Chapter 4 - When I Broke my Promise
Timeskip - 3 years later (11 years old)
'A change-up, huh?' I interpreted Kazuya's signals as he places his glove near the batter's legs. 'Okay, Kaz, eat this!'
A nickname I've given him after he made fun of my pronunciation. "It's Ka-zu-ya, not Ka-zoo-ya." "You know what? Kaz, I'm calling you Kaz" He laughed even more, "Okay, Yan."
I threw the pitch. The batter went for the swing, completely missing the timing. The ball landed safely in Kazuya's glove.
"Strikeout! Edogawa Dragons wins the Little League Summer Tournament!" The announcer shouts. The crowd cheered as my team sprinted towards the mound. I stood still in disbelief, 'We won? We-'
My thought was cut off by the sight of Kazuya jogging towards me, lifting his helmet off. Seeing his grin as he mouthed 'Nice Ball' was worth more than winning the game. Suddenly, the sight of him was covered by everyone tackling me. I was then placed onto a light headlock while my hair was being ruffled. I couldn't see anyone's face, but I could hear them celebrating. "Good job, Yanagi!" Everyone shouted, all out of sync. I was suddenly let go when I brought my head up, it was the sight of my teammates jumping at each other. I laughed at their antics. "Good job, everyone!" I yelled over them while lifting both my arms around my teammates' shoulders.
This was our last year playing together in the Little League. We, the older kids, were graduating from our elementary schools this year. The next time we'd see each other, we'd be representing our junior high school in the summer.
I looked around for Kazuya over the crowd, trying to find the little guy. But before I could spot him, my attention moved towards the umpire, shouting at us to line up.
I stood at my spot, watching the other team. They were trying hard not to cry while others looked ashamed of themselves. Every game we won, I would see this sight, and it made winning feel a bit guilty. It was a bitter feeling I knew too well for the past 3 years I've been on this team. But I held my head proud as the ace. The win today was our last win as a team.
"Edogawa Dragons wins with a 5-4 score. Bow!" The umpire shouted. "Thanks." Both teams yelled while we bowed our heads. We began to head to the dugout.
"How about we learn a breaking ball after this?" I jolted from the sudden surprise. It came from Kazuya. I finally registered his suggestion that excitement overfilled my face. "No way, Kaz? Are you lying to me?" I held his shoulders, shaking it. "If you keep shaking me, I'll take it back." I let go of him instantly and pleaded with him not to change his mind. "Well, since we're turning 12 soon, I think your body could handle it." Kazuya reasoned himself. I smirked, seeing an opening to attack him, "So you think about my body, huh?" I covered my mouth with my hand while letting out a little chuckle. "Must be puberty," I muttered loud enough for him to hear. Kazuya gave me a disgusted look,
"Look, Yan, I'm not into guys."
"-not into guys." I joined him halfway.
We both gave each other a look and then laughed. Though it would be a lie to say, I didn't feel guilty. Every time Kazuya would mention something about being a guy, I could feel a combined feeling of shame, frustration, and anxiety fill inside me. Since the start, I've been meaning to correct him on everything. It was just hard to find the right timing, and every right timing was like choking on my own words.
After all the practices and batteries we've formed, I didn't wanna give up any of it. I didn't want to break the trust and friendship we had. I didn't want to change to another team, and I didn't want a different catcher. All I wanted was Kazuya to be at the receiving end of my pitching. More 'what-if' situations ran crazy in my head. I was being selfish, and I knew that fully well.
"Yan! Hey Yan!" Kazuya was trying to get my attention. I looked over at him.
"Everyone's leaving now. Are you okay?" I nodded my head, "Sorry, I was imagining which breaking ball I'd be throwing." I grinned at him. He gave a soft laugh, "Baseball idiot." He said under his breath before he followed everyone who already left. I followed him immediately after.
We rushed towards the bus, noticing that everyone was already boarding it. I took my seat right beside Kazuya.
