Heroin and Vodka

Author's note: Hey guys. It's been some time. Fortunately, it's not been too long and I was able to manage to squeeze in this chapter in between my busy schedule. My exams are coming up in 3 weeks and I will be pretty busy for said time. So, this will probably be the only chapter I will be able to post in a while before the first week of May is over. So, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own How To Get Away With Murder. Its plot and characters are the sole property of Pete Nowalk and Shonda Rhimes.

Chapter 32

"The Sixth Amendment gives you the constitutional right to adequate representation. You were denied that, right?" Annalise asked a woman sitting across to her in a cell.

The woman frowned.

"I had a public defender."

"Virginia Cross, yes. I know." Annalise said with a nod of acknowledgement. "Did she win your case?"

…..

"Obviously not." a bald headed man replied. "Wouldn't be rotting here if she had."

"Ms. Cross didn't have the resources to hire a blood splatter expert to refute your charges." Annalise replied, as she browsed a file, which was laid open on the table between them. " If you had a proper defense, then your attorney would have done a full investigation. Hired a PI, done a jury analysis…" she tailed off.

…..

"So you're saying that lady bumbled my case?" asked another man.

"The public defenders are doing the best they can. But the Governor cut their budget. So Ms. Cross couldn't afford to look for other eye witnesses…"

…..

"What are you saying? I could go to trial if we win this class action?"

"If we win, every case in the lawsuit will be retried. I mean it's bigger than that. We're going to force the Governor to hire more public defenders for you and other future defendants. It's about taking on the system as a whole. You may be entitled to damages. It's also possible to clear your name .Win back your freedom. All you have to do…" Annalise replied as she pulled out a single document from her file, "…is sign this."

The man frowned hesitatingly as he contemplated the offer.

"Listen, we need to break the cycle of discrimination. Think about all the innocent people you'll be saving." she replied, with a smile. She took a deep breath. "What do you say?"

The man nodded, drawing the document closer to himself and taking up the pen.

"I'm in."

Annalise stepped back from a board as she pinned the latest plaintiff's picture on it. A total of twenty four places were occupied. Annalise smiled softly, as she took up her Dictaphone and spoke into it.

"Only sixteen more to go."

She set the device down and walked over to the mini fridge and pulled open the door. Resolutely ignoring the bottles of alcohol lined up on the shelves, she reached into the center shelf and pulled out a carton of chocolate ice cream. As she set the carton down on the counter top, a memory assaulted her.

Flashback

"While an over indulgence could obviously be harmful for the body, studies have shown that ice cream actually works wonders for the recovering alcoholic. It contains alcohol-mimicking components which provide a sensory delight, producing a similar situation to being drunk." Isaac concluded their latest session.

"Reaaly?" drawled Annalise "Ice-cream? Seems a bit too easy to me."

Isaac eyed her in a knowing fashion.

"I know you're skeptical but at least give it a try."…..

End Flashback

She sighed irritably.

"Coffee it is." she mumbled, putting the ice cream back into the fridge.

It was 10:30 am on a bright Sunday morning as people were busy strolling the park, taking in the fresh air and walking their dogs. One corner of the park though was buzzing particularly with activity.

Isaac barely managed to swivel out of the way as Gabriel lunged for the ball. He stepped back and took up a defensive position instead. Isaac eyed him critically.

It had been almost two weeks since the man had met Gabriel. After their first initial game, Isaac had made it a note to visit the park around his block every alternate day. Each day he would find Gabriel busy shooting for the hoops. They would engage in a friendly game of around a half hour before Isaac would set off back home for his clinic.

But today was a Sunday. Meaning it was his off day. Meaning he had been at the court for almost an hour.

Ever since their first game, Gabriel had become wary of him and had decided to stop holding back. This meant that Isaac had to double his effort to keep up with Gabriel who was actually a deft player. He was agile and dexterous, whereas Isaac was comparatively slower. But whatever advantage Gabriel had in terms of speed, Isaac more than made up for it in terms of his height and years of experience.

Isaac reached up and brushed the sweat off his forehead. He was carefully dribbling the ball as Gabriel eyed it intently.

They were tied at four points each. Which meant that whoever would score the next point, would bag the game.

