xXXXx
As soon as their discussion ended, Alistair left the cave. He returned later that afternoon to find the Inquisitor reading outside in the orange light of the falling sun, undoubtedly waiting for him. When she saw him coming up the path, she bolted upright and met him halfway, her apology spilling out awkwardly. "I'm sorry-"
"I apologize-" His came nearly simultaneously so that their words jumbled in confusion.
Together they smiled timidly and Gwen spoke first. "I made a terrible assumption that we were friends with one another after fighting together. The reality is that other than stories and some random facts, I don't know you."
Alistair averted his eyes to the ground and pulled nervously on his ear. "True. Though, I assume that after my ridiculous and emotional outburst, you won't want to know me."
"No!" Gwen started, then tisked herself. 'I mean- yes, I do!"
He swayed in his step. "I said some disrespectful things."
Her cheeks lit up with a pink hue. "I was callous."
His hand reached up to rub his neck. "I… may have some trouble making strategic decisions in the grand scheme."
She piped up brightly. "But your field tactics are legendary."
"I don't know about legendary…" Alistair chuckled. "Your plan for the Western Approach is a better one, I didn't want to admit it, but it's true."
Gwen nodded slowly. "I think we'll make fine allies over time."
"Agreed."
Flushed, she nodded to calm herself and find her words. "We should start over."
"How so?"
She smirked and stated in a mock pleasant voice, holding out her hand to the man before her. "Hello, my name is Gwen. Research and fireballs are my specialty."
"I'm Alistair." He returned with a grin, shaking her hand firmly. "I can hack and slash my enemies from here to Orlais and not break a sweat."
.
When they returned from the entryway, the others could feel the tension between them fading. Gwen gathered the entire group together to make preparations for the next day.
Making herself comfortable on a barrel at the wooden table around which they discussed Corypheus the night before, she turned to speak with the Seeker, pointing to the pack of correspondences under the table. "I've got to take to the camp just south of here. I'll leave after breakfast tomorrow. It should only take a couple hours."
Cassandra sat on a nearby rock, rubbing a cloth along the length of her sword. "Very well, I'll prepare our packs."
The Inquisitor held up her hand. "Wait, there's no need for allof us to go. I'll only be gone a short while."
Alistair unpacked his bedroll and laid it out on the floor again. He turned to her with narrowed eyes. "Inquisitor, you shouldn't go alone, not with all the corpses walking around."
"I agree with the Grey Warden." Solas interrupted, standing as he spoke. "I will accompany you."
"Two mages?" The Warden stiffened his spine. "She might as well go alone."
He rolled his eyes. "I am quite capable of defending myself and the Inquisitor, if need be."
"Solas, you'll go with the rest, they'll need a healer if they encounter trouble."
"And should you encounter trouble? What then?" Alistair interjected. "Solas can go with the rest, but I'm coming with you."
The Inquisitor relented, nodding curtly to the Warden.
Varric and Hawke could be heard chatting in the adjoining chamber and Solas sat before the fire, organizing his collection of dried herbs.
Raising her voice, she called out so that all could hear her. "So, it's settled then: Alistair and I will deliver the reports to the camp, while the rest of you scout further south. Once we regroup, here, we'll all head north until we reach Caer Bronach and the dam." Gwen stated, pointing at various locations on the map of Crestwood.
Hawke sidled up to her, narrowing his eyes. "I don't understand why we're splitting up. And why are we meeting there?" He sneered, pointing to a drawing of a house.
The Inquisitor pointed to herself. "Our detour is important as those missives need to go out immediately; we only need a small group to make that happen. Simply, we cover more ground if we split. And there," Gwen pointed to the map, "is a small homestead."
Hawke tilted his head in confusion and Varric broke in, "Look, we promised we'd search the area for a missing woman from the village."
Gwen popped open her codex, flipping to a page near the front. "Judith, is her name."
Alistair held his chin in his right hand and rocked slightly, his entire face smiling at their interaction.
Gwen noticed his change in posture. "Something to add?"
"I've just been here before."
The small crowd shared a confused look.
"Not here as in Crestwood. What I meant is: I can remember being asked by every farmer or chantry sister to help with their menial tasks when I traveled during the Blight. I think it demonstrates patience and care that you'd go to the trouble, that's all."
