The queen is coming for tea today,
The queen is coming for tea today,
He'll do what she wants, send her on her way.
She promises misery and to slay,
His daughter if he tries to disobey.
Oh, the queen is coming for tea today…
He got Grace up in the morning, making breakfast while she got ready. They ate, and she talked about what she had planned for her day. A science test she was sure she'd do well on, and a boy that she maybe, kind of, sort of, had an interest in. He kissed her head and she headed off for school. And then screamed.
The Queen of Hearts was in his garden. Grace was up in the air, held in place by his rose bushes. Cora smiled at him, and he bowed, kneeling at her feet. It was always easiest to do what she wanted.
"It's nice to see that you remember your place, Hatter. Long time no see."
"Your Majesty. What brings you to my home?"
She gestured for him to rise, and it took everything in his power not to immediately look at his daughter. But he'd spent years as the Queen's pet and knew better than to show her any kind of disrespect.
"I'm new to town. Thought I might stop in on an old friend."
"Of course. You honor me, Your Majesty. Would you like to come inside?"
"That would be lovely. Perhaps a cup of tea?"
He nodded, welcoming her into the house. The Queen beckoned at the flowers holding Grace with two fingers, and they pulled out of the ground to float behind her. Grace squirmed, and he tried to send her a look to stay calm but was sure it hadn't worked. He could feel the madness coming back to him, madness he never wanted Grace to see.
He had to make the Queen happy. Had to make her the perfect hat. The urge to hum, and rhyme, and most of all, the energy. So much energy to do, do, do something! Anything. Whatever would make the Queen happy. Anything to keep her happy. The madness he'd fought off around Grace, flooding back in.
"Papa!" Grace cried out to him, and it broke him out of it, just enough to send her a harsh look that he hoped told her to be quiet. The Queen was in his kitchen, sitting at his table, and if she was displeased, oh, then nobody would be better off. Grace went silent, and the Queen seemed willing to let the one outburst go, so he set about making tea, all nervous energy.
"Your tea, Your Majesty." He set it before her, careful that it was just the right temperature, that nothing spilled over the side. "What, uh, what else can I do for you?"
His daughter was in the air still. Not squirming, but those roses had thorns, and surely something was hurting her. But the Queen was here, so he had to make her happy. Anything to keep her happy.
"You are always so very gracious, my dear hatter. I do need somewhere to stay until I find my footing here. But only if it's not a trouble." She took a careful sip of the tea and smiled. A smile was good. But not good enough, because there was only one answer.
"Of course. No trouble at all." Grace's eyes were pleading with him, but what could he do? This was the Queen, the true Queen, the ruthless Queen. Regina, he could fight. But the Queen of Hearts? All there was to do was make her happy. "We'd love to have you."
"Excellent. As you might guess, I'm not the most welcome in town. It seems best that I bide my time, stay out of trouble. Have someone else keep an eye on the goings-on in Storybrooke."
"You are welcome to stay here, of course. I was planning to go into town today if it would please you to hear what I find there." Think, think, think. There was a way to make this work. He could make it work. He had to. "Although someone might suspect me, going into town if Grace isn't at school."
"Well, of course, Grace must go to school." It worked. It worked, it worked, it worked. That was all that mattered. But Grace was still in the air, still held up by the uprooted roses. Why wasn't she free? Why, why, why?
"If Her Majesty wishes it." Put her down. Let her go. But of course, he can't say it. No, that might make her mad. Nobody wants to see the Queen mad. No, no, no. "Whatever we can do to serve you."
Cora looked him over with that appraising look of hers, took another sip of tea, and then flicked her wrist behind her, the roses dropping, letting Grace go. He couldn't check on her, no. No, that wouldn't do. So he waited, counting to ten again and again until Grace stood, a bit scratched up, but not much worse for the wear.
"Go to school." The Queen commanded Grace, and she hurried to the door. It wouldn't open. "But Grace, dear, remember what will happen to your father if anybody should find out that I'm here. It wouldn't be good at all."
The door swung open, and Grace looked back and forth between him and the Queen before rushing out the door. She didn't even close it behind her, so he hurried to do so. Otherwise, the Queen might feel a draft. He couldn't let that happen, no sir.
"She seems sweet. Such a pretty little girl." The Queen's tone was light, almost casual, and that was always a threat. Kindness wasn't real to her, he wouldn't be fooled by it again.
"She is." He found himself tapping his foot, tap, tap, tap, the energy begging for an escape. "What else can I do for you, Your Majesty?"
"Exactly as you've already said. Go to town. Let me know if anything interesting comes your way."
"I can do that. I will. Of course, Your Majesty. Make yourself at home. Is there anything I can get you while I'm out?" She narrowed her eyes, the only indication that what he'd said was wrong. But that was all he needed. He knew her expressions, knew her well. Couldn't let her be upset with him.
"Anything you get out of the ordinary could tip somebody off. We wouldn't want that, would we?" He shook his head, first once, then again and again, to prove to her he was serious.
"No. No, no, no. Wouldn't want that. I can keep a secret. Everything as normal, of course."
"Very well. Then go." The dismissal was freeing, and he ran about, grabbing his coat and his keys, murmuring apologies and assuring her that nobody would know anything, that everything would be normal.
He went to the store. He told her what he'd heard, that someone new was in town, that they were staying at Granny's. Grace came home. He cooked dinner. They all went to bed, and everything was normal as could be. Because normal kept Grace safe. It kept the Queen happy. So normal it would be.