Chapter 18

Persephone

Strange dreams had haunted me my entire life. Often, the dreams were inconsequential. At other times however, the dreams bore a disturbing likeness to current or future events. I had learned to listen to those dreams.

I woke up from another dream. I dreamed something strange almost every night I was down in the Underworld. I could not say what caused the phenomenon, but I found myself confused by it.

This dream had been about my mother and the land above. My mother and I walked arm in arm in the woods. We talked and laughed as we never did in reality. She tucked a flower in my hair, but a sudden wind had pulled it from its place. I had ran off after the flower, still laughing as I went. Suddenly the sky became overcast and thunder shattered the peaceful air. In front of me, the ground had opened up. Hades appeared, his black eyes a cold abyss that made me shiver as they fell upon me. I had tried to run from him, but the god was too fast. I was his captive.

I awoke still shivering. I expected to still hear the distant sound of thunder and the pattering of rain like I might have back home, but only an unnerving quietude greeted me. That was worse.

I lay awake, trying to puzzle out the meaning of the dream. I was fairly certain that it wasn't some vision of the future. Perhaps it had a less literal meaning than I was used to. I considered what had happened in reality. It was - I had to admit - a more complicated situation than perhaps I was making it out to be. My life with my mother hadn't been close to perfect. Hades, on the other hand, wasn't wholly as bad as I wanted to believe him. Perhaps the dream had been the version of events I was choosing to believe, rather than the events that actually occurred. I dismissed the thought.

Some part of me admitted that I was just being too stubborn to tell myself the truth.

My thoughts turned from my dream to Hades. Though it had been several days since the incident with the Furies, I still wasn't myself yet. Despite my earlier resolve to force myself to be stronger, I was unsure about what I wanted. Should I do my best to avoid Hades again? Should I talk to him? The dynamic of whatever sort of relationship that we had had shifted perceptively, though I didn't know exactly how.

Even though I was unsure of the time of day that it was, I wrapped a robe around myself. I followed my feet on whatever path they decided to lead me.

And of course, they had to lead me right into Hades.

Hades stood as stiff as a statue, almost blending in with the still stone surrounding him. With a suppressed sigh of frustration, I backed up towards the door. And promptly lost my footing and slipped.

That got Hades's attention, of course, and he turned towards me with a surprised start.

"Persephone. I thought you were sleeping."

"I was," I said with a furious blush, "but I had a bad dream."

"So you came to find me?"

I was beginning to know Hades well enough that I could recognize the hope in his voice, slight as it was.

"No," I said quickly. Too quickly. "I wanted to clear my head."

"Ah. And how are you feeling? I hope - I hope you are recovered. That is, I hope you are feeling better than before. You've seemed not yourself these past weeks. Or at least-you seem very tired," he finished lamely.

"Yes, I have been tired, thanks to you," I stated drily.

"Thanks to me? I don't remember forcing you to do anything very difficult."

I stared at him. Surely he couldn't be ignorant about the reason for my extreme exhaustion?

Hades caught my stare and gave an exasperated sigh. "Do you care to explain yourself, or are you just going to continue enjoying being mysterious?"

He was annoyed at me. It was a surprising change of pace in his behavior towards me. Surprisingly, I didn't find the change unwelcome. Annoyance was something that I understood, that I could deal with. His constant attention to me, frankly, was confusing. I found myself feeling almost grateful for the familiarity. Grateful enough that I dropped my hostility slightly. Besides, I wanted answers.

"Hades, the first day you brought me here, I unleashed more power at you than I have ever released in my life," I began. I looked down at my feet, instead of at Hades's half shadowed face. "I fully admit my ignorance with god power, but I think...I think that you hurt me somehow when you killed my plants."

Hades was silent.

"I felt weak immediately afterwards, and that weakness has continued on. I want to know if-or rather, what happened." I looked up at Hades now, wondering what he was thinking. I was amazed at my own honesty. It left me feeling decidedly odd. I had almost asked if he had done it on purpose, but balked at the last moment.

"I know what happened, Persephone," Hades at last conceded. My interest piqued, I regarded him attentively. "But...I'll not tell you. You would only hate me more than you do already. No, more than that. You would look on me with the same horror and disgust that all Olympians already do. Did you ever wonder why I'm treated with such revulsion?"

I realized that he expected me to answer. "Well, I-I assumed that it was because you were the Lord of the Underworld."

He laughed mirthlessly. "Why should that bother them? They're secure in their immortality, are they not?"

"I suppose so."

Hades shook his head at me, all traces of his mocking smile gone. "No, they're not. To them, I am a constant reminder that true immortality is an illusion. I represent the only threat to their godhood and power. They hate me because they fear me."

I didn't know what to say at this cryptic remark. My own ignorance and the uneasy silence that was at the edge of the Olympian brilliance was abruptly to my attention. There was always some dark secret about Hades that went completely unspoken. Only the older gods and deity knew what it entailed, while the young were forced to accept vague and empty explanations.

"Why do they fear you?" I asked after a silence.

Hades fixed me with his shadowed, haunted gaze. I got the uncomfortable sensation of having my soul laid bare. "You are my wife, Persephone. You look at me with hate and anger, but not fear. Not yet. I want it to remain like that for a while longer. Perhaps someday, when you learn to trust me and you know me better, I'll tell you. For now, there are things that I can't say. Now, if you will excuse me, I have an appointment. It might take a while, so you may not see me for a day or two."

With this abrupt excuse, Hades turned and walked away. He didn't go towards the palace, but off somewhere else. To his "appointment," I presumed. He had seemed so grim when he mentioned it.

When I was back in my room and finally drifting back to sleep, the last thought I remember passing through my head was a wish that I could return to a simpler time in my life. A time when I was shown the beauty in darkness for the first time by someone I was growing to care about.