0515. Far too early. 0520. Way too early. 0525. Shepard opened one eye, looked around, then slammed her hand back down on the alarm. 0530. Alenko hammered on her door. As much as she wanted to, she couldn't slam her hand down on him to make him go away. She grumbled something obscene and rolled out of bed, missing her feet entirely to land on her knees on the floor.
"Ow! Dammit! Sweet frickin' baby Jesus. When did I turn ninety and lose basic coordination skills? What's next? Adult diapers?" She braced against the bed and shoved herself up onto her feet.
"Are you up, Captain?" Alenko banged on the door again.
"Sparky, if you want to keep that arm go eat your damned breakfast, and get your ass to the comm room for 0600." She flopped face first across the bed.
"Yes, ma'am. Good morning." He chuckled, and she could swear she heard him bouncing out there.
Morning people sucked. "New punishment protocol for perkiness before 0900. Take notes, LT." She didn't lift her face out of her blankets.
"And what is that, ma'am?"
"Firing squad. Now go away."
"Yes, ma'am. I'll have hot chocolate with extra sugar and creamer waiting in the comm room."
She opened her mouth to yell at him again, but she heard him bound away. Besides, she couldn't really kill her supplier before she got her chocolate fix for the day.
She managed to drag herself up to the comm room by 0555 and flopped in her chair. The heads of all departments awaited her, datapads held expectantly in front of them.
Note to self: New punishment protocol for being overly punctual to morning briefings, also firing squad.
Alenko placed a large thermos of hot chocolate in her hand and sat in the chair to her right.
She took a couple of sips. Strong enough to stand a spoon in. Perfect. After giving Sparky a nod of thanks, she leaned forward on her knees. "Good morning. I know we haven't had a chance to get acquainted, and frankly, it's a luxury this mission isn't going to allow. We'll have to get to know each other as we go. If we're going to run Saren to ground, we need to get our asses moving and stay scalpel sharp." She paused to meet each set of eyes, waiting for a nod of understanding from each before moving on.
"I'm going to be off-ship a great deal, so all daily operations will be reported directly to XO Pressley." She looked at the older, balding man. Something about him rubbed her the wrong way, but he presented a credible, reliable face to the crew. She knew her limitations as well as her strengths, and her reputation always presented her biggest hurdle. Until the crew saw that she was a standup CO and had their backs, they needed security. Pressley could give them that.
"Pressley, what you think needs my attention, you bring to me. Everything else you have my authority to handle. Supplies, equipment . . . if we can easily afford it, go ahead. If it's going to be a problem financially, let me know, and I'll try to make it work." She raised her eyebrows and waited.
"Yes, ma'am." He preened a little.
"Daily reports, logs, requisitions all go to Pressley." Looking over at Kaidan, she sighed. "Except for you, Sparky. Your Marines will be providing back up and support on the ground, so anything that affects their performance, I know. This entire crew's safety depends on them and the team. Schedule two hours a day for the team and your people to work out together. I want the members of my ground teams familiar enough to read each other's minds."
"Aye, aye, ma'am."
She looked over at Chief Engineer Adams. "The IES is at peak?"
"Yes, ma'am. Stealth system, engines, all running at optimal performance," the middle-aged engineer reported, his back ramrod straight in his seat. "Tali'Zorah is a great asset, and has ideas about how to help mask our FTL doppler shifts. We'll be examining them and their possible execution in the new few days."
Shepard nodded. "Excellent. Thank you. Report directly to me on your results. I need to know exactly what I can ask both of this vessel and her crew." She took another long draught off her thermos and then stood.
"We're a lot more blind out here than I'm comfortable with, but if our current intel is accurate, Saren plans to unleash the same nightmare that exterminated the Protheans. Whether or not we have the Council's support, whether or not anyone believes the threat is real, we have to be the sentinel in his path." She took a few steps, her eyes on the floor in the 'strong leader faces an uncertain future' posture. "I'd rather be wrong and have the galaxy mock me than to take a chance that the Reapers exist, and Saren can bring them back." Looking up, she saw agreement register on their faces.
