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This is not canon-complacent with Kingsman 2, but Statesman will show up eventually ?

….

"What are you watching?"

Teddy glanced up at Ronnie in the doorway, before glancing back at the T.V. "Friends… you know…. Funny sitcom about six friends? Friends?"

At the canned laughter coming from the T.V, Ronnie scowled and strode over, looming over the younger man. "It's crap. Turn it off."

"… Make me."

Ronnie growled before suddenly lunging at Teddy, pinning him roughly to the sofa and forcing the younger man's face into a nearby pillow. Ignoring how Teddy struggled, Ronnie then grabbed the remote, throwing it at the screen and hitting Chandler directly in the face, the remote embedding itself in the T.V.

"MMPH MMPH MMMMMPH!"

Ronnie pulled Teddy's head away from the pillow and frowned, "What was that?"

"I said, you're paying for that!"

There was a brief silence, before Ronnie leaned over and hissed into Teddy's ear. "Make me."

And then Teddy woke up.

"Great…" He muttered, leaning back in the aeroplane seat and running his fingers through his hair, "… just before it got to the good part."

Before he could even think about settling back to sleep, the pilots voice came over the tanoy.

"Ladies and Gentleman, please prepare as we will soon be landing in Cambodia. Please fasten all seatbelts and do not leave your seats until the stewards and stewardesses say that it is okay to leave. Thank you for travelling with us."

A sly smirk on his face, Teddy settled in for the landing, hoping that his last email had gotten through to his favourite drug lord.

…..

"Twenty years I've worked here!" Merlin raged, his Scottish accent growing thicker and thicker as he angrily paced Harry's office, "Twenty years and it's all gone to shit, because I didn't even take into account that Harry could be forced to talk and that your bastard of a brother could just stroll in."

Eggsy winced at the tirade, a flush on his face as he watched the footage of his brother striding through the corridors like he owned everything, disappearing into a forbidden room and emerging not long after… although not without killing a couple of guards.

"This is unfortunate, yes…" Roxy sighed beside him, "… but what can Edward honestly do with the knowledge that he has? No-one else knows about Kingsman, so no criminal organisation will be interested in the information. He doesn't have the skills or the equipment to take revenge all by himself… what could he do?"

"We don't know who the Krays know…" Merlin groaned, "… what if Edward has the contacts he needs to get revenge on us? What if someone does know about the Kingsman and is willing to pay top money to get their hands on the information? We just don't know!"

Roxy fell silent at this, casting a slightly un-nerved glance at Eggsy, who was growing paler and paler at the thought.

"What do we do then?" she asked eventually.

Merlin was silent for a few moments, before he sighed deeply and gestured for the two younger agents to follow him.

"I think we need… outside help for this one."

…..

"Good work Agent Tequila."

Agent Tequila beamed happily at the praise, lowering his gun, engaging the safety and spinning back around to face his boss… and something else.

Giving the younger man a fond smile, Agent Champagne gestured for Tequila to follow him, chuckling warmly as the man did as he was bid… almost like an eager puppy. Together, they strode to Champagne's office, with the older man pushing the other inside and locking the door behind him.

"Agent Whiskey has expressed an interest in taking you out on your first mission…" Champagne started, "… man's a good agent, and an even better teacher."

Tequila nodded, before frowning at the look on his boss's face. "Somethin' the matter boss?"

"Hmmmm… I was thinking I should take you out on your first mission."

"R-really? But you're the boss ain't ya? You don't go on missions."

Champagne raised an eyebrow at him and gestured for him to step closer, grabbing the man's jeans loops and pulling him closer. "Maybe I want to keep an eye on you boy? Maybe I want to make sure that my lessons have properly sunk in?"

Tequila squirmed in Champagne's grip, a light flush on his cheeks. "Y-yeah?"

"Oh yeah boy… I want to watch you in action."

"Ahem."

The pair quickly turned to the doorway, the flush on Tequila's face growing as Ginger raised an eyebrow at them…. Champagne, however, didn't let go and only pulled him closer.

"Can I help you Miss Ginger?"

"I received… an unusual call today."

…

"Merlin… what are we doing here?" Roxy asked, a frown on her face as she watched Merlin grab a bottle of whiskey that had been hidden in a safe, "Shouldn't we be looking for Arthur, instead of drinking."

