WARNINGS: Medical Procedures; Pregnancy Complications; PTSD, Triggered Trauma Patient; Court Scene; Murder Description
Chapter TextSetting: AU: Monday, April 21, 2014: New York City, Manhattan, United States of America
Suddenly, Steve found himself included in Bucky's defense rather than pushed out because he was a witness or an accomplice. During the early evening, rapid changes left all involved feeling as if a whirlwind had passed through. By the time Steve collapsed into bed for some much needed sleep he had been notified of two very important, life shaking events.
The first notification came from the judge. All charges against him were being dropped, pending Bucky's case. If Bucky was found guilty, the prosecution intended to bring those charges up once more. If Bucky was acquitted, the prosecution would not be charging Steve for aiding a terrorist. This allowed Steve more than breathing room; it allowed him to take full part in planning Bucky's defense with the lawyers - - including speaking to Bucky about the case.
The second, and for Steve much more earth shattering news, was that the medications hadn't worked. Bruce and JARVIS consulted and agreed that Steve would need to have the surgery right after court the following day. Neither recommended waiting for the end of the entire trial; the risk to the infant was too high. As long as Steve remained placidly sitting behind the defense table, with the other Avengers, he would be permitted to attend the trial. He also had strictures placed on him concerning food and drink.
Steve intended to obey the restrictions so he wouldn't miss the first day of the real trial.
Naturally such news tried to rob Steve of his sleep, which he'd been ordered to get in preparation for the next day. He tried to stop his mind spinning by closing his eyes and reviewing the call he'd shared with Bucky. As his results hadn't come in until after he'd hung up, Steve hadn't been able to fill Bucky in on the dangers to their baby. Then again, he hadn't yet gotten to even tell Bucky they were going to be parents.
With a groan, Steve got up and headed off to find the most mind-numbing activity he could participate in: speak to Tony about the inventor's latest project. He hoped Tony could bore or confuse him into a stupor.
Setting: AU: Tuesday, April 22, 2014: Washington, D.C., United States of America
Surprised by the sheer amount of evidence presented by the prosecution, most in the form of video and CCTV footage, Steve watched from his seat between Tony and Happy. The court had not yet shown the video evidence; Judge Watson wanted to review it first to see if she would allow it, but the amount overwhelmed the mind. From his seat near the defense table, Steve could faintly catch Bucky's natural scent: still that same musk he'd always loved. Bucky seemed not to be worried, in fact.
The judge didn't allow witnesses to be called, surprisingly. She instead spoke very clearly to the court, "this is proving a most unusual trial. I will review the video footage for admissibility. We will reconvene in two days time. Court dismissed." She stood and Steve glanced at the clock: noon.
Hurrying to tap Foggy's shoulder in front of him, Steve whispered, "I need to talk to Bucky. It's very important."
Glancing at Steve then at Matt and Bucky, Foggy cleared his throat and said, "Bailiff, we need a private room to discuss the outcome with our client and his spouse. Are you able to provide the room and security?"
The stocky redhead let his eyes rove over the small group, ignoring as the Avengers hesitated. He nodded, "this way, but you won't get it for long. No appointment."
Steve turned and told Tony, "I'll just be fifteen minutes." He knew the sooner he got back to the tower for the surgery, the better the outcome would be.
"I'll just hang around with Happy," Tony said. He didn't seem to be up to his normal snarky comebacks, distracted by who knew what went on in the inventor's mind.
Steve nodded and followed Foggy from the courtroom, staying an acceptable distance from Bucky. The small group entered the enarby private interview room and two security staff members waited by the door, watchful but not on high alert.
Bucky looked at the Bailiff before he could leave. "May I touch my mate?"
"Yes, but do not try to pass anything to each other. You will be searched before leaving the room." The Bailiff sat down in a chair close at hand, watching intently.
Bucky held out a slightly trembling hand to Steve, revealing he felt nervous finally touching his husband. "Stevie?"
Smiling softly, Steve leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to Bucky's. "Buck . . . I - - I don't even know what to say . . ." His mind raced a mile a minute, going through everything he wanted and needed to say..
"You look pale, Cariad. You sick? Didn't think we got sick for long." Bucky laced fingers with Steve and leaned forward enough to touch foreheads. "I love you. Miss you a hella lot, too."
"Buck . . . I'm pregnant," Steve breathed out low enough that only Bucky would be able to hear him.
Surprise lit Bucky's pale blue eyes. He leaned in close and nuzzled at Steve's neck. "I got you pregnant?" Fear and pride and love and excitement warred all together through him. He never once questioned that he was the father of any infant Steve might carry. "Wow. Who'd have thought I'd be able to get you, my beautiful husband, pregnant. Damn . . . we're gonna be papas?"
