Before dinner is served, we had some theatrics and a couple of small performances from my clan and people from Konoha that I didn't know, they either danced or played an instrument. I loved each one as music was one of my favorite past times. I was smiling and clapping as one of the performers finish playing her violin and was leaving, my mother stands, and I think it's time for dinner. I was thankful for this as I was starting to get hungry.
"Beautiful, wonderful," My mother praises. "I would like to thank all of you that performed today, it was a fantastic performance from all of you, now our last performer is very special... "
"Psst, Princess," I hear from my right, I turn to see Masao calling for me, Kakashi leaning back a bit. "You're going to need this." He says, passing something to Kakashi, who gives it to me. I look down, seeing an all too familiar black velvet box. I look at him in horror and look at my mom.
"Though she is shy about performing, I would like to call my daughter Princess Shinokane to play." She says and looks down at me as everyone claps. She was smiling at me, a small mischievous smile on her face. She knew I didn't like to play in front of a lot of people.
"Mother…" I'm about to protest, but she shakes her head, her hand coming to my shoulder, giving a small squeeze, then pulling me to stand up, I do.
"This is my way of getting you used to being in front of crowds, play my favorite please." She says, giving me her don't argue with me tone. I sigh, knowing I wasn't going to win. I was now thankful we didn't have dinner first as I start to feel nervous and nauseous. I make my way around the tables all of my clan whispering blessings and good luck to me as I pass. I sit in the single chair that was out for the performers to sit if needed and open the box. My fingers slide on the elegant silver flute. I smile, this was Masao's, he was terrific at playing, and I begged him to teach me after I first heard him play. I pick the flute up and place the box down next to me. I take in a couple of deep breaths and close my eyes beginning to play.
(Naruto theme Sadness and Sorrow is what she plays)
This song was not only my mother's favorite but mine as well, I practiced this song till I could play it by memory. Other than this song, I only knew 2 others. I play with my eyes closed the whole time, I knew if I opened them, I would freak out as the others watch me. I lightly sway to the song as the melody washes over me. I love this song because I felt like it understands me in a way that I couldn't portray to anyone. This song represents a strong feeling that I have to lock inside me, a want for something I could never have. I get lost in the song and too soon does it end, I blush when everyone starts clapping and shouting praises. I open my eyes and catch Kakashi's one eye, and something tells me he understands the sadness I feel when I play this song. I smile at everyone quickly. I take my bow and almost run back to my seat. Kakashi is standing and has pulled my chair by the time I get to him. I smile my thanks as I take my place, and Kakashi retakes his, I was going to say something when my mother pulls my attention.
"That was beautiful, Shinokane," My mother tells me.
"Thank you, mother," I reply, still trying not to make eye contact with anyone.
"Thank you for playing, I know you hate playing in front of a lot of people," She says, placing her hand on my shoulder then standing to address everyone again. "Now that the performers have all played, I hope that you are hungry and enjoy the food prepared from our clan's best chef, Mrs. Lu." I smile as my clan members get up and serve the guests first, then my clan royalty, then themselves. We talked and caught up on everything that happened in the last 10 months. Tsunade, Kakashi, and Sakura would jump in with remarks or questions as well. Overall I was strangely having a fun time. I had just finished my story on the annoying mission that I just went on. She laughs as I explain wanting to put the man in his place.
"But thankfully, I kept my emotions intact," I say, shaking my head.
"Good to know you are getting training on when to speak up and when not to," My mother smiles at me. "So how well do you like it here in Konoha?"
"Honestly, I love it here, of course, I miss you all, but this experience is fun and teaching me a lot, not just in diplomacy and ninja ways but other things as well," I exclaim.
"Really? Like what other things?"
"Well, not that I don't consider my clan, my friends, but I have learned a lot about friendship with Sakura and the other chunin," I say, smiling. My mother smiles and looks at all the Konoha teams and gives a chuckle.
"So, do you think any of the boys over there should make the list?" She asks, turning to me, I sigh and look down at my finished plate. "Come now, Musume. You should have known I wasn't just going to ignore the fact that you're 17 and need to find a suitor soon," I glare at the plate and take a deep breath.
"I know, and honestly, I don't know, I haven't thought of any of them like that," Sakura raises an eyebrow at me in the background, I was lying.
"Well then, do you like any of them?" I tilt my head in question.
"They are all nice boys, and they are my friends," I give a vague answer. "Yes, I like them."