Gwen gave him a warm smile. "Thank you. We're are trying to improve our reputation across Thedas, so it isn't completely selfless. Personally, I think the small deeds are the way to do it. Gossip travels so much faster and is far more effective than our wordy propaganda."
She closed her journal and began rolling up the map. "I think we're squared away then. Anyone have anything else to add before we finish up?
Heads shook all around and the band dispersed to their corners of the cave to pack up their accoutrements and wait for dinner.
.
Their tasks completed at last, they all decided to sit together, eat, and converse for the rest of the night. Thanks to Hawke, there was roast hare with horseradish and wild carrots for dinner and there was ale: a small oak barrel found in the cave. With six partaking, one being Hawke and one being a Warden, it was nearly emptied by the end of the night. Varric told several very captivating stories before Cassandra demanded that those not going on watch get some rest.
Feeling warm from the ale, Gwen needed some fresh air and so she went to speak with Solas before retiring herself.
He stood watch, leaning slightly against his staff. He turned when Gwen came out of the cave, his visage pensive.
"I just came to cool off a bit and to say goodnight. I'm sorry that you and I haven't had our usual evening debriefings these past two days."
"You're here now." He spoke, hopeful.
"And I'm exhausted... I just want to go to sleep."
Solas sighed softly with irritation.
"Fine." She gave in to him and plopped down ungracefully on the log next to him. Peering up at him she saw a small tinge of irritation in his eyes. "What's on your mind?"
"I dislike this plan, Inquisitor." As he sat, he spoke evenly, though his face was mired in worry. "That man was furious with you just hours ago. I do not trust him alone with you."
"I'll be fine, Solas. How would he benefit from harming me? We're allies, remember?" She stared at him, attempting to read his concealed emotions. "You're wondering why I want him with us, aren't you?"
"Yes." His answer came immediately.
"He will be an asset." She yawned and trailed off sleepily. "You should have seen him fight this morning."
"I saw the grisly remains and tended to his wounded shoulder at your behest. He is a powerful man, no doubt. I simply do not understand your decision to travel with him by yourself. Surely you could take Hawke, or Varric."
"And split them up? Varric is thrilled to be with his old friend. They aren't going to have a lot of time together after the Approach. Let's give them what we can. Besides, Alistair and I will be fine. It's just a short walk to the camp, then we'll meet you and continue on our way." Gwen placed her hand on his narrow shoulder.
She yawned wide. "Look, I really do need to sleep. Let us speak again tomorrow evening." She rose again and turned around toward their hideout. "I truly miss our talks and I could use another lesson on heal-"
"Inquisitor." He cut her off.
"Yes?" Gwen stopped, briefly.
He rose again and stood looking out at the twilight landscape. "Mingling desire and duty can be a dangerous game. Be wary."
Gwen's brow wrinkled in confusion and her chest panged with a sharp hurt, but she managed to respond, albeit weakly, "I don't know what you're insinuating but-"
He glanced at her with penetrating eyes, but did not speak, effectively cutting off her words and displaying his unhappiness at her actions in a single stare.
"Goodnight, Solas." She managed to whisper to him before turning to escape his knowing gaze.
She walked briskly into the cave and found her bedroll at its place next to Alistair. He was already underneath his blanket, his eyes were closed and he was breathing deeply. Gwen peered down at him as she settled onto her sleeping mat. Her insides twisted at the fresh memory of Solas' words.
She reached into her pack at her pillow and pulled out her personal journal and writing utensils.
...
10 Cloudsreach 9:41 Dragon
Is Solas correct? Should I strike Alistair from my mind? Should I have allowed him to go on to the Western Approach alone and unprepared? Cassandra agreed with me, right? Or did she just agree with me because I'm the Inquisitor?
Leliana says I need to relax and enjoy myself from time to time. Solas thinks I should be wary and not mix business with pleasure. And I have no idea what to do.
This man to my left, the one I'm watching as he sleeps… he makes my heart jumps a little. What does that mean? Is it excitement at traveling with a hero, infatuation, or something else?
I promised myself I'd have no doubts, no regrets. The journey is far from over, it's too soon to be second guessing my decisions.
Maker, give me the strength to see it through. Give me the poise to keep a level head.
I'm still not sure what to do about my feelings, but tomorrow is a new day and with its arrival, perhaps a new perspective on my dilemma.
