I do not own anything besides these words and the cover art.

"I know you don't have an address but perhaps he has friends here-"

"Listen. I'm sure you're his dream girl and this is real love, but you know what they say about him? He's a goddamn problem. Excuse my French, but most people stay away from your boyfriend. He scares people. He even makes his own schedule because none of us want to deal with him."

Nami rolled her eyes at the exasperated receptionist. "Again. He's not my boyfriend. It's not like I have his name hanging from my chain or anything. I just need to find him. How do you hire a man and not get any of his information or know anything about him?"

"I mean…we barely pay him. He literally comes here to work out. Keeps to himself. Helps us move equipment."

"And none of you know anything besides his name? Not even a phone number?"

"Well, it's hard to forget a name like Zoro Roronoa. I mean he sounds like an action figure. Looks like one, too. And honestly, between you and him, all the hip rocking and lip locking- people forget they come here to workout. Like…do you really need to wear such scandalous outfits? This is a gym, not the Victoria's Secret runway."

Nami was ready to call the woman various names, none of them good when a voice from behind startled her. "You're looking for Zoro?"

Nami felt relief that any other human being knew Zoro. "Yes, I-"

She turned to face the man, but he was on one knee and handed her a rose. "It would be my deepest pleasure to serve you, mademoiselle."

Nami chuckled but took the rose, "Uh, okay."

He faltered again and clutched his chest. His blonde hair hid one of his blue eyes. He wore a black tailored suit but had a gym bag in one arm. "Oh, your voice is so melodious. Like a swan's. What is the name of such a beautiful lady?"

"Nami", she said with hesitation.

"Well, Nami-Swan, I am forever captured by your gaze. I shall help you find my foolhardy roommate if that would please you!"

Nami nodded with a weary smile. She turned back to the receptionist and whispered, "How come you couldn't find this guy?"

The reception whispered back, "Honestly…I thought he was Zoro's boyfriend, so I didn't want to start some kind of fight cause I thought Zoro was cheating on you guys. I didn't want you guys raising hell over this."

Nami gave her a cold stare. "For the last time, I am not dating Zoro!"

The man behind her squealed and grabbed her hand, "Thank goodness. I wondered how that brute could love such a delicate flower like you if-"

Nami knocked him unconscious and as he fell to the ground, he cried, "Ah, like being struck by a goddess."

Nami turned her attention back to the receptionist. "Now, I'll need a room to interrogate him. Without windows would be preferable."

"What? No. This is not a police station. But I will call securi-"

Nami pressed her finger against the phone and hung up the woman's call. She leaned in and smiled coldly at the weary receptionist. "Let me ask you something. Do you think it is wise to piss me off? The one person who could apparently get through to 'the scariest man' you have here? What do you think I can do to you if someone like him is under my thumb? If he's a goddamn problem, then I am your worst nightmare."

The receptionist felt a chill and grabbed her keys, "Okay. I'll get you a room. I'm sorry."

Nami grabbed the keys from her and smiled. "Perfect. Now get someone to carry this idiot there. I don't want to break a nail."

The woman stared flabbergasted but obliged, even if it was coerced and with discontent. With the help of some other trainers, they gave her an empty room- in hopes that they would not have to deal with her anymore. Before they left, they whispered about Nami being a witch, and Nami took pleasure in slamming the door in their fearful faces.

Nami looked around the room and frowned. "Of course, they gave me the pole dancing room…"

She signed and tied Sanji to one the poles with some jump ropes. She felt around his suit for a phone and flipped it open. He had hundreds of contacts on his phone. They were apparently all women, as they were labeled various nicknames of love and adoration, except one. Nami quickly texted the frequently called number to Usopp.

While she did that, Sanji finally awoke. His head hurt, and he reached for his pack of cigarettes, but his arms were bound. He looked down to see his predicament and wondered if he was having one of his extreme dreams. Sanji quickly peered around to find Nami in the corner and on her phone.

"Ah, Nami-swan! I thought I had just dreamt of you, but to know such exquisite nature is real, that brings me so much joy."

She smiles falsely, "Oh, that is so kind, Mr…"

"Please call me Sanji, or your prince- whatever you prefer, my princess."

"Ha. Okay, Sanji…how do you know Zoro?"

Sanji frowned. "Right. You wanted to find that idiot. I was just in that position a few nights ago. He never came home for two days and I literally found him lost by the outskirts of town."

"Did he tell you where he was?"