"Do you have a crush on any of them?" My mother asks I stare at her in shock. "Well?"
"No," I barely whisper. "I thought crushes don't count as being on the list anyway."
"Well, I would like your input on the few boys over there, I was going to expand your list as I have wired it down only to 2 suitors now, I like the boys here, and since you know them better than I, I want your opinion," My mother's voice was becoming sharp and stern since I didn't want to talk about this.
"Hmm, well, I honestly wouldn't put any of them on the list if you want my opinion," I look to Tsunade, "Not to be rude, they are fine ninja, but not suitors," Tsunade raises an eyebrow but nods. "Shikamaru though smart is lazy and finds everything a drag, Kiba though confident can be obnoxious and would not like a matriarchy, I barely know Shino, and Neji is already taken." I rattle off what I knew would get them kicked off of the list.
"Well, for not thinking about it, you sure know what would get them removed from the list," My mother looks at me, I sigh.
"It's not hard to know what gets them off the list when…" I cut myself off before I say something I will regret, my mother narrows her eyes at my slip, Tsunade was right my manners have dropped.
"So you don't know much about this... Shino boy, you didn't mention Choji or Lee either," My mom is going to drive me insane.
"Mother, none of them are whom I have a crush on, and if you don't mind, I would like not to talk about this right now," I try to stay calm, but my voice was becoming just as clipped as my mother's.
"So you do have a crush on someone," My mother smiles at me. "Who is it?"
"It doesn't matter, they won't make the list," I sigh, and so does my mother, and she bluntly turns away from me, I almost pull out my hair when she starts talking to Sakura.
"Sakura, dear, I hear that you have become great friends with my daughter and I know that at your age you girls tend to talk, who is my daughter infatuated with?" I was furious and wanted to run. Masao's hand takes mine from the table for a second. He squeezes to get my attention, and I look to him. He motions for me to calm down, I nod. Kakashi puts his hand on my shoulder; he was trying to help me calm down as well; nothing was working though.
"Honestly, Queen Berradona, she won't tell me or any of the other girls, I tried to get her to tell me, but she says it doesn't matter as crushes don't count as a suitor," Sakura lies for me. I sigh, thankful for loyal friends, but my heart hurts for making her lie. My mother turns back to me with a stern face.
"Shinokane, you will have to choose a suitor soon and as your queen..." I stand angrily and face her.
"I know what my duties are as the Princess of my clan! I know that I will have to choose a suitor the day after I turn 18! I know that you are my queen! Trust me, you remind me every single time that I do something you deem wrong! One day yes, I hope to be just and fair, as you are. I never wanted or needed to go against your wishes as my Queen and most of all my mother. But, the day I turned 15 I became an adult! That day you told me that I needed to start having to be more assertive! Well, I'm putting my foot down! This conversation about my love life is over! I will shelve the discussion for suitors for a later date when I deem it suitable. Now, if you don't mind, I am going to go calm down!"
Everyone was shocked at my outburst, and all the tables had gone quite. Kakashi had gotten up as well, ready to follow me out, this bugged me even more, but I wasn't going to say anything to him. I turn away from her, gather my kimono to walk faster, and start to walk away, but my mother's words catch me off guard.
"I was wondering when you were going to start standing up to me," She says, standing as well. I turn frowning at her. "I didn't expect it to be at your birthday dinner, but I guess that's my fault. I know that you don't like talking about suitors. I should have saved the topic for a later time. I'm sorry, Princess." She gives a small bow; I sigh, feeling everyone's stares. I still wanted to run and possibly punch something, but now I couldn't. My mother was smart, she continued bowing, not deeply, but this was a show of respect and etiquette. If I ignored her it would be rude and a sign that I did not know my place. I take a deep breath and step up to her, placing my hand on her shoulder.
"Rise, you are forgiven," I tell her, she rises smiling at me.
"Thank you, are you going to continue your feast, or do you wish to leave still?" I frown a bit but nod and go to resume my seat. "Thank you, daughter, I am sorry." I nod, trying to stay calm.
"I know, mother," I tell her again, thanking Kakashi for helping me sit. My mother stays standing to address the deep silence as others are still staring. I look down at my hands as I see everyone staring directly at me.
"My guests, my clan, I am sorry for the outburst that just occurred, this was my fault as I brought up things that should not have been brought up at this point. I ask that you do forgive our Princess and please enjoy the festivities, right now we are to move on to the gift-giving." My clan gets up and starts to clean away all the dishes from our guests and all the other tables.
