Knuckles rapped on the door. Shepard looked at Garrus, then sighed, and called out, "That door will detonate in ten seconds. If you don't want to get blown into chunks, go away."
"Not a very practical means of sending people away in a space faring vessel," Dr. Chakwas's prim voice called from the other side. "You might want to consider electric shocks or some other means that won't result in a hull breach."
Shepard laughed. "I'll take that under advisement. Come on in, Doc." When the door opened and the doctor stepped through, the captain laughed. "Electric shocks, Doc? You are a sick woman. I knew I liked you."
The doctor walked over and perched on the chair that Garrus had vacated. "I went through the readings from your armour and prepared some treatment that I am pleased to see Officer Vakarian has already begun."
"Hey," Shepard protested. "How do you know that I didn't just start treating myself?"
The doctor deadpanned, "Painkillers and some supplements and absorption enhancers to help with the boxer's fractures."
Shepard tilted her head, giving the doctor a dubious scowl. "There's nothing in the pain meds that will cause . . .." She broke off, her face heating up as she felt Garrus's eyes on her. Last thing she needed to do was to draw attention to her issues yet again,
"Don't worry, Captain," the doctor said, sounding a little insulted. "There are no triggering ingredients in this pain medication."
"In that case," Shepard said, leaning to the side to open up her throat for the injection. "The painkillers will be welcome. They'll have worn off by morning, though, right? I have to drive the Mako."
Dr. Chakwas harrumphed a little. "Yes, you'll be clear-headed and able to drive, although from what I've heard about your driving, no one would have known the difference." She administered the shot. "What was it again? Four waterfalls before you got the Mako to shore?"
Garrus chuckled, earning him a narrow-eyed glare.
Shepard shook her head, affecting indignation. "I think people in the Alliance military need to spend more time defending Earth and all her holdings and less time gossiping."
The doctor unwrapped Shepard's hands, clucking over them a bit before injecting both of them. "They should be fine by morning. Keep the ice on for twenty minutes and then off." She held up a regen frame. "This is going on your knee." She motioned for Garrus to look away, then helped Shepard out of her boots and trousers and into shorts. Once the regen frame glowed around the captain's knee, the doctor stood.
"My work here is done," she proclaimed, striding to the door. "I'd better get back to med bay before Nihlus manages a successful escape attempt. Good night, Captain . . . Officer Vakarian."
Shepard slid down into her pillows as the meds began to take effect. Garrus covered her up with her sheets and blanket, but seemed in no hurry to leave. He stretched out a little at the end of the bed, letting out a stiff groan.
"I'm not going to do something crazy if you aren't guarding me," she grumbled. "You can go about your business."
He just muttered something that her translator didn't catch and semi-reclined across the bottom corner of her bed. She blinked, staring at him as his features blurred a little, finding him pleasant to look at. More pleasant as the moments passed, and her eyes drooped heavy.
"Hey, C-Sec," she said, barely able to keep her eyes open, drifting off between words.
"Yeah, Shepard?" He let out a long breath. "Those painkillers are kicking in, aren't they?"
"Mmmhmmm." She grinned, almost drunkenly. "They are. Happy, happy painkillers. Your nose whistles when you sigh. Did you know that?" Her eyes slipped closed. "If I told you something, would you promise to forget by tomorrow?"
He chuckled. "Consider it forgotten." The mattress moved as he shifted.
"It's a secret," she whispered, her index finger wavering in front of her lips, "but I thought god had given me something awesome to make up for the slavers killing my folks and . . . well, they fucked me up, C-Sec. Pretty bad." She scratched the end of her nose and yawned.
"But, I don't talk about that." She raised her eyebrows even though her eyes stayed shut. "Anyway . . . you know, I thought he'd said, 'Here, Jane, I'll give you these skills and a path that'll help you save other people from living through the same shit you have'." Low and musical, Shepard sighed. "How stupid, huh?" She gave her head a heavy, lopsided shake. "So stupid, cuz, no matter what, there's always another bad guy, more people getting hurt."
