Chapter 23

"She finally said yes!"

The smile that formed on her lips caused her entire face light up, and he once again saw the daughter he had given away two years before. She leaped into his arms, and he embraced her with a full heart in return.

"Yes, she has finally accepted me." He could not help but laugh. He could hardly believe it himself. "After so many years, we will finally marry."

"Oh, father, I cannot believe it! I did not believe the day would come when I would finally see you two together."

"Neither did." He admitted. "Granted, I had hoped, but I was having my doubts."

"Tell me everything!" She demanded as she embraced him yet again. "Oh, I'm so happy for you!"

"I will, after dinner. I want this evening dinner to be special." She nodded her head and accepted the gentle kiss he placed on her forehead. "Thank you for accepting her."

"How can I not? If she is worthy of your love and devotion, then she is worthy of mine."

"You do not understand how much joy your words bring me."

"Prepare yourself for this evening." Tatiana urged him. "Wear your very best suit and I'll ensure the meal is appropriate for tonight's celebration."

He gave his daughter a soft chuckle before nodding his head in agreement.

"I'll see you this evening."

Tatiana locked the door, unable to restrain a small squeal of delight from escaping. She had hoped, surely, but she had not believed her father could sway Antoinette from her stubborn stance. Yet his perseverance appeared to have at last paid off.

A love that withheld the test of time. She smiled as she leaned her head back against the door. If father could have his heart's desire after years of yearning, perhaps I can too. She dismissed her credulous thoughts. It was not time to dwell on an intangible fantasy. Her father was getting married, and she needed to prepare for the evening's dinner. She moved towards the closet when it suddenly opened. Startled momentarily, she realized in her excitement she had forgotten about her concealed guest.

"Did you hear?" He looked at her with an inscrutable expression. Suddenly, she felt uneasy under his gaze. She forced herself not to look away.

"Yes." His tone contained a hint of mournfulness.

"Are you not happy for them?"

"Far from it," he paused as though contemplating his words. "I suppose I'm a tad selfish in wishing to retrain what I have not had to share for some time." He admitted as he turned back into the closet.

"I don't understand."

"I do not expect you to." He said as he opened the cabinets containing her wardrobe.

"Well, I'm happy for both of them." She declared as she stepped into her closet. "They've been dancing around the topic long enough. What are you doing?"

"Helping you find something suitable for this evening."

"I never realized I had relinquished such liberties to you."

"I believe we have both taken enough liberties for us to debate over it now, wouldn't you agree?"

"Touché."

"This will do just fine." He handed her a gown.

"Do you not think this a bit much?" She looked over the selected dress. She recognized the delicate lace that decorated the edges of the skirts and the sleeves. It was a cream-colored gown, which was recently delivered to her.

"It is not every day one's father becomes engaged." He walked to her jewelry cabinet. "Someone has quite a collection." He said as he looked over the dozens of diamond, sapphire, emerald, and pearl necklaces before moving on to see the larger collection of rings, bracelets and earrings.

"The majority are family heirlooms."

"Impressive." He said as he picked up a diamond choker. "This will do nicely."

It had been years since she had worn the choker. Suddenly, she felt long-buried emotions surging forward. Flashes of a dance and a dashing smile which had always made her flush with foreign emotions. How easy it was to stir old emotions, she thought bitterly.

"Is something wrong?" A concerning expression washed over his features. She shook her head, suddenly uncomfortable in his presence.

"You better get going, too." She took the choker from his hand. "They'll expect you to be present for the announcement."

"I'll do my best to feign shock." A flicker of mirth appeared in his eyes.

"A simple congratulations will do," she opened her bedroom, peeking into the hall. It was not uncommon to find a servant going about their business during the day. Although, in theory, nothing inappropriate was done, a nagging thought pushed her to ensure secrecy over Erik's presence in her bedroom. How easy it was for one's name to become tarnished over false assumptions.

"I can assure you," She stilled as his breath caressed the back of her neck. "No one will see me depart." She realized she had not even noticed him approach her.

"You seriously need to wear a bell." She attempted to quip as she fought the sudden nervousness plaguing her.

"It would not help."

She turned around to face him with a retort only to have it still on her tongue, as Erik stared at her with an inscrutable expression she could not appraise. Neither spoke as each assessed the other. It was perhaps one of their most embarrassing, awkward encounters, and they had shared more than a few. Then the most unexpected thing happened. The corners of his lips gently turned upwards in the slightest hint of a smile. He gently took her hand and raised it to his lips. His eyes never left hers as he brought her fingertips against his lips. All coherent thought suddenly vanished as she struggled with the uncomfortable heat radiating from her fingers.

"Thank you." He quickly departed from her bedroom. She remained frozen moments after his exit. Unable to decipher what exactly had just transpired between them.

"Antoinette Giry enough already," She chided herself as she nervously massaged her trembling hands. She had been reluctant to speak to Meg all afternoon. Despite knowing it had to be done, it made the task no easier. She did not fear her daughter's rejection, far from it. She knew all too well how entranced Meg had become over the opulent world they've suddenly found themselves immersed in. While she may be overly receptive to their present, she may not be as amenable regarding the past.

