Chapter Thirteen
Riddle's men disappeared as quickly as he had once they realized he was gone. Lily made sure to glare Severus down as long as he was in front of her. He glanced briefly in her direction before disappearing in a cloud of black smoke, same as the others had.
As soon as they were gone, Lily felt like something had released her and she almost fell to her knees. She would have if James hadn't caught her.
"What the hell was that?" He asked, his eyes raking over her, looking for something that he wasn't going to find on the surface.
"I'm not sure," Lily said, clinging to him as her legs got shakier, "But I need to sit down. I feel a bit faint."
"I feel a bit faint!" Sirius ran a hand through his hair and looked up at the sky, laughing. "You barged through the fire and I thought you were dead for sure-"
"Sirius," James cut him off and wrapped his arm around Lily's middle. "We should go back into the tavern. It is best to get out of the open."
"I agree," Remus said, looking around as though they might reappear. Lily didn't think that was likely though, but she did want to sit down.
So she nodded, and leaned on him as he led her back to the tavern. Benjy held the door open for them and Hestia came out of the back room with large cups of water and an apron full of apples. The waitress must have fled with most of the tavern's earlier occupants, but quite a few of the people who had stayed followed James and Lily inside.
"Eat this," Hestia said, holding out the apple. "The sugar will help."
Lily reached for the water first and didn't stop drinking until it was almost gone. Hestia hurried to refill it. Lily was halfway through an apple when James spoke up.
"Did you mean what you were saying?"
Lily finished chewing and then swallowed. "Yes. I didn't know that it was true until I was saying it, I didn't plan on saying it. It felt like something had taken hold of me."
"When the fuck did you give fairyland permission to use you as a weapon?" Remus sounded as angry as she'd ever heard him and she sighed, tired from the exertion of using magic that she had never known she could harness.
"I don't know." Lily said. "I haven't really had a lot of time to think about it." But the memory came back to her before she had even finished speaking and she shook her head. "I made a wish on a star," She laughed and took another bite of her apple. She pointed a finger at Remus, "We were twelve or thirteen, it was the only time you let me stay here overnight. We slept in a treehouse at the base of the Black Mountain."
"You made a wish on a star?" Peter had rejoined them now, looking cautiously at James. But James' attention stayed on Lily.
"I'm sorry about earlier, Peter." Lily said, distracted from the memory. "I didn't know that I could do that."
"It is quite alright," Peter smiled at her, his gaze cutting over to James again, but his smile stayed in place. "Everything worked out the way it was meant to."
"But yes, I made a wish on a star. Remus and I used to do it all the time in my treehouse, and we were near the mountain in a treehouse and the stars just seemed closer than ever- and then a shooting star went by and so I made a wish. I think that's when it happened."
"What did you wish?" James asked quietly, rolling another apple toward her as she finished the one in her hand.
Lily shook her head again as she grabbed the apple. "I can't tell you that."
"Why?" Remus laughed. "Are you afraid that it's bad luck?"
"Yes." Lily nodded.
Sirius joined them at the table, dropping down beside her. "Well, what is our next move, my Queen."
Lily made a face at him. "Don't call me that."
"Your royal highness?" He offered.
"No," She sighed. "And I don't know. The earth took the magic that he had been using, maybe that will help to ward off the darkness."
"Maybe," James nodded. "But the land and you have quite clearly entered into some kind of agreement and that does make you the subject of the prophecy." He sat up and looked at her hand beside his on the table before he took a breath through his nose and covered her hand with his. "Which means that Sirius is right. You are the true queen."
Lily shook her head. "No, I'm not. That magic isn't mine. Whatever I did to make the fire go away, it wasn't me! You called in a storm and lightning and you're fine!"
"I did not say anything about you processing big magic." James shook his head. "Big magic is not a necessity for a royal."
"Why do you think all these people followed you in here?" Peter asked, nodding his head toward all the tables around them that were quietly listening to their conversation. "They all know, same as we do, that you're here to save us. The land chose you. You are the one true queen of Fairyland."
Benjy was the first to raise his cup, but soon everyone was mirroring the action and looking at her, their heads bowed. They all believed what they were telling her, they all believed that she was somehow some kind of queen. Despite her round ears and mortal weaknesses, they all believed that she somehow belonged here, that she wasn't intruding or playing at being fae.
Lily bit down on the tip of her tongue and looked out across the tavern. There couldn't have been more than a couple dozen people here, but that was more people than had ever made her feel welcomed here.
"I wished that I could stay here." She said quietly.
James' hand tightened on hers as he laced their fingers together. She glanced over at him and he had a small smile on his face. "The land chose you when you chose the land." He said as though it made all the sense in the world.
None of this really made any sense to Lily though, and with everyone looking at her, and the weight of their safety coming down on her shoulders, she started to feel as though she couldn't catch her breath. James was looking at her like she was made of the stars that she had wished on, Sirius was smirking beside her, calling her a queen and the people in the tavern were in awe after the display she'd just put on.
But she didn't know how to use magic, she didn't know how to wield it. She was finally being accepted here in this place that she loved so much, only to feel as though she didn't belong, that she was faking everything somehow, that she'd somehow tricked them into believing in a prophecy that had nothing to do with her.
She quickly stood up, dropping James' hand. She looked across the room, turned and headed toward the stairs.
She took them two at a time and closed the door to the room they'd rented earlier, leaning against it with her shoulder, waiting to see if anyone was going to follow her before she slid down to the floor and hugged her knees to her chest.