Steve hesitated, so used to keeping his health issues from his lover and best friend. But he had determined to start opening up, sharing the burden. "Buck, I need surgery. The babys in danger. I don't have time to explain. I can tonight."
Eyes roving his lover's face, Bucky nodded slowly. "Okay. You rest and get better. I'll contact you tonight and we can talk about us. And . . . us," Bucky dropped to silence, his own clever mind racing over the possibilities of their future and the implications of Steve's health revelations.
Feeling oddly relieved instead of guilty for sharing the burden, Steve nodded and nuzzled at Bucky's neck, "and we just gotta get all this taken care of so you can go home. " He waved a hand at the room. "You're gonna be a great father, Buck."
"So will you, Cariad." Laughing softly, Bucky said, "imagine a world where two men can not only raise a baby but make it together?" Bucky nuzzled again. "We'll do everything the court and stuff say, Stevie. Our kid's gonna be so safe and happy."
"Safe and happy," Steve echoed with a nod, "We'll get through this just like we've gotten through everything else. Together. You and me, Buck."
"To the end of the line, Stevie. I love you. You don't forget it." Bucky kissed him a long moment then reluctantly pulled back as the Bailiff called, "almost time."
Steve rose to his feet and said, "you talk to the lawyers, Buck. They know what they're doing. I've gotta go."
He gave his husband one last, longing look, then hurried out the door and down the hall, looking for Happy or Tony or Pepper.
Setting: AU: Tuesday, April 22, 2014: New York City, Manhattan, United States of America
Laying ensconced in the recovery bed Bruce had transferred him to after the delicate surgery, Steve blinked up at the ceiling. He hadn't really felt anything despite being under no medication since none would last in doses small enough not to threaten the fetus. Slipping one hand over his abdomen, the Super Soldier blinked again and softly sighed. "How are you doing, little one?"
"Oh, I'm fine. Not so little, but I won't take umbrage," Tony quipped from the doorway, a huge grin on his face. He strode in without being invited and offered Steve a single tulip with no vase or water. "For the expectant mother."
Steve stared at Tony a long moment then started smiling, a chuckle escaping. He took the single flower and said, "thanks, Tony."
Tony slipped onto the nearest chair and stared intently at Steve. Steve stared back.
Finally, wondering if he looked messed up from the surgery or something, despite it not having to do with his face, Steve asked, "what?"
"Just wondering if Pops knew that you were an Omega," Tony answered immediately. "See, Erskine and Johnson wrote down that they thought you were. I found the notes. But My father didn't make any speculations in his own notes. I just wondered if he thought you were, too. And," Tony stood and paced over to check Steve's IV, "I wondered if that was why it worked. The entire serum thing. Bruce is a Beta. Maybe the serum only works on Omegas."
"Was Bruce a Gamma before his try?" Steve asked, curious.
"No, I was always a Beta," Bruce answered from the doorway, glancing at Tony with a hesitant look. He strode in and over to the bed, "Tony, don't touch that. I want to be sure he's well hydrated." At Tony's snort, though the inventor did back off, Bruce turned to Steve. "Success. Your endometriosis was successfully cryo-treated and your valve closed. And all scans and tests say the baby is fine, no distress, no infections."
"Yay!" Tony broke in. "Party time!"
At the confused looks from the other two men, Tony said, "it's not every day we get to celebrate a new life in this tower. Come on, guys. It'll be fun. Balloons and confetti and cake, right?"
"And drinks, you mean?" Bruce asked, sounding amused.
"Well, not for the expectant mother, but for me, definitely," Tony grinned widely.
Steve, not offended, in too good a mood at the news that his baby was okay, grinned widely and settled back in his pillows. "You have a drink for me, Stark. Let's do this party thing."
A smile slipped over Bruce's normally haggard face. "Okay, but in moderation for Steve." He sank onto a chair as Tony hurried happily from the sickroom. "You were saying something about Betas when I came in?"
Nodding, Steve looked at the gentle scientist and doctor. "Yes, Dr. Erskine told me that the serum was designed to do two things. The military wanted to fix any pre existing health problems so they had a wider choice of soldiers. Dr. Arskine wanted a way to heal Gammas. So, he designed the serum to work on Gammas. I don't know if his design worked on non-Gammas and he didn't live to adjust it, unless he made a second batch without my knowledge."
"Ah, since I had no health problems," Bruce sighed, "the serum might have tried to fix things that didn't need it. That is something to look into." He fell silent.
"What about the endometriosis? Why didn't the serum fix that?" Steve asked, hand still resting over his abdomen.