She turned over on her side and opened her eyes a slit. "Kryik called me a whore. Ironic, huh? Since I've never actually let anyone touch me."
A wide yawn split her face, and she slid down into her blankets. "Will you stay until I go to sleep?"
The turian cleared his throat. "Sure. Get some sleep, Shepard. We have a long road ahead."
Shepard let out a dramatic sigh and smacked her lips together a little as her head relaxed down into her pillow. "You were really heavy. Thought my hands were going to rip off."
"You're high. Go to sleep."
"Yuuuup," she whispered. "High as balls. Goodnight, Garrus."
A strange, rumbling purr woke Shepard some time later. Yawning, she rolled over and looked at the chronometer next to her bed: 0330. "Still the middle of the night," she grumbled and turned back over, tugging her covers up around her ears. Letting out a sharp sigh, she realized that the rumbling sound was still there. She'd spent time on a lot of ships, but never heard a sound like that before.
The sound stopped with an abrupt snort and her bed moved.
"What the . . .?" Shepard sat up then laughed. "Hey, C-Sec," she whispered. "Don't mean to alarm you, but you're about to wake up in the captain's rack."
Garrus shifted a little, his head and shoulders still propped up against the wall, his lower legs hanging over the end of the bed.
"And you're probably going to regret falling asleep in that position." She reached out, shaking his shoulder gently, not wanting to startle him. "Wake up, C-Sec. It's time to go find your own rack."
His eyes opened, and he stared at her for a few seconds before jumping up. "Shepard!" He smoothed his tunic and glanced around as if he expected enemies to manifest through the walls. "I . . . um . . .."
"Fell asleep." She chuckled and shrugged. "It's not a big deal. Go on, go find a more comfortable place to sleep. I'll see you later on."
He backed toward the door, still self-consciously trying to straighten himself out. "Ah, yeah. Goodnight, Shepard." He hit the door control, stepping through when it opened.
"Hey, C-Sec . . . Garrus," Shepard called after him.
Garrus paused and turned back.
"Thanks." She gave him a thin smile. "Thanks a lot."
His mandibles fluttered. "My pleasure. Now go back to sleep." He chuckled and stepped out.
"Vakarian?"
Shepard winced at the tone of Nihlus's voice. "Fuck me, I don't need this right now." What was the Spectre even doing out of med bay?
"Taking the new CO out for a test drive?"
Shepard bolted up off the bed, but slowed when Garrus let out a disgusted chuff of air.
"You don't know anything about Shepard, Kryik. Maybe you should pull your head out of your cloaca long enough to talk to her and learn a few things."
"That must have been some test drive, if she's already got you defending her honour." Nihlus spat the words with venom that confounded the hell out of her. Shepard wrestled the sheets off the regen frame and clambered up onto her feet.
"She doesn't need me to defend it since it's not in question. Yours, however . . .."
Shepard hobbled out the door at the sound of a small scuffle. "What the hell is going on out here?" The two turians stood nose to nose, their entire bodies poised to do damage. "Vakarian, you don't need to defend me to him any more than he has the slightest right to question anything about me." She nodded toward the elevator. "Thanks for your help and the talk. Much appreciated. Get some rest."
She turned weary eyes to Nihlus. "Get in here. Now."
He bristled, then backed down and stalked past her.
Shepard shot Kaidan an apologetic grimace. The soldier sat at the table dressed in his sleepwear, looking incredibly uncomfortable and nursing a cup of something steamy. "Sparky, is everything okay?"
"Yeah, Captain. Just a bad dream. I thought I'd grab a cup of cocoa before going back to sleep." He gave her a concerned scowl and nodded toward her door. "You okay? Need backup?"
A grateful smiled passed over her lips as she shook her head. "Nah, I can handle it. Get yourself back to bed, soldier. It's late. Thanks, though." She waited for him to nod, then followed Nihlus into her quarters.
"So, found someone who liked your bed?" the Spectre asked the moment the door shut.