Fairyland had chosen her for something, the land itself decided that she was worthy of protecting it, and here she was, sitting on the floor of a tavern, by herself, because she didn't believe it.
She clenched her hands into fists and shook her head.
This is what she had always wanted really. On a much, much larger scale, but this was it. She wanted adventure, she wanted to belong to fairyland, and now she did.
It was only natural that she should feel overwhelmed, that she should feel a bit like an intruder. But she wasn't scared, even when Riddle had first appeared, she'd been worried for her friends and the people in the town, but she wasn't scared of him for herself.
And she'd rushed into the fray of things without stopping to plan too much. At the time, she hadn't even been aware of what she was capable of, that she would be able to protect herself.
And then she couldn't breathe again.
She could have died. She squeezed her eyes shut and saw herself running through the flames only to catch fire, or be shot down immediately after entering the clearing. Two things that maybe should have happened, had everything happened logically. But things hadn't happened logically and so she was still alive, but she felt a phantom death pass over her again and again as she thought of all of the ways things could have happened.
There was a soft knock on the door and Lily tensed. But she couldn't let anyone see her like this, except maybe Remus. He would understand, he wouldn't be disappointed in her, or angry that the true queen of fairyland was sort of a cry baby.
She cleared her throat and stood up. "You can come in." She said, glad that her voice sounded even for the most part.
It was James, and he walked in and closed the door as quietly as he knocked.
He looked at her quietly too. And Lily started to crack under his gaze. She crossed her arms over her chest and bit down on her tongue. Why wasn't he saying anything? Shouldn't he be telling her what their next move was? That Sirius and Peter had gone to get the horses? That the people down below were expecting a speech and not for her to run?
He gave her a small smile. "You have learned a great deal these last few days."
She shrugged a shoulder and looked away from him, toward the window, toward the floorboards, anywhere but the stupid understanding expression he was wearing.
"No one expects you to step into this new role cleanly. There is no right or wrong way to go about this." He went on and Lily narrowed her eyes. Damn him for bringing her close to tears. "But I would suggest talking things out, if you are taking suggestions." He was fully grinning now, like he had been when she first saw him in that tree, looking like a piece of the forest, animated to life.
She let out a huff of laughter and then wiped at her eyes. "I stepped into this a little too easily a few days ago." She shook her head. "I didn't think it was going to change much of anything, that it was going to amount to much of anything. But did you see the way he was looking at me?"
"Who?"
"Riddle," Lily let her hands drop to her sides. "He was afraid of me."
James nodded. "I think he could feel the magic rolling off of you."
"It's not my magic." She reiterated. "I couldn't move my feet. I felt like I was being electrocuted, like I was nothing more than a wire."
James nodded. "It's fascinating. But you have entered into an agreement with the land, and that agreement allows you to use magic of the land. It doesn't much matter if it's yours or not, it's terrifying and Riddle should be afraid."
"I threatened to kill him." Lily said, suddenly horrified by what she had said.
"He needs to die." James said quite bluntly.
"Yes, I understand why you would say that, but I carry spiders out of my house when I find them. I brake for birds. I have never purposefully killed anything in my life and I don't know how I would even go about killing a- well he's not human, but the point still stands."
"His soul is in fragments and he is beyond saving. He has tied his life source to the earth, which is killing the land and everything else with it."
"I understand that as much as anyone can understand that, but it doesn't really change what I said."
James nodded and put his hands together. "Well, we will figure something out."
He kept saying that. They didn't have any answers, and she felt like she was only making things more difficult for everyone. She had magic that she didn't know how to use, she was being used by the land in a way that she couldn't explain, she was the center of this prophecy that was impossible to depict and now she was telling James that she knew Riddle had to die, but she didn't think that she could kill him.
"Well," She huffed and sat down on the edge of the bed. "I don't know. Maybe I can." She didn't think she would change her mind about this, but it had become very clear that anything was possible.
James gave her a small grin. "We will figure it out, Lily." He said again, "I do not want you to do anything that goes against who you are."
Lily sighed again and crossed her arms over her chest. "I feel like I'm holding you all back."
James narrowed his brow and took a seat next to her on the bed. "Why would you feel like that? You have already helped so much."
"I don't know what I'm doing."
James shrugged. "Me either."
Lily elbowed him and clicked her tongue. "Yes, you do."
"Lily, I have been trying to work out how to stop the darkness for about a year now and I have not been able to do anything to stop the spread. When we were out there this morning, just you being present was enough to deter the spread."
"I made it go around us, faster than it would have if I hadn't shown up."
"Maybe, but when things change, that can be a good thing. This does not seem like a good thing, but it is different, and that gives me hope. We have been staring at the same problem for the last year, waiting for something new to happen, and now something new has happened. It makes me feel as though something big is about to happen."
"I also feel like something big is about to happen and I'm a little bit terrified."
"Me too," James agreed, smiling a bit. "It is a little exciting, is it not?"
Lily pressed her lips together and looked at him, but then she cracked and nodded, her own smile showing up. "I shouldn't feel like this. I shouldn't be excited."
"Are you sure that you are not part fae, Lily?"
She let out a breathy laugh. "I am quite certain that I am not part fae." She tucked her hair back to show off her round ears. "Besides, the prophecy says, 'Born to mortals.'"
James was still smiling at her.
She still didn't know how she was going to fix this. But she couldn't say that he hadn't lightened the weight on her shoulders.
AN: There we are! Let me know what you think!