"Meg?" She called out before her resolve wavered.

"Yes, mama?" Meg emerged from the dressing room.

"Child, we must have a talk."

"I did nothing, mama, I swear it!"

"It's not about you Meg, although now I'm now certain there is something you have done." Meg lowered her head.

"Then what must we talk about?"

"Meg, you have often asked me what I was trying so hard to hide about my past with Nicholas." She inhaled deeply, "Well, I think the time has come for me to tell you everything, but I must ask that you do not interrupt me or ask questions until I am done." Meg nodded as she sat before her.

"I was sixteen years old when Nicholas Alexandrov walked into my life. I was a very serious girl, even back then, consumed with dancing and providing for Erik. I did not allow myself to engage in any frivolous behavior. Yet, for all my resolve, it all crumbled when I met him. Nicholas was everything one dreamed of a Prince to be: tall, handsome, charming, and very wealthy. There was something about his presence that demanded attention. Even as I danced on stage, I could not help but notice him. He was not alone that evening. Nicholas came to one of the showings with a group of his friends, but while his friends were admiring the famous beauties on stage, I felt Nicky's gaze on me throughout the show. After the show, when I was tending to my feet, he came to introduce himself to me . . ."

"I'm not interested in becoming anyone's whore, Monsieur, so please go back to where ever it was you came from." She did not bother to make eye contact. She had enough of these wealthy aristocrats seeking to find warmth in her bed.

"Pardon me?" Confidence disappearing from his voice."I think you have made a mistake . . ."

"There is no mistake. I'm not interested." She declared as she finally looked up to stare at the most handsome man she had ever seen. For a moment, she could have sworn time stopped and it was just the two of them.

"Was it love at first sight?" Meg asked, her eyes filled with wonder.

"No, but there was something there," she smiled at the memory, "from the beginning there was something there."

"My name is Nicholas Alexandrov, and I can assure you upon my family's honor, I have no such intention." Despite his proclamations, she continued to eye him wearily. She was young, but not a fool. "I wished to congratulate you on such a splendid performance." She remained silent. It was too easy for one to fall for a handsome face and hollow praises. She had seen too many girls fall under the illusion their boyfriend would be different, that their boyfriend would marry them and take them away. She had yet to see such an illusion fulfilled by any man. "May I know your name at least?"

"Antoinette."

"I should have had him escorted away, but for some unknown reason I could not turn him away."

"He's a handsome man now," Meg smiled, "he must have been exceptionally handsome in his youth."

"I thought so," she could feel the heat rushing to her face once again, "The other dancers certainly made a point of fawning over him when he would visit me after each performance."

"So your courtship started, then?"

"Our acquaintance started then, and although no promises or expectations were established, we found ourselves irresistibly drawn to one another."

"Over the course of a few weeks, Nicholas became a steady fixture in my life. He had somehow broken through the thick layer of ice I had formed around myself as a barrier and made himself at home in my heart.

I would eagerly await him so we could continue our conversations, which to some may have appeared nothing of importance, while to me they were priceless. There was something between us cemented so deeply, I knew then he would always be someone of importance in my life. I had fallen for him, and although he always remained cautious and polite, I knew he cared for me. Love need not be voiced to be expressed.

Yet, for all our joy, Nicholas seemed to be filled with an inner turmoil. He never spoke of the reason for his pain. He seemed reluctant to speak of his family. Against my better judgment, I didn't pry into his life, content with the fragments of information he shared. His attentions somehow seemed more important and somehow justified any concerns I may have had."

"You always say to think with your head." Meg placed her hand over hers. "He was deceiving you, wasn't he?"

"We were deceiving one another." She closed her eyes briefly. "A person can be deceptive to themselves by refusing to see what must be seen or ignoring what cannot be ignored. There is nothing more dangerous than love, Meg. For all of its wonderful qualities, no one ever speaks of the downfalls of it. You can lose yourself in the moment's exuberance, and betray yourself by shunning the very morals and principles which are the core to your very person."

"You are making excuses for his behavior?" Meg inquired hesitantly.

"I'm merely affirming we were both fools in love."

"One evening after a particularly romantic dinner, we walked back to the Opera house. Although neither of us spoke, there was something very much in the air that evening. It was the first time Nicholas voiced his feelings.

"Antoinette, you must know I feel."

"How we both feel." I tentatively placed my hand in his and looked into his eyes.

He looked at me with an expression of wonder, sadness, and profoundness, before kissing, bringing my hand to his lips.

"Antoinette, sweet, sweet Antoinette. You have no idea what you have done to me." He whispered into her hand. I could do nothing but caress his cheek. Nothing more needed to be said between us. We simply understood.

One day Nicholas surprised me with a beautiful diamond and emerald necklace. I was very much speechless by the gesture. When I attempted to decline such an extravagant gift, he merely simply smiled.

"Do not be so shy, little one. It's the least you deserve."

"Why do you treat me so well? You do not even ask for anything in return."

"Do you care about me?" His hand cupped my face, gently running his thumb over my cheek.