Bruce met Steve's eyes. "My theory is that it did, Steve, but your body overruled the serum and produced it again. You see, I have a theory that the serum doesn't affect cell growth, meaning you could still get cancer or endometriosis or any number of conditions related to extra cell growth. The serum doesn't differentiate between healthy and malignant, perhaps? Or, it doesn't see the extra cell growth from endometriosis as a threat because it's not malignant?" Bruce shook his head. "I'm still looking into this."
"Do you think the Russians or Hydra had the same limitations?" Steve asked, frowning.
"What do you mean?" Bruce met Steve's eyes.
"The Russians apparently developed a way to turn Omegas into Gammas and Alphas into Omegas," Steve pointed out. "And I know Hydra worked on the serum, too. But I'm not sure if presentation was part of that. They used their serum on Bucky."
Steve's tablet chimed and his eyes lit up. He smiled widely and said, "gotta take this, Bruce. It's my husband." He savored the freedom of being able to call Bucky that at last with no repercussions.
With a soft chuckle and smile, Bruce stood and nodded. "Good. We'll talk later. You let him know the baby's doing fine."
"I plan to," Steve picked up his tablet and answered the nightly call from Bucky, eager to talk to his lover. "Hey, Buck," Steve's voice came out a caress. He was barely aware when Bruce left, chuckling still.
"Cariad, Bucky immediately responded, smiling. "You look happy. The surgery went well?" Bucky touched his screen with a caressing gesture, letting Steve know the other man stroked his face.
"Yes, Bruce just came in to tell me. Apparently," Steve took a breath and explained, "I have a condition called endometriosis. It causes uterine tissue to grow outside of the uterus. In this case, it was in m rectum and blocking the valve that closes the womb. Bruce was able to use cryo to freeze the tissue and remove it." Steve stopped for a longer breath and smiled at Bucky's understanding nod
"You've had this the whole time, and no one thought to diagnose you with a girl's disease, huh?" Bucky proved his understanding. "So, the cramps? The odd bumps? Maybe the bleeding I remember?"
"All of it. Well, beside my menstrual symptoms. I'll have to ask why I still got those symptoms if I was sterile," Steve looked thoughtful. He tenderly stroked the image of Bucky's face. "Bruce thinks the serum won't heal the endometriosis because it's extra cells growing, but not malignant cells. The serum doesn't recognize it as a disease or problem. I'll have this the rest of my life. But, Bruce told me a bit ago, it can be controlled with medicine. I'll ask about it again next time I see him."The blond super soldier grinned widely at his brunet husband. "Tony and Bruce are partying. They're celebrating our baby, Bucky."
Steve paused then added, again, "our baby."
A wide smile answered Steve's words as Bucky nodded happily. "We're gonna have a baby. Tata would be stunned. And happy, I think. He would have been happy."
The fact that Bucky seemed to be remembering more of his childhood pleased Steve. Bucky'd had a very loving childhood. Those would be good memories for the other man, and Steve wanted Bucky to have good memories.
"Did he have to cut you open?" Bucky's worried voice broke through Steve's thoughts.
Surprised, Steve shook his head in response, "no. Since it was accessible rectally, he went that way. I was awake and barely felt anything. It was like a very long session with Dr. Keilmeyer or Dr. Johnson. There was some cold, and I tasted bananas due to a topic medicine they applied at first. But it went smoothly."
"Good," Bucky nodded and stroked the screen again. "Steve, Matt says to tell you not to worry about the prosecution. He's got enough witnesses to refute all the evidence." Since being legally proven mates, Bucky had been permitted to discuss his case with Steve in the evenings, which opened up any topic they wanted to talk about in a half hour time period.
"Okay. I've given him some avenues to explore. Buck," Steve paused, so used to hiding things from the other man in a way to protect him. Steve forced himself to break his old habit. "I told him about your PTSD."
Meeting Steve's eyes, Bucky nodded slowly. "Yeah, I've been in some counseling for that since you told. I'm glad you said something. I really didn't know how to ask for help, you know? A friend of yours, Sam Wilson, has been coming over every day just to talk, sometimes about the trauma, sometimes about life. No one mentions my time as the Winter Soldier. It's off limits to most people. I think that's nuts, since I've got more trauma lurking and popping up randomly from that then I do from the war." THe brunet sounded frustrated as he shook his head, light blue eyes narrowing in frustration.
"It's gonna be okay, Bucky. They'll be covering that soon. And as soon as they do, I'm sure you'll be allowed to talk about it to Sam, since it won't be secret or whatever the government or courts are trying to do with it." Steve paused then offered, a bit softer, "you can talk to me about it, Bucky. You're allowed to tell your husband about everything."
A stunned look came over the prisoner then a dawning realization followed by a soft smile. "Yeah, I can. Stevie, you up for hearing the nightmares? Cause it's a lot of nightmares I'm remembering. If it's reality, no person should ever go through what I have."
