A/N: Thank you much to my lovely beta reader, Larxenne once again.

Chapter 8: The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly

Harry lifted an eyebrow, flattered and slightly amused. He was curious what would happen next.

"I, of course, will understand completely if you would rather not. I will not require it of you. However, I feel an interrogation would be dull in comparison."

"Where would you like to duel, Professor?" Harry asked.

Dumbledore beamed at him. "This space will do," replied Dumbledore, extracting his wand from one of his belled sleeves. He waved it, and the round room elongated, and all of the tables pushed themselves out of sight. Dumbledore's spell encased the portraits on the walls with a protective shell, transforming the room into an ideal space for dueling. Harry looked around in awe, slightly disoriented by the changes.

Dumbledore misread his face.

"Do not worry. I promise I will not maim you, and I do hope you will lend me the same consideration. I am an old man, after all," he said with a wink.

"Professor, you only look about five minutes older than I do," he said, and Dumbledore gave him a mysterious smile, "and as for the maiming, I don't think I could maim you," said Harry, truthfully. However, he meant it in the way that he would if he had said, "I could never kill a puppy." Harry felt he was physically and magically capable of maiming Dumbledore, but not emotionally capable.

"I do promise, though," said Harry.

"Lovely," said Dumbledore, "Shall we?"

Harry nodded.

"I would like to rule out the use of unforgivable curses and dark magic," said Dumbledore.

Harry nodded again.

"And for the first portion of the duel, I would like spells to be cast out loud," he continued.

Harry nodded.

"I may amend this at a later juncture."

Harry nodded.

"Oh, and to make this more interesting, I think we should refrain from using any shielding charms, shall we?"

"Right," said Harry slowly.

They both went to stand on the center of the long rug, which now bore the moon-shaped marks of an official dueling arena. They faced each other, and both bowed very low. They turned and paced to their ends of the rug, and turned to face each other. Dumbledore conjured a number three between them. It turned into a two. It turned into a one.

"Expelliarmus!" Harry shouted.

"Accio Wand!"said Dumbledore, flicking his wand, which twitched nearly out of his grasp despite the charm. Harry had never thought of using the summoning charm to counteract the disarming charm.

"Rictusempra!"said Dumbledore smiling. Harry jumped out of the way and the spell hit the wall and disappeared.

"Tickling spell, Professor?" Harry sent the jelly leg curse at Dumbledore.

"Oh I love that one!" said Dumbledore, not bothering to block it or move out of the way. He wobbled and collapsed, however he muttered the counter curse and shot a spell at Harry that Harry didn't hear. It hit Harry squarely in the chest, and Harry started shrinking. He shrunk and shrunk until he was a speck on the floor. He guessed that Dumbledore had used "reducio!"which was the reducing charm. Harry decided to use it to his advantage. Dumbledore would no longer be able to hear his tiny voice to block his spells. The only problem was his wand was still huge. He decided to use some wandless magic. Dumbledore hadn't said anything about wandless magic, only silent magic.

"Wingardium Leviosa!" squeaked the tiny Harry. The giant Dumbledore, who had now gotten back to his feet, did not hear him, and couldn't see him. Harry's wand rose in the air and pointed at Dumbledore. A look of shock momentarily flashed across Dumbledore's face.

Using his wand far above him, he charmed Dumbledore's hair purple, and turned his midnight robes into a flowery bathrobe.

"Langlock!" squeaked Harry, magically sealing Dumbledore's tongue to the roof of his mouth, and then made his wand point down at himself.

"Engorgio!"squeaked Harry, and he grew back up to slightly below Dumbledore's eye level.

Dumbledore raised his wand, and shot bubbles out of it. They formed themselves into the words "As I have now become incapacitated, I believe it is time for wordless magic. Also, may I keep the robe?"

Harry laughed at the bubbles, but took too much time laughing. Dumbledore had already sent a spell zooming at him. Harry conjured a squashy pillow to protect himself. The pillow began sprouting flowers. Harry banished the pillow towards Dumbledore, who caught it. Dumbledore realized his mistake just in time. He dropped the pillow before the flowers could creep up his arms. He changed the bubble words to say "That's about enough fun and games," and sent a hex at Harry, who, stupidly enough, was still reading the letters. The hex had been the full body bind. Harry's legs snapped together and his arms snapped to his sides and Harry keeled over. Harry's wand was pointing straight up uselessly. Then, Harry had an idea. He wordlessly sent billows of thick white fog out of his wand until it surrounded him. As soon as he was sure Dumbledore couldn't see him, he broke out of the full body bind wandlessly. He spread the fog through the whole room, and snuck up behind Dumbledore. He tapped Dumbledore on the shoulder with his wand, simultaneously conjuring ropes to bind him in place.

"Impressive," said Dumbledore, his arms and legs quite as trapped as Harry's had been in the full body bind. He hopped around to face Harry. "This has been delightful. However, I do have another appointment in about ten minutes and must rearrange the room so that he does not have any grounds to add to his preconceived notion that I am quite daft indeed."