"You know I do."

"Then that is repayment enough." Touched by his words and unable to contain my emotions any longer, I kissed him on the lips for the first time. Although surprised, he could not push me away from him, instead, he pulled me closer and returned the kiss with an intense longing that frightened me a little. I was such a novice I did not know what to do. Rather than think, I allowed my feelings to guide me. I savored the feel of his lips on mine and marveled at how wonderful it felt to have his body so close to mine. But before I knew it, he pulled away from me.

"Forgive me, I didn't mean to..." I placed a finger over his lips and silenced him. Whatever he had to say didn't matter; nothing besides him mattered to me at that moment. I wrapped my arms around him, just wanting to feel him close. Unable to deny my silent request, he returned the embrace, kissing the top of her head as he leaned into me."

"I don't understand. If you both loved one another why was he distant?"

"He wasn't distant, Meg. He was being a gentleman by protecting me."

"Protecting you? Protecting you from what?"

"Sweet innocent Meg, how little you know of this world."

"Over the next few weeks, we become closer and practically inseparable. We never went beyond kisses and warm embraces. Every time I believed we would give in to our passions, he would pull away, leaving me longing for more.

The emotions he stirred were foreign to me. I understood nothing, yet everything. I knew he was threading a very cautious line. A line I had ceased to care for.

One day, I out of frustration and desperation I mustered the courage to broach the subject with him. His words were forever engraved in my mind and heart.

'Antoinette, I love you far more than you'll ever know. You are the most beautiful thing in my life and because of this and more, I will never take you unless you are my wife.' Seldom had I ever felt the sting of rejection with the balm of adoration.

"I swear Antoinette, one day you will be my wife." He vowed as he kissed me. I believed him. I foolishly and blindly believed him."

'I swear Antoinette, one day you will be my wife.' He vowed as he kissed me. I believed him. I foolishly and blindly believed him.

My Nicholas, although he did not deceive me with words, he deceived me by omission. He may have wished to marry me, but he had no authority to proclaim promises of marriage. He allowed me to believe there was a possibility for a future between us. He allowed me to dream it was possible for an improvised ballerina to marry a man of considerable status."

"His title and wealth prevented him from marrying you?" Meg squeezed her hand. "Oh, mama, how difficult it must have been for both of you."

"His status made is difficult, but not impossible to consider marriage. There was something far more profound and binding that prevented us from being together."

"I don't understand."

"He was already bound to another, Meg." She whispered.

"What?"

"After my performance one evening, Nicholas joined me in my room. We were talking and rejoicing after a brief separation which had required him to return home. He had come back to me, particularly distracted. I knew there was something troubling him, but he refused to discuss the matter.

"Everything will be resolved soon," he reassured me. "And then there will be no more separations, my love."

He spoke with such conviction, how could I doubt him? Touched by his promise of no more separations and elated at the prospect of our future, I kissed him. Kissed him far more zealously than I should have. It was during this ardent embrace, my dreams came apart at the seams.

Shouting from outside the dressing room brought us back to our senses. We looked at one another in confusion when we heard approaching footsteps. Nicholas moved me behind him as the door was flung open.

"Nikolai!" A young woman screamed.

"Marie," Nicholas said calmly.

"How could you?"

Stunned by the unfolding scene, I could do nothing but stare at the petite woman before us.

"I can explain -"

"Explain what?" She demanded, and she approached Nicholas with tears in her eyes. "You are willing to give everything up for this whore!"

"Don't insult her!" He roared.

"I will! What else do you call a woman who has come between a husband and wife?"

"Husband?" The word felt like ash in my mouth. I could not believe it.

"Yes! Husband! Didn't he tell you he was married?" Marie shouted as she approached me.

Nicholas turned around to face me with an apologetic and shameful expression as he reached for my hand. "I tried to tell you, but -"

His words fell on deaf ears as my shattering heart muted my surroundings. He had lied to me. He had a wife. I was not his beloved; I was nothing but his paramour before the eyes of everyone.

Rage and anguish consumed me as I slapped him harshly across the face.

"I trusted you!" I cried.

"Please, let me explain Antoinette!" He pleaded, but I could not listen. He had betrayed me. Blinded by my rage, I began throwing things, not caring if they hit him or his wife. I wanted them to hurt, too.

"Maybe now you will think twice before you become involved with just any man!" Marie shouted before a jar of powder hit her in the head. Her eyes widened as a cry escaped her lips.

"Out! Both of you get out! I never want to see you again, Nicholas, never again!" I said before running out of the room and making my way through the crowd who were all staring at the spectacle before them.

"Antoinette!" I heard Nicholas cry out, but I ignored him as I ran. I ran into one of the hidden entries to Erik's lair. All I could think was he had lied to me. He had made me fall in love with him, knowing we would never be together. Shame consumed me, but it paled compared to the ache burning within me. Once I reached the stairs, I finally allowed myself to crumble to the floor in tears. Large, painful sobs escaped my lips as my heart wailed in sorrow."

A/N: Thank you for the continued support. Please, do not forget to review!