When the elevator reached the bottom, I was confronted by two disciples. "Hey, OB." They approached me and stopped inches from my face. One started to shove me. "Going out for a walk?" The other one laughed manically, making a snarky comment. "Let's go for a walk together, shall we?"

I felt my fist tighten. I was sick of being bossed around and not taken seriously. I felt the one hook their hand under my arm and start to pull me away. I ripped myself from her grip and in one swift punch knocked her out cold.

She hit the dirt as the other Disciple stepped back, her mouth hanging open in shock "Send this message to your leader." I quickly ran from the scene still surprised at my actions. I looked back to see the girl dragging her back to their camp.

I raced out on to the dirt road of Nuka World. I was out front of the café in seconds. I frantically looked around. Nisha was nowhere in sight. Static was clouding my head as my thoughts raced. I focused in on the buildings. Maybe she was watching me. Ready to snipe me down. Their taunting and malicious laughter was echoing in and out of my ears. I rubbed my temples. Suddenly, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned on my heels and gripped the knife that was strapped to my thigh. It was Gage.

He was holding two cups of coffee and smiling, my panic immediately faded when I saw him. He noticed my expression and inquired "Boss...are you alright?"

"Have you seen Nisha around?" I was looking past him, standing on my tippy toes to see behind him.

"No..." I saw his shoulders hunch in concern "why? Is she bothering you, again?"

I brought my attention back to Gage's worried face. "I just heard she wanted to apologize to me...for the other night." I wasn't very convincing because his expression did not change. I touched his arm "Gage, its fine. I promise." We looked into each other's eyes. I felt my body relax as I thought about his lips on the tender parts of my body.

"If you say so." He watched me a few moments longer and then handed me the second mug he was holding. "You're coffee, Boss" I accepted it gratefully.

I took a sip and stared at him from the rim of my mug "you're in a good mood" I said suggestively.

His face turned a light shade of pink as he covered his smirk with his cup "is it really that obvious?" I nodded, feeling my stomach flutter in excitement. I really liked that I made him act this way. He chuckled "the raider at the counter did give me a strange look when I tipped him for the free coffee..."

I giggled and took another sip of caffeine. Suddenly, I heard footsteps crushing the gravel behind me and shifted my eyes to the side. I took a deep breath as two Operators chatted past me. I relaxed. I felt Gage staring at me again "Boss…you would tell me if something was wrong."

"Of course, yes. I'm just as little wired today. Caffeine hits me fast." He nodded and took another sip. "Well…what do we have planned today?"

"Ah, that's right. Follow me." He set his ceramic cup on the pillar next to the café and started walking toward the main entrance.

I watched his hand swing from his side. I wanted so badly to lace my fingers between his. I needed him. Right now. I reached out and lightly touched his hand. He quickly angled his head to my touch. He flushed as he paused for a moment. I felt him squeeze my hand once and then throw it down. A quick ping of pain shot through my chest. I know he didn't mean it. He just didn't want everyone knowing about us. Now yet a least, but it still hurt to be rejected. I was vulnerable all the time, when I shouldn't be.

We approached the front gates where a dark man in a long trench coat and cowboy hat was waiting for us. I squinted my eyes. At first glance it looked just like Preston. When we got closer it looked more like an evil twin. This man's eyes were cold and ruthless. He had no warmth to him.

"Boss, this is Shank." Gage stepped aside to let me walk forward.

He stretched out his hand and I involuntarily shied away "You ready to start making the plans?"

I looked at Gage who continued to stare at Shank. I looked back to the man "I'm sorry….plans to rebuild the park?"

A deep throaty chuckle came from his mouth "That's funny. No. Now that we have full control of the park and we have more power and resources, it's time to expand past these old amusement park walls."

"Expand…" I was still confused.

"To the Commonwealth." He looked at me, starting to get annoyed at my cluelessness.

I felt my heart drop to my feet. I looked at him wide-eyed. The Commonwealth?

He continued to talk "There are tons of small established settlements ready for the taking. I understand that they've been provided with help from the Minute Men and an anonymous stranger but their trail went cold a while ago." Again, my stomach twitched Me I thought. "So, we have two options. One, talk to them nicely and give them the chance to leave or Two, my favorite, threaten them with life or death and force them to work for us."

The rest of the conversation was coming in muffled. I didn't understand. Gage told me he wanted to consider rebuilding the park and here we were discussing the takeover of the Commonwealth….my Commonwealth. All my hard work. All of those innocent families trying to survive and I was supposed to threaten them and have this gang of horrible raiders beat them into submission?! My second panic attack in less than 10 minutes.