…
Her journal stowed and her mind eased by her confession, Gwen laid down on her back and drifted off to sleep.
Beside her, two honey-brown eyes opened and found her face in profile. In another minute they closed again, though the curve of a smile was left on the Warden's face as he too fell asleep.
xXXXx
The scent of cooked eggs and meat, meant that breakfast was being prepared and Gwen rose happily from her bedroll. She found Cassandra making plates for everyone and helped her tear portions of bread for each and pour the last of their ale equally into six leather mugs. The women then roused the rest of their companions, besides Varric who was on watch.
Gwen pointed to Solas, "You wake him. He's impossible when he's walking in the Fade." She was still upset from his words the night before, a fact that the Seeker didn't need to know.
Cassandra growled lightly and walked over to him, kneeling beside him and shaking his arm in a fury.
The Inquisitor knelt next to Hawke and shook him roughly too. His eyes opened and he jumped with a start. "Got you back from the rough awakening at my watch." She grinned and stood up.
"You'd better let me get Alistair." Hawke's groggy voiced warned and he tried to stand, but stumbled.
Gwen shook her head. "Nonsense. Go, eat."
She knelt beside him and quickly reached out to touch his shoulder.
"No, Inquisitor." Hawke again warned. "Damn it, wait-"
No sooner had her fingers touched him, he sprung up and caught her right wrist in his right hand. He rolled his weight on top of her, pressing his body into hers forcefully. Her arm was pinched between the two of them and pressed into his unarmed chest. His other hand was threatening to tighten around her neck. His eyes were wild; like they were after their attack. Gwen swallowed hard. Her breath was ragged and she gripped his shirt tightly as she stared back into his eyes, frozen in confusion beneath him.
Hawke pulled at the man's shoulder to no avail, instead keeping Alistair's hand from encircling Gwen's neck. He kept at it until the Warden began to come into the waking world. It was a full minute before Alistair came to realize what he was doing and looked down into Gwen's startled eyes, horrified by what he'd done. He loosened and rolled away from her, sitting up immediately facing the other direction.
"Maker's breath! Didn't I warn everyone about waking me up?" He ran his hands roughly through his hair.
"I guess the Inquisitor forgot to jot that one down in her little notebook." Hawke said snidely, and chuckled, catching his breath on the floor of the cave with the pair.
Gwen slowly stood up, rubbing her wrist and neck. "Oh, I won't forget that piece of information ever again." She coughed out a laugh. "What happened? I barely touched you."
Hawke answered sardonically. "He gets nightmares. They're very vivid."
"Yes. That's putting it lightly." Alistair stood, now looking Gwen over for any harm he may have caused her. "It's a Grey Warden thing."
"Man's like a cobra." Hawke tipped his chin to Gwen. "Use your foot next time and be prepared to snap it away before he strikes."
Solas was awake now and he glowered at Alistair. The incident only fueled his uncertainty toward the Warden.
"Are you alright? I didn't hurt you, did I?" The Warden came to Gwen's side and reached for her wrist, examining it gently. His eyes lingered to her neck to check for bruises there.
The new sensation was so severely different from his actions moments ago that it would difficult to believe they had some from the same person, had Gwen not experienced it herself.
"Maybe some light bruising. It was my fault. No harm done. I was really only startled." She reassured him, pulling her hand back slowly.
"Breakfast is getting cold, people." Cassandra's voice rang out.
.
As the rest of the group finished packing up necessities, Gwen was in the deep of the cave with the Warden. He'd removed his armor after being wounded the day prior and was now attempting to get it back on.
"How goes it?"
She watched him with interest as he pulled on his boots up to his knees. Alistair finished and stood, stretching his arms over his head with a pained groan. He was wearing simple clothes: a cream-colored cotton shirt, open at the collar, revealing a braided gold chain that dipped below the shirt, and worn grey leather trousers. She spared a few moments to appreciate Alistair in this form: completely disarmed.
He called to her. "Just fine. I'll be right out."
She almost turned to leave, but stayed and watched him again as he pulled on his slate-blue gambeson with relative ease. She caught site of torn fabric below his shoulder and a bloodstain where he was shot, but it wasn't the only bloodstain on the garment. He then began to pull the heavy scale mail over his head but, when he reached his injured arm up high he gasped in pain. The other arm was tangled in the body of the garment.