Shepard limped over to him and snapped to attention, hands clasped behind her back, her entire bearing rigid and formal. "Spectre Kryik, I have reached the end of my tolerance for your behavior. I command this ship and need to maintain the respect of the men and women aboard her. You will cease making snide comments and allegations about my sexual activities." She blew out a sharp breath. "And, if I hear you speaking to a member of the crew the way you just spoke to Officer Vakarian, I will eject you from this vessel. Is that clear?"
He scowled, his mandibles dropping, brow plates lowering. He reached out to grip her hand, releasing her like she was on fire when a low, thin scream made it out between her lips. Antagonism turned to concern in a flash. "What? What is it?"
She shook her head and strode past him. "I'm fine, just lay off the attitude, Kryik. You don't know anything about me."
He followed her. "What's going on? You're hurt?"
"C-Sec helped me take care of it." She nodded toward the door. "I told you that I would never sleep with anyone under my command. I never have, and I never will. That is the end of the subject. Forever."
Rather than walking away, he closed the distance between them. "What happened to you? Why are you like this?"
"That is a long and boring story, Nihlus. Just leave it with the fact that you don't need to concern yourself with it. If this is some sort of twisted jealousy . . .." She shook her head. "Well, calling me a whore is not acceptable behaviour. Is that understood?"
When he didn't answer, she turned to look into his eyes. "Is that understood, Nihlus?"
He stepped toward her, his eyes softening for the first time in days, his brow plates lowered. "What was all that? With me?"
Shepard shook her head, exhausted, hitting the downward crash side of the mini-dose of adrenaline. "Oddly enough, genuine attraction. Something that comes along . . . well, something that hasn't come along." She nodded toward the door. "Don't let it concern you, it won't interfere with our working partnership. I'm over it. Now, please . . . I'm tired."
He reached out to touch her hair, but she ducked out from under his hand. He sighed. "Shepard, I'm . . . I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean to be cruel, you just . . . you drive me crazy with your smart mouth and your constant . . .." He chuffed. "What you did with Harkin. Yes, you got the information, but at what cost?" He stepped closer to her. "Was what we got from him worth cheapening yourself?"
Shepard sighed and met his eyes with a completely closed stare. "It didn't cheapen me, Nihlus. I decide what I allow to cheapen me. That didn't even ping the ladar. What you said to me in the gym and that little scene out there a minute ago, that cheapens me, and it cheapens you. You haven't known me very long, and you've had the crappiest couple of days on record, so I've been willing to cut you some slack, but that ends now."
She walked over to her chair and sat, lifting her shoulders in a small shrug. "I get it, Nihlus, I do. You loved Saren like a brother, maybe even as a father figure, and he tried to kill you in cold blood. The council you've served faithfully may also be betraying you, and now you're an honourable soldier left asking yourself how many of those missions they've sent you on have been dishonourable."
Shaking her head, she looked around the room as if it encompassed not just the Normandy, but their entire mission. "Now we've been cast adrift, no real idea what we're facing, or even how to figure it out. Trust me, I'm feeling that as much as you are. I also understand that I'm a wild card, and for all you know, I'll end up betraying you as well. I'm not going to try to convince you otherwise. That knot will untangle when it does."
The resolute iron rod snapped straight in her spine. "We have to work together, and I think we do all right on that front, so let's keep things professional. Trust me when I say the message that you find me morally repugnant has been received. If you cannot interact with me without resorting to name calling, then you need to find alternative transport. We can always coordinate the search via comms."
He straightened, his face showing remarkable shock for a turian. "Shepard . . .." He let out an exasperated chuff of air.
"We're fine, Nihlus. I'll see you at the debriefing in a few hours. You should get back into med bay before Dr. Chakwas realizes you're gone and tranqs you again." She just stared at him until he turned and walked to the door. When he left without saying anything else, Shepard let out a long, relieved breath and moved over to her bed.