I looked toward Gage, who still wouldn't make eye contact with me because he knew how I would feel about this. He just stood their like a stone wall, arms crossed and nodding at these insane plans this evil Preston was laying out for us.

Heart pounding, palms sweating, head spinning I stopped him mid-sentence "just…just shut the fuck up!" I screamed. I turned to Gage "how dare you. How DARE YOU go behind my back and plan this meeting."

He quickly grabbed my shoulders and pulled me to the side "thank you, Shank, we will get back to you on all that" Shank nodded and walked away, a look of concern on his face. Gage hunched down to my level "what the hell do you think you're doing? You can't go freaking out on people like Shank. It will cause talk and suspicion of your intention among the other gangs."

I was furious "my intentions, were to rebuild this park. You said you would consider and here you are pulling me into this meeting without my knowledge."

"Calm down, I just want you to have all your options before you make any decisions."

"Bullshit. He was talking to me as if that were the only option. Remember when you told me how you detested these Raiders for always taking and never knowing when to stop? You're being one of them right now. You have this whole place to yourself. Why go out and destroy people who are just trying to rebuild their lives?"

"If I didn't know any better it would sound like you're choosing them over us." He said 'us' as if he were talking about our relationship and not the Raiders.

"I'm choosing to be a decent human being. What about your family, Gage? Don't you remember the pain you felt seeing them get abused by Raiders day in and day out? Now, you're going to be just like them? That's disgusting."

"Hey" he pointed a finger inches from my face "I told you I left because I never wanted to be like them. Here I am. I'm a Raider now. I've made it. It's too bad for all those other saps who chose to stay and be victims. It's the circle of life."

I felt the blood pumping through my veins. He was such a talker. Knowing exactly what I wanted to hear and feeding me lies. He didn't believe in rebuilding the world like I did. It was all just bullshit. "I'm not discussing this anymore. I am the over Boss and you're just my bitch!"

The look in Gage's eye was vicious after I said that. "Now, Boss…I wouldn't be talking like that if I was you." He reached out and I pulled away.

Gage just looked at me. I watched his eyebrows furrow in concern and that's when I realized I was crying. I've always been one to wear my emotions on my sleeve. It wasn't just the salty droplets that were slipping from my eyes but also the pain and betrayal I felt in that moment. He saw it too. We were both frozen in time for a second and then out of embarrassment I wiped my eyes with my arm and stormed passed him "You fucking bastard. Don't follow me." I ran out of the gates trying to ignore the eyes that followed. Trying to block out the whispers from the Gang members who would soon come to find that I didn't care about them as much as they thought.

I walked the perimeter for a few hours just thinking about my life. I realized that I carry a lot of guilt on my back. All the lives I've taken with my bare hands. I looked down at my glove covered fingers and watched the pools of blood spread over them. I shook away the image trying not to let my imagination get the best of me.

I also thought about my family, a lot. If I was ever going to meet with them again in Heaven. Or if I would be banished to purgatory forever. Was there still a Heaven and Hell, even if there was an apocalypse happening here on earth, did it happen in the afterlife too? Experiencing an overload from taking in all those innocent lives that were lost throughout the world.

My thoughts were quickly interrupted by the sound of a bullet shooting past me. I found cover and when I had the opportunity I went to survey who was targeting me. There was a trailer in the middle of the barren parking lot, a Gunner at his camp sight. I drew my gun and started to move closer to him, taking cover when needed. "Put down your weapon." I tried to reason with him. Another gun shot rang through the parking lot walls. "Please, Sir, put down the gun. If you continue to shoot I will have to kill you."

I was close enough now to take him down. I was breathing heavy as I struggled to take aim "Dammit, I do not want to kill you, but you're leaving me no choice" I gripped my gun as I tried to take deep breaths. Suddenly, I felt a sharp stinging in my arm. I dropped my gun as I cursed "mother fucker" he had shot me in my bicep. I dug in my pack for a stimpack and with one swift move stabbed it into my arm, more grunts in pain followed. I felt my anger boiling. Why the fuck wouldn't he just listen to me. I removed from cover, releasing bullets in his direct. In a few moments the gunner had fallen from his perch and was dead.

I disarmed as I threw back my head, screaming to the sky. I felt myself burst into tears, followed by moans of anguish. It had been a long time since I had cried so hard and heavy. I approached the dead body and started to search him "I told you." I continued to cry "I told you I would do it. You stupid fuck. You made me kill you. This is your fault." He only had a few bullets and a stimpack on him. I swiped them both and kept moving. I felt I was losing myself, day by day. My anxiety building and swallowing me whole. The constant tug of war I experienced inside of myself was mounting and I could tell I wouldn't be able to keep it in any longer.

