He stayed with Ephraim long enough to see his eyes flutter closed of remain, his chest rising and falling softly with gentle snores, and he sighed, leaning forward to run his fingers through his sleeping Virtues hair. His hair was still damp from his bathing, cooling now that he lay out in the open, out of the warm water.

Stroking through his sleeping healer's hair, his eyes lifted, seeking out the one he sought after next. This particular meeting had to be handled with a certain amount of care, it was a touchy situation, for one to loose themselves so drastically as to take their own life.

Turning back to the one whose hair he stroked his fingers through, he smiled lightly, even though he could not see it. "Sleep well, Eph."

Standing from the side of his bed, he spared him one final glace, and when he was sure he would not awaken, he parted from his side for the time being.

His next query stood just a few beds away, leaning against a desk, distracted by the files he was reading through. He came to stand before him, gently pushing the files down, to gain his attention.

"Oren, may I have a word with you?"

His Captain bows his head in shame, nodding his assent, and he gestures for him to follow as he guides him to his office. Oren sits at his desk without prompting, head bowed away from his imploring gaze, wringing his fingers together. The archangel watches his Captain carefully as he crossed behind him, squeezing at his shoulder as he passes beside him, coming to sit behind his desk once more. Crossing his arms, he leaned forward against his desk, studying his shaken Captain for a silent moment.

"I'm sorry." He blurts it out, as though it was an inner battle to keep the words within his chest, and it surprises him slightly. Raphael tilts his head. "What for?"

"I—I abandoned my brothers…." Oren licks his lips nervously. "I was a coward. I should be ashamed. I abandoned those that needed me. I let you down." He nods as though to assure himself and his archangel. "You should be ashamed of me."

"I am far from ashamed of you, Oren."

"But you should be." He squeezes his hand, fingers curled tightly, shaking his head softly. "I was….I was…"

"Talk to me, Ori." He reaches a hand out, nodding pointedly to his Captain's, and Oren lays a shaking hand over his. "Talk to me." Nimble fingers curl over the Virtue's hand.

It's a precarious situation they're in. He's clearly still haunted by the cause of his action, it clearly still crosses his mind, but now there is shame. He's ashamed of himself, ashamed of what he did, even though there is no blame placed on him for what edge he was brought to by outside forces. He feels as though there is blame that should be placed on him, that he had abandoned his duties, his purpose, and his brothers. That he has let his archangel down, a spite in the face of what he stands for, he ruined something so wholesome.

A very precarious situation, indeed.

Oren stares at him for a moment, as though the words just won't come forward, and swallows deeply. "I couldn't take it anymore." He nods, as though agreeing with his own admission. "I couldn't take it."

"Couldn't take what?" He rubs his thumb over the back of his Virtue's hand, squeezing just enough with his other fingers to offer gentle reassurance, this is Oren's time now, his time to vent, to get whatever ailments he carried around with him off of his shoulders, he was merely hear to offer a listening ear, a shoulder if he should need one, and reassurance where it was needed. "Tell me what it is, Ori."

He closes his eyes, as though in the notion that if he doesn't see him sitting there that he is not admitting his faults to anyone, as if that was a shameful deed to be done.

"Everything was broken. There was so much death. I couldn't….I couldn't do it anymore." He shakes his head slightly. "Everyone looked to us for stability, something that we couldn't give, despite how much we tried to." He heaves a breath. "My friends, my dearest friends, they were evolving into something they shouldn't have been. Zaves was taken to the Prison and there was nothing that I could do. Everyone was disappearing. You were gone."

"I was."

"With you gone, everyone turned to us, we could never replace you." Oren finally opens his eyes, their so pained, it echoes from deep within him and shines through his eyes. "People would come and ask for you. Seeking you out. And we had to explain every time. It was something we could never move on from. They'd ask questions we didn't have the answers to."

He can see the hurt that lies just beneath the skin, it curls around him like a blanket, it's eating away at his heart. His poor Captain is so broken.

"Then…As if it wasn't bad enough that we lost so many in the war…Castiel comes. He orders us to follow him. A faction, a single faction, stood opposed to him as ruler and he destroyed them." He clenches his other hand into a fist. "He ordered us to follow him, he was our new commander, he was replacing you. And once again, under his ill-fated attempt at control, the others turned to us."

Oren shakes his head. Silence overcoming him.

The Healer squeezes his hand. "What happened then, Ori?"