Before she lowered the light, she glanced down at the end of the bed where Vakarian had passed out jammed up against the wall. She grinned and laid down, dimming the lights but not all the way.
"What a very strange turn your life has taken, Jane Shepard," she said and yawned. Her eyes closed and she drifted off to sleep.
Three hours later, she rolled out of bed, stiff, but able to move her hands and touch her knee without screaming. Once free from the regen frame, she flexed her knee a couple of times. Serviceable. Today's mission didn't involve running, so she should be fine. Dressing quickly, she grabbed a dried fruit bar from the galley and headed up to the comm room.
"Sparky, my friend," she said to Kaidan as he placed a mug of hot chocolate in her hand, "you will be a general some day. I swear I'll make that happen." She sat in her seat and sipped her hot chocolate while the rest of the ground team and Dr. T'Soni filed in, taking seats around the room.
An hour later, Shepard sat slumped in her chair for a long moment, waiting for the pounding in her head to ease. "Note to self: asari mind-melds hurt."
"Bit too late for that note too," Garrus called from the door as he followed the others out.
"Get to work, C-Sec," she yelled after him, then grinned.
Her head really did hurt. Shepard let out a long sigh and shoved herself up out of her chair. A couple of aspirin would see her right, well, except for the nightmarish images that T'Soni had stirred up like a wand blender cutting its way through her grey matter. The vision didn't make any more sense, but at least the asari had been able to clear it up a bit. Her suspicion that the images were a distress call solidified into a certainty. It had been the last desperate attempt of a dying people to warn those who came after. As horrific as its contents were, the message itself broke her heart.
She headed down to her locker, putting on her armour automatically as she worried through what everything meant. They had so few pieces to the puzzle, none of them edge pieces, and someone had thrown out the box. How would they ever fit it together in time?
"I only recall assigning two of you to this mission," she called, striding up to the small crowd of people waiting at the back end of the Mako. "With my driving reputation, I'm surprised the two I assigned aren't hiding somewhere."
"I like to live dangerously," Garrus said, "so I was hoping you'd change your mind and take me along, but I think the rest of them just want to know what it's like to . . .." He raised and softened his voice to imitate Dr. T'Soni's. ". . . embrace eternity."
Alenko blushed, giving himself away even though he was one of the two actually assigned to the mission.
Wrex cleared his throat and shrugged. "I've had sex with asari, so I already know. I'm just here to shoot things." He rolled his shoulders and hitched up his armour.
"Come on, ma'am," Williams said, shrugging as if she didn't really care, but her eyes shone bright with curiosity. "It looked freaky as hell. What did it feel like?"
Shepard took a long breath, letting it out as she narrowed her eyes, affecting a deep thoughtfulness. "It felt like having someone stick their fingers straight into your eyeballs, and then sort through your neurons like flipping through a card file. Then, when they found what they were looking for, they ripped it out . . .." She performed a wild ripping gesture to emphasize her words. ". . . balled it up, and then ate it." She scrunched up the imaginary card file, popped into her mouth and chewed. "Mmm mmm good. I'm pretty sure all my memories before I turned five are gone now."
Waving her hands, she shooed them away. "Everyone who isn't going on the mission, begone. Work awaits you all." She looked to Wrex and Kaidan. "People who are going on the mission, into the Mako." Swooping her hands toward the hatch, she ushered them in. "Time's a'wastin'."
Giving Garrus an apologetic grin, she shook her head. "Sorry C-Sec, the Mako is full. We'll see you in a couple of hours."
He let out a long, sorrowful sigh, his shoulders sagging in his armour. "I knew everything would change once we slept together."
A sharp, startled laugh escaped her, and Shepard punched him in the shoulder hard enough to make her hand complain. "You . . .." She jerked her head away from the Mako. "Go find something to do, C-Sec, and stay out of trouble." She climbed into the Mako and closed the hatch, still shaking her head. "Slept together . . .. Sweet baby Jesus, cheeky buggers, the lot of you."
"Crews do tend to look to their captains, emulating their behavior," Kaidan said, slipping into the passenger seat.