Harry chuckled. He removed the ropes on Dumbledore, but before Dumbledore moved, Dumbledore's down pointing wand turned the floor under both of their feet to ice. Harry slipped and fell on his back rather ungracefully with an "oomph," and managed to drag Dumbledore down with him. Harry looked over at Dumbledore like a puppy that'd just been kicked.

Dumbledore cringed. "Oh dear. I apologize," said Dumbledore sincerely, "This wand is a rather sore loser."

Harry remembered that it was the elder wand, and understood Dumbledore's predicament exactly. With that wand, Dumbledore wasn't capable of losing a duel. Though, now that Harry thought about it, it was more like a tie.

"No worries," said Harry, "Mine has been known to do strange things as well."

Dumbledore banished the ice, stood, and reached his hand down to Harry. They grasped hands and Harry allowed himself be pulled up.

Fawkes took that exact moment to appear somewhere in the fog that Harry had conjured earlier. Harry and Dumbledore saw a patch of fog flash orange, and then they heard Fawkes crashing into things, whistling absurdly.

Harry vanished the fog, and immediately spotted Fawkes sitting atop the frame of a portrait very close to the ceiling. He looked down and saw a sizable fire burning the dueling rug. Harry groaned.

"I see you weren't joking," said Dumbledore, amused.

"I hoped I was," said Harry, putting out the fire and repairing the rug.

Dumbledore sighed and smiled, "Ah, children."

Harry rolled his eyes. With a proud croon, Fawkes swooped down and landed on Harry's arm, making him lose his balance and nearly fall over.

"And now, Mr. Crockett," said Dumbledore, as he removed and folded the flowery bathrobe, underneath which was a full set of midnight blue robes, "You'll have to excuse me. I really must rearrange my office. My other guest will be here momentarily. However, as a trip to Hogwarts would hardly be complete without both magic and a meal, as Fawkes has already discovered, and I must insist that you stay for lunch."

"I would be delighted," said Harry.

Dumbledore beamed. "Well, then, I trust you will be able to find something to do around the grounds until I am through. I assure you, my next meeting won't be nearly as enjoyable as this one has been, and as a consequence will not be as long. I will meet you in the great hall?"

"Yes, thank you. And thank you for the interview, sir," said Harry.

They shook hands. Fawkes leaned down Harry's arm to put his head where their hands met. Harry was puzzled. Harry and Dumbledore looked at each other.

"Man, what's with the FOMO today, Fawkes?"

"What is FOMO?" asked Dumbledore.

"FOMO is Fear of Missing Out, but..."

Fawkes fluttered to stand on Dumbledore's desk. He vanished in a burst of flame, and returned a moment later with his perch.

"Oh," said Harry, turning red, "and it looks like he's interested in seeing your meeting. Fawkes, this is turning from FOMO into PhOMO. Phoenix Observation, Major Overreach.""

"And I would be a spoil sport indeed if I deterred him," said Dumbledore.

Harry suspected that the vessel for his soul was becoming a little too attached to Dumbledore. However, he couldn't bring himself to worry.

"Are you sure, Professor? He's really, I mean, I could probably..."

Fawkes flipped upside down on the perch for a moment, and then reappeared in a burst of flame right side up. Flipping himself...the whole bird flipped— he flipped the bird. "Did you just—,"

"He's fine to stay. Good luck with your exploration," said Dumbledore, and Harry exited the headmaster's office. Phoenixless.

Harry rode the spiral staircase down, and passed between the gargoyles. He was walking down the corridor, when a door opened in front of him, and none other than Lord Voldemort stepped out. Voldemort closed the door, still facing the other direction and began muttering inaudibly to himself.

"So you're the eleven-o-clock?" asked Harry loudly.

"You!" snarled Tom, spinning around.

"Me!" said Harry, grinning excitedly.

"What are you doing here?" Tom snapped.

"Oh, I was just up getting myself the position of Defense against the Dark Arts teacher…now I think I'll go talk to myself in the woods a bit," replied Harry.

It took a moment for Voldemort to understand what Harry'd said. His eyes widened in rage. Before Voldemort could do anything, Harry strode over to where the door had vanished. It was the room of requirement. Clearly, Voldemort had been hiding the diadem.

"What are you doing here? Oh, curses on all that is lost, the door's gone! Now I'll never know!" Harry said dramatically.

Voldemort blanched. Harry had caught him red handed and Voldemort had no response for the moment. He almost looked guilty.

However, he soon regained his composure, pulled out his wand, and held it over Harry's heart. He and Harry stood only a pace apart.

"Have you been following me?" he asked, anger and fear dripping from his voice.

"Let's just say that I know everything you have ever or will ever do, Mr. Riddle, but I have better things to do than follow you. You'll have people for that anyway, if you don't already."

"Oh really, Mr. Crockett,"he spat, "And did you know about this? Avada—"

"Oh, no. You don't want to do that," said Harry smoothly, "see, Dear Albus Dumbledore will know if you use any unforgivable curses inside Hogwarts, and he won't be very happy about you eliminating the competition, will he? I thought not. Anyway, I'll catch you later. I'll still be around after your meeting if you want to try to maim me more legally. Harry walked down the hall and was around the corner before Voldemort could think of a retort.