"I just….How could they expect us to help them?" He waves his free hand in the air to extenuate the question. "We were just as broken as everyone else. But we couldn't dwell in it. We couldn't mourn our losses. We had to take care of the others, listen to them weep at their loss, listen to their worries and troubles. There was so much pain and sorrow and we had to take on everyone else's on top of ours and I…..I…I lost it. I—I…"

"You finally cracked."

Oren nods, pulling his hand back, out of his grasp, and buried his face in his hands. His shoulders quake silently, as they come to the catalyst, they both know what happened next. He was the epitome of someone who had carried the weight of the world on their shoulders and no one could help alleviate it. His Captain had a big heart, always looking to put others needs before his own, and this time it had come back at him with full force.

"We were falling apart at the seams." He waits patiently for his Virtue to continue, he's like a river once a dam is removed from the equation, everything was flowing at it's own will now. "Constantine was pulling away from us. Disappearing to Father knows where for hours at a time. Zed was falling into himself, working nonstop, always at his station or tending to someone. Keeping his hands busy. Akriel stopped talking to us. He just…..He had nothing to say….So he didn't say anything. Ephraim…Poor Ephraim….He was in so much pain…But he never mentioned it. We had to take care of everyone else."

"But, there was no one there to take care of you."

Oren breaths in deeply, a shaky inhale of breath, and he peers at him from over his fingers. "I tried, I tried, I swear I did. I wanted to make you proud. Keep your legacy going. Continue what you had built." He looks so worn still, so tired, and it breaks his heart. "I worked hard. I made sure that Zed's inventory never ran dry, I continued his work when he'd pass out, I'd drag him to a bed when he collapsed." He falls silent a moment. "I urged Constantine to talk to me. I knew something was wrong. I begged him to talk to me. We'd talk late into the night. I talked him out of it. So many times." He takes a deep breath. "I urged Akriel to talk to me. I begged him. We'd talk late into the night. About anything and everything. I begged him to talk to me. I begged him." He buries himself back into his hands again, his fingers clutching at his hair, his words muffled slightly. "Ephraim…I tried to shelter him from it.. I know how it all affected him. I'd distract him and comfort him. I tried to keep him from it all." He exhales deeply, a deep sigh, it's a agonized sigh. "And then….Then I just couldn't do it anymore. I was just so tired. I just wanted…I just wanted a moment of peace."

"You were so focused on holding everyone else together, you yourself fell apart."

"I let you down." He inhales a shaky breath. "After all that, I let you down."

"No, Ori," he stands from his chair, stepping out from around his desk, and kneels beside him. Gently, all things must be done in a gentle fashion for the time to come, he reaches up to pull his hands away from hiding his face, hiding his eyes. "Ori, you could never let me down. Never. You tried so hard, so hard, to keep everyone together, to keep them from falling apart, you ran yourself into the ground for their sake. That is not something that I would ever look down upon."

His Virtue inhales a shaky breath, as though trying in a near vain attempt to keep the tears dwelling right under the surface from falling, and he squeezes his hands tightly, pulling them up against his chest.

"Ori, you took care of everyone so well for so long, ignoring your own needs in favor of theirs, I could not be more proud." Raphael raises one of his hands, pressing his lips to the back of the Virtues shaking hand, their eyes locked together. "I'm going to take care of you now, Ori, it is time for you to be taken care of in the same manner you cared for everyone else."

Oren nods, his breath hitching, a tear escaping from the corner of his eye. They let it fall, like a small raindrop down a panel of glass, and it drips down from his cheek.

"First, I am going to be pulling you from your duties, you will rest. You will get lots of rest. We will talk often, about anything you desire, I will be an ear there to listen to you vent your troubles whether they be good or bad."

He tilts his head, his chin dipping slightly, as he folds the hand back against his chest.

"I trust you know why I am also going to have to take your blades from you?"

Oren nods shakily. And he breaths a sigh of comfort.

"We'll get you better, Ori, I'm going to take care of you now."

He stands from where he kneels, pulling his Captain to his feet with him, and he tugs him forward into an embrace. Oren folds around him, clutching tightly to the back of his tunic, pressing himself deep into his shoulder, as the tears begin to fall and he cannot seem to close the dam on them again. Raphael hums, rubbing one hand over his back as he cradles the back of his head with the other, letting his poor broken Virtue sob his woes away into his shoulder.

It takes some time for him to calm down again, and he pulls him back slightly, caressing his cheek softly with his right hand. He rubs over his cheek with his thumb. "Let's go find you a bed, my little Ori."