EDITED 5/30/2020
Thank you to my AO3 readers, you guys are so kind. I got so many comments and messages from you all about my decision to go back and edit the story. I've decided to just continue on, I will be going back once I finish this book and cleaning up the typos and mistakes. If you decide to go back and reread the story, if you stumble upon some typos, feel free to point them out and I will make sure to correct those when I clean the story up a little before starting the sequel.
Magnus was sitting, back pressed against the wall, knees curled up to his chest with his arms wrapped around them. Tears were streaming down his face as he stared out the glass wall of the cell. He could still hear Alec screaming. The agony in his voice as the cry was ripped from his lungs made Magnus' heart break. Magnus whimpered at a particularly agonized scream. "Alexander." He sobbed.
Alec screamed for what seemed like hours before everything went silent. Alec's scream cut off in the middle of it. Magnus breathed heavily in the silence, terrified of what it meant, but telling himself that the Nephilim wouldn't dare kill one of their own. He sat there forever before he spotted Isabelle walking backwards into his view, her hands were clutching some sort of sticks, his eyes narrowed in confusion as he pushed himself to his feet, wobbling slightly.
And then his jaw dropped in horror as the stretcher came into view, Alec's lifeless body was being carried in-between his sisters who had expressionless looks on their faces.
Alec was shirtless, his skin pale as his chest was slick with his own blood. The blood was dripping off of the stretcher and making a trail along the concrete ground. His face was slack, and his hazel eyes were still open, unseeing yet staring straight into Magnus' soul. Clary and Isabelle bent at the knees and set the stretcher down a few feet away from the glass of Magnus' cell. They pushed Alec's body off of the stretcher so that his body was just lying on the cold, hard ground and then they left, taking the stretcher with them.
Magnus' chest was heaving with the force of his breath leaving his lungs, he was panicking, and he knew it. He also did not care. He flew forwards, his body making impact with the glass. He was screaming, crying, sobbing, beating against the glass. "Let me out. Let me out! Alexander! No, Alec! Please."
He was clawing at glass, frantically. His eyes never left Alec's unseeing ones.
"You let this happen." Isabelle was standing behind him in the cell.
"What do you mean?" Magnus asked, breathlessly as he fell to his knees, hands and forehead pressed against the glass, tears still falling steadily.
"He's dead because of you. Don't you see?" She asked. "If you had just left well enough alone, he'd be married to Lydia, safe and alive. This is your fault. He gave his life to save you."
"Why are you saying these things?" Magnus asked her. "I never asked him to do this."
"That's exactly what you did." Isabelle sneered. "You begged him to believe you, you begged him to help. He never would have submitted himself for torture if you hadn't done that."
Magnus shook his head. "No." He protested weakly.
"You killed him. You murdered him."
Magnus lurched up in bed, sheets tangled around him, throwing the arm wrapped around his waist off of him. The body next to him stirred and sat up as well as Magnus' chest heaved, and his eyes burned with tears.
"Magn's?" Alec slurred, his hand tugging on Magnus' arm.
"Sorry for waking you darling." Magnus patted Alec's hand. "Go back to sleep."
"What's wrong?" Alec asked him. "You're crying."
Magnus wiped furiously at his eyes, turning his face away from his husband. "I'm perfectly fine, Alexander." He lied through his teeth. "Go back to sleep, my darling."
"Magnus." Alec sounded wide awake now. He took Magnus by the shoulder and pushed him back until he was lying down in bed again. Magnus heard Alec's fingers click and suddenly there was a night light hovering in the air, not unlike the one Magnus had taught Madzie to make. Alec moved to hover over his husband and Magnus was positive that he could now see the tears on his cheeks. "You're forgetting that I've known you longer than almost anyone. You're upset, tell me what's wrong."
Magnus hesitated and then placed a hand on the back of Alec's neck, he pulled him down to join their mouths. Alec indulged him for a moment, letting Magnus kiss him slow and sensual. It was obvious that Magnus was trying to start something to distract him. Alec pulled back, breathing kind of heavily, he fixed Magnus with a look that told him he knew exactly what he was doing.