Pacing to the ramp out of the room and then back, she ordered her thoughts. "I understand that none of you know me well enough to trust me . . . yet." Spinning on her heel, she met the eye of each department head once more, spending a little longer locking stares with Pressley than the others.
"I also know that I have a reputation . . . well, more than one. Most of them are true. I'm known for pulling out the big win, but I'm also known for doing it in the way least expected. I hope that will give us an edge against Saren, but I understand that my unorthodox methods take some getting used to." She looked down at her boots. She'd dripped hot chocolate on her left one. Damn.
"One thing I am not is reckless." She pulled her polishing cloth out of a side pocket of her trousers and cleaned away the drip. Satisfied, she straightened, but remained silent, waiting long enough to speak that they all leaned in.
Letting out a long, resolute breath, she straightened her shoulders and gave her head a little nod. Her words came out soft, pulling them all in even closer. "There's one thing you can rely on with absolute certainty in these coming days, weeks and months: the safety of this vessel and her crew is my first priority. I will not risk lives unnecessarily. Losses on a mission like this are inevitable, but I will force that bastard to fight with everything he's got and make sure he pays a steep price for the blood we spill."
She sat back in her chair and leaned forward, elbows braced on her knees. When she spoke, she measured her words, letting each drop and settle before saying the next. "I will earn your trust. In return, this mission requires that I ask for every drop of blood and sweat, every inspired thought, every ounce of strength. If we don't stop Saren, Eden Prime . . ." She gave them a gallows shrug. ". . . well, Eden Prime will be known as the beginning of the end."
Straightening, she scanned the officers again. "Are there any questions?" When none presented, she nodded and gave them a tight-lipped smile. "Excellent. We are scheduled to drop the teams on Therum at 0900. Stealth system will remain active for the duration of the mission." Another single, determined nod. "Thank you all. Dismissed."
Kaidan remained as the others filed out.
"So, Sparky? How'd I do?" One side of her mouth quirked as she looked at him out of the corner of her eye.
"A solid 7.5 out of 10 ma'am. A little rough off the blocks, but you pulled it together." He leaned back. "This could get really ugly, couldn't it? If the Council is supporting Saren . . .."
Shepard nodded and took a long drink of hot chocolate. "Yeah, it could. We may well end up fugitives from everyone, because if Udina thinks we hurt Earth's chance to get a seat, he'll throw us to the wolves in a heartbeat." She shook her head. "We need to find enough evidence and get far enough ahead of the storm that the Council has to stand behind us even if it's just for show." She turned to meet his eyes and gave him a tight smile. "We can do it. Nihlus will make sure they have to listen."
Garrus, Nihlus, Williams, Tali and Wrex filed in within a minute and took seats. Shepard waited until they settled, then brought up the scans of the planet and dig site on the vid screen.
"Good morning. Our drop onto Therum is scheduled for 0900. Nihlus, Vakarian, Alenko and I will be dropping in the Mako just south of the dig site perimeter, here." She marked the drop location on the 3D surface scan. "The Normandy will drop Williams, Wrex, Jenkins, Gladstone, Pakti, and Tenaka on the northeast side of the camp. You'll have high ground and a good view of the entire area." She marked their drop point on a high plateau.
"Williams, you're team leader. Your team is distraction and backup if the enemy engages. Get into cover and watch our backs. If we end up having to go into the underground portion of the site, move your team up to cover the entrance." Shepard looked to Garrus. "Anything further from the dig site?"
"Sitrep at 0600 Normandy time was all quiet, but still no sign of Dr. T'Soni. I spoke to the head of the dig team, a Dr. Chandra, and she admitted that she's starting to get concerned. T'Soni is known for disappearing, but she usually checks in before now. She was on the far side of the mines from the camp. Chandra sent me the information on that area."
