I remember the first time I saw Cas, and, other than the white hot rage and fear that swept through me, I recollect a very different feeling. Strange and all but forgien to me. Sure I've felt it before, even towards other guys, but never like that. I've felt it every time I've looked at Cas since. This was more than lust, more than 'hey I wanna stick my tongue down your throat and fuck you into next november, how does that sound?' A stupid school boy crush. That's what I decided to reduce this feeling to. Anything else sounds too romantic and all that mushy crap, and I am anything but romantic!
"Sam, would you quit pacing? I mean I know you're worked up, but you're kinda giving me a headache!" Sam had been pacing for over an hour. It's annoying as Hell!
He cast an annoyed look my way, as if he had the right to be annoyed, "Dean, you do realize the angels haven't called us or even glanced our way for over a week?"
I scoffed, "Yeah, Sam, I'm not an idiot."
"But I am? Doesn't this freak you out even a little?"
I ignored the obvious barb, "Not really! Why don't we just use this time to hunt some good old fashioned ghosts or something like usual? We can just sit back and relax," I rolled my eyes and felt myself give in, "I'm sure you can research better when you're not friggen' pacing!"
Sam frowned and put his hand on his hips in thought, "Fine. But," He gave me a wounded look, "You have to work with me here. I'm trying to do my best to figure this all out, and instead of you doing the same you spend all your time flirting with Castiel!"
What? What did he just say? It's one thing knowing that I do it without even trying, but Sam knowing? I can handle a lot but this is too much, "I do not flirt with him! Why would I?! You think his doe eyes and perfect lips are enough to make me flirt with him? Just because he's just so damn kissable does not mean that-" Wait. I really need to stop talking.
Sam sat down and smirked at me, "Hey Cas." My eyes widened and I spun around. There stood Cas, in all his cute, divine(apparently) glory. He looked confused, as if wondering why all eyes were on him.
"Cute," I breathed out before I could think about shutting up, "I mean, uh, when did you get here?" I could feel myself start to panic. Attempting to keep it hidden I coughed and shifted, to keep up my usual appearance.
He titled his head, "Dean, what is going on? Are you fighting?" He seemed off, but I didn't question it thinking it was just him being confused.
I felt happy that he hadn't heard anything, "Nah, not over anything important. I was just trying to convince Sammy over here to go hunting with me. I have the perfect case."
Castiel's eyes softened, "Ah of course. I recommend this course of action, Sam. It would be beneficial to-"
Sam started gathering his research supplies, "I know, I know. Let's go." The angel's face fell, scrunching cutely in confusion.
I raised my eyebrows at him and clapped him on the shoulder, "Let's go, Cas, I want to get something to eat before we leave town." As I walked out of the motel I could feel my hand tingle. I wiped in on my pants before opening the door of the car.
As we drove after eating some crappy food I could feel Cas's eyes burning in the back of my head. They never left even after hours of driving. This feeling of being a bug under some cup was not great. It made me sweat and panic the more we drove. After another hour I felt the burning leave, when I looked in the mirror I saw Cas fast asleep. His head had fallen back on the seat, leaving his mouth open slightly. He looked so cute. I smiled, finally pulling into a motel with Cas still sleeping like a newborn baby.
Sam and I got out of the car quickly, "I'll get a seperate room for Cas to let him sleep, he really doesn't do that all that often since he hates the idea that he has to now. I got him, you head on inside." Sam nodded, giving me a smirk, and headed in.
I shook my head and carefully opened the door. I picked him up gently, struggling a bit under his weight. He was a little taller than me, but I've had to carry Sam before so this wasn't too hard. I set him on the bed, panicking when I was suddenly pulled on top of Cas. I looked up to apologize when the words got stuck in my throat. Cas's eyes were wide open, staring right into my soul with a white hot burning look, "Dean." Nothing else, just my name, but it was enough to make it impossible to speak.
He looked down and back up quickly, "I heard everything. What was it you said? 'Damn kissable lips'? Would you like to test your theory?"
My mouth felt too dry to speak, "What-"
He leaned forward and flipped us around. He was suddenly on top of me, his arms on the sides of my head, his groin in the perfect spot to grind against my own, "I asked if you would like to kiss me, Dean. I've never done it before, but I do know that I want you to kiss me. So ju-" I pulled down his head and slammed my lips onto his. He groaned deeply, pushing against me. I let him take the lead, he was surprisingly good at kissing. With his being an angel, it wasn't too big of a surprise. I moaned as he unconsciously started grinding down. He paused suddenly, looking down in confusion at his erection. I chuckled and used his confusion to switch our positions.
He landed cutely, his confusion growing the more I took control. I kissed him roughly, bringing a hand down to palm his erection through his pants. He let out a broken moan, his confusion giving me pause, "Cas, it's fine. This is normal, this is how it's supposed to feel," I leaned down to whisper in his ear, "Don't you feel good, Cas? I can make you feel even better, do you want that?" I rubbed harder, knowing it was making his head spin.
He groaned, "D-Dean, please...Anything. I-I can-can't-" I grinned and sat up to take my shirt off. Cas stared at me, mouth agape. Grinning even wider I motioned for him to do the same before standing up to take off my jeans, shoes, and underwear. He did the same, though was less sure of himself. Even his body type was cute. Mostly lean and smallish, but had a little bit of pudge around the middle. He looked like a cuddler.
After he finished I pulled him back down by his hand and assumed the same position we were in before. He let out another broken moan when I finally started pumping his cock. Skin on skin was always better in my expert opinion, and so did Cas apparently. I stopped suddenly, causing Cas to whine and attempt to arch back into my hand. I grinned and pulled away entirely.
He looked up at me as if in a haze, "Dean-"
I interrupted him, "I know, Cas, it's all new to you. These feelings, the lust, the idea of sex, but I'm going to make you feel so good you'll forget either of our names."
Cas scrunched his eyebrows, "I could never forget your name, Dean." I knew, in that one moment, that I had never been happier. I never had a real relationship with any woman or man that I had sex with. They never made me happy. I used them, I knew that even as I did it, for my own pleasure. To fill the hole in my heart, the one left there when mom died. The one opened even wider when dad died. Cas, though, well Cas was different. He made me happy, he filled the hole and made it overflow with more emotions then I even knew of.
I smiled, a real genuine smile, "Oh Cas, I love you." I froze, wondering why I had said that and worrying about his reaction. The angel grinned, wider then I had ever seen from him.
He reached up and caressed my cheek with one hand, "I've loved you since the moment I met you." I felt like crying, but that wasn't very macho of me so I kissed him instead.
As we continued on, guiding him all the way, we knew this would change things. But in that one perfect moment neither of us cared. We fell into a sweet lustful state of oblivion, minds going blank and the fiery rage of a loving inferno nipping at our heels.
Damn it, I said I'm not romantic!