Chapter 4

Persephone

I had often pondered the concept of love in my relatively short life. Not the love of a mother and child, but the love between a man and a woman. I had vague ideas of what it was and even vaguer ideas about what men in general were like.

There was no male figure in my life. That is, not a constant one. Oh, I suppose that Zeus, my father, showed up once in a while, but not for long and never really showed me particular attention. From him, I got the impression that men were jovial and always putting on a show for others. I thought that all men were like him for a time.

I thought also that all women were either imposing like my mother, or cringing cowards like our servants. I found none of these attributes in myself, however, and I slowly came to the conclusion that many types of women existed. If there were many types of women, I reasoned, then there must be different types of men.

Even after I had even arrived at this thought, I had yet to realize that there was something special in a relationship between a man and a woman. Mother certainly showed no more affection for Zeus than she did for anyone else. No, it was from the servants' giggling gossip when my mother wasn't around that I learned of romance. Once I did, I naturally wondered when I would find it for myself.

I never considered myself a very silly girl. I was fairly practical and had a good head on my shoulders during the - limited - problems I encountered in my sheltered life. When I was pulled out of that life for a day and finally met someone who was outside the realm of my mother's influence, perhaps it was natural that I was immediately drawn to something different. Or, perhaps I was more silly than I thought.

Two days after Zeus's feast, I sat weaving baskets in Mother's forest with my old nurse, Cyrus. I wasn't able to concentrate very well on the task at hand; my short conversation with Hades was still running through my mind. I had never before felt that strange sense of connection that had enveloped me as I talked to him. A blush came to my cheeks as I remembered the way he looked at me, and I bent lower over my basket to hide my pink face from Cyrus's sharp eye.

The more I reflected on my brief time with Hades, the more curious I became about the Underworld and - though I tried not to admit it to myself - Hades. There was no one I could ask about him, though. Mother was...well, after the way she had reacted after just seeing me speak to him for a few moments, I didn't dare ask her. I looked over at Cyrus, who was just finishing one up a basket. If anyone knew the answer to my questions it would be her. So, I asked.

"Ah, young mistress," she nervously looked around, "Lady Demeter has forbidden us to speak of the Underworld to you."

"Oh, just tell me a little," I pleaded with her. "I won't ask any more if you just tell me a few of the legends."

She never could refuse me anything. She began to tell me of what she knew: Hades's departure to the Underworld, the fact that no one was allowed to leave, the terrible punishments that Hades gave people who disobeyed him.

"...and the Furies are the worst of all. They would have no sympathy for you, if ever you were to fall into their clutches. I've heard they torture their victims until Death takes them, with Hades watching the entire time, ready to add their souls to his collection."

I listened to it all with rapt attention, shuddering at the rumors that were associated with Hades's cruelty. A shadow fell on us. I looked up to see Mother seething. The goddess Hekate was at her usual place standing behind Mother.

"Cyrus, I recall telling you that such stories are forbidden to repeat to my daughter," she said icily. My nurse's face went white.

"Mother," I said, standing cautiously, "Please don't be angry with Cyrus. I told her that you had allowed me to ask her." I hoped that the lie would spare Cyrus from a beating she didn't deserve.

"She should have known better," Mother said curtly. Cyrus cringed, waiting for the blow. "However, I shall be merciful. You are dismissed, Cyrus."

My nurse scurried off, and Mother started to walk away and Hecate followed.

"Wait, Mother," I called. She slowed slightly and I took that as a sign to proceed. I ran to her side and walked alongside her. "Why can't I know about the Underworld? I was just curious."

She didn't answer me. "What have I told you about running, Kore?"

"I knew, I shouldn't. But you haven't answered me."

Mother stopped dead and levelled a fiery gaze at me.

"I forbid you from talking about it ever again. And if you ever see Hades, you are not to talk to him. Do you understand?"

"No, I don't understand, Mother!" I finally had enough. She spent so much time telling me what to do and never any time listening to what I wanted. "I am not a child anymore. I am old enough to have my own life to have my own home. Surely I am old enough to make my own choices as well? And you still refuse to even acknowledge it!"

Mother didn't react to my outburst, but her jaw clenched. "It's getting dark out, Child. It's time for you to go back to the Villa and get some sleep."

"I don't want to sleep, Mother. I like the night. I've told you so over and over again, but you never allow me outside in it. Why is that?"

"You see that you are indeed still a child. You ask for things and make demands without considering what actually is right for you."

"You always avoid me when I mention things like loving the dark. It's a part of me that I can't deny any longer. Why do you always insist on me burying it?" I recoiled slightly at the whine that had crept into my voice. It didn't matter what more I said; my own voice had proved Mother's point for her.

"Kore," she sharply, "That's enough. I don't want to discuss that with you right now. Young women shouldn't be running around after nightfall. It isn't proper. You will go to the Villa and go to sleep." She took me by the arm and steered me away.

"No!" I jerked out of her grip. I was too furious to care if I seemed like a child. "This is getting ridiculous. You won't let me see anyone, or even talk to anyone. I enjoyed talking to Hades. He, at least, listened to me."

My cheek stung as Mother hit it with a resounding slap! "You will not raise your voice to me, young lady. We are done. Hekate, make sure she returns to the Villa." She walked away.

"Why does she never understand me?" I whispered, staring at the trees into which my mother had disappeared. Even as a child, I had noticed that she felt uncomfortable whenever I acted in a way she didn't like. There were things that I always wanted, feelings inside of me that Mother never understood. In that moment, I realized that there was nothing I wanted more than to become my own person, away from the suffocating influence of my mother.

"Your mother loves you, Kore," Hekate answered my question, "in her own way. It's difficult to know how to show love to someone, when you've never had love shown to you."

"Then why avoid me the way she does? You saw her. She couldn't wait to get away from me."

"Neither would I, if you argued constantly with me the way you do with her," she snorted. "When you're not around, she misses you."

It was my turn to snort. "I doubt it."

Hekate rolled her eyes at me, the type of disrespect that no one beside her would ever dare to show me. However, as the goddess of witchcraft, she had little to fear from either me or my mother. She chose to serve my mother as a friend, rather than as a servant. "I'll prove it."

She walked over to a small pool of water and waved her hand over it.

"Come," she beckoned me. I came and looked into the pool, which now showed my mother. She was speaking to someone.

"I can't hear," I complained.

Hekate shot me an annoyed look, but passed her hand over the pool again, this time murmuring a few words under her breath.

"...time she settled down. Apollo, I trust that you can keep her safe?" Mother was saying to the golden god, Apollo.

"I see all from the sky, so even if something happened to her while I was gone, I could still keep an eye on her." Apollo's voice had a lilting, melodic quality to it. A pleasant voice, but not one that distracted me from what was being said. I stared wide eyed in horror as my fate was sealed before my eyes.

"Good," nodded Mother. "You can marry my daughter in a week-"

"That's enough, Hekate," I commanded tightly. I didn't want to hear anything more. How could Mother do this to me without even asking? "See, she doesn't love me. She wants me in a cage."

"Kore, child, you know that's not true. She cares for your safety."

"Those aren't the same thing!" Furious, traitorous tears were beginning to spill down my face. "She wants me to be locked away forever, whether it's under her thumb or someone else's. I just - I want to be free!"

Hekate reached out to me, perhaps to comfort me, but I knocked her hand aside. I couldn't stand this. I couldn't be locked up for another night, so I ran. I could hear Hekate calling after me, but I just ran all the harder.

I was still sobbing as I burst into a glade, sobbing. I tripped and fell to the ground, too emotionally exhausted to get up.