He stood and walked over to the console, circling an area a sizeable distance to the northeast of both insertion points. Keying in another command, he brought up a coloured overlay of the mines the dig team were using to access the ruins. "This area through here is geologically unstable." He highlighted a chunk just outside his circle. "They've sprayed polycrete to shore up the walls and ceiling, but Dr. Chandra says there's a chance that part of it caved in and trapped T'Soni."
Shepard nodded and gave him a tight smile as he returned to his seat. "If we end up having to hike two or three kilometres underground, we'll call for pickup from the back entrance here." She marked it. "That area is highly unstable, but on foot, we should be fine, providing we don't set off any large explosions."
"If you do call for extraction from the rear exit, we'll get the Mako back aboard the Normandy once we get your all-clear, ma'am," Williams spoke up.
"Excellent. Make sure everyone has three days' supplies in their packs, just in case." Shepard met their eyes. "Any questions?"
"What about me?" Tali asked.
Shepard smiled. "Adams tells me you have some ideas for improving our emission masking going into and out of FTL?"
"Yes. If it works, it won't mask them completely, but it will shorten the length of time that we are visible to sensors." The quarian practically bounced in her seat, vibrating with eagerness.
"Excellent. I'll need you to stay aboard and work on that. One more body on the ground won't make that big a difference, but those few extra seconds of stealth could save everyone aboard." Shepard winked. "Don't worry, you'll have lots of opportunities to use that shotgun."
She looked over her team. "Anyone else?" A nod met their silence. "Then, I'll see you all down in the cargo bay at 0830, suited up and ready to drop. Dismissed." She waited until they left before following, not wanting them to see her old granny hobble. Before anything else, she needed to head to the gym and limber up.
Stopping in her cabin, she checked her messages to make sure nothing urgent had come up, then changed and headed down to the gym. She'd just stretched, taped her hands, and started warming up on one of the heavy bags when Nihlus walked in.
"Shepard." Her name tiptoed from his mouth, like a butcher picking his way through a pack of starving wolves.
"Good morning, Spectre Kryik. I trust you slept well?" She kept her attention on the bag.
He chuckled and stripped off his tunic, gloves and boots. "Well enough, thank you."
Watching him out of the corner of her eye, she studied the way he moved as he warmed up. "You didn't have anything to add to the briefing?"
"In my experience, briefings work well until thirty seconds after the drop. Nothing ever goes to plan." He moved over to the bag that Garrus eviscerated the day before and started slapping it with the same open hand technique as the other turian.
"It's true that plans need to remain fluid, but it doesn't hurt to have a framework for people to fall back on when things go to hell." She stopped punching and stretched out her left side. She pulled her arm behind her back, then over her head. "Care to work out against something that can hit back?"
"We have a mission in less than two hours, Shepard. Do you want to hobble through it?" Despite his words, Nihlus turned to face her.
She smiled and shook her head. "I didn't ask if you wanted to rip my arms off. I'm pretty sure we both have a sufficient level of control not to hurt one another." Pulling her arm across her chest, she twisted at the waist.
The chuckle that came out of him sounded bitter and raw. "Nothing I've seen from you the past few days gives me any confidence in your level of control."
"Oddly enough, appearing out of control actually takes a great deal." She raised her hands in front of her face and lowered her center of gravity into a solid fighting stance. Forcing herself into complete stillness, she waited for him to reveal his intentions first.
He came at her with a handful of slow, easily blocked punches. Her counter-attack slipped between his long arms, landing three solid blows before she danced back, out of reach.
Moving faster, he jumped in, landing a solid blow to her sternum with the heel of his hand that knocked her back and left her gasping.
Shepard laughed. "Is that the best you've got, Kryik? Where's the deadly?" She winced and stretched, cracking her back. That last one hurt. Not that she'd ever admit it. She lifted one eyebrow, pulling back enough to meet his eyes, and bit her lip. "You a good little housecat? Keep the claws sheathed?"