Voldemort was surprised to find snow on his shoulders, despite the summery air.

Harry went down stairs, taking shortcuts through tapestries and finding invisible staircases. He was going over what he remembered of Dumbledore's meeting with Voldemort, and first, he remembered that Dumbledore had said it was a snowy evening. Harry chuckled, getting an idea as he exited the building, and pulled out his broom.

He flew up above Dumbledore's tower and cast a darkening charm. Then he made it snow outside the windows. He knew from his memories that Dumbledore would play along with the new weather, and knew instinctively that it would infuriate Tom. He sat on the roof and enjoyed the summer day around his miniature storm. Then, he remembered that Fawkes would probably have vanished without a trace from Hagrid's hut. He flew down from the tower and landed outside Hagrid's hut. He knocked on the door, and Hagrid pulled it open.

"Mr. Crockett, sir! 'm so sorry! I los' yer bird! 'E was 'ere, 'n then he was gone! Burst into flame, 'e did!"

"Hagrid, calm down," said Harry, "He's with Dumbledore."

"Oh," said Hagrid.

"He's having a meeting."

"Oh," said Hagrid.

"So, I heard that you keep the largest heard of domestic thestrals in Britain," said Harry.

It took very little convincing of Hagrid and a pile of bloody meat conjured by Harry, and very soon, a skeleton-like black head poked out of the forest, sniffing the air. The thestral came out into the open, its leathery skin glinting in the sunlight. Harry reached out to pet it

"You've seen someone die, then?" Hagrid asked confidently.

"Yes," said Harry.

"Who?" asked Hagrid, a little too enthusiastically.

"My mother," said Harry, "and a classmate. And my godfather, and a house-elf I was very close to, a traitor, a friend, a foe, a very brave man who sacrificed his life to protect me, and my mentor. Also my owl."

"Blimey, I'm sorry!" said Hagrid.

"Don't worry about it;" said Harry, "It was a long time ago."

"I saw me dad die," said Hagrid, unnecessarily trying to distract Harry from grief that he had already put behind him.

"Oh," said Harry, "I'm sorry."

"But then Dumbledore took me in. Great man, Dumbledore."

"Not a half bad wizard either," said Harry.

They both heard a bang as the front door of the castle slammed shut. They both turned to look. Voldemort was striding out of the castle towards them.

"CROCKETT!" he bellowed. Apparently he hadn't mastered his cool quite yet.

"Tha's Tom Riddle, Mr. Crockett. Careful," warned Hagrid.

Harry acknowledged Hagrid and turned to Voldemort. "Oh, good, you didn't forget," he said.

Dumbledore appeared at the top of the steps to the castle, Fawkes on his shoulder. Voldemort whipped out his wand.

"Cruccio!" he screeched.

"Come on, Tom. We talked about this," said Harry, walking towards Voldemort and sidestepping the curse. Voldemort kept sending curses at Harry, and each one missed. Harry was using a deflecting spell that made it look like Voldemort was simply aiming badly.

"Oh, come on. You're doing it all wrong," said Harry when he was three paces away. "You have to aim first," Harry pointed his wand directly at Voldemort's face, "and then fire. He shot a spell and it landed directly on Voldemort's nose which immediately started shrinking and flattening. The nostrils became slits.

"Hmm, that's a good look for you," chuckled Harry, "I mean; your friends'll probably think you're very pretty…if your preferred company is slithery blokes like you, anyway. This has been fun. Let's do it again some time, but right now I have a lunch date with Dumbledore. He's behind you, you know."

Tom spun around and spotted Dumbledore, leaning against a wall with his arms folded, eyes twinkling with an emotion Harry could not identify.

Harry coughed, and Tom realized that he had let Harry out of his sight. Voldemort straddled himself so that he could see both Harry and Dumbledore. He licked his lips, realizing that he couldn't win against both of these wizards, let alone one. He huffed, and swished his cloak around him dramatically, and stomped off towards the gate. His exit would have been impressive, had he not looked over his shoulder ever few seconds to make sure Harry hadn't raised his wand.

However, Harry had lowered his occlumency once more and reached out with his record-instinct aura. The moment after it touched Riddle, he spun around.

"How are you doing that?" he demanded.

"Doing what?" Harry asked.

Voldemort obviously didn't want to say "giving me a hard on from twenty feet away without using your wand," and so did not have a response.

He stuttered, "Being—so—so—weak!" and with that he fled the premises.

When he was gone, Hagrid started clapping. Harry turned his head to look at him.

"Wha'?" he asked in response to Harry's look, "Seems ter me, 'ol Tom had tha' commin. Nobody ner' bested him at nuthin."

"He never took a manners class, then," said Harry, "Thank you for showing me the thestrals, Hagrid. I hope we'll be able to talk more."

"Yer welcome, Harry. 'M sure yel get the job aft'r tha' show."

"Thank you Hagrid."

"Enjoy yer lunch," he said, and Harry made his way back up to the castle where Dumbledore was still leaning on the wall.

"And what was that, may I ask?"

"I was defending myself against dark arts," said Harry.