Steve opened his mouth and a chime sounded, followed by Bucky's frustrated sigh. "Talk to you tomorrow, Cariad. I love you."
"I love you, too, Buck. Tomorrow," Steve agreed and the screen went blank. He turned off his tablet and lay back in the hospital bed, thoughtfully turning over the conversation. By Bucky's reaction, Steve slowly came to the realization that he could have been sharing all this time. If he'd told Bucky about his condition, even the false cancer reading, Bucky wouldn't have freaked out. He'd have found ways to work around it and help Steve. Steve had been trying to protect Bucky, when Bucky had been his anchor the whole time. His husband was made of stronger stuff than Steve had ever realized.
He vowed never to keep secrets from Bucky again.
Setting: AU: Monday, May 5, 2014: Washington, D.C., United States of America
Standing before the judge's bench, Matt Murdock seemed oblivious to the triumphant smirk on the prosecuting attorney's face. The man had presented videos and files concerning numerous attacks, and all of the grainy footage seemed to show Bucky as the assassin.
Clearly, Matt called. "I call to the stand Thomas James Volk, please."
Confusion lit the prosecutor's face, as the defense hadn't needed to present him the list of witnesses.
The doors of the courtroom opened and TJ strode into the room, his chin held high and his long strides sure footed. His lean, fit form had been dressed in a nice dove grey suit, his normally wild brunet curls styled and tamed thanks to Natasha's efforts. Murmurs spread fast through the crowded courtroom as TJ made his way to the witness stand. TJ looked almost identical to Bucky himself, perhaps a little younger.
Bucky straightened in his chair and watched the younger man intently, a faint memory of a wailing infant surfacing then flicking away just as quickly.
TJ completed his oath to tell the truth before sitting down and looking towards Matt.
"Could you state your name, rank or title if you have one, occupation, and genetic presentation, please," Matt began.
"Thomas James Volk," TJ answered smoothly; nothing about his posture gave off any hint that he might be nervous. "I worked as an agent of Shield before the collapse and as of right now, I am unemployed. I am of the Alpha presentation."
"And, Mister Volk, have you held a military rank in any government present or defunct?" Matt asked.
Nodding once, TJ answered clearly, "I used to be a Winter Soldier for the organization called Hydra." A murmur spread through the crowd.
Matt nodded. "The same Hydra program the defendant served?" He seemed unsurprised by the answers, naturally.
"Yes, Sir," TJ confirmed with a nod, his eyes focused on Matt. He hadn't once looked over at Bucky, the man he resembled as close as twins.
"And, Mister Volk, did you ever associate with the defendant. If so, how, please." Matt never turned from TJ, letting Foggy observe how the prosecution reacted.
The prosecution sat, bitter frowns on both of their faces. Evidently they could see their own case hitting a very big obstacle they might not be able to get past.
"Mr. Barnes trained me as I grew up within Hydra and the Winter Soldier program," TJ explained, his hands folded neatly in his lap.
Nodding, Matt asked, "and, Mr. Volk, are you familiar with the techniques the agency would use to persuade someone to follow orders?" The prosecution frowned since Matt had worded it in such a way to avoid using opinion, mind control, or other questionable phrases.
"Yes, Sir," TJ nodded, his eyes finally flickering to look at Bucky for a moment before looking back at Matt, "Hydra had many ways of . . . persuading unwilling men and women to enforce their will on the world."
Nodding, Matt said, "thank you, Mister Volk. During your service to Hydra, what work did you perform, please." Again, the prosecution had to silently watch as Matt introduced the idea of forced control without suggesting it himself.
Steve watched from his seat between Tony and Happy. He couldn't take his eyes off of TJ, stunned by just how much the younger man looked like his husband. It shook Steve to his core, wondering what Hydra had done to create a copy of Bucky.
Taking and releasing a breath, TJ glanced to Bucky once more as he said, "I performed multiple assassinations on people all over the world. People who Hydra didn't want around." His pale blue eyes moved back to Matt. He knew he'd already told the government about what he'd done in his past. He'd been put into rehabilitation and ordered to help the American government in order to pay for his crimes against the free world.
"Did you get assigned any cases which were filmed, to the best of your present knowledge?" Matt asked, still professional and calm.
"Hydra tried to maintain secrecy when it came to the Winter Soldier program, but videos were taken from security footage and other various methods," TJ shrugged his shoulders slightly, "so, the answer to your question is, yes, I have been filmed performing some of my missions."
"Would you be able to answer affirmatively which missions if presented with a list?" Matt asked, knowing the Winter Soldiers had never been told when any camera might actually be running while pointed at them.