He growled and feinted, spinning to hook her arm. He rolled her over his cowl and onto the mat, landing hard on top of her, knocking the wind from her lungs. "You really don't know when to shut up, do you?" He swept up her one leg, pinning her hard. "Why are you always peeling back my plates?"
She gasped for a second while she waited for her organs to settle back into their usual spots, then grinned and bucked up off the mat, using her hips and shoulders to roll him. Leaning over him, she grinned. "You need to loosen up, Kryik. Learn how to relax and just banter a bit. Not everything is the end of the world."
He scoffed as he threw her back, rolling effortlessly to his feet. He jumped in, distracting her with a left hand swipe, while bringing his right fist in low, aiming for her belly. "Some things are the end of the world, Shepard. I know enough to tell the difference. You treat everything like a joke." His eyes flashed with anger.
She tumbled backwards over her left shoulder, wincing as it complained. "Having a grin on my face doesn't mean I'm taking things lightly." She blocked three quick blows, then danced in, trying to land several of her own, all of which he swept aside.
"You've got a smart, filthy mouth, and you piss off everyone you come in contact with, even the people we need to be our allies." He backed off and dropped his arms. "What is wrong with you? I assumed coming in that with your military record, the crazy bitch rumours were the exaggerations of jealous comrades."
She dropped her hands as well, letting them hang heavy from her shoulders. "And now you honestly think I'm insane? There's no room for my behaviour to be tactically based?" Shrugging, she walked over to the stack of mats and grabbed her water bottle, taking a long drink. She offered it to him, cocking an eyebrow and waiting him out as he appeared to be deciding whether the offer constituted a trap.
He took it and drank, giving her a nod and grunt of thanks as he passed it back. "I have no idea what to think, Shepard. All you do is run that damned mouth too fast for me to know what's real." He stepped back in, giving her a second to get her guard up before he started throwing blows fast and furious.
She blocked them, but his speed threw her off on her left side. "You got something better for me to do with my mouth?"
He laughed and leaped into the opening. "You just can't help but throw yourself at anything male, can you?" He flipped her onto her ass and bounced away.
Lying there, she gasped for a second, then rolled to her feet. Her jaw tightened, molars squeaking together, but she forced a smile. "I could help myself, anytime, anywhere, but I'm choosy." She took her stance, hands held in front of her face, and beckoned. "You quitting?"
"Choosy is not the word I'd use." He dropped his hands and backed away from her again, his expression one of contempt and . . . something that made her stomach roll. "Does your behaviour have its roots in your colourful past? Drug addicts frequently need to pay for their habits in less than savoury ways."
Shepard reeled away from the blow, his words landing harder than his fists. Tears sprang to her eyes before she could crush them, and for a moment, she wondered if the pain in her chest was a heart attack. She held his glare, the teasing grin melting from her face, the muscles paralyzed and slack.
Finally, letting out a sigh that trembled far closer to a whimper than she cared for, she nodded. "Yeah. That was me, Kryik. You nailed it straight on the head. Five credit blow jobs from behind a dumpster in an alley. You must be psychic."
She forced a laugh that came out tasting like bile and sounded enough like a retch that she couldn't be sure it hadn't been one. She grabbed her towel and threw it around her neck. "You might want to take a second to ask yourself how many people you've seen me flirt with. Harkin was business, the fastest route to what we needed that didn't involve de-boning him in a public place." It took her a few seconds and hard swallows to get her next words out. "I told you I use my sexuality as a weapon, and I do, very effectively. Get this straight, Spectre. I don't fire on friendlies. Ever."
Closing the distance between them in the blink of an eye, she tucked her leg behind his and swept his feet out from under him, a firm hand on his keel shoving him onto his back. "Some things you just . . . do not . . . have the right . . . to say to me. Understand? I'm no whore, Kryik. Cement that into your memory, or I'll take you to school until you do. I swear to the sweet baby Jesus it's a lesson they'll carry you away from." She shoved herself up and stormed off, biting down on her tongue to keep from letting out a sob of humiliation and fury.
