you without Tim needing to force me to. I am trying to say I am sorry. I am a fuck up and I fucked up" He says I nod
"Jason the cheating isn't what got me in the end. I mean in the end of our relationship it did...help a lot but that isn't what sent me away" I say his eyebrows furrow in confusion
"What the fuck did then?" He asks
"You were mean. You are someone I love very much and the only person I have trusted with what happened to me enough to talk to about it. Then you used it against me to make sense of what you did to us." I admit, his face falls further looking down to the ground. Seeing him in pain makes me ache in a way I dislike. I push it down taking in some centering breaths however it doesn't do much for me.
"I am sorry for that. I wasn't thinking, I was angry and didn't want to lose you. You didn't deserve that" He answers, I nod I know he means it, I can feel it from him.
"Jason, I don't know where we go from here" I reply
"I don't either, being with you was...different. Mentally I don't know maybe I am so fucked up I shouldn't be with anyone." He says
"That's is only as true as you believe it to be" I reply, it is something similar to what Garfield told me a long time ago, 'You are only as alone and you let yourself be' It was the first real thing that he said that showed me how smart he was when he wanted to be.
"I don't want to hurt you again" He says, he sounds more defeated than anything. He probably is used to just giving things up, to stop himself from feeling pain when someone else give it up.
"I am not saying that we have to be together, I do think that we should go back to being friends. We should go back to how we used to be and then if we get together, then...it happens in it's own time." I answer he nods rubbing his face, it is red from where he rubbed, the silver streak of hair falling onto his forehead.
"I like that, at least it gives me time not to fuck myself over by making more mistakes" He says I chuckle seeing his attempt to lighten the mood in the strange way he does.
"For now, you should go back to Aruba. I think it would be great for you to get away" I say in hopes of getting him to leave before he finds out whatever information is going to send him down in a spiral. I don't know what it is that he is going to find out. If it is enough for Tim to get involved and think I should talk to him now it has to be serious.
"I need to be here, there is some stuff Bruce says we have to discuss. I do need a fucking vacation though" He says roughly another twist in my stomach.
"When?" I ask He furrows his brows shoving his hands into his pockets.
"I was actually supposed to be in his office by now" He says
I suck in a breath and gesture for him to go ahead, tailing behind him at a distance. We make our way to Bruce's Office, Jason knocks on the door waiting for it to be answered which in itself isn't like Jason. I feel a slight feeling of illness in my stomach like I am going to be sick and I don't know why until I see the look on Bruce's face. I am feeling what he is feeling. He nods to me letting me walk into the room with Jason. I stand in the back like a fly on the wall as Bruce leans against his desk, Jason standing in front of him. I pull my hood up over my face, mostly keep my facial expressions more hidden if I can't contain them.
"Jason, I think you need to leave town" Bruce says my lips part slightly, Is Bruce kicking Jason out?
"What? Why the fuck is that? Am I too much of a problem here now?" Jason asks defensively Bruce puts a hand up shaking his head slightly.
"No, I want you safe and I don't think you are safe in Gotham anymore. I think you should leave Town for your safety" he says, putting a hand on Jason's shoulder, Jason looks at Bruce's hand and then back up at him.
"What's going on? Why do I need to leave town? Why am I not safe? I am pretty sure I can protect myself if I need to. No one is really ever a danger to me" Jason says, I roll my eyes and think to myself. 'You aren't invincible Jason' I don't say it but I want to. I get the feeling this is one of those moments I can be present for but I need to keep my mouth shut.
"Jason he's back" Bruce says I don't know who they are talking about until I see the look on Jason's face. His eyes frozen open in fear and his mouth parting in silent words he cannot force out. He backs away from Bruce's hand but backs into the chair and trips slightly he stumbles which has me pulling myself up from the wall to help him if he needs me to.
"Ho-are-how do you know?" He stumbles through his words cornering himself, sliding down the corner of the bookshelf and the wall. Bruce and I surrounding him while he puts his palms to his head, tucking his knees to his chest. I have never seen him react this way to anything.
"He broke out two weeks ago, we have been looking for him while you guys dealt with Taila. We didn't want to make everything worse. We were unable to find him. I think you should get somewhere far away from here" Bruce explains getting down to his level, Jason looks at his the same panic in his eyes.
"Do you need me to help?" I monotone, Bruce looks up at me nodding softly
"I need you to get him somewhere away from here. Maybe where you guys were before? I just...I can't risk losing him again" Bruce says I nod getting back down to Jason's level with him.