"So how's Kubomachi?" His question took me off guard. We barely talk on the bus, and he would usually be reading something about baseball. I figured it was because we were graduating soon. "Not bad. I'm a star student, you know." He just let out a puff at my remark. I decided to ignore it. "You? How's Edogawa?" I asked him in return. He just shrugged, "I'm doing okay. Are you still planning to go to Edogawa after?" I nodded vigorously at him. "Yeah! My dad promised me I can join the same junior high as you." He hummed at my response. I figured he just wanted to confirm my promise. I smiled a little, letting the conversation dial down to a comfortable silence.
We attended different schools since my mom urged me to attend a private school. Just in case, if I'd ever return to America, my education wouldn't fall behind. But Kubomachi was horrible, no girl wants to play with a tomboy, and no boy wants to play with a girl. I sighed under my breath, 'I have no friends other than Kaz. I must've hit rock bottom.' I wished I attended Edogawa since it was probably the easiest way to show him that I'm a girl.
Plus, it would've made our routine all these years easier. After school, I would usually change into my gym clothes then jog my way to the field near the river. It was our meetup spot to practice since the baseball field would usually be busy. During rainy days and winter, I would usually head my way home to change out of my uniform and grab a couple of things, then head to Kazuya's house.
On the weekends, it's usually Kazuya visiting my place since my dad would be home. We would practice in the backyard with his supervision. My dad has taken a liking to Kazuya, mostly for the common interest they share in being a catcher. They would usually take the whole day just talking about it. I could never butt in because ' You're a pitcher, you're the reason for our pain.'
There were barely any days that Kazuya and I weren't together. I didn't hate it at all, but I would never tell Kazuya that.
"We're together too much," I told Kazuya jokingly. As we were near our destination. The bus has been stopping near our teammates' houses, and our stop was near. "You only realize that now?" Kazuya looked at me, bewildered. "What? I'm great company!" I told him as I stood up when the bus came to our stop. He snorted, "Ha! Why don't you have friends then?" "Like you have any either!" We both got off the bus, saying goodbye to the team.
We started to walk our way home. "So forkball? Knuckle? Submarine? Splitter?" I started the conversation. "I was thinking of a curveball since it might be easier for you." He told me. I nodded at him, respecting his decision since Kazuya always took baseball seriously, especially concerning his pitchers. Since a year ago, I've repeatedly asked him about pitching a breaking ball, but he'd give the same answer of not wanting to injure my elbow in the long run.
We finally arrived at Kazuya's. "So, let's celebrate at my place?" I asked him. He nodded, "Sure, I'll meet you there in 30."
I finally arrived at my house and as soon as I opened the door. My dad was right at the doorway, surprising me. "Congrats!" I stumbled a little, "Dad! But how about work?" "I took an early leave for today." He told me as he dragged me to the dining room. The table was covered by a mountain of food, and my mouth gaped. "How were you sure we were gonna win?" He just laughed. "I just knew. Where's Kazuya?" "He should be coming soon." I focused on the food, it consisted of both Kazuya and my favourite, there's even a matcha cake in the middle that read 'Congratulations Yanagi and Kazuya!"
My dad knew about my situation with Kazuya. He always reminded me to confront him and warned me for taking too long. It was now gonna hurt our friendship either way, but I wanted to prolong it as much as possible. My dad understood my point and followed my wishes, but he was open about disagreeing with my choice.
I smiled at my dad and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you, Dad. Now don't touch the food!" I rushed to the washroom to grab a quick shower and to get ready.
As soon as I was finished. Ding-dong! Kazuya was here. I rushed down the stairs, with my hair still wet. I opened the door, greeted by Kazuya's surprised face. He was holding a closed container in his hands. "You're going to catch a cold." "Shut up. Come in, come in." I told him since I wanted him to see the surprise. I took the container from his hands and pushed him towards the dining room. My dad was there, setting the table and grabbing drinks.
"Congratulations, Kazuya." My dad greeted him. "Thank you, Maki-san." Kazuya bowed towards him. My dad had introduced himself as Maki to Kazuya, and he would sometimes urge to call him 'dad' as a joke, which would make Kazuya a little nervous. I handed over the container to my dad.