Shepard thumped down behind the controls. "Now there is a wise career move. Emulate the woman most likely to get Cat 6'ed and sent to a retirement home on Protoplanet Vesta."
Kaidan frowned and cocked his head. "Isn't that in the asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter?"
"It's a really terrible retirement home," she replied.
He shook his head. "Star of Terra for holding off the batarians during the Skyllian Blitz, Captain of the Normandy, Spectre candidate . . . we could do worse."
Shepard grumbled and focused on getting the Mako ready to drop.
Twenty minutes later, the vehicle plunged across the surface of Edolus at maximum speed.
"You know, it does have other speeds," Kaidan called as the tank leaped off another small hill.
"Where is the fun in that?" Shepard glanced over at the navigation system. "We should be coming up on Kahoku's men any minute."
Kaidan activated the vid screen where a windshield would be in a vehicle that didn't have to withstand enemy fire. He pointed off to their right. "APC at our two o'clock. Looks like a Grizzly."
Shepard changed their course. "Ruined APC in the middle of nowhere. Nice, flat, grassland . . .."
"Thresher nest!" Wrex shouted from the back.
"Yep." Even as Shepard answered, the ground ahead of them exploded upward, a massive, tentacled nightmare erupting from the peaceful valley floor. Shepard aimed straight for it, yelling, "Shoot it, gentlemen! Shooting it would be good."
The monster spat a glob of acid that splashed against the front right corner of the Mako's roof. Kaidan ducked, even though the acid didn't burn through all the way. At least, not at first.
Shepard hooted with manic glee and pulled the tank into a tight circle around the worm. "The key, Brothers Sparky and Wrex, is to keep the Thresher Maw above ground."
"I'm going to puke," Kaidan gasped, despite his hands remaining steady on the firing control for the machine gun, sending short bursts of bullets at the creature.
Shepard just kept circling, giving her gunners time to adapt to her maneuvers, but also giving the Maw time to do some decent damage with its acid. "Okay, heading for high ground and repairs, gentlemen." She peeled off, heading for a steep rise of rock, weaving the tank back and forth across the path to avoid most of the acid bursts.
"It's going to come up under us!" Wrex yelled as the thresher disappeared underground. "It's going . . .."
The Mako exploded off the ground, flipping over in the air. The damage sensors began to scream. Shepard hit the thrusters, pulsing them with one hand to slow the tank's descent while using the other to manipulate the eezo core to lower their mass as much as she could manage. The second the tires touched ground, she hit the accelerator, sending it careening up the side of the rocky hill.
"Holy crap," she said, laughing weakly as they reached the top of the hill, well out of the maw's reach. "That was exciting! We nearly bought the farm there, boys." She hit the omni-gel, sending the miraculous goo shooting along the tank's bloodlines to make emergency repairs.
Reaching over, she slapped Kaidan's shoulder companionably. "You okay there, Sparky? Still breathing?'' Craning around over her shoulder, she caught Wrex's red-eyed, dirty glare. "What?"
He just grumbled and shook his head.
Shepard shrugged. "I thought I got us out of that admirably." The repair protocol alerted her that it had completed its work, and she reached out to stroke the console with a loving hand. "How's that, old girl? Nothing like a nice shot o' tank medi-gel to make you perk right up." Turning back toward the lowland, she dropped it into a low gear for the descent. "Here's the plan, gentlemen. We're going to head straight out, when it shows itself, I'm going to circle around it twice, keeping it on our left. You shoot the crap out of it. Then, we come back up out of range. You know, providing it's not dead."
"Captain . . .." Kaidan looked at her, his mouth gasping a little like a fish's for a second, then he just shook his head and turned to his controls.
Shepard hit the accelerator and the Mako rumbled back down to the nest. The thresher came back out almost the same spot, giving it lots of opportunity to spit acid at them as they careened across the grassland, swerving like drunken lunatics, which, coincidentally was what Wrex kept calling Shepard.