"As nice as that was," Alec raised an eyebrow. "I'd actually like to talk to you."
"I had a nightmare, that's all." Magnus told him.
"What was it about?" Alec asked him quietly, lowering himself until he was pressed against Magnus, his head resting against his shoulder, nose pressed against his neck. Magnus' arms seemed to instinctively wrap around Alec, pulling him impossibly closer.
"You." Magnus whispered, tilting his head so that his jaw was pressed against Alec's temple. Alec stayed silent, waiting for Magnus to elaborate. He knew there were quite a few possibilities of what the dream could be about. Him hurt, as he had been a multitude of times before. It could have been him rejecting Magnus at the wedding, marrying Lydia. Him on the ledge of Magnus' roof. Any of his past lives. The arrow that nearly killed him, the coma, the shard of glass, ritual gone wrong, Jonathan nearly killing him, the Shadowhunter killer, Valentine slitting his throat like he did Simon's. The possibilities were endless. "Your screams when you took my place."
Alec hadn't thought of that one. He was stunned into silence. Out of all the things that Magnus could have been tortured by in his dreams, it was that.
"Except, instead of you coming to my cell alive, Clary and Isabelle bring you on a stretcher. They just leave your body on the ground, like you were nothing. You're dead." His voice caught on the last word, tears slipping down his cheeks. "And I can't get out of my cell, I can't get to you, they won't let me go to you. Then Isabelle came up behind me, she told me how it was all my fault, you were dead, and it was my fault."
"Hey." Alec said quietly, grabbing one of Magnus' hands from his back and pulling it to his bare chest. He placed Magnus' palm flat against his chest, right over his heart. "Do you feel that?"
Magnus nodded against Alec's head while he desperately tried to suppress his sobs, but little whimpers still escaped his lips.
"I'm alive. Feel my heartbeat under your hand. My breath against your neck. I'm alive, Magnus. I'm here, with you. We're in bed together in our loft in Brooklyn. We aren't down in the cells at the Institute. That was almost three months ago, remember?"
Magnus nodded again.
"We're home, with Clary, Wesley, Madzie and Raphael. We're home and we're safe and we're alive. Okay?"
Magnus nodded.
"Do you want to go back to sleep, it's..." He reached over and grabbed his phone off the bedside table. "Two Thirty-Four."
Magnus shook his head.
"Do you want to go check on the kids? See for yourself that everything is okay?"
Magnus nodded. "Please."
Alec got up, nudging Magnus' arms off of him. Magnus followed suit as Alec grabbed a shirt off of the back of the little couch in their room. He slipped it on and turned to find Magnus watching him, a sad look on his face.
"C'mon." Alec reached a hand out to Magnus who took it and led him out of the room. They went to Raphael's room first, Alec slowly opened the door, peeking his head inside and was surprised to find his son sitting up against the headboard of his bed, reading a book.
Raphael looked up as the door creaked and shot Alec an unimpressed look. "Is this seriously what we do now?" Raphael asked.
"I'm just checking on you." Alec replied, defensively.
Raphael rolled his eyes and Alec moved so that Magnus could peek in. Satisfied that their son was okay, they closed the door and moved on to Madzie's room. The little girl was bundled up in the middle of the bed, fast asleep and clearly breathing.
Lastly, they checked on Clary. Her and Wesley were cuddled together in her bed, Clary sound asleep, tucked up against Wesley's side, their hands joined on his stomach, her head on his chest.
"See, Magnus?" Alec whispered, closing Clary's door. "Everyone is safe."
"I can't get it out of my head." Magnus whispered back. "That day, you screaming, the way I felt. I don't think I'll ever forget it."
"Magnus." Alec turned to him, his hands gripping his soulmate's shoulders. "I'm okay, I'm fine."
"Are you?" Magnus demanded. "Are you really, because I don't understand how you can be."
"What do you mean?" Alec dropped his hands to his sides, taking a half a step away from his husband, looking at him in open and honest confusion.
