Chapter Three
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, only the plot. A forewarning, there is humour based around a group, however, I do not hate said group yet to be named. It's just satire. I also don't own this group. Oh and thanks for the few, but heartfelt reviews (?). But onward!€
"Naruto, you got food?" Ino asks as the happy red head nods producing burgers.
"So I stole this?" Ten Ten says as she holds up the gem.
"And what was up with Hinata-chan?" Naruto asks.
"We aren't getting anywhere!" Ino shouts as they see a Helicopter in the sky flying off into the forests outside of Konoha.
"I should return this" Ten Ten says.
"Let's just put everything we can remember or know about last night and work from there" Ino says.
"I stole this Diamond and Neji is stuck in School with hair braiding apes, that we set free from the Zoo because of the movie planet of the apes and I saw a tiger" Ten Ten says "And Temari lost her pinky finger"
"Actually Gaara cut it off, he was telling me after I woke up in a tree, then found Kiba who was eating a brownie, Akamaru wasn't with him and he seemed drunk. He said ' Naruto, how are you still walking?'. Gaara was kidnapped and that's it"
"Pretty much the same" Ino says "What about Shino? Won't he know?"
"He didn't go last night" Naruto says "His spider was laying eggs"
.
''Come on every pony,
Smile Smile smile
Fill my heart with sunshine, sunshine~''
.
"Hello?" Ino answers.
"You let her get in a Helicopter" Sasuke grinds "Are you an Idiot?"
"How do you know?"
"The news! About a News Helicopter! You had one thing to do... Just tell me you found Naruto" Sasuke grovels.
"Teme!" Naruto shouts "Do you remember what happened last night?"
"Of course I do!" Sasuke says.
"Please tell us" Ten Ten says as Sasuke nods.
"You still have the Diamond?" he asks.
"Yes"
"It's not stolen. Look, Neji bought it for you and told you to meet him at Class 2-B last night and then the monkeys kidnapped him. Naruto was attacked one and was chased by one all night long. Ino suggested that... Hang on..Shit, oh shit, shit... I gotta go" Sasuke says as it goes quiet.
"Why can't we remember anything?" Ino asks turning Hinata's phone off angrily "AND I WANT A FLIP PHONE TO CLOSE IT ANGRILY!"
"Go to Karin's house" Sasuke says as the dial tone beeps obnoxiously
"And take a chill pill"
"Let's get moving"
""~+~""
Approaching the appartment they nod, it wasn't too bad. Knocking on the door, Karin answers as she grins pushing her glasses up.
"Hey, you're back" she says "Sakura why are you wearing a hat?"
"My hair. One half is all there and the other is fine" Sakura says.
"And Naruto, red does suit you" she says "As for Ino, why didn't you get a hair cut too?"
"I don't know. We can't remember anything" Ino says as Naruto cocks his head at a Monkey that was sitting on the couch.
"That's Jojo" Karin says as Naruto is hit with a memory.
""~+~""
"I can't believe this party!" Naruto shouts as he dances with Hinata as she nods "Those cops actually bought that it was still a few people"
"I know Naruto" she says as he grabs her arm and spins her.
"Oi, get your hands off my girlfriend" Sasuke says as Naruto tenses.
"You are dating?" Naruto asks as a huge explosion behind them makes everyone go quiet "Holy shit!"
"Ahhhhhhhh" Ino screams as she gets out of the car and jumps into the pool.
"Woooo!" The crowd cheers as Naruto grows a little concerned with how big the party was becoming.
"Do you guys want to help me get to me car, I'd go alone, but... I don't think I'd get back" Naruto says as the pair nod.
"Just let me grab more brownies" Hinata says as she takes like 10 from one of the many trays.
"So you and Teme huh?" Naruto asks as Hinata nods.
"Since you didn't bother getting back to me, I decided to give up on love and then Sasuke gave me a huge Diamond so I gave it to Neji, to give to Ten-chan" Hinata says "Then he confessed and other shit happened... the better question is why there is a huge man with a red dragon over there?"
"Holy shit" Sasuke says as he climbs onto Naruto's car.
"Oh my" Hinata says as Sasuke holds her.
"Ino is so screwed" Naruto comments as they look at the huge crowd.
The whole street was filled with people and alcohol, they were other peoples lawns as home owners stand on the porches with phones. A monster truck hits one of the poles as the light go out. A bonfire! A car was on fire as people continued to party. All of sudden a loud siren was heard from Ino's roof. Ino was holding a Megaphone.
"Is everyone having fun!" Ino shouts as everyone screams "Good, because the police are coming, but I say we invite more people and own this place!"
"Wooooo!" People shout as they pull out there phones and start texting and taking picture.
