I do not own anything besides these words and the cover art.
"Witch, why are we in this burned old building?"
Nami swayed as she sidestepped broken glass and crumbled brick. "We're here to get you ripped."
He watched her in her heeled wedge sneakers and tiny shorts and wondered why she thought an outfit like that was appropriate in a clearly dangerous environment.
"Ah!" She winced as she turned to out-maneuver a drop of dirty water.
He caught her hand swiftly and held her before her body touched the cracked cement and dust floor.
He looked down at her, her perfectly manicured hand soft in his own.
"How romantic", a deep and humorless voice said high over their heads.
Zoro wanted to throw her down from his own awkwardness, but Nami giggled as she pulled herself up and grabbed a handful of his shirt.
"Mihawk! I've brought you a present", she shouted into the ceiling, but before she could take another step forward, she whimpered and turned to Zoro, "Carry me."
"Carry you? The hell you think I'm here for?" Zoro was exasperated at her casual tone as if carrying her was his one purpose in life.
Nami poked his cheek and twisted her nail into his hard jaw as she spoke, "Zoro, I sprained my ankle. You have to carry me. What? Can't handle a little piggyback? Thought you were tough."
"I don't have to do shit. I'm not your freaking servant." Zoro bickered in the middle of a decrepit house until a shuffle behind him startled him to grip Nami in surprise.
The golden-eyed man did not smile but gave them both a quick look over. His hands were in his tailored pants that looked too rich and fine to be where they were. His raven-colored hair and finely shaped mustache gave his European features an added air of wealth. Mihawk finally spoke, low and slowly, "This him?"
Zoro was taken aback at the familiarity, but Nami spoke to Mihawk as if Zoro was not standing right there.
"Yup, this is him. What do you think? My "hidden eyes" can tell apart the fakers, right?"
Zoro tried to zone into the secret code they seemed to use but to no avail.
Mihawk eyed Zoro as if he was a piece of furniture on sale. "I've seen better in back alley brawls. You should get your eyes checked, Nami."
Zoro threw a punch but Mihawk moved like a blade with precision. The force Zoro used caused him to fly towards the ground, but Mihawk swiftly gripped Nami out of Zoro's arms.
"Idiot. I almost fell with you!" She cried as she gripped Mihawk's chest and Zoro angrily picked himself off the ground.
Mihawk turned to Nami and spoke, "You should put him on a leash."
"Oh, I'm sure Zoro wouldn't mind those kinds of games", Nami said sweetly, "but he needs a trainer." She played with the man's shirt collar and fingered the chain at his neck. Mihawk paid her no mind while Zoro refused any insinuations Nami implied.
"So what do you want from me? A lesson? You know I don't do that anymore."
Nami pouted, "You owe me, Mihawk. Or should I ask Boa instead?"
Mihawk peered at Nami with his forceful stare, and Zoro felt odd as if he violated some secret space.
"Oi! You two want to tell me what's going on here?'
Nami broke the stare and stuck her tongue out at Zoro, "You jealous?"
"Hardly", he said with a scoff, "I just want to know when I get to start earning all that money you were boasting about. If it means proving this fancy dude wrong, I'll do it at any price. And as for you, Nami, you're nothing…just a means to an end."
Nami simply shrugged as Mihawk looked from Zoro to her. Finally, Mihawk released Nami and nodded her towards Zoro. She obliged and came to stand before Zoro as if she was gifted to Zoro. Zoro scowled at the thought.
"Carry her," Mihawk said it frankly and brought his hands back into his pant pockets.
"What?" Zoro was dumbfounded at the logic, being bossed around by first Nami and now her weird man-friend. Zoro busied himself with the possibilities of how they knew each other and how well.
"Carry her...and run 10 laps around this whole building." Mihawk did not falter, and Zoro returned his attention back to the task.
"Are you kidding me? That's ridiculous." He defied the next dictator in his life.
"Are you saying you can't carry me? Are you calling me fat?" Nami chirped in his ear as she stood on the tips of her toes, even with her "injury". Zoro was more and more convinced that she faked the whole thing. She frowned and put her hands on her hips.