Magnus looked at him incredulously. "Alexander, you were tortured!" He whisper shouted, taking his husband by the wrist and pulling him into the dark living room. Alec waved a hand, turning the lights on so that the two men could see each other. "
Magnus took a breath and steadied himself before continuing, his voice and tone softer, gentler. "Your own people tortured you, for no reason. You had done nothing wrong. You were tortured for hours, you screamed until your voice had gone hoarse and your throat raw. I sat there in my cell and I had to listen, helpless, as the love of my life, my soulmate was tortured. It has been two months; you still haven't talked about it and I am plagued by the memory nearly every night. I'm done, I'm done just sitting here and not talking about it."
Alec's chin had tipped down to the ground while Magnus had spoken to him. He was shaking his head, it was barely noticeable, Magnus wasn't sure if Alec even knew that he was doing it.
Alec took a deep breath and looked back up at Magnus, his eyes were red-rimmed, and tears were building up. His lips were firmly pressed together in an attempt to keep them from trembling. "I've already told you; I don't regret doing it. I'll never regret it." His voice was wobbling and thick with tears. "Even before I knew what we were, even before I had all my memories, I knew how much I love you, I knew that I couldn't just stand by and allow you to be hurt, to be tortured."
"And how did you think I felt?" Magnus asked him, gesturing at himself. "I don't want you to be hurt. I don't want to do anything, or for you to do anything that could take you from me! Not again!"
"Magnus," Alec sighed, shaking his head. "I could be killed walking down the street, or driving in a car, I could die from eating something and choking on it. Anything could take me from you, anything. I could be struck by lightning, but I cannot stop living my life just because we are afraid. You don't think I get scared every time you join a mission or summon a particularly nasty demon? We love each other, we are soulmates, of course we get scared for each other! It's only natural, but you should know by now that I am always going to come back to you."
"I can't lose you again." Magnus whispered. "I won't survive it."
"You can't talk like that Magnus, please." Alec said quietly, his lips pulling into a frown. "If anything happens to me, our children will need you. Raphael, Clary and Madzie. They'll need their papa. They can't lose both of their parents, I'll come back, Magnus. You won't."
Magnus closed his eyes and moved forward to lean his forehead against Alec's chest. He took a deep breath, breathing in Alec's scent. His soulmate's smell always calmed him, it grounded him. Magnus moved his hands up to grip Alec's biceps and in turn the man gripped Magnus' elbows, moving him to the couch. Alec took a seat and pulled Magnus into his lap.
"Everything is going to be okay." Alec whispered.
Alec woke up to the sensation of someone poking him right between his eyebrows. He furrowed his brow, hummed and opened his eyes.
"Seriously?" He whined as he noticed his son standing in front of him with his trademark unimpressed expression gracing his features.
"It's morning." Raphael told him. "Clary and Wesley are gone. Madzie is getting dressed. You slept on the couch."
"What do you mean Clary and Wesley are gone?" Alec asked, moving his arm to place his hand on Magnus' back. At some point during the night they had shifted to lay down on the couch, Magnus draped unceremoniously over Alec; his face buried in the crook of his neck, one arm around his neck and his other hand clutching one of Alec's in his own.
"I mean they left." Raphael raised an eyebrow.
"To where?"
"Luke called Clary from jail." Raphael answered, looking irritated. "He said something that apparently upset her, and they went to go talk to him."
"Of course, they did." Alec sighed, placing an arm over his eyes.
"I thought I told you not to come here." Luke said to Clary after the detective left the interrogation room.
Her and Wesley were standing, arms crossed against the wall.
"And let you end up in prison before we get the chance to talk?" Clary asked him.
"If I take the fall for this, the investigation ends with me. The police keep looking around, there's no telling how many lives will be in danger."
"That's not what I'm here for." Clary told him dismissively. "Go ahead, take the fall. I don't care anymore. You're not my father. You never have been, and you never will be. Magnus Bane is my father. You don't get to call me from jail, acting all sad and like a loving father. You used to forget me at school, yell at me if I got a little bit of crayon on your coffee table. So never tell me that you love me, ever again."
Luke sat back in his chair slowly. "You remember?"
