I do not own anything besides these words and the cover art.

Sanji carried everything Perona had. He even offered to carry her, and she might have taken up his offer if she did not prefer to watch his tiny bum wiggle in front of her. She preferred it after all.

"You know, Sanji, I always prefer my men a bit more docile…but I think I like it when you take charge."

"Weeee, my precious peony. Tell me your deepest desires and I will be at your beck and call."

She gave him a little squeeze of his ass cheek. "Keep talking like that and I'll have to hold you down."

He squirmed in pleasure but turned obediently. "You mean hold me to it?"

She stood on her toes. "No, I mean to hold you down. Did you forget all those fun toys we had, Sanji?"

Sanji's breathing picked up and his legs grew wobbly. "Miss Perona, I-"

She put a sharp claw to his lips and traced them delicately, "Tsk, Mistress Perona, Teddy."

"Mistress…" He was like pudding in her grasp, and she thought of delicious ways she could make him scream her name or whatever else she desired right in the middle of the hallway. However, her acute hearing noticed another conversation. Sanji was mumbling musing, but she quickly placed a hand over his mouth, and he nearly lost his consciousness.

"Shush! Sanji, listen!"

They both grew silent and waited for the conversation to reach their ears again.

"Ah, Zoro! If you do it like that, you'll hurt me."

Perona and Sanji's eyes grew wide, in amazement and curiosity. Over the weekend, Sanji was able to spill the beans on his lost love, and Perona was not one to box people based on their desires. Upon learning more, she told him she had met his muscular and angry roommate with none other than the orange-haired burglar everyone seemed to love. Sanji briefly spiraled into praises and Perona went to work to punish him for getting so easily distracted in her presence, however, now the two sneakily shuffled over to the apartment door and pressed their ears to it. The voices came through clearer. They heard shuffling and huffing, and the distinct squeak of the upholstered couch.

"Witch, I told you last time. Give me more space, I can't fit like this!"

"It's as open as I can make it. You need to put in more effort."

"No, you need more toys. Just one is not enough, is it?"

"Zoro, wait! Not from behind, don't! "

"You said you preferred me behind you. Damn it, Nami!"

"Yes! Yes, uh, wait! Shoot! I'd have you in the front if you'd give me a better angle but your coverage is shit."

"Again, you seem to want it all. I'm going in. Watch out!"

"Ah, wait! No! I'm dying, I'm dying! Shit, shit! You can't-"

"You need to take it! You can see it, can't you? Nami, fucking just take it! I'm almost at my limit!"

At this point, Sanji heard the cries of a damsel in distress, and he rammed into the door, but Perona had twisted the doorknob so Sanji zoomed in and made contact with the wall. Zoro and Nami jumped from the couch, game controls still in hand, and headphone pulled off their ears. Perona poked her head in and fumed. "Are you kidding me? You were just playing a video game. We thought you were fucking!"

Zoro and Nami looked from their game screen to an unconscious Sanji on the floor. Nami was the first to speak. "Why…why would you think we were…um-"

Perona began in her breathy voice, which mocked the pair. "Uh, Zoro! Yes, take me! Nami, you like it from behind! Just take it!" She looked at the red-faced pair who fumbled with the controllers yet again though their game had long since ended. "But no…what do I get? Two nerds playing what is this? Call of Dudle? Black cops ill?"

Zoro started to snicker while Nami stared at Perona unamused. "Perona, I swear. Did you ever pass kindergarten? Do you know how to read? It's clearly Call of Duty: Black OPS 3."

"Oh, I think I know a porno like that. But its call black cocks-"

Nami stopped her quickly, "Nope, okay. Enough. I was just showing Zoro how to play because apparently the man can swing a fist but precise movements with his fingers on some buttons elude him."

Perona snickered, "I know one button his fingers-"

"Alright!" Zoro stopped Perona with a quick gesture and glanced at his unconscious roommate on the floor. "I assume he was with you this entire time?"

Perona glanced between Nami and Zoro and smiled, "Hmmm. Yes. All weekend…and then some. We did all the things grown up do…but I feel like something is different between you two. Trying to make it disappear?" Perona grinned, "But just like the battle of Troy, there's nothing subtle here." Perona squinted at them as they both stiffened, "What kind of crazy shit did you two get into while we were away?"

"What?" Zoro asked dubiously, unsure why he felt the need to protect himself around Perona. Regardless he sighed at the passed out Sanji and walked into the kitchen for some water, which he promptly threw on Sanji.

Sanji coughed to life and quickly got back on his feet. "Why you damn brute! How dare-"

Perona quickly snapped her fingers and Sanji was down. "Hush. It was just a game."

Zoro looked at his friend who was whimpering on the ground like some dog to the pink haired woman who apparently trained him to do it at her call. He eyed Nami who gave him a weary shrug in response. "Okay. The force from the underworld, get out of my house before Sanji starts chasing his imaginary tail."

Perona giggled. "Oh, we haven't even gotten to that part and I'm trying not to give in to you." She seemed to flick her wrist towards him as if to cast a spell, and Zoro wondered if his joke of calling her a demon was so far-fetched. She was certainly spooky.

Nami nodded and quickly pushed Perona out the door. "Come on, you freak. I'll drive you home."

Zoro stopped her briefly, "Wait, are you sure? What about-"

Nami gave him a smile, "Don't worry, I'll crash at Perona's, won't I?"

Perona looked from Zoro to Nami again and grinned, "What's wrong with your place, Nami? Did you two tear it up that much?" Nami gave her a blank stare while Zoro did not take his eyes of Nami, so Perona continued with a sigh, "Fine. As much as I detest company I can't…play with…the little thief can stay with me. As long as she tells me all the juicy details."

Nami rolled her eyes but Zoro would not let her go until she gave him a reassuring squeeze of his hand on his, "I'll see you tomorrow, huh? We got another session, remember?"

Zoro nodded and let her by, as Perona grinned broadly until Nami forced her towards the door. Perona first fought, "I see how the attention builds between you two! It's like looking in a mirror. Her touch is like a happy pill, huh, strong man? And you, little miss, why all the fear? What could possibly happen next? Can we focus on the love? Just tell me what happened!"

Both Nami and Zoro groaned at Perona's ramblings, but Nami easily overpowered her and so Perona waved a sad farewell and blew Sanji a kiss before Nami closed the door behind them.

"Oi, oi. She always freaks me out, you know?" Zoro said in finality.

Sanji drooled with a love sick stare at the door. "I like her."

Zoro rolled his eyes and got some more water to splash on Sanji, which woke him from his daze only to have him berate Zoro about messing up the house. He finally found some peace and quiet while Sanji busied himself with dinner. As Zoro flung himself onto his makeshift bed, he flicked through the channels and grabbed the blanket to throw over his body. He brought it to his nose and smiled. It smelled like her, and he found that quite pleasant.

He quickly went to sleep and Sanji was about to scream at him to get up, but Zoro seemed quite too peaceful. Sanji wanted to give him a better blanket, but Zoro practically growled in his sleep at Sanji attempt to change the soft fabric. He leaned down quickly and smiled himself. The man really was in too deep with his new friend…but Sanji frowned as he went over the small fragments Perona could tell him about Nami.

Regardless of the truth, Sanji was sure he would have to pick up the pieces of someone's broken heart and that broke him. Every logical thought told him to tell Zoro, but then he glanced back down at the barefaced smile and Sanji could not bear to see that disappear so soon. Besides, Sanji was a bad liar. This was as much for Zoro as it was for Sanji. Seeing Zoro happy was worth it. He hoped.

Music Inspiration/Theme: "Bad Liar" (Selena Gomez)