"One last thing..." Ino says as she drops the megaphone and takes out her phone "But first, let me take a selfie"
""~+~""
"Sasuke and Hinata are dating" Naruto says "The party got way out of control, like the whole street, to nearly the whole block"
"That would explain the lack of fences" Ino says remembering that her fence was missing "What am I going to do?"
"I say we do what Karin says" Sakura says as Naruto blinks "We are going to find Sai. Karin says she saw him last night at his address"
""~+~""
Sakura lead the group to her house as she shivers. She looked to Ino as she looked around. Something didn't feel right at all. Like someone was watching them. She looked to the blonde again as Ino sighs.
"What Sakura?" Ino asks tiredly.
"I feel like we're being watched" Sakura says as she keeps looking around, her eyes scanning everything.
"I hate to agree with Sakura, but something not sitting with me" Ten Ten says.
Meanwhile at the Hospital...
Temari sat with a bandages around her missing pinky. She was pretty bored and wished for something to happen so she could slip out.
"R.I.P-" she started.
"ZAYM MALIK! #CUTFORZAYN!" A girl screams running in a Straight Jacket "You believe Temari? Right?!"
"Get her! Oh for crying out loud, get her before she infects more" a nurse shouts.
Temari shut the door to where she was sitting as she watches the rabid fangirl break free from the straight jacket and now holding a scalpel cut someone as she hands them a scapel.
" HASH TAG CUT FOR ZAAAAAAAYYYYYYNNNNNN!" the pair scream as the Hospital goes into panic.
"Let me in!"
"Sorry" Temari says as she locks the door and points to the grown mans cut on his cheek "You're already infected"
"No... The Vamps... They will be... #CUTFORZAYNNNNNNN!" He shouts taking his shirt off and runs off.
"Who the hell made this?" Temari asks as a very pale man following her friends sneezes.
"^-^"
The group rolled up to the address as they saw a whole lot of people as they look for Sai. The stopped and looked at the group.
"AYYY, it's Ino" Kankuro says "I guess you weren't lying when you said that you could do it"
"Do what?" Ino asks.
"You know..." Kankuro trails on "Well... last night you offered your services to us"
"W-Wha?" Ino asks as she blushes.
"NO! Like as you joined the Allied Forces, we're going to rescue Gaara!" Kankuro says.
"What?" Ino asks even more confused.
"Last night, after Naruto punched Pain at the Zoo he declared war. Naruto dyed his hair to make sure he couldn't be found. Gaara was abducted instead. Sasuke is already in the building and Hinata is trying to save him"
"All she has is a helicopter"
"And a nerf gun"
"A nerf gun. It doesn't do anything" Ten Ten says.
"Why was Pain at the Zoo anyway?" Naruto adds.
"You don't remember do you?" Kankuro asks surprised "Which is why you are looking for Sai, he's been filming this whole time... it's going to be a great Documentry"
"^-^"
"Sai" Ino calls out as he waves.
"Hows my wife?" he asks as he kisses her cheek.
"I'm married to Shikamaru"
"Nope he's married to Temari" Sai says " I have the papers"
"Oh my gosh!" Sakura shouts as she points at Ino "Your middle name is penile!"
"Sounds like Penis" Naruto laughs as Ino blushes.
"It was supposed to Penny, but Kaa-san wrote it wrong! Shut up!" Ino shouts as she slaps Naruto.
"Why me?"
"So..." Sai says.
"Tell us what happened last night" Ino says as Ten Ten nods.
"We also need to save Neji" Ten Ten says.
"He's fine" Sai says as he looks at Ino "If I tell you, you won't believe me"
"Try me" Ino says.
"You'll want to sit down, because this tale is going to be very lon-"
"Then stop with the long introduction to the long story" Ten Ten says.
"Okay, this is what I saw and filmed" Sai says as he starts his recount.
"^-^"
Sai peered at Ino as he filmed her dancing on her house with a few other people. He changed directions as Naruto came up to him with Hinata and Sasuke.
"Sai, we need your help" Naruto says.
"Yes Naruto?" Sai asks.
"This party is getting out of control, you need to tell Ino to shut it down" Naruto says.
"Why me?"
"Because she loves you"
"Since when?"
"Since you saved her Burrito"
"I like Burritos, not girls"
"Look, Sasuke and Hinata are going to-" Naruto was cut off as the Tv blared loudly.
"^-^"
"A party is Konoha has gotten out of control... as you can see there are monster trucks riding over the blocks fences, we go live to our Air Cast" the News Reporter says.
"As you can see, this number is nearing 5,000" the anchor says as people cheer "The must be watching the news, because they are cheering"
"The DRAGON" Hinata shouts as she pushes Sasuke out of the way and scrambles to a near by motorcycle.
"As we can see a drunken teen is now on a Motor cycle and is roaring up the roof. What is she doing? Look, we can see Police forces... Oh my god... Look out!"
On the screen you could see a bunch of bulls run through the Police force.
