this hasn't been easy at all. i've been so demotivated that i've considered giving this up completely.

thank you to everyone who has commented and really kept me going. here's ch9. i hope it's to your liking.

please review and happy reading xx - belle

The hospital is fast becoming my least favourite place. Whether Jay knows it or not, the memory of almost losing him is still a fresh wound for me, something – I realise – I haven't made time to deal with or process properly.

Being back here isn't quite helping, but instead, is making me feel worse. And tense.

I sit on the chairs in the waiting room, a takeaway cup of coffee in hand. It feels like we've been here hours, but in reality, it's really only been twenty minutes since we brought Jay in. Dr. Natalie Manning had immediately assured me that Jay was in safe hands, and I know that's true. She will do everything she can to save him.

"Hailey, he's going to be okay," Vanessa assures me, putting a hand on my shoulder.

I'm sitting forward, with my elbows resting on my knees and my hands wrapped around the takeaway coffee carton. "I don't know why I tried to hide it," I mumble but I know she can hear me. "I wanted to protect him from more hurt but instead, I ended up hurting him anyway. I won't be able to bear it if he doesn't make it, Vanessa."

"Look, I might still be very new to the unit. But I've been told many stories, Hailey. And apparently, there's been way too many times to count where you two have acted like a married couple. And each and every time, you've been good. And I believe that this time is no different. Sure, you were wrong to hide crucial information from him, but I think he would've done the same had the roles been reversed. Because, just like you, his first instinct would be to protect you from anything that could hurt you. I think he understands that."

"I never wanted to be the kind of couple who do that. But it was an instinctive reaction when I saw how badly he was already hurting from just the knowledge that his ex-girlfriend was cold-bloodedly shot to death. Knowing she'd been violated before her death, and had tried to reach out to him to inform him, just would have wounded him more."

Vanessa gives me a soft, sad and understanding smile. "I know, and I'm sure he knows too, that you meant well. But in the end, he's a grown man. He's a war vet and a cop. He can handle it. Just like you would have been able to handle it if the roles had been reversed."

Her words hit me. She's right. It was never for me to decide what Jay can, or can't, handle. I might have my opinion or my concerns, but in the end, he's a grown up. He also happens to be one of the strongest men I know, maybe second only to my brother.

As if on cue, my phone buzzes to life. I see a message from my brother.

Jack: Hey Hails. Just checking in as usual. The kids want to know how their favourite aunt is doing.

Me: Sorry, I know I've been lax with our daily texts. Just at the hospital right now.

Only after pressing the send button do I realise how that message will worry my protective older brother.

I'm right because the next thing I know, my phone is vibrating and I see my brother's goofy face light my screen up. It will just worry him more if I ignore the call so I choose to answer it.

"What the hell do you mean you're at the hospital?" Jack explodes and I detect the worry for me in his voice.

"Relax, Jack. I'm at the hospital but it's not for me...My partner, he was attacked." I can't help the slight crack the sounds in my voice.

I hear Jack's relieved sigh over the phone. "I'm sorry about your partner, Hails. What happened?"

"That's what we need to find out," I confess.

"You okay?"

"I'm – I'm fine," I lie.

"Don't lie to me, little sis. I know you too well."

I close my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose. "Jack. He's not just my partner...He's also my boyfriend."

"Finally! You admitted you love him!" I hear Jack's wife, Megan, yells gleefully. "Looks like you owe me 10 bucks, babe."

Jack groans and I laugh. "Wait. Did you two really just bet on the fact that I'd fall in love with my partner?" I pretend to sound shocked and offended.

"Hell yes we did!" Megan admits shamelessly. "And you just won me 10 bucks, Hailey. I love you!"

I let out a laugh again. "Well, then I'm glad it's you who won, Megan."

"We women gotta stick together, you know!"

"Amen to that."

"Well, if you two ladies are done ganging up on me...," Jack trails off.

"It's okay, big brother. One day you'll realise, there's no way you'll ever win against me and Megan."

Jack chuckles. "I think I already learnt that lesson a long time ago, Hails."

I laugh heartily. It hits me then that I'm so grateful to my brother for momentarily taking my mind off my worry. It doesn't matter if he did it on purpose or not. What matters is that he succeeded and made me laugh.

"Jack? Thank you. I didn't realise how much I really needed this," I confess softly.

"You know I'm always here for you, little sis," Jack replies warmly.

"And I'm always here for you, big brother." I see Natalie Manning enter the waiting room and immediately recognise she's got news. "Jack, I gotta go now. There's an update on Jay."

"Alright. Keep me updated."

"Will do. Love you."

"Love you too!"

I hang up and hurriedly get to my feet, making my way to Natalie.

"How's Jay?" I blurt out worriedly.

"He's sustained quite a few injuries, though none that are life-threatening, thankfully. He's got bruises on his ribs, back and abdomen. He's got a head injury, which could potentially be a concussion, but that we can only find out after he wakes up. Lastly, he was apparently stabbed in abdomen, but miraculously no major organs were hit and he had no internal bleeding. He's unconscious right now," Dr. Manning states.

My heart drops when I hear that he'd been stabbed. Stabbed. Despite the fact that my resolve is crumbling, I keep myself together and nod a thanks at Natalie. This is Booth. Jay almost died because of Booth.

I feel Natalie touch my arm. "Hailey, Jay's as stubborn as Halsteads come. He'll pull through," she assures me gently. I notice her smile is sad.

I suddenly remember Will. "I'm sorry," I whisper to her. "But we will work all day and all night to find Will and get him back to you alive. I promise, Nat."

"I-I appreciate that, Hailey," Natalie nods gratefully. "Come on. You can see him."

She leads me to his room before she leaves me with an unconscious Jay.

I take a seat beside his bed, wrapping my hands around his. Tears glisten in my eyes as I whisper, "Oh Jay, what the hell happened to you?"

Of course he doesn't answer, seeing as he's out cold. I grip his hand tighter, allowing his warmth to radiate throughout me. "I promise, whoever did this to you and kidnapped Will, they've got hell to pay."

But in my mind, one name resonates: Booth. Ronald Booth did this. I'm sure of it.