Inspired by a running joke in my story "Secret potions club". This does not take place in the SPC world however.

It is based more in the main HP universe.

From chapter two onward I will be aiming to include five potions per chapter until we reach the 101. Assuming I can think of 101. I may need suggestions. :)

Tap Tap Tap

"Maybe it would look better on the left?" Ron suggested.

Tap Tap Tap Tap

"Or against that other wall." Said Ginny.

Tap Tap Tap.

"It needs to be closer to the window." Harry argued.

Tap Tap Tap Tap Tap.

"Are any of you going to let that owl in?" Hermione snapped, dropping a box of random items onto the bed and skirting around her friends to open the window.

Neville stood in the centre of the room, intently focused on the old dresser his Gran had gifted him for his new flat. He was grateful for his friends help moving him in but they had been arguing about this for almost an hour now and nothing else had been done at all.

"I like it where it is." He calmly decided.

"But.."

Whatever 'but' Ron had to give was interrupted by his fiancé.

"Neville. You….have a parcel." That much wasn't a surprise to anyone, they had all seen the owl after all, even if they had all ignored it in favour of the dresser argument. "It's from Professor Snape"

All of them turned as one, identical looks of shock upon their faces. Surely, they had misheard? The young woman stood holding small parcel wrapped in simple brown paper with instructions on the front written in a very familiar scrawl, for Neville Longbottom.

"But he's dead" Ron helpfully supplied.

They all winced at even this partial reminder of the battle of Hogwarts which had taken place just over a year ago. Harry had told them all about the sacrifice Snape had made during the battle and his actions on behalf of Dumbledore. It had given them all a degree of sympathy towards the now deceased Potions Master.

Although, despite everything he had seen, all the death and destruction of the battle itself and the many injustices that preceded it, Neville still wasn't sure that if you stood him in front of a boggart once more it wouldn't take the familiar form of the surly professor.

"It's post-dated" Hermione informed them, checking the envelope, "he arranged before he died for it to be sent now"

"But why is he sending me a package?" Neville asked, his eyes wide with confusion and a little fear. "What would he even want to send me of all people?"

"Only one way to find out mate" Harry told him.

They all leaned in as Neville split open the paper surrounding the package, each of them itching with curiosity. They all held their breath as he peeled it away.

It was a book.

It was clean and newly printed. A card tucked between the book and the packaging stated it was from 'Touglleton and Boggs' publishing house.

Neville couldn't describe the feeling that he experienced as he read the title, it might have been horror, or wonder, or humour, or fear, or all of the above and maybe some more. It was certainly not a feeling he had ever had before or ever really wanted to experience again.

This couldn't be real, he told himself.

There was no way.

It was ridiculous.

Snape wouldn't have.

Couldn't have.

"101 ways to weaponize potions previously thought to be harmless. As discovered by Neville Longbottom and compiled by Severus Snape"

"Bloody hell" Ron cried out in shock "Are you telling me that moody old git actually had a sense of humour the whole time?"

…..

Preface by the Author

At the time of writing I have been a Professor of Potions Brewing at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for a little under fourteen years.

I began writing this book around four years ago, following the arrival of a student by the name of Neville Longbottom. Admittedly I didn't realise I would be writing a book until two years after that and many descriptions of the earlier potions are based on what I could find of my own teaching notes.

In all my years of teaching I have never known a student so hopelessly inept at potions brewing and cannot recall a single occasion wherein he produced a correctly formulated product without the extensive assistance of a classmate. (She knows who she is) You can imagine my shock of course when I realised that despite his hopelessness, and in fact because of it, he had miraculously invented an entire range of new potions I had never encountered before. Every one of them deadly.

As a helpful guide, or perhaps a warning of the lethal consequences of incorrect potion brewing I have compiled as many of these as I could recall into this book.

I can't exactly say I have enjoyed writing this because honestly every lesson with this boy has been something of an ordeal but I can say it has at least been a valuable learning experience. (For me, not him. I truly don't think he has learned a single thing in all my lessons)

Please do not try at home.

Or if you do, please brew responsibly.