"Where did they come from?" The news lady screams.
"Die DRAGON DIE DRAGO DIE!" Hinata shouts as Sai films her riding it off the roof as she fires a nerf bullet.
"-_-"
Like in slow motion, the Helicopter starts to sway before the people jump out and watch it crash into a mall. Sai zooms in on Naruto's face as goes to catch Hinata. She lands on him as Sasuke grabs her and runs off.
"Ohhh, are they okay... cut off! The fucking news off now!"
""~+~""
"Why did she do it?" Ten Ten asks as Sai shrugs.
"We'll more than likely see her at the Akatsuki head quarters" Sai says.
"What about Temari's finger and my hair, car in the pool and whatever else?"
"Temari had her finger chopped off because a snake bit her there after we snuck into Orochimaru's house, Sakura, your hair is like that because somebody...actually, I don't know, Naruto's hair because of the Akatsuki Mafia and Ino's tattoo of me on her back because she loves me"
"Why does this day keep getting worse?" Ino asks as she liftes up her shirt to see part of a Tattoo.
"It's not bad" Ten Ten comments with an impressed look.
"I did it myself" Sai says as Ino face palms.
"Why is Hinata acting so weird?" Naruto asks.
"I think someboy spiked the drinks, but I'm not too sure" Sai says "We leave in five minutes to get Gaara, Sasuke, Tsunade and Akamaru back"
As the group walked outside to get in a car with the many other people and pick up trucks as people holding guns nods and smile. Like they were born for this. It was like watching a gang going to war, which it was esstentially. As they got in the back Hinata's phone begins to ring.
""~+~""
''Come on every pony,
Smile Smile smile
Fill my heart with sunshine, sunshine~''
.
"Sasuke what?" Ino answers as she puts it on speaker phone.
"Is Hinata there?" a voice asks, a female voice.
"Who is this?" Ino asks suspicously.
"You just tell her, it's Hinata who is calling. I'm having trouble firing the Bazuka out of the Helicopter, tell her to give me a call as soon as possible" Hinata says as people become confused.
"Hinata, this is you who is calling. You called yourself, about yourself... how high are you?" Sakura asks.
"Oh, Hinata is there? Or is she not?" Hinata asks impatiently.
"We'll tell her you called if we see her" Naruto says.
"Thanks, Gotta go. They're aiming their tanks at me" Hinata says as she hangs up.
"Tanks..." Ino says as she grips her head "Why... AGGGH!"
"Wait, so why was Sasuke Kidnapped?" Naruto asks.
"Because you hit Pain and also because you sacrificed him" Sai says as the cars rumble and hit many bumps.
"So basically a gang war" Ten Ten says as she picks up her phone "With Tanks and an RPG... I'm going to call Neji"
"Neji" Ten Ten says as Neji can be heard puffing.
"Ten-chan" he says as she blushes "The Diamond... I remember and I'm sorry about Sakura too and the whole dragon incident"
"Are you okay Neji-kun?"
"I don't know, all I've eaten is these brownies" Neji says "Where are you?"
"Heading to save Sasuke" Ten Ten says they approach the port "I have to go... Bye Neji-kun"
""~+~""
A helicopter was on fire as Hinata fired nerf bullets at the people shooting actual bullets.
"Hahaha, just nerf bullets!" Hidan laughs as one hits his eye, then in his mouth as he cries out.
"Bitch!" Hinata shouts as she crams a brownie in her mouth "Oh, hey guys"
"H-Hinata?" Ino asks as the girl casually walks over as the star trooper like men miss as Hinata sits behind the cover provided by the trucks.
"Want a brownie? They're hella sic" Hinata says.
"Ahh, we found out the source... Hash Brownies" Sai says as he sniffs one, taking a nibble.
"Haha, Hinata's high" Ino giggles.
"Oh so you found her... It's okay now, I crashed anyway"
.
The battle was fierce as people were shot. Some Akatsuki members experiencing some nerf bullets. Astonishing, really, such a small girl and nerf bullets. And some way or another, it ended up being Sai, Naruto, Ino, Hinata and Ten Ten firing from behind the truck, everyone else was either groaning on the ground or had gone for chipotle, it was lunch time after all.
.
"Grenade out!" Hidan shouts.
"Why would you shout that, telling them that there is a grenad-" Kakuzu hisses as it goes off.
"Ahhh, my wenus has a splinter!" Hinata cries, tears welling as Hidan cheers "Man down"
"Hinata!" Naruto shouts as he runs through the debris to get to her before tripping "My knee!"
"N-Naruto" Hinata whispers as she smiles at him, it was heartfelt and warm.
"Hinata, I l-l-love you" Naruto says as Hinata gives a dry laugh.
"I love me too" she says as her eyes start to close.
"HINATAAAAAA!" Naruto shouts.