Clary nodded sharply. "Well, then. I guess this is goodbye."
"Yeah. It is." Clary told him.
"Yo, Lightwood!" Aline shouted across the ops center.
Alec turned, tablet in hand and smiled. "Hey, Aline!" He walked towards her. "And it's Lightwood-Bane. It's good to see you."
Aline wrapped her arms around him for a brief second before stepping back. "What are you doing in New York?" Alec asked her.
"Hunting Jonathan." She answered.
"So are we. We'll get him." Alec gestured with his tablet, smile slipping from his face.
"Well, according to the field reports, you almost captured him yesterday." Aline mentioned.
Alec looked around with a frown. "Yeah almost."
"If it wasn't for the no-kill order you would have stopped him once and for all."
Alec looked to the side before fixing her with an unreadable look. "It's not just an order. We hurt him, we hurt Clary."
"I understand." Aline said sincerely. "But we have no hope of defeating that bastard if we have to keep treating him with kid gloves."
"We don't have a choice."
"That's not true." Aline shook her head. "After what he did to my cousin . . . "
"Look, maybe I should rephrase that." Alec interrupted. "You will not do anything that puts Clary Lightwood at risk. If you or anyone else does, you will have to deal with me and my husband."
"Then what do you suggest we do? How many more Shadowhunters have to die trying to capture him? How many lives is Clary worth?"
"To me? She's worth everything." Alec told her. "She's my family."
"Fine." Aline said stiffly. "I'll play nice."
She walked off and when she entered the training room an hour later Clary was wailing away on a punching bag.
"Need a sparring partner?" Aline asked lightheartedly.
Clary turned to see Aline wielding a large blade over her shoulder.
"Sure." Clary replied after a beat of silence. She stepped away from the bag and grabbed two daggers from the rack. "You're Consul Penhallow's daughter?"
"Aline." She confirmed. "You're the Head of the Institute's sister?"
"Clary."
Aline smiled. "It's nice to finally meet you." She struck out with her sword; Clary blocked it with one of her daggers.
"I'm guessing you didn't come all the way from Alicante just to train." Clary laughed humorlessly.
"I heard your brother was in New York."
"Jonathan is not my brother. Not anymore." They were standing across from each other stiffly.
Aline lunged forward, slicing through the air with her sword. Clary blocked again and again when she swung once more.
"Shame." Aline said. "I was hoping you might help me track him down."
"If I knew where he was, I'd be out there tracking him down myself. I already told the Clave everything I know." Clary told her.
They swung their blades again. "I read in the report you were looking for a sword? Called the Morning Star." She elbowed Clary in the stomach, hard. That was going to bruise.
"Yeah, he calls it a family relic." She answered, breathlessly. "He somehow has it in that twisted head of his that I'm going to help him find it."
Clary was on a knee, Aline standing before her. Their blades were at the ready. "Are you?" Aline asked.
"Am I what?"
"Going to help him?" Aline struck out again.
"No!" Clary answered.
Aline knocked one of Clary's daggers out of her hand. "But you did let him buy you a bottle of water."
Clary knocked Aline's sword out of her hand and Aline struck her in the stomach once more.
"Is it really that hard to recognize your own brother?"
"I was stalling for back up." She went after the girl again.
"Except when they got there, he escaped."
Clary dropped the dagger and advanced on Aline. Aline swung out with her fist, connecting with Clary's face. They exchanged several punches, Clary lifted her leg to kick Aline in the side, Aline grabbed her leg and threw her several feet making her fall to the floor.
Aline followed Clary and moved to straddle her. "Did that hurt?" She asked, looking down at the girl underneath her. "Good. I want Jonathan to feel it." She then drew her arm back and started to hit Clary in the face full force. Clary was crying out with every punch, she felt it when her nose and lip began to bleed, and her eye was aching so bad that she couldn't keep it open.
"Hey!" Jem ran into the training room. "Hey, stop!" He grabbed Aline's fist as it was going back for another punch and then took her across the front of her shoulders and pulled her several feet away from the girl bleeding on the floor. "What are you doing?" He demanded.