"No, Sir," TJ shook his head, "I wouldn't be able to tell you by looking at a list. It was not in mission parameters to know if there was a chance we might be filmed."
Nodding, Matt asked, "were you told where your missions took place when you were sent out?"
Shaking his head again, TJ replied, "no, Sir. We were given only the information we needed to know, such as who our targets were. We were told how to get to our targets and where to meet after the mission had been completed."
"If I showed a video right now of a filmed mission, would you be able to say definitively that was one of your missions and you were the one making the killing strike?" Matt asked.
"Yes, I would be able to do that," TJ confirmed with a nod, "if the image is clear enough."
Nodding as the prosecution looked smug, Matt turned and gave Foggy a nod to turn on a video turned towards the Jury, judge, and TJ, though the viewing audience could not see the display. The video had previously been viewed and cleared by the judge as relevant, and the jury had been warned that some of the videos were graphic. A counselor stood on hand to help the jury with any after effects of witnessing the content.
The video played out a scene of a brown haired man with curls but full goggles and filter over his mouth. He was dressed in dark gear and the black and white footage seemed to blur occasionally. The man aimed a gun at an unknown target and shot. Another shot rang out and the camera seemed to pan to a slumped man on a dirt road in 1970's style clothing.
The prosecutor, also permitted to watch, claimed, "Objection! No one could tell who this is, even by the road. Defense is deliberately using footage meant to cloud the case."
The judge looked at Giles Gordan and coldly informed him, "this particular video was chosen by me from the evidence you provided." Gordan flushed and slumped in his chair, but Judge Watson turned to Matt and asked, "Mister Murdock, is there any footage you have that is less obscure for this same event?"
"No, ma'am, but I do have one piece of video evidence for another event that is very clear and listed among the pieces submitted by the prosecution," Matt offered.
"One, ma'am," Matt sighed. He had Foggy turn on the footage of a car being chased by motorcycles, the driver killed by hand but the masked man refusing to kill the civilian woman and leaving camera range at being ordered to kill the witness. After a moment he stepped back into the video frame and killed her then turned and shot the camera, obviously knowing it had captured him, despite TJ's previous claim of not being told when they were filmed.
The jury murmured, some looking nauseated.
The judge stared straight at the prosecutor. "Is that clear enough for you?" she bit out.
With a nod, the prosecutor swallowed and said, "yes, Your Honor." He seemed less confident than when he'd given the judge the evidence two days before.
"Proceed, counsel," Judge Watson turned to Matt.
"Mister Volk. Were you on that mission?" Matt asked.
"Yes, Sir, I was," TJ nodded.
"And was Sergeant Barnes on that mission?" Matt asked. He seemed perfectly relaxed.
"We were both on that mission, Sir," TJ confirmed, his eyes flickering to Bucky, who frowned in confusion and lack of recognition of the mission, and then back to Matt.
Matt tilted his head and asked, "and was there anyone else on that mission?"
"Yes, Sir, another Hydra operative that died shortly after this was caught on camera," TJ said.
Matt turned to the general viewers, "Please let it be known to the court that said video shows a masked man eliminating a target identified later as an international arms dealer with ties to both Hydra and Shield. Loyalties were never fully established. The assassin walks off camera. A masked assassin comes into shot after a minute and thirty seconds and eliminates a second target, identified as a civilian unrelated to any presently known crimes or charges." Turning back to TJ, Matt asked, "the man who did the two killings is said to be the same man. Is this accurate?"
Shaking his head once more, TJ answered, "no, Sir. That's not accurate. The two . . . victims were killed by two different people."
"And yet both assassins wear identical clothing, have similar to identical builds, and do not speak loudly enough on audio to be compared. Can you identify the assassin who killed the civilian, a crime listed as among the terrorist crimes on trial today?" Matt asked. The prosecution had not listed the crime against the arms dealer in the charges and Matt did not press that issue.
"Yes, Sir, the civilian was killed by a Hydra operative known as Predan," TJ answered honestly, "he was another Winter Soldier. The clothes that he is wearing are standard uniforms for any Winter Soldier in the field."
At the name, Bucky shuddered, his eyes widening on horror. He fought his panic and the snatches of pain, humiliation, and illness. He began murmuring under his breath and Foggy leaned close to hear.
Steve's eyes snapped from TJ's face to Bucky, noting the familiar look of fear on his husband's face, though he could only see the side of it. It killed him to do so, but Steve refrained from trying to comfort his lover in the middle of the court proceedings.
Foggy placed a hand on Bucky's arm and leaned in close to whisper to the defendant, trying to soothe him.
"May I remind you, Mister Volk you are under an oath of truth?" Matt prompted. "Are you sure the civilian's assassin was not the man on trial today?"