"The drinking is important… there is a symbol on the bottom of this bottle that we need to identify, in order to give us more information on how to contact outside help."

Eggsy nodded in agreement… until Roxy grabbed the bottle and held it up in the air, staring at the symbol from the bottom.

"Statesman…. There's a contact number for a whiskey brewery here…. Looks like a Kentucky number."

Whislt Merlin muttered about Roxy being a 'spoilsport', Eggsy leaned over and glanced at the number. "How can you tell?"

"Hmmm?"

"How can you tell it's a Kentucky number?"

Roxy turned to Eggsy and frowned, "We got a briefing on number identicfication, didn't you read it?"

"… Take a wild guess."

She rolled her eyes, placing the bottle back on the table and turning her attention to Merlin. "Why would we need to call a brewery?"

"You really think the Kingsman are the only organisation who protect their country?" Merlin smirked, heading out of the room, "Let's just say we have allies all over the world."

…..

"And this… Merlin needs our help?" Champagne questioned, a curious frown on his face, "Do you trust him Ginger?"

"When they had a change in the hierarchy of power, I was contacted by Merlin to make sure our records were all up to date… it's a legitimate call Sir."

"Right… but their boss is missing and they think the entire of Kingsman is under threat from a mobster's boy toy?" Champagne turned to Tequila and smirked, "The Americans bailing out the English once again."

"Unfortunately, it's a little bit more serious than that Sir… it appears as if the boy-toy has a list of every agent Kingsman has, including the undercover ones."

"How?"

"That's where the missing Arthur comes in… whoever has him, managed to get the information from him on how to infiltrate the Kingsman headquarters."

Champagne leaned back against his chair, "Fucks sake!"

Tequila glanced between Ginger and Champagne, a befuddled expression on his face. "Is Arthur's capture a problem?"

"Yeah kid… the boss of every organisation knows details about the others… some forget them, but this new one didn't seem like the type. If this kid suspects there are others like the Kingsmen, then we might be in trouble." He glanced at Ginger, "Tighten our defensives. Nobody gets in here without being searched all over… and I mean all over!"

"Yes Sir!"

….

"You are so cute!"

Teddy tried not to wince at the overly familiar tone, combined with the high-pitched voice. Instead, he plastered a fake smile on his face, fingering with the usb in his pocket.

"Some of my more… dangerous friends have always given you the highest of reviews, especially when it comes to drugs. And I know you've had a problem recently… people stopping your dealers and shipments."

"Hmmm…" Poppy leaned forwards, a wicked smile on her face, "… and just what do you have to offer?"

Before Teddy could answer, the doors to the makeshift diner slammed open and two of Poppy's stooges strode in, carrying a bloodied and bruised man in between them.

"He was going through the stash boss!" one of them called out, throwing the bruised man onto the ground, "Tried to make a run for it."

Teddy watched as Poppy's face seemed to tighten, before she got to her feet and wandered over to the fallen man, who… yeah, he'd pissed himself.

Gross.

"Johnny, Johnny, Johnny…" Poppy cooed, "… how disappointing. I'm hurt that you would betray me like this."

"P-please, p-please don't- "

"- Ah, ah, ah." Poppy held her a finger and wagged it from side to side, "You know the rules." She then glanced up at the two men who had brought the 'betrayer' in and gestured for them to pick him back up.

As soon as his arms were grabbed, Johnny started to whimper and whine, dragging his feet along the ground in an attempt to stop whatever was coming next.

Teddy watched in alarm as the two man dragged Johnny around to the meat grinder… and then lifted him into the air, before lowering him into the machine.

Oh fuck no…. fuck no.

As the man's screams were cut off as the machine whirred, Teddy turned away and headed towards the door.

He was insane but that was too much.

But the doors were locked.

"Where you goin' honey?" Poppy called over to him, "I'll be making burgers soon, I thought you wanted to talk."

"I just remembered I had a dentist appointment… any chance I could- "

"- No."

Teddy turned around, wincing at the sight of the man's legs sticking out of the meat grinder. Poppy was smirking at him, seeming to take delight in the fact that his face had lost all colour.

"We're going to have that chat. Whether or not you want to."