Heroin and Vodka

Author's note: Ok guys. I'm going to speed up the story a bit as I really didn't much like the season 2 Hapstall case. Don't worry, the case will feature now and then, giving you an idea of what the general outline is. Without further ado, let's begin.

Chapter 5

Annalise put away her laptop and walked into Isaac's office.

"How's the Hapstall case going?" Isaac asked as she took her seat.

"Hmm?" Annalise asked, as she looked up.

"You seemed to be working pretty hard out there." Isaac replied, indicating the hallway.

"You don't know what I was working on." Annalise replied sarcastically.

"Indeed I don't. Which brings us back to what happened last week…" Isaac trailed off, looking into her eyes.

Annalise averted his gaze.

She had been dreading this. She knew that Isaac was bound to bring this up sooner or later. She just didn't imagine it would be quite this early.

"It wasn't something important. I just felt like having a drink." Annalise lied.

Isaac eyed her critically.

"What? You don't believe me?" she asked.

"No." he replied flatly.

"Excuse me." Annalise countered.

"Annalise you're an alcoholic." Isaac replied. "Which makes you an expert in self-deception. But in in here I'm the expert. So quit deflecting and do the work to get better. Like you told me in our first session that you wanted to do."

"Well, you clearly have a theory. So why don't you tell me about it." Annalise countered.

Isaac nodded before replying.

"I'm concerned this case is designed to distract you from a recent loss you've experienced."

Annalise was silent. She was already dreading this line of conversation.

When Annalise didn't reply, Isaac turned away from her. He tuned to the desk beside him and turned over a file in his hand, spilling its contents on his lap. Taking one of the pieces of paper that fell over, he reached into his coat and pulled out his spectacles. Putting them on, he began to read out loud.

"I drove to a friend's house and I stayed there several hours till I calmed down. And then I went back to the house after sometime And I just-I just…hoped that it wasn't true that he hadn't hurt that girl and we could make things right. I felt guilty for all the things I said to him." He stopped reading and looked up.

"These are your words during the detective's questioning." he informed her.

Annalise was silent for several seconds before she replied.

"You requested that transcript?" she asked.

"The Board sent it over after you were assigned to me." he replied after putting away his spectacles.

She looked up at him and finally met his gaze.

"What do you tell them about me?" she asked.

"Hey. I send them a progress report once a month. That's all." he replied placatingly.

Annalise nodded, averting his gaze once again.

"So…" Isaac continued "…this guilt you stated that you felt over Sam running away….did you just say that for the detective's benefit?"

"Of course not." Annalise replied, rolling her eyes.

"So you really feel that way?" Isaac asked.

"What is this?" Annalise asked. "I was a suspect in my own husband's death. The DA framed me. Paid off people in my life to testify against me. My reputaition as a lawyer was soiled. All because of one thing I said. And—"

"I'm your therapist Annalise." Isaac cut in.

"So?" Annalise countered. " Better people than you have betrayed me. Sam. Bonnie—"

"Ok. Ok. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." he replied softly. "Just understand I understand how desertion leaves survivors with an ocean of pain. And I just wonder— could this be what's driving you to take on this case? Concrete ways to make amends—to distract yourself from this pain that you have clearly been suppressing. Its this pain that resurfaced that night. This guilt that resurfaced in you that overwhelmed you and caught you off guard. That's what made you drink and—"

"Ok. Stop. Stop." Annalise cut in, "I discuss this enough with the detectives. I don't want to talk about it here as well." she replied, in a low voice.

Isaac caught the hint of something unknown in her face. It wasn't guilt or pain. Rather it was contempt. Anger. He decided wisely not to push her any further.

The water slid down her chin and fell down her bosoms. She was curled up in a fetal position as her mind flashed back to the events of the evening.

Flashback

"Hi." said a voice as Annalise walked in and placed and placed her bag on the table in her office. Turning to the voice, she noticed it was Bonnie. She had an odd, contemplative expression on her face. Her hands held a glass of vodka.

"What's wrong"? Annalise asked.

She looked up at her, as if analyzing her for a few moments. After a short pause, she replied.

"You told him." she said simply. Putting the glass away, she continued. "I didn't convince him not to testify. That was you. You fixed it. Like always. Except this time I was the card you traded."

"I traded your past but I saved your future." Annalise countered. "And it worked. Or else you'd be rotting in jail right now."

Bonnie got up and came up to her.

"I don't get to be mad about this. Is that what you're saying?"

"No." replied Annalise. "You don't get to be emotional about this. We were in a fix, what else could I have done?"

"Stop denying what you did!" Bonnie shouted back. "You exposed me."

"I didn't expose you. I saved you." Annalise fired back. "You killed a girl in my basement. Put a plastic bag over her head—"

"To protect you." Bonnie shouted back furiously.

"And I did what I did to protect you." Annalise countered.

"No." she replied, with a shake of her head, "You did this to ruin me. The one good thing I had in my life."

"Oh. Don't you dare. Everything good in your life is because of me." Annalise said scathingly.

"You mean despite you." Bonnie fired back.

The cool water began to unknot the tension in her gut as she continued down memory lane.

"Everything that you're coming at me right now is because of what your father did to you .And you need to learn to deal with it." Annalise replied.

"I deal with it every day."

"So do I. " Annalise shouted back at her. " You may hate me for it but it worked and—"

"Shut up. Shut up. SHUT UP!" screamed Bonnie.

She turned the knoib off as she stepped out of the shower.

"I want you to die. That's what I want. And it was you that killed in this house. Not Sam cuz he…he'd never have done this to me." Bonnie replied before walking away from Annalise.

End Flashback

She quickly got dressed, grabbed her keys and left.

"Patient notes for Annalise Keating." Isaac replied, speaking into his dictaphone. "Patient maintaining…tenuous sobriety. Continues to overwhelm herself with work. Once again she is prioritizing work instead of dealing with her own issues. If she continues down this path, I fear she will relapse. Or worse. Patient continues to isolate, refusing help. Probably a defense mechanism to protect herself from the severe trauma she harbors. Her grandiosity and workaholic tendencies make me wary about hypomania. When confronted with the possibility that the recent loss of her husband, Sam Keating, is pushing her to take on this extreme workload, the patient shut down." Here he paused, before continuing.

"Which is probably a good thing for me." He took in a deep breath. "The patient is a trigger for me. I need to be mindful."

Looking up, he noticed the buzzer at the end of the hallway light up.

"My new patient just arrived." Isaac replied, putting away the dictaphone. He walked over and opened the door.

It was Bonnie.

"Julie?" Isaac asked.

"Yes." she replied with a soft smile.

"Come in." Isaac replied.

Authors note: Great. Now Bonnie's in this mess too. I know I portrayed it in a similar manner as the show did but I was completely stuck on this. I had to get Bonnie involved and this was the only way to do so. Anyways. Read and review.