Twenty-One - Local numbing cream

All over numbing cream. The whole body loses all feeling.

Not immediately dangerous; but here's the catch…it's not all the time. It stops and starts without warning, with variations of minutes, hours or days between occurrences.

I think it goes without saying that being numb all over is not a functional state. Without sensation a person will fall over. The come and go nature of this condition will inevitably cause the user to have an accident sooner or later. Probably falling down the stairs or something.

(Perfect for when you want to 'Make it look like an accident' since technically it will be. I might send out a few pots as gifts. Though that might seem a little suspicious since I don't send gifts. Ever.)

Made by adding two extra stalks of aloe vera and a pack of peppermint lozenges then rapidly cooling the potion with a chilling spell as it starts to boil over.

Twenty-Two - Pepper up potion

Intended to cure a common cold and provide gentle warming. Within the capability of any competent third year student.

I think by now we can agree that competent is not in Longbottom's vocabulary.

This version induces a deadly fever.

The drinker will literally boil alive, their body temperature steadily rising to dangerous levels over the course of approximately three minutes.

If you wanted you could hard boil an egg in their mouth. (I'm not saying you should. But you could. If you wanted. It would work.)

Paprika, cloves, dried mandrake and a stick of liquorish. Herbs can be added at any time during the brew. Liquorish needs to be added at the end.

I'm going to be honest I've started sneaking extra ingredients onto his table during brews just to see what happens. This is why the paprika and cloves were there. He brought his own liquorish.

Twenty-Three - All-purpose cleaning solution

An excellent cleaner as long as you don't touch it.

Removes all oily stains with 100% effectiveness.

Danger arises if solution comes into contact with skin. Even just a small splash is deadly as due to the nature of the solution it will spread across the skin actively seeking out the natural oils there and burning them away.

Dehydration is imminent.

Once again, I am not a biologist but I can say with confidence that skin needs oil to function properly.

I am well aware that many of my students mock me behind my back for being an 'oily git'; (an oily git with excellent hearing by the way) but in this instance I think even they will agree that too much is better than none at all. (Not that I am admitting to having too much. My skin is fine. I regret writing this note. Must remember to erase it before the final edit.)

Potion is formed by starting with a standard floor cleaning solution then adding an entire bottle of acetate and somehow flambéing the entire cauldron. Once the fire has been extinguished, stand back and do not touch.

Works beautifully on glass and metal surfaces if you are foolish enough to risk using it.

Twenty-Four - Confusing concoction

Magically induced dementia.

The world did not need this.

This one actually made me a little sad.

Not much mind you; I'm fine for most other people to sod off and die quite frankly, but a little.

Dementia isn't a fun or funny way to go.

I'm not going to post the method. It's going into the hole.

(As a side note; having a bottomless hole in my classroom floor is proving surprisingly useful. Not least because I am finally rid of those seizure inducing yellow and pink socks Dumbledore gave me for Christmas last year. I'm still half certain it was intended as an act of aggression.)

Twenty-five - Weedosoros

Given the young man's track record with potions intended to be harmless, I decided to test what would happen if he brewed something deadly by design.

Technically poisons are not meant to be taught until the fourth-year curriculum following sign off by both myself and Professor Dumbledore to say the student is competent to be trusted with such a task (not bloody likely in Longbottom's case) but I was impatient.

Thus, entirely without the Headmaster's knowledge or blessing (but I intend to be long retired and relaxing on a beach in Honoloulou before he ever finds out about it.) I had Longbottom brew a batch of Weedosoros poison.

He dropped his wand into the fire under the cauldron (How?) just as he reached stage three, having already substituted several unnecessary ingredients. The whole thing exploded. We barely survived.

I can't remember which substitutions were made and my notes were incinerated in the blast.

My ears are still ringing.

I'm going to go lay down once I've finished writing this.

Regretting everything.