"Yes, Sir," TJ answered again, not a single sign that he could be lying, "the man who killed the civilian is the Hydra operative named Predan. He died shortly after this, but with the recent release of Hydra files, I am sure you can find his information."
Matt turned and walked to his defense table. He laid a comforting hand on Bucky's shoulder which apparently helped to calm him in juncture with Foggy's words. They had taken Steve's advice of touch and familiarity to heart. Matt picked up a file and walked it back to the judge. "This file contains Hydra prisoner of war records on Sergeant Barnes, including medical experiments and tortures done. Please note, the chief jailer's name is Predan, who is listed as a senior Winter Soldier."
A gasp ran over the court gallery, but hushed so quickly the judge let it go unchecked. Bucky shuddered and turned, putting his face in Foggy's shoulder for a moment. As reporters snapped pictures, without flash, and the jury wrote on their legal pads, the blind lawyer ignored everything around him, though he took it all in, and stopped in front of the judge's podium.
He passed the file on. "I posit that, should we review every crime taped allegedly containing the defendant, we can not be sure the masked man is my client. It could be Mister Volk, Mister Predan, or any other of a number of Winter Soldiers. All were of a standard height, weight, and build. Here are the files we have concerning Winter Soldier selection and training." He passed a computer USB drive to the judge.
Steve watched the judge with held breath, nervous yet hopeful. Could this be what they needed to get Bucky free?
Accepting the files, the judge let Matt finish with TJ then call up Natasha to testify about the Soviet training of Winter Soldiers. But anything discussed after TJ's big reveal felt anticlimactic. Bucky never lifted his face nor stopped his murmuring as Foggy whispered continually to the traumatized ex-soldier.
Setting: AU: Monday, May 5, 2014: Washington, D.C., United States of America
After the judge dismissed court for the day, Steve hurried over to the defense table, security stood close to hand, but as the jury filed out and at the gallery cleared, some reporters forcibly removed, Bucky remained sitting with his face buried in Foggy's shoulder. The Bailiff nodded as Steve slipped into Matt's empty chair.
"Buck? It's me, Stevie." No one left challenged Bucky when he switched to burying his face in Steve's shoulder and sniffing deeply of that familiar sweet scent his husband had always had.
Even Giles Gordan remained quiet and merely watching, knowing he couldn't really interrupt this off-the-record moment. But his eyes took in everything and his active braint turned it over in his mind.
Steve refrained from wrapping his arms around Bucky, knowing Bucky had to make the move first. Even if the Bailiff let them embrace, moving too soon could trigger a screaming episode from Bucky. While it could prove every bit useful for others to see Bucky's actual reaction, Steve wouldn't put his husband through such a nightmare deliberately. Instead, he used his voice. "Hey, Buck. It's okay. I'm here. We're safe."
He heard when Matt leaned into Foggy and asked what Bucky had been whispering to him.
Foggy replied, softly, "he wasn't whispering to me, Matt. He was repeating phrases, sounded like different languages. When I could pick out some English, he was reciting his name and rank and a bunch of numbers." Foggy looked to Matt's face, despite the other man's blindness. The blond sounded haunted when he said, "just like Steve said, he was flashing back and using his mantra. Not sure what he flashed back to, but I'd guess the war."
Suddenly, at a nod from the Bailiff, a slender African American man stepped over and touched Foggy's shoulder. "Let me, Mr. Nelson," he said, his tone soft and sure, no hint of fear, no hint of worry, just a calm sympathy.
Looking up, Steve felt relief. "He reacts better when we allow him to make the first move touching, Sam," Steve advised his friend, a former rescue paratrooper and a volunteer at the VA. Sam worked with PTSD soldiers.
Nodding once, Sam slipped into Foggy's vacated seat. He began softly helping talk down Bucky, actually getting the traumatized brunet to speak about his fears. Sam broke through that age-old mantra and got Bucky to acknowledge his present safety. Then, Sam did something no one would have thought of. He looked into Bucky's haunted eyes and said, "Predan died, Bucky. He died some time ago, in the 1990's. Right?"
Slowly, Bucky met Sam's eyes, still leaning against Steve. "He did . . . he died." Bucky couldn't recall how his tormentor had died, but he'd been told several times that the man had died. Bucky shuddered then straightened, stiff against his husband though not pulling away. "He can't . . . can't . . ."
"That's right," Sam interjected before Bucky could say what Predan might do. "He can't, any more. You are safe. Can you tell me where you are, Bucky?"
Looking around, meeting the shocked eyes of the prosecutor, Bucky slowly said, "court. I'm at court for my treason trial." He took a breath and continued, unprompted. "It's May fifth in two-thousand four. And that monster died in the '90's." He broke eye contact and turned his face into Steve's neck to take a long scenting of his husband. "I'm free. I'm home. My Cariad."