"Not going to let you get anywhere near that hoop, old man." Gabriel called out challengingly.

Isaac smirked.

"We'll just have to wait and see, wont' we?" he replied.

Gabriel crouched down as he readied himself.

Without warning, Isaac dashed forwards, dribbling the ball quickly, switching it rapidly between his left and right hands.

Gabriel groaned inwardly.

Not this again, he thought.

Isaac was steadily approaching Gabriel who had already extended both arms in anticipation for Isaac's feint.

This was the moment of truth.

Isaac reached Gabriel, who immediately lunged out with both his hands in an attempt to block him. Isaac swerved to the left, dodging his hands and shot off towards the hoop. Without a second thought, he shot the ball forward and watched as it sailed through the hoop and feel back down.

"Game." Isaac declared triumphantly.

"Don't get so cocky, old man." Gabriel replied. "Remember, I won the last one."

Isaac shrugged as he threw the ball to Gabriel who caught it.

"I guess we all have our days." he replied, with a chuckle.

Isaac was headed back home. He was just walking down the steps leading to his clinic, when he spotted a familiar face standing near the door.

"Connor?" Isaac asked, in surprise.

Connor turned to face him.

"Hey doc." he slurred. "Long time no see."

Isaac frowned at the tone and stepped closer to him. When he was a few inches away from him, he smelt it—the reek of alcohol.

"You're…drunk?" he questioned. He couldn't believe the young man in front of him was drunk at this hour of the day.

Connor rolled his eyes.

"Just a wee bit." he replied.

Isaac growled in reply.

"Get in." he replied abruptly, in a tone that left no room for argument.

Connor shrugged and stepped aside as Isaac walked past him and unlocked the door. Connor walked in after him. Isaac led him to his study.

"Wait here." he replied, as he walked up the stairs. Connor watched him disappear upstairs. After a few seconds, he came back down, a bottle in hand. He approached Connor and thrust the bottle forward.

"Drink up." he commanded.

Connor stared down at the bottle.

"No booze?" he complained.

Isaac contemplated him with disgust.

"You've had enough." he replied, with a frown. "Besides, what kind of addiction therapist would I be if I allowed you to drink under my roof?"

"Point." Connor replied, plopping down on the couch and taking a swig of the water. He set the bottle down and looked up at Isaac.

"Nice place you've got here." he replied, as he gazed around.

Isaac nodded absentmindedly, ignoring him as he walked over to his desk. He then turned to face him.

"What exactly are you doing here?" he asked. "You're not here for therapy, are you?"

"Not likely." Connor replied, as he casually leaned back into the couch. "Besides, no amount of therapy can deal with the crap in my mind."

Isaac frowned at that statement. What did he mean? He then recalled a conversation he had had with Jacqueline, not too long ago.

Flashback

"What is there to explain, Isaac?" Jacqueline asked, exasperated. "She's a criminal with a criminal history."…..

End Flashback

His mind flashed back to the present. He decided not to question him, recalling their earlier encounter. He decided on asking something else.

"Heard you dropped out of school." Isaac replied, in an abrupt fashion. "Why?"

Connor frowned.

"Where did you hear that?" he asked suspiciously.

Isaac let his mind wander. Truth be told, it had been Laurel who had informed him of this during their last session. Isaac had started to grow increasingly worried about her these past few sessions. She hadn't been sleeping very well, which was quite evident from the dark circles underneath her eyes and her general drowsiness. At first, Isaac had attributed it to her pregnancy. But now, he guessed it was something else entirely.

But Laurel had specifically requested him to not reveal her visits to any of the Keating 5. Isaac assured her that he wouldn't. Besides, he couldn't even if he chose to as he would then be betraying a patient's confidentiality.

Isaac shrugged in response.

"You have your secrets. I have mine." he replied.

Connor nodded slowly.

"Fair enough."

Isaac watched the young man in front of him. He could easily tell that something was clearly troubling him.

"Why did you drop out, Connor?" he asked softly, as approached him and occupied the couch opposite to him.

Connor sighed. He looked up at him. His eyes met Isaac's.

"You really want to know why? Cuz of her." he spat out.

His eyes widened. There was no doubt in his mind as to who the 'her' in question was.

"Annalise?" he asked, puzzled. "But what does she have to do with any of this?"