He shrugged, "No. I just think this is ridiculous."
Nami held his shoulders to get steady as she winced at the force she put on her foot. "Do you want that money or not?"
"Yes but-"
"You're gonna let this guy think you're weak?" She thumbed towards Mihawk who gave Zoro a smug smile.
"No, but-"
"Listen, you don't have to bridal carry me but either you work hard or you leave...I don't have time to waste with fakers." She spoke resolutely as eyes traced the face Zoro made.
Zoro grit his teeth but lowered himself, "Fine, fine. Just get on my back and let's go."
Nami beamed, "See, Zoro, that wasn't so hard."
As she straddled him, he gripped her bare thighs and she pushed into him. "If I knew you were so willing to hold me so close, I would have twisted my ankle a long time ago."
Zoro grunted and jostled her as he rose, "Shut up. And just hold on."
He began jogging and she bobbed behind him.
"Smoother," Mihawk said.
Zoro slowed down.
"No. Keep your body level but still sprint. Steady yourself, feel the pressure ride down your spine."
"Yeah, Zoro...I feel like I'm on top of a busted washing machine."
Zoro gripped her firmly and she yelped. "I'll drop you."
"If you can't do it, I-"
Zoro grumbled and tried to steady his movements while running. He cursed her in his mind and thought that she knew him too well...and yet, he continued to hold her as if she was something precious. Mihawk watched them, bickering as they continued to listen to him, and imagined Boa was just as amused from her perch. He glanced up the busted staircase and softened his gaze. He wondered if she'd come back from that room and smile at him instead of her usually downcast eyes. As the sun moved across the sky, Mihawk turned his attention back to the running couple as Zoro finished his last lap.
"Okay, I want to see him fight now."
Zoro stopped running and practically threw Nami off his back. As she mumbled profanity, Mihawk nodded towards the staircase, and Nami understood. She'd certainly pay the Amazonian queen a visit if it meant being away from a certain green-haired annoyance.
"And don't come crying to me when you're a pool of sweat and blood because you can't handle Mihawk!" she shouted and waved him away, while Zoro fumed to think of a quick comeback between exhales and stretching his back out.
However, Mihawk quickly stopped that opportunity as he threw punch after punch at Zoro, who tried to dodge as quickly as possible but it was like fighting a cyclone. Nami looked over her shoulder and smiled. She noted to herself that Mihawk had managed to unbutton his usually prim and proper self and get real. She turned her attention to his better half as the two continued to fight below.
Zoro watched her go but had to turn back as a fist made an impact with his jaw and smacked him down.
"You better focus on yourself rather than the girl. She's not the one in the ring." Mihawk hung his jacket on the banister and rolled up his sleeves, showing off his built, lean arms along with the simple gold chains and jeweled rings lining his knuckles.
Zoro spat out some blood and wiped his mouth, "Don't worry, I'll show you what I can do just fine."
"Oh, really? And what made you want to take up Nami's cause?"
Zoro threw a punch and another, as Mihawk weaved and dodged. He grunted as he responded, "If it's no fun, I have no interest. Nothing."
"All this for some fun with a girl you don't even know?" Mihawk waited until Zoro had thrown his body into the punch full force. Then he used his leg and kicked Zoro back. It caused Zoro to exhale forcefully as all the air in his lungs escaped him, and he fell back on the floor a yard away.
Zoro coughed, "I'm not with her. I told you…we've got a goal."
Mihawk walked over and extended a hand, "You going to be the greatest fighter?"
Zoro chuckled, "What, old man? You worried I'll beat you? If your spot goes missing…I guess I'm the culprit, huh?"
Mihawk rubbed his hands together, wiping some of Zoro's blood off them, "You trust her with so little information?"
Zoro dropped his fists and raised an eyebrow, "Why do I need to trust her?"
Instead of a reply, Mihawk decked him in the jaw and Zoro watched the crumbling ceiling until the floor came into view. Once again, Nami managed to knock him down and whether it was indirectly or directly, he was ready to rage.
Music Inspiration/Theme: "MTBD vs I'm Him" (J2J Mashup)