After, the Konoha teams and their senseis stand to line up in the gift-giving. Masao takes a spot standing next to me and helps as Kakashi goes to stand in line. I stand up and smile as Team Kurinie walks up first, I give my thanks as they wish me another happy birthday and give me a brand new cleaning set for my weapons. This goes on for all the teams, from team Guy I get a kunai and shuriken set, from team Asuma, I get a new compass, and Lady Tsunade gives me a new first aid kit. I smile even more as Sakura and Kakashi now step up from the line.
"Happy birthday!" Sakura says, presenting me a small wrapped gift. "It's nothing special, but…"
"I'm sure I will love it, Sakura," I say, shaking my head as I unwrap the gift, in it lays a small star pendant with the quote 'good friends are like stars, you don't always see them, but you know they are always there.' "It's beautiful, and it means everything," I say, reaching over and hugging her. When she pulls away, she reaches under her Kimono and pulls out a matching pendant.
"We both have one," She says.
"I'll always wear it," I say as I pull mine out and put it on. I look to Kakashi, who is reaching into his nagagi and pulls out a terribly wrapped present. I giggle a bit as I try to unwrap it.
"Sorry, I should have had Sakura wrap it," He says, I shake my head.
"It makes it all the more memorable," I say as I finally unveil an herb book with all of Konoha's herbs, plants, and fungi.
"This is amazing," I say as I flip through it, wanting to read it already. Without thinking, I reach over and hug him; surprisingly, he hugs me back. When I realize my small mistake, I pull away a blush creeping on my cheeks. "Thank you, Kakashi Sensei."
"You're welcome," He says, and he and Sakura walk back to their seats. I glance at my mom to make sure she is not upset at my mistake; she doesn't seem fazed by it. She sits looking at my presents and smiles at me when I look at her. I speculate whether to say anything but am quickly distracted by my clan, giving me gifts of small beads and flowers braided in my hair. By the end, my hair is beautifully braided with intricate knots, beads, and flowers.
"I can see what you mean by what you said the other day, I know you are an actual princess," Sakura smiles from her seat. "But you definitely look like a princess now." I laugh and nod.
"Thank you, Sakura," I say with a slightly sarcastic tone.
"Well, as lovely as today has been Musume, it is getting late, do you mind if I call an end to today?" My mother asks, giving a small yawn, I smile.
"Not at all," I tell her as I realize it's now almost 9 at night. She nods and stands, gaining everyone's attention.
"Dear guests and clan members, the Princess and I wish to thank you all for coming, unfortunately as wonderful as today has been, it must come to an end. We bid every one of you, goodnight." She gives a slight bow then turns to me quietly, speaking. "We are here only for tomorrow, so please come see us here tomorrow before 1, we will be leaving at 2."
"I will mother, sleep well, I love you," I tell her, hugging her.
"I love you too," She says, leaving. I wave to all of my clan as they go.
After all of my clan is gone, I feel strange standing with all of my Konoha friends.
"Are you okay, Princess Kane?" Sakura asks. I stare at her for a second.
"You can stop with the formalities now, please," I say sighing, this makes all of them laugh.
"Getting used to only the ninja way are we now, Princess?" Kiba asks. I laugh but nod.
"Seems so much more simple than the royal life, I envy you all sometimes," I say, shaking my head.
"You know you didn't answer my question," Sakura says. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. Honestly, I just feel weird standing here in a formal kimono with you all, and I forgot how tiring and stressful being a princess is," I say, looking at them all.
"Yeah, I don't know how you can stand staying in formal wear all day. It's a drag," Shikamaru says, looking at his nagagi. I smile at him.
"That has been my life for the past 16 years, or was 16 years," I laugh.
"Well, today was cool and all, but I'm going to bed," Shika says, causing the other teams and senseis to agree.
"Bye! Thank you for coming!" I call out to them; they all wave to us, leaving what I think is only Sakura and I standing here.
"Well, I'm going to head home as well, are you sure you're okay?" Sakura asks, giving a small smile.
"I'll be fine. I just need everyone to stop bugging me about this crush stuff," I say, poking Sakura in the shoulder. She gives me a knowing smile.
"Well, I don't have to bug you about it anymore since I know who it is now,"
"Yeah, thanks for not telling her by the way, I shouldn't have put you in that situation,"
"You didn't, your mother did, so don't be sorry, let's just have her not find out I lied,"
"Deal," I say, laughing.