"Everything." Connor replied with a sigh. "My life would still be normal if she hadn't picked me for her stupid Keating 5. I'd be in Law Review. Training in some fancy firm. Banging all the straight guys there…."

Isaac eyed him intently.

"Well." he replied shortly. "You've come a long way since then. Its already been more than a year since you joined Middleton. So, why leave now?"

"No I haven't." he replied, with a shake of his head. "I almost slept with some guy off of Humpr today."

Isaac watched him silently, not interrupting him.

"For sex." He continued. "See. Look." he replied, pulling out his phone from his overcoat and clicking on it. He then turned the screen towards Isaac. Isaac spotted a conversation between Connor and an unknown guy.

"He's wondering where I am right now." Connor replied, putting away his phone.

Isaac sighed.

"You didn't go to him though, did you?" he replied gently.

Connor was silent for a few moments as he contemplated his words.

"We did….so many bad things." he replied.

Isaac raised his eyebrows.

"What are you talking about?" he asked. But Connor appeared to have ignored him.

"Wes lying in the basement…." he trailed off, a faraway look in his eyes. "Its all burnt into my brain. You know what?" he asked, looking up at Isaac. "I'm actually jealous of him. At least he doesn't have to live with any of this anymore."

Isaac was silent as Connor continued.

"I've thought about it, you know." he replied, as he looked up at him. Isaac raised an eyebrow questioningly. "Suicide, you know? Just…ending things. I should have done it while I had the chance."

Connor's mind flashed back to the night in question, when he had actually contemplated talking his life. It would have been so easy to just do it—to stick his head out and let the speeding bus ram straight into it. If he was lucky, it would all be over in a second.

"Connor?" Isaac's voice called out bringing him out of his thoughts. He looked up at him. The older man was eyeing him with a strange look. It wasn't pity. It was a look of empathy.

"You…are a lot stronger than you think."

Connor eyed him critically.

"I just told you I wanted to kill myself. How is that strong?" he asked, his voice breaking.

Isaac heard the pain and guilt in his voice. It was almost reminiscent of his own pain—the pain and guilt he had felt over losing Stella.

"Because you came here." he replied, softly. "I've…been in your shoes, Connor. This guilt you're feeling, I've felt it as well." He took a deep breath and continued. "And I'll tell you the same thing I told your professor. It passes. Your life is far too precious for you to just throw it away without a second thought. Besides, have you ever given a thought as to what it would do to Oliver?"

Connor stared at him silently as his mind tried to conjure Oliver's image. He tried to picture the grief and shock on his face. He looked up at Isaac and blinked in surprise. He could see the pain reflected in his eyes. A memory flashed into his mind.

Flashback

"I know." Isaac replied, quietly. "I know that look. I've seen it on my patients. I know because…that was the same look I had seen often in my daughter's eyes. It was the same look… I had…when I lost her."…..

End Flashback

"I'm sorry." Connor replied, quietly. "About your daughter. I forgot."

Isaac shook his head.

"What I meant was the pain and guilt lessen with time. Or at least…" He sighed. "That's what I've been told."

"Does it ever get better?" Connor asked.

Isaac met his eyes.

"Connor, you…can't possibly blame yourself for Wes's death. He was already dead before you arrived at the basement. There was nothing you could have done to save him." he replied firmly. "Besides, as far killing yourself goes, its only going to make things much, much worse."

Connor was silent for a few moments before he spoke up.

"Well." he replied. "Thanks. For this… pep talk and all, but I need to get going now." He stood up. Isaac stood up as well, chuckling lightly.

"Are you sure you're sober enough to go back home?" he asked.

"I think I'll manage, doc." he replied. He walked towards the door and pulled it open. He turned back to face him.

"And hey. I'm sorry for that comment about you banging Annalise back at the hospital." With that, he turned and left.

Isaac gave a wry grin as he exited his clinic. Connor wasn't even aware how 'bang' on he had been.

Author's note: There you go. Sorry. I couldn't resist that pun at the end. It just clicked in my mind and I'm a sucker for good puns. Anyways, there's still no news of a Season 6 renewal. Keeping my fingers crossed for the news. Read and review, guys. The next chapter will be out by mid-May.