She barrelled through the ship until she reached her quarters, then threw her towel across the cabin. "Fuck!" Her lamp followed the towel, then the stack of datapads on her desk, her Alliance reg manual, and everything else not bolted to the floor. Still, the fury and disgust . . . and hurt . . . ate at her. How dare he?
Her eyes burned as hot, salty tears welled up, then spilled down her cheeks. She wound up and punched the wall. How dare he?
When you like him so much.
"Shut up," she growled. Her fist hit the metal with a satisfying thump that vibrated through the bulkhead.
"Look, meat, if you fight me, I'll tie you to that tree over there and make you watch as I do every single twisted, agonizing thing I plan to do to you, 'cept on that little one over there."
"Shut up. Shut up. Shut up!" Both hands pounded against the unyielding surface until exhaustion drove her to stop, sweat pouring over her skin as thick as the tears.
Knuckles rapped on the door.
She backed up and sat on the corner of the bed, elbows on her knees, throbbing hands dangling. "What do you want, Alenko?" It didn't take a genius to know who it was, considering she'd been beating the shit out of the wall right behind him.
The door opened. "Ma'am." He stared at her hands for long enough that she had to grind her teeth together not to say anything.
"Spit it out and move on, Sparky." She wiped the tears from her face on the sleeves of her t-shirt.
"Are you okay?"
She laughed, harsh and bitter. "It's all relative, Sparky. It's all relative. But yes, I'm fully functional and all over business. Is there anything else?"
He let out a heavy sigh and shook his head. "No, but I know what to get you for your birthday now."
Shepard laughed, caught off guard. "Oh?"
"Punching bag for in here. The Normandy wasn't made to withstand that sort of punishment." He walked over and ran his hand down the wall. "Thought for sure there'd be dents."
Shepard chuckled and nodded toward the door. "Get the hell out of here, Alenko. We're due on Therum in a couple of hours. If you want to be on the ground team, you better be waiting in the Mako."
He backed toward the door, groaning. "The Mako? Couldn't the Normandy just drop us from orbit without chutes? Be less painful." He grinned and gave her a sharp salute when she growled.
When the door closed behind him, she held up her hands. "Well, damn, you fucked them up, didn't you, Shepard?" Leaving the tape in place, she crossed her arms, tucking her hands into her armpits, then headed over to med bay.
"Fuck." She stopped in the doorway when she saw Nihlus sitting on one of the beds.
"Do you need something, Commander?" Dr. Chakwas asked, looking around the turian.
Shepard shook her head. "No, Doc. Thanks. As you were." She grabbed two medi-gel packs then backed out. Heading over to the freezer, she grabbed a couple of ice packs. It would have to do until she was in her armour and could mainline medi-gel.
"Shepard!"
She let out a long sigh, but didn't turn around. "What is it, Kryik?"
"I . . . uh . . .."
She half turned toward him. "I haven't got all day, just spit it out."
He glanced over at Alenko then back, nodding toward the door behind her. "Could we discuss this in your quarters?"
Shepard shook her head. "Not right now. I need to go over the scans for Therum. We can talk about whatever when we get back." She spun on her heel and headed in to her cabin. Just before she stepped inside, she remembered that he'd been in medbay and glanced back. "Unless this is about a mission critical injury. Did I damage something?" When he shook his head, she kept going.
"Shepard!"
"I'll see you down at the Mako in an hour, Nihlus." She shut and locked the door behind her, then set her chair upright. After staring at it for a moment, she flopped on the bed. She injected both hands with the medi-gel, then wrapped them in the ice packs and laid them gingerly on her belly.
"I'm an idiot." She sighed and closed her eyes. "A complete idiot."