Giles got up and hurried from the courtroom; he looked shaken to the very core.
Softly, the judge called out, "are you feeling a bit more settled, Sergeant Barnes?"
Bucky lifted his head and met her eyes. He nodded slowly, "yes, Your Honor. Thank . . . thank you for your indulgence."
She nodded and said, just as gently, "I know you want to be with your husband at a time like this, but I can't allow that due to regulations. I'm going to send you back to your present home with the recommendation you are accompanied by your lawyers and counselor. Will you accept this recommendation?"
"Yes, Your Honor," Bucky breathed, sounding like he wanted to protest but held back. He stood slowly and Sam practically clung to his side.
"Say goodnight to your husband, then, Sergeant," the judge instructed.
Steve stood and stepped closer. He kissed Bucky gently and Bucky responded. After only moments, knowing they were limited, Bucky pulled back. "Good night, Cariad. I love you. I'll see you tonight."
"Tonight, Buck," Steve agreed instantly. "I'll see you then." He stroked Bucky's cheek and offered a smile of support. "I love you, Bucky."
The small group of lawyers, counselor, and defendant moved off, accompanied by security, leaving Steve and the judge alone in the room.
Judge Watson sighed and met Captain Roger's eyes. "Off the record? I think that man belongs at home and in therapy, not in custody. But that's for the jury."
"Thank you, Your Honor," Steve replied, meeting her eyes. "Even off the record, it means the word to me to know you see it, too."
They nodded to each other and Steve left the courtroom, meeting up with Tony, Happy, and Pepper once more.
Setting: AU: Monday, May 5, 2014: Washington, D.C., United States of America
Settling into the meeting room set aside for detainees and their lawyers, Bucky allowed Sam to settle him in a chair, accepting the man's firm yet gentle touch readily enough. He had slipped into a fugue state, nightmares of Azzano ripping through his mind, during the trial. He didn't know how long he'd been out of it or what was said during that time. All he knew was he finally had Steve's scene and Sam's words to help him find his way back. Bucky hoped to God he hadn't done anything violent while he'd zoned out.
Looking up at the three men with him, Bucky cleared his throat and, voice raspier than usual, asked, "did I hurt anyone?"
"No," Matt answered firmly. "You didn't even try to get up or move except to bury your face in the nearest person's neck. That was Foggy. Like we arranged when we found out about your triggers." Matt stepped over to the table and sat on the edge of his own chair, letting Sam hold Bucky's right wrist in one hand, the other settled on Bucky's shoulder. The lawyer hadn't experienced Bucky's flashbacks before and this had been very enlightening.
"Bucky, the prosecution had you listed as a post traumatic war vet who triggered into violence so was taken in by Hydra. They would direct your violence against the free world." Matt watched Bucky as he finally revealed what the prosecution's true, full claim had been.
"That's what I was told at one point by Pierce," Bucky sighed. "I really didn't pay attention to that. I have so many memory gaps and I'm told I get violent when I black out. It's one of the reasons I was put in the chair and wiped clean."
Sam shook his head and said, "I've thought that man lied to you and now I'm beginning to see the proof. Bucky, you might need to be in a hospital for a while. Just until you can get things straight."
Stiffening, Bucky shook his head, eyes going wide in a different kind of fear than the one displayed in the courtroom. "No, please. I can't go to a crazy house. They'll torture me and won't let me out, Sam. Please." The brunet fell into a begging tone.
"Okay," Sam agreed instantly, sensing Bucky was nowhere near ready to discuss such an option or even listen to the fact that things didn't happen the same way they did when Bucky was young. "No hospital. How about a retreat? It's a place where you go to be away from stimuli Counselors help you discuss and deal with the issues. After a few months, you come home with coping methods and hopefully a better understanding and way to deal with the trauma?"
"Sounds like another way to say nut house," Bucky frowned, looking at Sam. "Isn't there a way to help me without locking me away from Steve?"
Latching onto that revealing statement, Sam said, "Steve was in a retreat when he came out of the ice. So he could deal with the passing time and all the changes. I believe you and he can go to the same retreat together while you deal with what's happened to you."
Finally, the super soldier listened. He met Sam's eyes, considering the words. Nodding, slowly, Bucky said, "okay. If Steve and I can go together, and he agrees, and they don't take our baby. And there's counselors like you to help me deal. I can do that. But no hospital. And not without my family."
Sam smiled and nodded. "I'll look into it. Discuss things with Steve." He held up a hand before either lawyer could jump in, "and it's dependent on the results of the trial. But, it's a real possibility."