"No. He just seemed more pissed off than usual. He wouldn't talk to me at all."

"Hmmm, you have him in your phone as Stupid Broke Ass Moss Head?"

She motioned to the phone in her hand.

Sanji shrugged, "I mean…do I lie? And he owes me rent."

Nami looked shocked. "And you just let him stay with you?"

"What can I say? He's a giant idiot…but he's also my giant idiot."

Nami seemed unnerved. "Wow. And Zoro said he didn't have any friends."

Sanji looked at her inquisitively. "He doesn't. Or at least I can count them all on one hand. However, I've never met you before. Believe me, I would remember a face like yours."

Nami fidgeted with the phone and wanted to call him her giant idiot, too. Sanji watched the way she tucked her hair behind her ear and bit her lip in hesitation, and he felt a prick of jealousy.

"We're partners." She said after a pause.

Sanji seemed taken aback and a gentle smile appeared on his face, "I see. Well, congratulations. I'm glad Zoro found happiness-"

"What? No! Like business partners."

She rose from the chair quickly and stumbled to Sanji, who only laughed. "Look, I get it. I'm not exactly proud that he managed to worm his way into my life either but-"

"I'm serious, Sanji! I am only using him for the money. We're going to enter a professional fight tonight and Zoro is going to win. And then he's going to keep winning until we make it to the big league fight in a couple of months and win millions."

Sanji blinked, "And Zoro is on board with this? Being used?"

"Why wouldn't he be? He'll finally have some money and he's dying to try out his strength."

"Guess I've lost my sparring partner then…and I guess you're his pimp?"

"Um, no. I am not a pimp. I'm his manager. I mean, I guess I could sell his body if need be…"

She pondered a moment how much his "machismo" would get. If people looked past his scary face, they would not be able to deny he had a great body. She was sure he would have no trouble keeping up with others in the bedroom, and Zoro had no real power to control how Nami made him her toy. The thought brought a bit of heat to her face, and Sanji took notice.

"Imagining what is underneath his shirt?"

She answered without thinking, "Already seen it."

"What?"

"Yeah, he showered at my place and-"

Sanji stuttered. "You're telling me you two- are just business partners but you've seen him naked? I mean-I mean has he seen you-you…naked, too?"

Nami grew embarrassed, as she thought of Zoro seeing her in her lacy wear. It did not technically count as being naked, but if she were looking at this from the outside, yes, she would agree it was strange that they were so familiar with one another. However, she was not going to let Sanji know all that. He seemed highly invested in her relationship with Zoro, and Nami thought the receptionist might have been right. She stared down at Sanji.

"No, he hasn't. But does it matter? Haven't you? You two live together."

"Incorrect, Nami-swan. He crashes on my couch. Why would I see him naked?"

"So you're not together?"

"God no. Do I love that bumbling idiot? Yes. But is he my boyfriend? No. Not in the slightest."

Nami appeared reassured and Sanji smiled at the change. To Sanji, it seemed all too obvious that Nami wanted to know if Zoro had any romantic relations, and whether she and Zoro had feelings for each other, Sanji would not stand in the way of anything that could be.

"Alright, let's go, Nami-swan. You said your fight is tonight?"

Nami broke away from her daydreaming. "Yeah, I'm scared he forgot."

"He didn't. He actually left saying he had a fight later today. I didn't know what he was talking about, so I let him leave before I could put a damn leash on him. Knowing Zoro, he's probably roaming around somewhere."

"Do you think you could find him?"

"I know some of his frequent spots. I call them his lost zones."

Nami laughed as she untied Sanji. He looked at Nami with warmth, happy to see someone looked for Zoro with such fervor. She was his type, too.

Nami's phone suddenly buzzed, and she looked at it with glee. "Do you know these coordinates? My friend said his phone last pinged off these cell towers. It was an hour or so ago, so he must have turned it off. But…do you know it?"

Sanji squinted at the screen as he finished untying himself. "Oh, yes! That's a park at the edge of town. He sometimes goes wandering around there. But…uh, how do you have all this information?"

Nami smiled and rose to leave. "I have my sources. Now, are you coming or not?"

Sanji beamed. "I'll drive, my princess!"

"Uh, no, I'll drive."

She worried her new acquaintance would crash them into a tree by seeing some woman on the street, and Nami was too intent on killing only one person today. His name was Zoro.

Music Inspiration/Theme: "Problem" (Natalia Kills)