"Well I'll see you tomorrow, bye," She waves as she leaves.
"Bye," I say, about to start walking to my apartment when I hear a voice behind me.
"So Sakura did lie to your mother, I thought as much," Kakashi says. I jump a bit and turn to him, he was reading his book.
"I thought you left with all the others," I say when he looks over his book at me.
"I am still on guard duty Princess," He tells me. I blink in confusion.
"Well I thank you for guarding me today, but you are dismissed," I say, giving him a slight bow, he gives a small chuckle.
"I'm on duty till your clan leaves tomorrow," He shakes his head. I stare a bit shocked.
"So you're going to guard me even as I am sleeping in my perfectly safe apartment?" He just nods. "Let me guess, my mother?" He just nods again. I groan. "So what now then?" He looks up from his book again.
"That's up to you, I can stay in the background and you do whatever you want," I shake my head as he suggests this.
"I'll know you're there anyway, no point," I sigh. "Ugh, she makes me so stressed sometimes,"
"Well you know training is a good stress reliever," Kakashi says, I tilt my head then look down at my kimono.
"Sounds good to me but we will have to get dressed into our combat outfits," I say shrugging.
"Your place first. It's on the way to mine," Kakashi says and starts walking.
When we get to my place I get dressed quickly and step out of my room to find Kakashi deep in thought as he stares at a picture of me and my mother.
"That was us on my 15th birthday," I say staring at the picture as well, I remembered that day very well. My mother was laughing at something Masao said, he was the one taking the picture, she looked beautiful as she smiled brightly, her eyes shining just as bright. Me on the other hand though I was smiling, the smile didn't reach my eyes, I wasn't as happy. We had just had the 'you are an adult now conversation' and you will now have to start actively looking for a suitor to choose by your 18th birthday. It was on that day just minutes before the picture that I realized I would never have true love.
"You don't look happy that it's your birthday," Kakashi remarks, I sigh a bit.
"Well my birthday has never really been a happy day for me, actually even with the small argument we had today, this was the first birthday I have had the most fun on," I say surprised.
"Why is that?" Kakashi turns to me, I frown.
"On my 6th birthday my father died defending my clan," I explain. Kakashi's eye takes on a look of understanding. "And on that particular birthday and anniversary of my father's death, well, I got 'the you are now an adult speech' and I need to start looking for a suitor stuff she always seems to talk about now," I say as I shrug. "I usually hate celebrating my birthdays, I guess celebrating my birthday the day before the actual day seemed to make it easier to celebrate. Hmm… strange." I say as I turn and walk to my door, I know Kakashi follows as I feel his presence strangely close to mine, yet I didn't mind it. I knew where his place was but I have never been inside, so it felt weird when he left the door open for me, he turns when I stay in the genkin of his home.
"You can come in Princess," He tells me and I nod as he disappears down the hallway. His home was a lot like mine but bigger and more spacious, he kept his decorations minimal but it was still homey. I find myself looking at a bookshelf filled with books most on ninja basics, survival, and techniques. I take a step back and turn to sit on the sofa. I look at the coffee table in front of me and see a similar book the one Kakashi is currently reading. The title Make Out Paradise Part 1, Hmmm it's a series?... What's so special about it? I think as I grab it and read the summary, it seems to be about the main character and a heroine, both new to love, begin dating… I don't get to finish reading the summary.
"You really shouldn't read that Princess," I jump a bit but turn to look at Kakashi.
"Please just Kane, and I'm sorry I didn't mean to touch your stuff. I was just wondering why you liked these books so much, I mean I like to read so," I ramble as I place the book down on the table.
"It's fine, I just don't think your mother would appreciate me telling you about these books, they are for adults only," I blink in surprise at his words and the fact that he seems to be blushing under his mask.
"I am an adult but I don't want to get you in trouble if you say my mother wouldn't want me to read them I won't chance reading them while she's here, what's so adult about a romance anyway?" I ask him as I get up.
"Umm… let's just say the books get very inappropriate for the age 18 or younger," He stammers and I look away, finally remembering that Sakura says he reads perverted books. "Ready to go?" I just nod.
I start to make my way to the normal training ground when Kakashi pulls on my sleeve and leads me to the gates of Konoha and past them a bit.
"Why are we going this way, Sensei?" I ask confused.
"Your clan is staying in the training grounds and I thought you would want to stay away from them," He says stopping in a big clearing with a small pond.