She ignored him and pulled into the circle, keeping the maw on the tank's left for two circles. This time she took slightly more tangential route to the cliff, trying to avoid the creature coming up underneath them.
"Hey, Sparky," Shepard yelled.
"What?"
"Duck." She grabbed the back of his neck and shoved his head under the console as she swerved to take the incoming glob of acid on the right front quarter of the Mako. When it passed, just grazing the roof, she let him back up.
She drove straight up the cliff on the left side of the low area, keeping the accelerator to the floor until they reached an outcropping high enough to be safe from the Thresher's acid, and big enough to park the tank for a few seconds.
"I see a bright light, Captain," Alenko whispered, looking decidedly green. "Should I go toward the light?"
"Not unless you want to fall off the edge of the cliff, Sparky. That's just the sun coming in the hole the thresher burned through your door." She gave the Mako a shot of tank medi-gel and sat back, one elbow cocked on the side control panel, the other resting casually on her thigh.
She turned back and grinned at Wrex. "How's it going back there?"
He said nothing, but turned his head to show her the still smoking spot on his head casing. She gave him an impressed nod. "Nice. You're going to come through this with a souvenir."
The tank repair protocol dinged, letting her know that all functions that could be repaired, were repaired. "Okay gentlemen, once more into the breach." She turned the Mako downhill. "Wrex, keep shooting that damn thing right where it sticks out of the ground. Blast me a hole through there, will yah?"
"Shepard, wait . . .." The krogan let out a roaring moan. "What are you . . .?"
"Sparky, same goes for you. Fire smart, don't overheat the gun, but keep it aimed right smack in the middle where it comes out of the ground." She hit the accelerator, roaring downhill to give the cumbersome vehicle some momentum before it hit the grass. They made it maybe ten metres out into the open before the Thresher exploded out of the ground a Mako-width off the front left quarter panel.
"Woohoo! All right boys, this is where you do your thing." Shepard kept the throttle open full and pulled a hard left, trying to make it angry enough to stay above ground. "I hate it when it pops up under us," she grunted, heading back to the rock wall again.
"Wrex! Are you unloading that canon into that thing's neck?" she bellowed as the ground shook, the Thresher heading underground. "Oh dear, this could be where we all die. Sweet baby Jesus, I confess, well, most of my sins . . .."
The back end of the tank flew upward, slamming her down into the seat, then throwing her forward into her harness, her head smacking a corner of something. The sound of metal grinding over stone filled the cab. For what seemed an eternity, the Mako slid along on its nose, then the back end dropped. Stunned, but her hands still on the controls, Shepard kept the throttle open, returning to the ledge. An ear-piercing sound reverberated through the cabin like a dentist drill to the brain.
"Sparky! Stop screaming, we're alive," she yelled, wiping blood out of her eyes. She hit the tank medi-gel again.
"That's not me," Kaidan said, his voice weak and thready. "I'm too terrified to scream. I need a can opener, a small electrical device and a car battery."
Shepard glanced back at Wrex. "Really? That sound was coming out of you?"
"I think all my ancestors just pissed on my grave." The krogan collapsed backward in his seat, his arms and head hanging.
"What do you need the car battery for, Sparky?" Shepard asked, giving Wrex's theatrics a dismissive wave.
"Open heart surgery. Need it to run the pacemaker."
She let out an incredulous laugh. "You two are such pansies. Tell me this isn't fun."
"This isn't fun!" they yelled in unison.
"Pansies." She muttered to herself until the repair protocol dinged. "Same thing, gentlemen. Let's go."
Letting out a hearty whoop, she sent the mako roaring back down. This time, the thresher was waiting right at the base of the cliff, but that gave Shepard a chance to get a head start on it and she laid the Mako flat out in a charge across to the low hills on the south side.
"This is insane, Captain!" Kaidan yelled. "It's going to come up under us. It's going to come up under us."
Then ground shook, the Thresher roar so close and so loud that the Mako shivered with it, but it missed.