Apparently the possibility of a retreat with Steve appealed to Bucky, soothing him. He placed his handcuffed wrists and hands up on the table, pulling lightly out of half of Sam's grasp. Meeting Foggy's eyes, Bucky cleared his throat and said, "can you tell me what I missed in court today?"
With a nod, Foggy sank into his chair and said, "not much, Bucky. I mean,a lot, but not much. TJ finished up his witness statements then they brought Natasha Romanov out to discuss Winter Soldier training and missions. No more videos played. She did talk about an attack that was done, an assasinationw where a Winter Soldier shot right through her to get to the target. She said at the time she was certain it was TJ, but after seeing you and knowing there were others who resembled you while in the standard uniform and mask, she thought she might be mistaken."
Anyone who knew Natasha would have known she hadn't really been mistaken or even felt she was. She'd said that on the stand to create confusion. It was nearly impossible to tell when Natasha told the truth, lies, or a twisted mesh of both. Even the imposter Loki hadn't been able to put an accurate read on her and she'd played him like a symphony.
Matt asked, "Bucky, do you recall shooting through a red-haired woman to kill a target?"
Thinking for a long moment, Bucy shook his head. "I don't remember doing that. It's possible I did. I can't remember every hit, Matt. Most missions I would be put through the chair and cryo after. Pierce was really big on cryo, in fact. He seemed to love the idea of keeping me on ice, like some kinda doll he could play with."
"Okay," Sam interrupted. "Bucky, how're you feeling? Need us to back off? I know you had a pretty bad flashback today."
Meeting the counselor's deep brown eyes, Bucky shook his head, absently thinking the slight gap between Sam's upper front teeth made him more approachable: in a boy-next-door kind of way. "No, I'm better now. Exhausted and a bit strung out, but I'm good. I want to figure this out. The sooner we get things planned, the sooner we can get through this, right?"
Pausing at Bucky's words, Sam carefully asked, "Bucky, do you see this as a mission?"
With a blink of pale blue eyes, Bucky sat back and looked stunned. He shook his head then smiled slowly, if not cheerfully. "No, Sam. I'm not fugueing right now. I know we're talking about my case for treason and getting me cleared so I can go home and recover. I just use the term because I'm so used to it after all these years."
Relief washed over Sam and he nodded, smiling back. "Good. Because I don't want you to push so hard you trigger yourself."
"Okay, we've countered the video evidence," matt jumped in. "The judge, in fact, has claimed that she wants to ban anything which doesn't clearly show Bucky's face or use his name. That got everything eliminated, since TJ looks like Bucky. The prosecution wasn't happy but agreed."
"So, I did miss something big?" Bucky asked, frowning.
Foggy jumped in, "not really, Bucky. That's what we were aiming for with the specific footage we chose. We had access to all the evidence they submitted and found the best two clips to present for the jury. They might be taken off the evidence list now, but the reasonable doubt is there. They can see TJ served at the same time as Bucky. They'll seriously consider his testimony when trying to determine who did which mission."
"She was a woman, maybe in her fifties," Bucky suddenly said, his eyes slightly unfocusing but his voice steady and calm, not stiff or forced. "She was a civilian and was not a . . . viable target. I argued we shouldn't kill her." Bucky turned to look at Foggy. "And he shot her anyway."
"TJ?" Foggy asked, frowning.
"No, Predan." Bucky said the name in disgust. "He shot her, telling me they wanted no witnesses. TJ didn't kill anyone that mission. He was supposed to make sure the road stayed clear of witnesses passing by." Blinking, looking surprised, Bucky added, "I shot the man. And he knew me. He said my name. But he was dealing arms for both sides. He was a viable target and a threat." Shaking, Bucky covered his face in his hands, the cuffs rattling against his metal arm with the movements.
Sam slipped an arm around Bucky's shoulders and looked at the others. "The guy wasn't on the charge list, right? The dealer? The prosecution wasn't charging him with that?" He turned Bucky's face into his own neck, despite his Alpha scent not matching Steve's Omega scent in the least Sam smelled of wood fires and forest breezes.
"No, he's not charged with the man's death. The civilian was the one Ross thought they could press," Matt answered, frowning, listening to Bucky's raised heartbeat and his labored breathing. "We're done tonight. He needs a break. It's too much, too soon." Matt turned his face towards the security standing nearby. "We'll sit with him a bit until he's calm then let him go back to his cell, if that's okay?"
"Yeah," the guard replied, looking actually worried about the assassin they guarded. "Sounds like he could use a friend. Need some water? We can get water."
"Thank you, please?" Matt answered.
One guard left hurriedly on the errand while the other remained vigilant despite his sympathy.
Bucky never even tried to say 'boo,' too wrapped up in grieving a friend he'd long forgotten killing.