Clary lifted her head from the floor only to groan and lay back down.
"I'm sorry, Clary. I'm so sorry." Aline said, bringing her hand to her mouth in shock. She ran from the room, passing Alec who had been entering the room.
Alec turned to watch the girl leave before looking back at Jem who was moving to Clary's side.
"What happened?" Alec rushed over to the two of them.
"Aline wanted Jonathan to feel it." Clary said, bringing a shaking hand up to her face, touching her nose gingerly before hissing in pain and jerking it away.
She felt Alec take her face in his hands, he turned it to the left and then the right, examining it. He placed his left hand on the back of her neck, holding her up so that he could slip his right arm under her shoulders. Once she was propped up with his arm, he slipped his left arm under her knees. He picked her up with ease, cradling her to his chest.
"I'll take care of it. Okay?" He murmured to her.
Clary didn't respond, choosing to lean her head against his shoulder and let him carry her to his office. Once they were in the privacy of his office, he laid her down across his couch and knelt next to her. He raised a hand and let his magic flow in between his fingers. Slowly, he dragged his hand through the air in front of her face and she felt the blood and the stinging pain disappear.
"Please don't get her in trouble." Clary whispered as he dropped his hand to the side of her face.
"She just beat the crap out of my daughter. Of course, I'm going to get her in trouble." Alec told her, standing up and going over to his desk. Clary sat up and watched him as he plucked his cellphone up off of the desk.
"What are you doing?" She asked, standing up and walking over to him.
"Calling your Papa." He started tapping at the screen on his phone.
"No, don't!" She swiped out with her hand trying to grab his phone. He moved it away from her and continued to tap. "Y'know you aren't my dad until tomorrow, so you don't have to act like an overprotective father right now."
Alec raised the phone to his ear and gave her his signature exasperated look and eye roll.
"Magnus, hey." Alec plopped down in his chair. "I'm fine, I'm actually calling about Clary . . . She's fine now. She was sparring with Aline and she beat her up pretty bad. I healed her but I thought I'd let you know. Co-parenting and all." He smirked at Clary who was glaring at him. "Okay, I'll see you later. Love you too."
Alec hung up and placed his phone back on his desk. "I will be letting Jia know what Aline did. She will be punished; I would have done the same thing if she had done it to anyone. It is not special treatment. Why don't you go home?"
"We need to talk to Izzy, Maryse and Robert today. We're doing the spell tomorrow."
"I'm going to take care of it." Alec shook his head. "Go home. You've had enough for today."
"Dad." Clary whined.
"I'm not your dad yet." Alec reminded her pointedly, referencing her earlier statement. "Remember. Go home Clary."
Clary frowned, feeling guilty for what she had said. She moved forward and wrapped her arms around Alec's neck, settling in his lap. He immediately wrapped his arms around her and allowed her to lean against his chest. "You are my Dad." She told him quietly. "I'm sorry I said that, I just don't want Aline to get in trouble because of me. I love you, Dad."
"I love you, too. But Aline is going to get in trouble, I know that isn't what you want, but as your Father and as your Head of the Institute it is my job to keep you safe. Aline hurt you under my roof, I'm in charge here and she believed that it was okay to do so. She needs to learn that it isn't okay and that there will be consequences."
"She was sorry." Clary defended. "Once she realized what she had done, she was sorry."
"You mean after she got caught." Alec corrected. "Aline was angry, Jonathan killed her cousin. She wanted him to be punished. However, twisted, Jonathan cares for you in his own way. Hurting you would hurt him. Physically and emotionally. She didn't regret causing that, she regretted the fact that she was reckless and that she got caught."
Clary just sat there. She knew that her Dad was right, Aline wanted to hurt her and Jonathan both. "Fine." Clary murmured. "I'll go home."
Alec helped her stand and he waved a hand, creating a portal for her to walk through. "I'll talk to Izzy and my parents okay. You just go home and rest. I'll take care of everything."
Clary nodded and walked through the portal. Alec closed it and picked up his phone. It was going to be a long day.