I approached a Red Rocket gas station and sat down to stare at it. I heard an engine on the horizon and turned my head to the sound. It was a beautiful red car with chrome finishing. Inside was a nuclear family; one boy, one girl and mom and dad pulled up to the building. The mom and daughter went inside as the boy helped his father pump gas. I felt my heart thudding as I watched them smile and laugh. Excited to start their adventure to Nuka-World. I always saw these vivid images of what this place looked like before the bomb. I knew I was the only one in the Commonwealth to have that pleasure. It made me perpetually sad knowing that none of these people got to experience the world before. I watched as the family went off down the road singing along to whatever song was popular on the radio. The image of the pristine new Red Rocket faded away, back to the rusted oxidized metal that was left in the aftermath.

That's what I wanted. I wanted to rebuild the world so that it could be enjoyed again. Then it came to me. I stumbled upon this position as Overboss so that I could change this park for the better. It would be the first step in a long line of improvements this world needed. I know this place would be good for the economy. It would provide jobs, and would teach people how to live again.

I stood up from the dirt road proudly and for once knew exactly who I was and what I wanted to do. I was going to tell Gage the truth and hope that he would accept me and follow my plans. I took a deep breath. If he didn't then…I would have to do what was best for the world and I would have to say…goodbye.

I erased that thought from my head and tried to stay positive. He wouldn't go against me. I was sure of it. I picked up the pace as I ran back to the Gates. I couldn't reach the elevator fast enough. I ascended up to the penthouse and started to laugh uncontrollably. I had finally figured out who I was and what I wanted and nothing was going to stop me. "Gage, Gage I-" I stopped in my tracks as I saw him sitting at the bar, Nisha standing behind him with an evil smile. My excitement faded as my face became stone cold. I approached slowly trying to ignore her and see what he was staring down at "Gage…? Is everything alright?" As I got closer I was able to see what laid before him. There was my dog tags from the Brotherhood. My holotapes from Shaun. My vault suit and…our wedding rings. There were a few more sentimental things, like the toy solider McCready had gifted me. I couldn't breathe as I stood waiting for him to say something.

It took him a few minutes to answer but then he finally spoke. "I told you everything about me. I let my guard down and trusted you." He looked up at me and his stare shook me to the core. I could see he had lost all trust. "I wondered why you never spoke about yourself. How every time I waited for you to saying something about your past you moved on or changed the subject." He shook his head as he rubbed at his face "This whole time I had the sole survivor right here in these raider filled walls. The defender of the Commonwealth helped me clear this whole park for the people she thought were scum of the earth."

"Gage, no you don't understand" he interrupted me again.

"Oh no, I think I understand all too well." He got up and looked away from the trinkets in disgust.

"No you don't! You can't read my story from just a few pieces of clothing and tapes. You don't realize the struggle I face"

He turned to me and spit the words back at me "struggle? The note that came with that toy solider and all the rest of your fan letters didn't seem like you were struggling much." He chuckled "I mean, my God, 200 years old. Sitting here and pretending like you had no idea about this world or what it was. You destroyed the institute for Pete's sake. These are things you should tell a person."

"Gage, please, none of that matters. After I met you…" I struggle to express the emotions I felt for him "you're a kind, fair and justice man. Let me just explain and I-"

"I don't want to hear it anymore. Your words clearly mean nothing." He gestured to Nisha "do what you want with her…I don't even know who she is anyway." I watched him walk toward the doors to the penthouse, his head hanging so low that it almost wasn't visible behind his shoulders.

"Gage, no, please" I backed up as two disciples came up from the elevator behind me. Nisha and Dixy approached me laughing maniacally.

"I told you I would get you. Not so stupid am I? I knew you were hiding something and once I got Gage out of your corner you would be all mine" I tried to fight them off, but I felt so weak, all I could focus on was trying to get Gage's attention.

"Gage, please, don't go! Listen to me, just listen! "I thrashed away from them as my voice came in manic and shaky "Don't let them do it. Gage…I…I love you!" I watched him hesitate as he lifted his head. He turned slightly, looking at me from over his shoulder. Our eyes met and held our gaze. Then he turned and disappeared past the door. My heart broke in two as I let out one last scream. "Gage!"

"Shut up" Nisha smacked me across the cheek "sound the alarm and let the others know. We're going to have ourselves a little hanging in the center square."