"Jason, let's go to Aruba" I offer he doesn't reply just stares out, like he is looking at me but not looking at me. A dangerous glow behind his eyes tells me his fear is turning into anger. Which is all I need to know to grab his hand. I tighten my grip on him squeezing us through space until we land into the dark of our Aruban house on the beach. He jolts looking around his eyes fall onto me with a look of betrayal.
"Why did you do that?" He asks me angrily I press my lips together tightly
"We need to keep you away from Gotham, just for a little bit." I say he scoffs getting to his feet. I get to mine so that he wouldn't tower over me.
"Do you understand who is back? He could hurt someone else?! Tim, or Damian I need to be there for them" He shouts I shake my head putting my hands up to keep him from pushing past me.
"If they need us they will call us. The Joker will not hurt anyone else" I say he flinches at the name, something I recognize as something I do for my own mental shit.
"If they die-" He begins but I cut him off with a hand up
"I am not arguing this Jason Todd, you are staying right here. You are going to be far away from Gotham until Bruce calls us back" I demand he shuts his mouth rubbing the back of his head with anxiety. I know this isn't easy for him, I didn't think it would be.
For the rest of the night I needed to keep a close eye on Jason, I even went as far as to put a spell on all the exits and entries, he cannot leave until I am with him, we have to go everywhere together or he won't be able to leave at all. For now he has fallen asleep on the bed we used to share, I thought it would be weird to sleep next to him but knowing I could possibly help the nightmares I can only imagine are coming I slide into bed next to him as he lightly snores. I don't know when I fall asleep but I know I had to at some point, I sleep more peacefully knowing that he can't leave here and go back to Gotham and risk his life. This is going to be rough. I can tell.
Present day- Dick
Knowing that Kori is going back to the tower tomorrow makes my stomach twist into knots. I don't like being without her, when she is around all my problems seem so small. Her fiery hair is wrapped in a bun behind her as she sleeps. I sneakily move my arm from under her walking out of the room for a glass of water. As I walk through to the kitchen I can feel the cold of the kitchen tiles on my bare feet. Tim is sitting on the breakfast bar in the kitchen, which hardly anyone uses. His face in his palms.
"What is it dude?" I ask casually opening the fridge and opening a cold bottled water. I take a quick swig as Tim looks up from his palm.
"Jason and Raven are gone" He says
"Like back together?" I ask, I didn't mean for my tone to come off with disgust but it does anyway
"No, they left to their shared house though! Bruce told me he sent Jason away" Tim replies
What? Why?" I ask he shrugs
I shake my head putting my water bottle down on the counter as I walk through the kitchen with the purpose of finding Bruce. I can tell I am walking aggressively by the worried look on Tim's face as I walked past him, he follows me closely but doesn't stop me. I throw open the door to Bruce's door glaring down at him in his desk. He has a drink next to him and he looks like he is ready to kill himself. That is actually what he looks like.
"You sent Jason away?" I ask he nods taking a drink of his malt.
"Dick, he's back. I couldn't let Jason be in the way of him again. I can't let him get hurt again" Bruce says lowly I furrow my brow trying to think about who is back that would cause Bruce to send away the son he was working on getting closer to.
"The Joker broke out again?" I ask in disbelief he nods slowly and I can hear Tim choke on some words behind me, he has always been worried about having to deal with the same thing Jason had to go through. The Joker enjoys hurting the Robin's knowing it hurts Bruce.
"I didn't want to send him away but I didn't want to...I didn't want him to go through it all again. I had Raven teleport him where he needed to be" Bruce replies, his voice is low and in a dangerous deepness.
"What are we going to do? We can't let him get to Damian or Tim" I say he nods
"We have to do what we always do. Get him back in Arkham. I have a gut feeling this is going to be a lot different than the other times." Bruce replies, when Bruce's gut says something we listen. It is rarely wrong.
"Do you think it was a good idea to send him away though? We might need him. We might need Raven" I say he shrugs leaning back in his chair, the look in his eye tells me he is not ready to discuss his choice, so I drop it, leaving him in the room Tim following close behind me.
"What are we going to do?" He asks I shrug shaking my head
"I don't know, but what I do is that he isn't getting ahold of you two. I will kill him myself if I have to" I say walking away from Tim and into my bedroom. I need to tell Kori, as much as I don't want to wake her. I think she needs to know I won't be going back with them yet again. Even though I had promised her I would actually think about it. Now it just doesn't seem like the right time. The Joker despite his name is no joke, he killed my brother before. I can't let it happen again.