Kazuya finally noticed the food on the table. He tried not to show it, but I knew he was completely beaming inside. Kazuya had a light blush and a smile on his face. It made me proud, 'I'm glad we won.' I thought. We both sat down at our seats right beside each other. Kazuya talked about the game today with my dad while I would sometimes interject. Kazuya was talking a lot, 'He must be really happy.' I thought, smiling to myself. It was a little tell I noticed over the years with Kazuya when he's happy, he talks a lot.
We finally finished eating, and it was getting late. "I should get home soon before it gets dark," Kazuya told us. "Should I drop you off?" My dad offered. "No, it's okay." "Okay, give me a second to pack you some leftovers." Kazuya only nodded.
As Kazuya was getting ready, I was on the door beside him. "Kaz, let's practice here tomorrow?" I asked him. "Sure." It was Saturday tomorrow, and it would be better for my dad to watch my form while I throw a breaking ball. My dad came behind me and handed him a container. Kazuya bowed his head, "Thank you for the meal," then headed his way out. I waved goodbye as I watched him leave.
As soon as I closed the door. "Mari, we need to talk." My attention went to my dad. It was usually rare to see him act seriously. "Okay..." as I followed him to the living room. My palms were starting to sweat, 'Is there something wrong?' I thought while standing in front of my dad.
"You can sit down." I sat down on the couch while my dad sat in front of me on the coffee table. "I got a call from your mom today." I nodded, not sure where this was going. "It seems like we'll be moving to America the next month." My breath hitched. "What?" "We'll be moving-" My dad's voice drowned out, and everything around me started to feel heavy.
'Me? Moving to America? Why now? You promised I'd be in the same school as Kaz. Wait! How about Kaz? I still haven't confronted him, now I have to tell him I'm moving too? How about baseball? How about-' My mind kept asking questions after questions. "Mari-"
"Dad! I don't want to go to America!" I yelled at him, my eyes starting to tear up. "Honey, your mom hasn't seen you in three years. You have to understand her point too." "But how about you?" "I'm coming too. I've been temporarily transferred back to America for now." "Then how about Kaz? He's gonna be alone!" Trying to find a way out of this even though I knew it was pointless. "Kazuya is strong enough to be on his own." I bit my lip, I started to burst out tears. I didn't want this.
"I don't want to move!" I yelled in between tears. My dad tried his best to comfort me by wiping my tears with some tissues.
"I'll return to Japan in no time for work. When I do, you could come visit me." He told me reassuringly. "What if I wanna live with you?" I asked, slightly hopeful of the compromise. My crying was slowly coming to a stop, and my voice was growing hoarse. "You'd have to ask your mom about that. So, for now, I can promise that you can visit me, okay?" I nodded, still unhappy with the situation.
"Good, now get ready for bed. You have a busy day tomorrow."
Be-be-be-beep! Be-be-be-beep!
My alarm clock went off. I quickly turned it off before groaning. It was 8:00 am. I barely had any sleep.
I got up from my bed. It wasn't like I could go back to sleep anyway. I did a quick stretch before lying down on the side of my bed. 'America, huh?' A part of me didn't want to go, but a part of me knew if I went, my baseball skills would improve for the better. I sighed deeply and looked back at the clock.
'Kazuya will be here in a couple of hours. How should I tell him? Should I do it today? Or…' I shook my head and lightly slapped my cheeks. 'No! If I don't tell him now, I never will, just like everything else I have to tell him…' I got up from my bed and headed to the kitchen. My dad greeted me as soon as I stepped through the door.
"Morning Hun," I grunted back since I was still mad at him. My dad took notice of it but kept talking, "So what's the plan for today?" I moved my head to the side, trying to make it obvious I was ignoring him. "Listen, Mari, we're moving, and that's final." My dad told me sternly. Which caused my mood to turn even bitter, "I don't want to!" I turned around to go back to my room. I quickly changed my clothes and washed up. I grabbed my bag before I headed out of the house.
"Oy, Mari! Where do you think you're going?" My dad followed me and stopped at the gate. "To Kazuya's!" I shouted back at him. He let out a sigh but turned around back to the house, letting me go. It was a short trip from my place, and after a couple of minutes, I was already here. I slowly wandered inside their property and peeked my head inside the doorway of the factory. Kazuya's dad was already working. I slightly bowed and whispered, "Good morning, Miyuki-san," before heading towards their house.
