1000 hours (10:00 A.M. Eastern Standard Time)
In front of The Reptile House
(Skipper's POV)
"Kowalski? Status?" I said.
"Not Even a Snowflake," Kowalski said.
"Not even a crumb of Figgy Pudding ," Private said.
"Fa la la la la nope," Rico said.
"Not a scale or fang of Snake," Kowalski said.
Petunia had a screen out, "My Drones aren't picking up any snake DNA."
"He's gone into hiding," I said.
"No heat signatures," Kowalski said scanning with the Flir camera.
"Not picking up any movement," Private said holding out The Motion Detector Camera.
"No audio disturbances," Kowalski said holding out a Parabolic Listening Device.
"So he's staying still and not making any noise," I said.
"Unless he has some kind of cloaking device," Kowalski said.
"Try the UV spectrum," I said.
Kowalski lowers his UV spectrum goggles, "Nothing..."
"Seismic?" I said.
"Vibrational frequency is low," Kowalski said looking at his multi-function scanner, "Unexpected Event Meter low. Evil Energy low. Quantum Uncertainty low. Spectral Energy not important right now. Nothing on Radar. Radiation at background levels. EMF low. No gravitational disturbances."
"So he's not detectable on any spectrum?" I said.
Kowalski holds up another camera, "Running full color spectrum scan now. Nothing!"
"So, he's not here," I said.
"Nope," Kowalski said.
"I guess he's too cowardly to actually show up," I said turning to Kowalski.
I saw everyone's scared expression, "He right behind me isn't he?" I said.
"Um, yeah," Kowalski said.
"He really is a master hunter," Private said.
"Uh-hmm," Rico said.
"Boo..." Savio said.
"Uh. You know the whole coward thing," I said, "I was just messing with you..."
"No harm done," Savio said, "Now let'ssss sssskip the chasssse and go right to the part where you go down my digesssstive track."
"Sssstay sssstill," Savio said, "Jusssst admit to being Tassssty..."
"Let's not be hasty Savio," I said.
"I'm a ssssnake, I'm hungry, and your small enough to fit in my mouth..." Savio said, "Sssso, Ssssoup's on!"
"Do you have to drag out your S's all the time," I said.
"That's a side-effect of the motion of his tongue," Kowalski said.
"Jusssst let me devour you already," Savio said.
"Back off or you're getting a serious case of indigestion!" I said.
"I have a plan that involves..."
"ENGAGE!" I shouted charging the snake.
The Snake received a flurry of punches, "Skipper!" Kowalski screamed as I punched and kicked the snakes long coiling body, "Watch out! don't let him close his coils!"
I punched Savio in the gut and then drop kicked him in the face, "I got this Kowalski."
I karate chopped Savio's side unaware of the slowly closing coil, "This is like taking candy from a... ack..."
"SKIPPER!" Private shouted as Savio started to coil around me and squeezed.
"Skipper be careful He'll squeeze tighter every time you exhale," Kowalski said.
Private and Rico glared at Kowalski, "What? I gotta use this trivia."
"Fine!" I said struggling to talk, "We'll have a trivia night! Happy!?"
"Skipper stop struggling," Kowalski said, "He'll only squeeze tighter!"
"Good to know, Captain Obvious" I replied sarcastically.
"Sssstop wassssting your breath," Savio said, "It'ssss going to get harder to breath in a Sssssecond."
I took a deep breath and tried to hold it only for Savio to force me to exhale before squeezing me some more, "You got a... GASP... strong grip," I said.
"Okay that's it," Kowalski said, "We gotta get the constrictor off him!"
"Pull apart those coils!" Kowalski running towards Savio with Private and Rico.
"Ssssorry wait for the next coursssse!" Savio said flicking us away with his tail.
Petunia was loading a Tranquilizer dart into her crossbow when we slammed into her. The crossbow was sent skidding across the pavement as the Possum was sent flying.
"Burt!?" Kowalski shouted, "Oh where is that Elephant when you need him!"
The Elephant was currently cowering from a tiny mouse who was making funny faces at him, "AH! Back foul Rodent!"
The Rat King popped up from the Sewers, "Who's a foul rodent!?" He asked.
Rico blasts The Rat King with a Freeze Ray causing him to fall back into the sewer.
"We were just leaving!" A Rat shouted from below as the icy block containing The Rat King was carried away down the sewer.
"Get off me," I said.
"Don't ssssstruggle," Savio said, "it will all be over in a minute."
"Actually his has about five minutes of air left," Kowalski said.
