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This is not canon-complacent with Kingsman 2, but Statesman will show up eventually ?

….

"Merlin… can you give me an exact location for Galahad?"

"Galahad?"

Merlin sounded confused.

"Well… he's at the hospital, of course. I told him to stay with Ronnie Kray and keep an eye on him until we find Harry. If the Krays are responsible for Harry's kidnap, then Eggsy should be able to notice if there's any suspicious activity… why?"

"… Because I've just seen him at Kingsman headquarters."

"Shit"

…..

"Fuck off."

Eggsy rolled his eyes as he made his way into the hospital room, only to be confronted by a clearly irate Ronnie. "Nice to see you too Ronnie."

"I told Reggie, I don't wanna see you today."

"Oh? Why not?"

Silence.

"Did you remember anything about Teddy?"

More silence.

"… Not even slightly?"

….. Yes, even more silence.

Eggsy rolled his eyes, moving to sit in the corner chair that faced the bed. "I don't know what you remembered, but you need to focus on that. Maybe you'll get your memory back sooner and then you can get out of 'ere."

His phone vibrated in his pocket, but he just ignored it, keeping his attention on Ronnie.

"You wanna get out of 'ere, then you need to actually try and remember Teddy. Once your memory clears up, then the doctors might be willing to let you out of here."

"…. I want Reggie."

"But- "

"I WANT REGGIE NOW!"

….

"Evacuate the Headquarters!" ordered Roxy as she strode through the corridors, her gun out as she searched for the intruder, "I want everyone out of here now! Merlin, do you have a location on Edward?"

"Not even a glimpse. It's like he's disappeared off the face of the Earth…. Again!"

"The place is on lockdown! He can't be far!"

"You're telling me!"

Other agents and people who worked for Kingsman practically dived out of the way of Roxy, as she stormed through the corridors, yelling into her communicator.

It was all so chaotic…. So chaotic in fact, that noboy saw the slim figure slipping into a nearby room.

One marked KEEP OUT.

….

"What do you mean Teddy's in Kingsman 'eadquarters?!" Eggsy hissed into the phone, "It's top secret! 'ow did they- "

He stopped, coming to a realisation in his mind.

"- 'arry. 'e got 'arry and that's 'ow Teddy found out where the 'eadquarters were."

Merlin's sigh could be heard over the phone… long and weary, as though he had the weight of the world on his shoulders (which considering the circumstances, it probably was). "I suspect so, which poses a problem."

"'ow did they manage to get the information out of 'im?"

"That… and what else have they gotten out of him? Harry has received all the finest training when it comes to torture resistance, it would have taken a lot to get him to talk."

Eggsy shook his head in dismay, "We need to find 'im, before they can hurt him even more."

…

"It's in your best interest to let me go." Harry pleaded, for what seemed like the fiftieth time, tugging against his restraints (he never realised how much he'd relied on his technology), "My organisation will pay you! I swear!"

Keeping up the appearance of the nervous businessman was hard work…. And probably not necessary by now.

That fevered dream he'd had, about him spilling his guts to this girl, seemed more like a memory than a dream now.

Speaking of the girl, she was rolling her eyes so hard, Harry feared she would give herself a headache.

"Oh do shut up…" she sighed, examing her fingernails as she continued to work on them, "… just lie there like a good little boy, and this will all be over soon."

As all his belongings were far out of reach, Harry tried another tactic… building a rapport.

"How did you come to know Edward?"

"Oh, you know how it goes. Boy meets girl on the streets. They bond over abusive dads/step-dads. Girl has a crush. Boy turns her down gently due to raging homosexual urges. They remain friends and when one goes off to uni, the other settles down as a…. companion."

"… You had a crush on Edward?" Harry instantly focused on a potential weak spot, "It must have been hard to know that he was gay."

She didn't take the bait.

"Not really." She blew on her fingers and smirked at the tied up agent, "Whilst I would have loved to have him in your position, all tied up and at my mercy, …. He likes men, and I've been affectionately informed that if he had to pick a woman, I'd be his first choice. It's not as if he likes women but not me. I have no ill feelings towards him."

"…. You're not a member of the Kray gang are you?"

"Nope…. I'm just your average girl with a gay best friend." She beamed at him, "We have an understanding between us, so you just sit tight and it'll all be over before you know it."

"Whatever he's paying you, the Kingsman organisation will triple it."

This caused her to burst into laughter, "Money? You think this is all about money?!"

As she laughed, Harry felt a shiver run up and down his spine. "I did think so…" he confessed, "… until you laughed, and now I'm not so sure."

"Oh this isn't about the money Harry…. It's about so much more."

She got to her feet and paced around the small room, her hands gesticulated widely. "You see…. I have a kink for anarchy and wherever Teddy goes, he creates anarchy….. and I'm willing to do anything to help him create it."

"Anything?"

"… Anything."

….

"Merlin! Have you spotted him yet?"

Merlin rolled his eyes, happy that he couldn't be seen over the comms. "No… and trust me, I'm looking as hard as I can, but this bastard is a slippery snake. Everytime I've spotted him, he seems to have disappeared into another crack…. Like a cockroach."

"… Do you have any other animal metaphors for me, or is that it?"

"I'm sure I'll think of more… tha last confirmed sighting of him is in the East Wing, fifth corridor."

"…. Why does that sound familiar?"

"It's where the access to all of the agents files are…. Next of kin…. Home locations…. Things like tha- " Merlin stopped in his tracks, "Ooooooh, shit!"

"No need to tell me Merlin…" Roxy snarled, "… if he gets those names and locations, then every Kingsman employee is at risk."

She raced in that direction, forcing people out of her way as she went.

The door was locked when she got there, but that didn't mean anything. Using her specialist keys, she accessed the room and glanced around.

Nothing seemed to be out of place.

Not that that meant anything.

The room was full of filing cabinets, which were all kept under lock and key…. The computer was the main target though. Paper copies were fine if you just wanted one agents information…. The computer was where everyone's details were.

Very convenient for a mass attack.

"Merlin. I need you to- "

"- access the computer remotely…. It's already unlocked."

"But- "

"- only two people have access to that computer? Yeah, I know. Me and Harry."

"… Shit. Is there anyway to tell which files he copied or stole?"

"All of them…. Every agent's location and family details have been stolen."

….

Teddy hummed happily as he practically skipped out of the building.

Everyone was far too busy panicking and looking for a complete stranger…. Nobody even bothered to ask him if he was the real Eggsy.

Well, apart from these bozos up ahead.

"Sorry Agent Galahad…" apologised one of the guards at the entrance to the tunnel tube as the larger man blocked his path, "… no body is allowed in or out of the compound. There's been a security breach."

Teddy just smirked at them, before swiftly unsheathing his favourite knife and leaping at the guards, taking them completely by surprise as he slashed their throats. One bled out quickly, but the other one lay on the ground, desperately trying to put pressure on the wound.

Kicking away the man's panic button/communicator, Teddy bent down, resting on his heels in order to whisper in the man's ear.

"Surpriiiiiiise."