"Ah, ok," I nod and place my Gunpai against a tree nearby. "So what are you going to teach me now, Sensei?"
"How about taijutsu to get you warmed up then I can start teaching you how to escape from grapple pins?" Kakashi asks I nod. I had just finished learning how to get people into grapples in a situation where I didn't have weapons. He mentioned on our last mission that he was going to start teaching me how to get out of grapple pins now.
We start with our normal taijutsu routine, we started on one side of the clearing and he would strike first, I would defend till we got to the other side of the clearing, from there I would strike and he would defend. This would go on till we both felt warmed up enough to start the real training. He starts by teaching me the basic escape moves and when to use each one, then moves on by showing me how to get out of each grapple pin.
"So here you want to try to get me into an open guard and find a more dominant position, your move would be what?" Kakashi asks we were in a closed guard position where Kakashi was laying on the ground, his legs wrapped around my lower back to control my body, and be able to pull me into a joint lock or another hold. I as the 'opponent' had to find a way to unlock his ankles and move to a better position. I try to push against him using my body against his legs to break his hold but it doesn't work, he grabs my wrists and pulls me back to him with his legs. I glare at him and slip my hands from his, but I still can't break his ankle lock, I push against his left knee next and try to turn out of the hold. He tightens his legs and rocks me to the side a bit causing me to go off balance.
"Don't turn yourself in this position, it will put you in a dangerous spot and get you killed," I look at him to elaborate."If you were to turn around I could pull you into a choke hold and easily break your neck," He explains, I nod.
"Good to know," I mumble, still annoyed at myself as I can't get out of this grapple.
"You were close when you went for the knee, " He hints, I place my hands on his knees knowing this was correct but look down at our position to figure out how to get out. 'If you think about it he has to know what he's doing reading those pervy books of his.' Sakura's words crash through my train of thought as I realize how close we are and what it could look like. Without thinking I push against his knees and try to stand, this was the wrong thing to do as Kakashi pulls me forward again with his legs. I miss my chance to balance myself and fall on top of him, our lips crashing together. If it wasn't for his mask I would be kissing my Sensei, we both freeze instantly. I can feel the heat rising on my face as Kakashi gasps, I push myself away, unable to look him in the eye.
"I'm sorry, Sensei, I didn't mean for that…" I whisper, still not looking at him as he unlocks his ankles allowing me to stand up.
"It's not your fault, Kane," Kakashi says standing as well, I still can't look at him. "Neither of us meant for that to happen." He tells me, I just nod.
"Anyway," I sigh and shake my head trying to clear it. "How do you get out of that?"
"Right, you find out which of the ankles is on top, slip your hand under that knee, push up on that knee and with your other hand you push out on the other knee, that unlocks them and you can stand from there." He explains and I glare at the ground angry that I didn't figure it out, it seemed so obvious.
"Of course," I sigh, understanding the tactic. "Well, let's head back…" I say then stop and turn. "Umm… You're still on guard duty, you can stay with me… on the couch I mean… I don't want you outside… Uncomfortable, I mean." I stutter trying to explain what I mean. He chuckles and nods, but I think I see him blushing. I was starting to hate his mask, it kept me from reading him, her I am a blushing mess without a mask. I turn away and start to walk home.
"I understand what you're saying, Kane," Kakashi says, easily keeping up with me. "Thank you."
We get to my apartment and I busy myself with finding an extra blanket and pillow for Kakashi, when I turn around from the closet he is sitting on the couch as if nothing happened. I place the blanket and pillow next to him and head into the bathroom. I wash my face and brush my teeth, the whole time trying to not think about what happened. Damn you Sakura… I think. I leave the bathroom and look to Kakashi, he has taken off his Jonin vest, gloves, and headband.
"I don't think anything will happen here in Konoha," I say bowing a bit to him when he turns to me. "Sleep well Kakashi Sensei."
"You as well Kane," He nods and lays down. I shut my door behind me, get dressed into my sleepwear, and lay in my bed staring at the ceiling. Without thinking my hand makes its way to my lips. Even if it wasn't a kiss I could feel his lips under the mask, I now wondered exactly what they would feel like. My mind trails to thoughts of kissing him, and what it could feel like. My mind takes a turn when I start to remember what his boy feels like pressed against mine. I become embarrassed since I know he's in the other room. I shake my head trying to regain control of my thoughts. You can't think like this, you're a Princess, you can't have him even if you want him. My heart pangs and tears come to my eyes as I remind myself that I could never really have love.