"Shoot that thing, gentlemen," Shepard called, swerving the cumbersome tank out of the way of an acid ball. She checked the maw's readings on sensors. Good, their concentrated fire was doing the trick. She spun the Mako around, not giving the thing a chance to go back underground. "Keep up the fire, Wrex."
"What are you doing?" Wrex screamed. Shepard heard his finger hitting the firing control constantly, but just aimed the Mako like a giant, awkward missile.
"Goodnight, Thresher," Shepard called, aiming straight for the thing's neck.
A glob of acid hit the roof at the back, sending Wrex into a paroxysm of screaming krogan curses vile enough to make their ears melt. Shepard didn't bat an eyelash.
"You're not . . .?" Kaidan squealed. "You're going to get us killed!"
"Glory hallelujah, Brother Sparky. Praise be to the merciful Enkindlers."
With a slam that smacked Shepard's head into the same metal edge she'd hit the last time, the Mako smashed straight into the thresher maw's neck. For a moment that seemed to last a half hour or so, Shepard thought Sparky had been right, and she'd gotten them all killed. Then, in a massive spray of goo, blood, and guts, the tank erupted through the back side and the giant worm collapsed onto the shuddering ground. Dead.
"Yes!" Shepard crowed, throwing her hands in the air. "Glory hallelujah and kiss the great big glowing asses of the Enkindlers. We just drove a Mako through a worm, gentlemen."
Shepard pulled the tank over next to the source of the distress call and parked it. "Well, now we're here, let's see what happened to Kahoku's men. Just be careful getting out, the whole tank's going to be covered in thresher acid." She unbuckled her harness and climbed out.
About ten metres from the transmitter, a burned out APC laid tilted on its side. Bodies of Alliance Marines lay strewn around the entire area, most of them so badly burned it would be impossible to identify them. Shepard sighed and shook her head. "Damn shame. Someone lured them into this trap, but who? And what the hell does this have to do with Armistan Banes?"
Alenko crouched next to one of the bodies, gingerly removing the man's dog tags. "Lt. Kieffer." He winced as he looked down at the remains. "Only reason I can think of for killing off the unit that discovered Banes's body is to cover up that it wasn't Banes at all."
Looking over the waste of life, Shepard nodded. "Gather up their tags, gentlemen. I'll climb in the wreck and see if their recorders caught anything." Ten minutes later, the recordings downloaded to her omni-tool, she called for the Normandy to pick them up, and began preparing the Marines for return to the Alliance.
When, at last, Shepard drove up the ramp and into the cargo bay, she let out a triumphant yell. "Gentlemen, we have driven through the belly of the beast and survived." She parked it and started flipping off switches, powering it down.
"Literally," Kaidan sighed. He unfastened his harness and turned off the gun. "I need to write home, ask mom to send me a box of new underwear."
"I think somewhere, there's an entire store filled with already shat on underwear with my name on it," Wrex said. "Remind me to say no when you ask me to go along next time, Shepard."
"Babies." She turned off the key and unfastened her harness, following the other two out. "My underwear is daisy fresh."
Wrex's eyes slid over her, then he grunted and shook his head. "Now mine feels a little tight."
"And I feel uncomfortable . . . also pretty sure I didn't need to know either of those things," Kaidan called over his shoulder, fleeing for the elevator.
Garrus stood about three metres away from the elevator door, staring at the Mako with his mouth hanging open.
Shepard grinned as she approached him. "Don't worry, C-Sec, I'll be down in a half hour to help with repairs. Make sure to hose it down really well before you touch it. Might want to use some sort of industrial solvent."
"What's with the green slime and purple tendrils?" he asked, his voice soft and monotone.
She turned back, cocked her head and squinted. "Oh . . . thresher maw intestines."
He scowled as he looked at her, then reached up to brush her hair away from the clotted slice in her scalp. "Drop by med bay while you're at it. You're a constant disaster in progress, aren't you?"
She shrugged, chuckled, and then clapped him on the back. "See you in a bit."