I was in front of their door, wondering if Kazuya was awake. 'Hmm, he's not much of a morning person.' I kept pressing on the doorbell until Kazuya answered. After a couple of minutes, I could hear someone shuffling to the door, "I'm coming." "I'm coming." He kept repeating, sounding a little annoyed. As soon as he opens the door, his irritated face and bed hair all said I've woken him up. "Good morning, Kaz," I said with a smile. He slammed the door on my face. I immediately repeatedly kept pressing on the doorbell and knocking on his door, resulting in it to be fully swung open. I saw him walking towards the kitchen. I closed the door behind me and followed to see him turning the stove on.
"Great! I'm hungry!" I told him, attempting to make his mood better. Though it seemed to have the opposite effect, "Didn't you eat already?" "Nope, as soon as I woke up, I came here." "Yan, I see you every day, at least let me have some sleep..." I laughed and sat on the dining chair, watching him cook. "What are you cooking?" "Fried rice and eggs." I hum to his response. I stayed quiet for a while, leaving him to cook, while I turned the TV on, watching some baseball relays. After some time, Kazuya places a plate in front of me. We started to eat in silence, Kazuya almost rarely was in a talking mood during the mornings, and he'd usually perk up after a couple of hours. I finished my food and sat there while I waited for him. As soon as he finished, he stood up and grabbed our plates.
"Yan, you know you could at least help." As he went back to the kitchen to place the dirty plates on the sink. I head my way to sit on his couch and let out a sigh. 'It's now or never.'
"Nee, Kazuya..." I trailed off. I rarely call him by his name, which quickly got his attention. "Yeah?" He moved near me and sat on the ground right by my feet with his back turned towards me.
It was the least he could do at the moment. I was glad for it. I hated confrontation, and he knew that. Every time I had to confront him, he would always turn his back or face a different direction from me to make it a little easier for me.
"I... I'm not going to Edogawa next year." He fell silent for a bit before speaking up, still not turning his face towards me, "That's fine, I'll finally know how it's like to play against you" I shook my head, fighting back my tears. It was getting harder to talk. "No, it's not that." He finally turned his head towards me and looked at me, confused.
"I'm moving back to America this September," I told him with a heavy heart. Tears began to leave my eyes until I was bawling. Kazuya was taken back. This was one of the couple times he's seen me cry like this. He froze in place for a minute while I tried so hard to stop crying. The more tears I wiped, the harsher my tears fell. I sensed Kazuya standing in front of me, and he didn't know what to do. He sat down beside me and placed his hand slowly and gently on the back of my head before bringing me down to his chest. I stopped crying for a second to realize what he was doing.
I cried even harder. This was the first time Kazuya comforted me like this. "Stop being a giant crybaby." I tried to muffle my cries on his shirt. He sighed, not knowing what to say, "Haaa... It's gonna be fine, Yan." "No, it's not! I wanted to keep playing baseball with you." "Well, you can play baseball with me for the rest of the time you're here." "No! That's different! You're gonna be lonely without me, Kaz." He chuckled a little bit. "I'm gonna be fine without you." "I promised I'll go to Edogawa with you." "Well, some promises are meant to be broken." I stopped crying, but my head stayed on his chest while clenching on his shirt. No matter what I'm gonna say, he always had something to counter it.
"How am I gonna learn to throw a curveball?" Tilting my head up to meet his face. We met each other's eyes and instantly blushed at how close our faces were. We both immediately pulled away from our positions. Kazuya let out a cough to break the silence, "As I said, we still have a month left." I leaned on him again, this time on his shoulder. "Promise me you're gonna be fine, Kaz?" I started to mumble. My eyes began to feel heavy from the crying. Before I could hear his answer, I fell asleep on his shoulder.
Third Person's POV (Yanagi mentioned as him/he)
Kazuya took notice of Yanagi sleeping. He leaned on the pitcher's head and decided it was fine to answer him truthfully. He mumbled under his breath,
"I'm not sure if I will be, Yanagi."