"Not helping," I said.
"Make that three..." Kowalski said.
"STOP TALKING!" I said.
"Okay. Now he has one minute," Kowalski said.
"Then bloody do something about it," Private said.
"I'll be feassssting on the three of you in a moment," Savio said.
"Don't bite off more than you can chew," Petunia said aiming her Crossbow.
"Oh and a Posssssssum Chasssser," Savio said, "that will do nicely."
"Now Where issss that Otter?" Savio said.
"Right here!" Marlene said before hitting him the face with a roundhouse punch.
Several of Savio's fangs flew out but he opened his mouth wide, "You jusssst joined the main coursssse. Sssshame really, I wassss actually sssstarting to enjoy your company...BUT A SSSSNAKE'SSSS GOTTA..."
Suddenly the Snake made a funny face as weird bumps appeared all over his body. The Snake's constricting muscles retracted as he passed out. I slipped out of the loosely wrapped around me snake and stepped out.
"What was that?" Private said.
"Oh just a little Toxic Touch," Barry the Poison Dart Frog said jumping on top of the snake.
"Thanks our poisonous friend," I said.
"Who wants to hug me?" Barry asked.
"NO!" We all shouted as we ran off.
"What?" Barry asked, "Come back! I was only joking!"
"Bye," Petunia said running after us.
"I'll go back to my terrarium then," Barry said without any damper on his good mood.
Meanwhile
Central Park Zoo Event Pavilion
(Blowhole's POV)
The poisoned unconscious snake was dropped to the ground. The rats was using hairdryers and and even a fire to try and thaw out The Blue Hen and The Rat King who still looked a little beat up. The lobsters were watching me nervously as I pace back and forth on my Segway. The Red Squirrel, Hans, and Karl were still tied up in a corner. Lord Shen was bored and was spinning his guandao around while Tai Lung stood with is arms crossed leaning against a pole. Parker was checking his pay-stub for the fifth time today.
"Let's see; holiday pay, overtime, mercenary fee, hazard pay, Christmas bonus, and benefits," Parker said looking at his check, "Everything is in order."
I ignore him and move on my lobsters, "Who was responsible for Poisonous Frog Wrangling!?"
The Mutated Bunny was thrashing about in a cage behind me. All the lobsters and even the Chromeclaw looked at it in fear. Even the Chinstrap Sisters were giving the cage a wide berth. I heard Hans yelp in fear when he glimpsed the mutant's sharp teeth and hungry gaze.
"Well?" I asked noticing Clemson quickly fled to high ground out of the corner of my eye.
Red Three points to Red Two Hundred, "Well I didn't want to touch him!"
"Red one..." I said hearing my right hand gulp, "release The Bunny..."
"Um, Yes Doc," Red One said.
"It better not attack ME again," he muttered under his breath.
"Do I need to bring out The Pot," I hissed.
"The Pot Doc?" Red One said.
"You know the pot of water I keep at a steady slow boil next to the movie butter?" I asked.
"NO!" Red one said, "No, no need to get the pot..."
"Gordon! Ramsey! Get the pot!" I shouted as two octopi rush over to bring the pot.
Red one pulls the lever and the mutant bunny immediately mauls Red Two hundred who screams loudly, "Anyone else want to fail me?" I said as the Pot was lowered in position in front of the lobsters portable workstations.
Nobody answered, "Good," I said, "Now I'm going to leave this pot here as inspiration."
"Um Dr. Mammal-fish," Hans said, "I'm not at risk of... uh... going in the pot? Right?"
"Keep calling me Dr. Mammal-fish and see what happens," I said.
I smiled as I heard the arctic sea-bird's audible gulp, "Of course Dr. Blowhole," Hans said.
"Uh Squirrel tastes horrible by the way," The Red Squirrel said.
"Red fur looks a lot like lobster shell," I said, "let's hope I don't mix the too up..."
"I'm getting to a safe distance," The Red Squirrel said silently move as far away as he possible could while staying within the Pavilion area.
"Now. The rest of you who didn't fail me," I said, "Get back to your positions!"
I then turn to the massive weapon that was positioned on the Pavilion bandstand, "Soon the gift of revenge will be ready to be opened Pen-gu-wins," I said, "And I hope you have a Merry Christmas..."
I then laughed evilly causing everyone to shudder involuntarily. I smiled as everyone even Lord Shen tremble in dread around me as my laughed echoed. The Pen-gu-wins better be ready because this is going to rock their world!
(End of Chapter Six)