She walked over quickly, a small laugh escaping as she came to his side. "Here: let me help you."
A long audible sigh escaped his lips and he reluctantly conceded, "Alright." His face reddened at the need for her assistance.
"Come here." Gwen pulled him gently.
He walked with her, still tangled in the mail. In order to stand taller than the Warden, she rose to stand on a rock in the cave and lifted the piece above him so that all he needed to do was raise his arms as it slid down his body. Gwen hopped lightly to the ground and smoothed the scale mail out around his frame and buckled the side ties. He tensed slightly as her hands moved over his shoulders and down his sides.
"Relax." She said smiling as she turned her back to retrieve the chest piece. "Alright. Ready for the rest?"
He nodded and she brought the chest piece up and onto his arms, one at a time, careful not to cause him any discomfort. As she pulled it into place she stood in front of him. She could feel his breath on her cheek. She fell into what seemed to be a familiar dance, moving around him quickly to fasten the buckles at the back.
The display was not lost on Alistair and he commented on it. "You're pretty good at this. Where did you squire?" He jibed in a low voice.
Her eyes lost their mirth and she looked up at him, unsure of what to say. His request was innocent enough, but her answer was quite personal. "I had a close friend in the Circle, a Templar... and I would help him into his armor from time to time. Not that this is as complicated as what Templars wear, but armor is armor. The layers are the essentially the same."
Alistair breathed out a short laugh. "Let me guess: you just happened help him out of it from time to time as well?" His voice was coated with amusement and a sly grin started to spread across his face.
Gwen looked down, ashamed at herself for speaking about her former lover in such a callous way. "Yes. We were… close. And before you go assuming anything else, it wasn't just a dalliance, I cared for him." She turned away from him to pick up the tasset piece.
Alistair's smile dropped. "Damn it, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. The words just came without thought." He turned around and walked toward her and placed a hand lightly on her shoulder. "I forget we only just met yesterday and I should keep a professional tone. The comment was uncalled for and I apologize."
"No, it's alright, really. My tone has been less than professional as well. And regarding the Templar... I just haven't had a lot of time to think about him, with heading the Inquisition and all." She said quietly.
"If you want to talk… we're allies now, remember?"
Gwen turned around to face him again, surprised at his sudden compassion. His hand still rested on her shoulder. She smiled. "Perhaps."
Alistair nodded solemnly.
Next came the tasset piece, which fastened around the waist. Gwen lifted and attempted to sling it around him. "Maker, this is heavy. Do you think you could hold it while I fasten it?"
"Sure." With the smile still on her face from his words, she slipped the tongue through the buckle and pulled firmly. Alistair swayed and inhaled. She chuckled, adjusting and lifting it higher with his help and finally fixing the belt in place at his waist.
Hanging low under his armor was another, thinner belt and she knelt before him, grabbing for it. "What's this belt here?"
"Which one?" He looked down, confused for a moment before realization took hold. "No. You don't have to do that one-"
But she already held it firm in her hands before she realized why he asked her not to: it was the belt to his leather trousers. The realization of where she was kneeling and what she had in hand crossed through her mind and she silently prayed to the Maker that no one would venture into the cave and see her predicament.
Gwen paused with the ends still in her hands, unsure of how to proceed and said quietly with downcast eyes, "Oh, your… trousers. Yes, precarious location. You wear them lower than I'd expect. I didn't realize-"
"I wear that belt lower on my waist for flexibility in movement." He looked down to her and then where she knelt, then straight up to the ceiling of the cave in embarrassment. "You're there now and really I don't want to move in case we sully this predicament even further. We're adults. Just, buckle it." He cleared his throat. "Quickly."
"Right, of course." She turned her focus on the task, grumbling. "Why didn't you buckle it before now?"
"It's usually the last thing I do in case I have to… relieve myself before travel or battle."
"Smart."
Gwen's hands moved quickly without any errant movements. When she was finished, she rose in haste and she walked around him. She pulled at the armor, refastening buckles where needed, and made a silent assessment of him: He looked good, especially with the slight flush from their contact.
The woman turned to pick up his worn leather gloves and held them out for him to take, giving him a small smirk. "I think you can handle these."
Lifting them from her hands, he responded cheekily. "Yes, thank you, Inquisitor."
"Call me Gwen." She replied happily and walked out to talk to join the others, leaving the man with a smirk of his own.